La Nueva Felicidad

0:08 Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for a better life. I am Eugenio Palla Ruiz, reader, hard- working, writer and lover of personal development. In today' s episode we' re going to talk about the book The New Happiness, a book just published just a month or two ago and written by Stephany Harrison. This book has autobiographical aspects. At one point, the author, Stephane Harrison, thought she finally had everything she thought she was going to do. Happy had got a prestigious job, if he had bought a great house, he had a very promising future ahead and despite all that, he felt deeply inferio. She says she had anxiety attacks practically every day, she felt lonely, etcetera. And it was at that moment, when she decided to change her life, when she decided to start studying what she calls the science of happiness, and in this book she decided to tell all the things she learned on that path. You' ve ever stopped to think about what happiness really means to you as we usually don' t do this, as we usually don' t ask ourselves most people simply adopt that definition of

1:42 happiness that society gives us. Society tells us that happiness comes from being perfect, from making more money, from getting more material possessions. But these objectives, at least for themselves, will not only make us happier, but they can even make us less happy, because all that pressure all that competitiveness generates stress and, moreover, it often leads us to loneliness. It is what the book calls old happiness, that of individual success, that of material wealth, that of winning above all and all. But we can redefine that way of understanding happiness, we can prevent all those beliefs from dictating our thoughts and, therefore, our actions. True happiness comes from discovering who you are, from putting your gifts and talents at the service of others, from pursuing what you really care about in the world. And the best of all is that this idea of happiness, this new happiness, not only benefits you, but it will also have a positive impact on everyone around you, that is, that somehow your own happiness can change the world. The problem, then,

3:20 is that we have all been taught at least three lies about happiness. The first is that we lack something by nature that, no matter how much we achieve, we will never be enough and that is why we judge ourselves, we punish ourselves when we feel that we have a lack, we think we are fools or that we do nothing right. And those thoughts are not original thoughts. Our answers are conditioned by a culture that is constantly telling us that we are not enough. So don' t confuse your self- esteem with your actions. You try to separate what you do, that sometimes it will be fine and sometimes it will be worse. Separate those actions, separate what you do from your worth as a person. They' re two absolutely independent things and so you have to see them. The second lie they teach us about happiness is that happiness will come when we achieve objectives that are generally external, for example, wealth, for example, fame, popularity, etcetera.

4:36 But it' s not like that. Those external objectives are usually going to leave us with a sense of emptiness. Once we' ve reached them. Andrea Gacy, for example, the famous tennis player tells in his book that his name is Open by the way, that he felt absolutely nothing when he reached number one in the world ranking, because it was a goal imposed by others. The goals imposed by others or imposed by society, will not fill you because they are not yours. That' s why it' s so important that you reflect on your goals, that you think about the things that really matter to you. You think if what you want to achieve today is given by social expectations or by your personal values, and focus on the latter in internal goals that meet your true needs and desires. Those goals are the only ones that can bring you closer to happiness, not only when you achieve them, but throughout the whole process, that is, they will make you happy even if you don' t reach them. And the third lie that most of us face around this theme of happiness is the belief that we are separated from each other. Modern culture fosters individualism and that leads many people to

6:14 a sense of isolation. The reality is that true happiness is deeply linked to our relationships with others. All studies have shown that the happiest people are those who are most connected to others. Loneliness, on the contrary, especially when it is loneliness that is not sought, when it is involuntary, that loneliness can have harmful effects on our health, both mental and physical. That' s why it' s important that you encourage social connections, that you find points in common with other people. I know that you do group activities, that you are interested and that you like them. In reality, our true potential is unlocked through our relationships with others, helping others is also essential for new happiness to help the human being. You know it' s a necessity.

7:17 It' s like sleeping or eating. It' s something that increases our level of well- being. In fact, it' s a scientific thing. Helping others activates the same part of the brain as food or sex, that is, releases neurotransmitters that make us feel good. And yet for some strange reason we find it hard to ask for help. We are influenced by the cultural belief that we need help. It makes you unworthy and everyone needs help. That' s the reality. So I invite you to think this way. When you ask for help, you are giving someone the opportunity to feel the joy, to feel the pleasure that will give them to help.

8:11 Another key aspect of this new happiness to be able to discover and use our unique gifts and talents remembers that everyone has gifts and talents, and those gifts and talents serve to put them at the service of others. That' s why he put them there. Either God or whatever you prefer to call it, how do you identify what your gifts and talents are, because there are many people who still don' t seem to be clear about them you identify them by how they make you feel, because when you do something that involves those gifts those talents, that is, when you use them, you feel alive, you feel connected to your true self, so discover what excites you, discover what interests you. Think about what those activities are that lead you to the state of flux, to that state in which you are so absorbed in what you do that time seems to disappear. If you discover and use your gifts, your talents, you will improve your well- being, and not only that, but you will also have a positive impact on the people around you. And another key aspect that the book gives us to achieve that new happiness is to begin to see the world as a space in which we are all interconnected. Do not look just like an individual, but as

9:43 a human being among billions of human beings, that is, become aware of how much the rest of the world contributes to your well- being. Be aware that many past and present people have made their contribution and that allows you to live in a more comfortable way. Think about it and when you think about it, look for the way you can also contribute to the world and make others' lives a little better. If you see the world this way, if you start to think that way, then you will realize that success is no longer just about winning or accumulating wealth, fame, power, etcetera.

10:35 All that stuff we were talking about was old happiness. You will realize that true success is in using your gifts and talents to have a positive impact on that interconnected community. So design your work to fit your gifts and not the other way around. Identify a problem that you like, that passions you and thinks how you can use your gifts your talents to solve that problem, and then it' s mathematician believe me that there will be people who will be grateful to you in one way or another and, as a result, will pay you for it. It will end up paying you for it, because money is the way society has to thank us many times, so you know, true happiness is not in external achievements. You are enough, as you are and happiness, at least, that new happiness that the book tells us about, is to discover what are those gifts, what are those talents that make you unique and start putting them at the service of others to help them solve a problem that you are passionate about solving and when you see the world that way, you make you live better and the people around you live better. And now, before I say goodbye, let me announce that you

12:05 have at your disposal a compilation of the best ideas on personal development told in a practical way in my four own books. You already know them free, healthy and happy, thirty- one days to improve your life, minimalism for normal people and seven steps for a purposeful life. You already know that you have the four books available on Amazon and that I leave your link in the notes of the episode and if you liked it, please subscribe to the channel share it on social networks or visit three www ideas to live better. Dot com there you can download completely free of charge a copy of my last book and without further saying goodbye. Thank you very much. As always and until the next time, without a friend' s dermament, all of it, of finger fat, of lack of apture,