Hábitos para ser más efectivo

0:13 Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for a better life. I am Eugenio fencer Ruiz, reader, hard- working and lover of personal development. Today I want to tell you what I learned in the course seven habits of highly effective people. Before starting, as always, remind yourself that you have at your disposal a compilation of the most relevant ideas about personal development. In my four books you know them free, healthy and happy. Thirty- one days to improve your life, minimalism for normal people and seven habits for a purposeful life. Also remind you that if you want to train in personal development in depth, what has worked for me is the master' s degree in personal development, on line, that of o and PPE of Institute of Positive Thought.

1:02 You know I think it' s the best training in this field. And if you have decided to change your life, but are not yet ready to do a master' s degree, I recommend that you download the ebook for free twenty- five habits for economic abundance, a system with which you are going to improve your relationship with money and thus get to have the lifestyle you want. I leave you the link to my four books, to the master class of the personal development master and to Libook free in the notes of this episode a little lower than the play button in that box. And now we ' re going to talk about the seven habits of highly effective people. These last few days I have had the opportunity to attend the course of the seven habits of highly effective people, which is a wonderful course and I liked it so much that today I want to share with you the learnings that I have taken. I had already read the book, I had already commented on it in this podcast. Also, you can look for the episode on your platform, but I have to admit that the course takes you to another level of understanding about those seven principles, if those seven habits Stephen proposed covid The first thing to say is that it' s not the same. Be efficient than be effective. To be efficient is to do what others say to you without considering anything else. Being effective is doing things that help you get what you

2:38 want over and over again. That is why the first recommendation is that we must be effective. You don' t have to be efficient. Effective people come out of the hamster wheel where most people are stuck because they ask questions, ask the right questions. The first thing this type of people does is rethink their paradigms. Paradigms are the glasses we all wear to see life. So everything starts from within oneself, from the roots of who we are. We' re like trees. If our roots aren' t strong enough, we' re going down. Our tree falls. So the way to be effective is from the inside out, not the other way around, although sometimes we can get confused. The idea of the seven habits is to move from dependence on others to interdependence with others. I' ll explain this a little bit more. Young children are absolutely dependent, but older children should not be.

3:53 We have to take the wheel of our life. We have to take the wheel of our decisions, take responsibility for our lives. Then there are three habits that help us become more independent, not interdependent, but independent, moving from dependence on others to independence. And these are we' ll explain them in depth later. These are being proactive, having goals and knowing how to prioritize, but being totally independent is not the ideal situation, either, simply because we all live and we all work with other people. And so what this course or this book proposes is to go, one step further, is to move from independence to interdependence. Interdependence is the highest degree of maturity we can attain. And that' s what we' re going to do with three other habits, which is basically think about how we can win each situation, understand each other, and look for synergies. And you' ll wonder. You' ve said three habits to move from dependence to independence and then another three to move from independence to interdependence. But one is missing, right, because it' s seven habits, so one is missing because, of course, all this way we won' t be able to do.

5:18 If we do not stay physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy, nothing exists, nothing we can do if we lose health. Therefore, the last of the habits we will see later is what the author calls sharpening the axe to give that shift from dependence to interdependence. We need to change the glasses we see the world with, change the mental map from which we operate, change as we see the world. In short, we all have different perspectives, based on what we learned as children, based on our experiences and based on the society and the environment in which we live. And that' s normal.

6:05 Everyone operates like that. The problem is that that mental map influences how we think and how we act, so if that mental map, if that paradigm is not the best, it will negatively affect our whole life. It will affect the results we get, because the results come after the actions and those results will reinforce our way of seeing the world. Our paradigm creating a vicious circle. That circle can be vicious or virtuous If we are getting the results we want, then we strengthen a paradigm that leads us to achieve them.

6:46 Virtuous circle. If we are not achieving the results we want, our results will reinforce the paradigm that leads us to achieve those bad results. Circle vicens clear, then this leads us to another concept. How we know that we are on the right mental map, that we are in the right paradigm, because we get the results we want. If you' re not getting the results you want in your life, you' re not on the right mental map for yourself and you have to change that mental map before you change the things you do, because the changes go from the inside, out?

7:30 Not from outside to inside? So this whole course is based on the fact that there are seven habits that will allow us to move from dependence to independence and then to interdependence, which is the highest step within our personal maturity. And it doesn' t matter why. What the instructors say is don' t think about why that change occurs. These are a series of principles that, if applied, will make us progress in life. These principles are not values. Values are personal. I' ve told you so many times.

8:11 You may agree with them or you may disagree, but the principles are not opposable and these seven habits are principles. They are indisputable, as the law of gravity can be. So I don' t get involved anymore. Let ' s move on to those seven habits, one by one. The first of those habits is to be proactive, to take the wheel of your life, which is the basis of everything else. It' s essential. You have to understand that you are responsible for your own happiness or your own unhappiness, and you cannot blame others. You can' t even blame the circumstances for the things that happen to you. So stop adopting the victim role, stop being reactive, because that' s not good. That makes you lose control and makes you feel like you' re a ship in the middle of the sea, no sails, no motor, you' re at the mercy of circumstances. Instead, if you take control of your life, you know you can' t change what happens, but you can change your attitude towards what happens. We cannot change reality, but we can decide what our response to what happens is going to be. So, to do this, the

9:43 first thing you need to do is pause between the stimulus, that is, what happens around you and your response. You don' t have to react immediately to everything that happens around you. It is at that pause that you discover your ability to choose the answer you want to give to that situation. You have to understand what the things are that shoot you. They can be your children, they can be your boss whatever it is and they can know how you respond to those triggers and how you would like to respond then, when that situation comes to you in the future. Recognise her breathes to calm you down. Count to three or ten. If necessary and remember how you would like to respond. You have to give your brain time to respond from the rational, not from the reptilian point of view, from the emotional point of view. And now take a look at your schedule and change what you have to do for what you choose to do, because the difference is abysmal.

10:52 When we' re in control, when we choose what we' re going to do, stress disappears what you have on your homework list. You have to have consciously chosen him and with that simple change of verb you, I have to do something. Oh, I want to do something. We ' re already having a positive impact on the chemistry of our brain, so change the reactive language I have to for the proactive, because no one has to do anything in life. And another key practice to adopt this habit of being proactive is to focus on your circle of influence. Don' t waste your energy on things you can' t control, like that jam in front of you. When you do this, automatically, your circle of influence expands, because self- confidence grows. Don' t spend your time on things you can' t control, just those that you can control. The second habit of the seven is to have a purpose, a vision for your whole life. Ask yourself who you want to be? Ask yourself what legacy you want to leave in this world when you leave and don' t let life take you wherever she wants, don' t get carried away by the current.

12:13 You have to define a mission, you have to define a purpose and you have to live on it. You have to choose to live on him. We should all have a phrase that defines what our purpose is, what our mission is, because it all starts with a thought before we move on to the physical world, this table, this microphone, everything was in someone ' s head. Someone thought about them, someone designed them. All material is created first in the immaterial, and that is why you need to write that phrase that summarizes your purpose, your mission in life. Building your life without that phrase is like building a house without plans. How you get to that phrase. It' s not about inventing it, it' s about detecting it Think about the good things that that person you admire had. Think of the talents you have in your natural gifts. Think about the things you value the most, think about the things you deserve to be alive for.

13:18 Also think about what you' d like your loved ones to say at your funeral. And with all that material, create that phrase that defines your purpose, that defines your mission in life and then prints it, make paper posters at home. With her you have to be constantly seeing her. The third habit. The third habit is to prioritize using your time to do what is most important to you, for that mission, for that purpose. We usually devote our time to things that are most urgent and not to things that are most important. We do dramas, crises, but not the important thing.

14:01 Then you have to focus on your priorities. You have to eliminate what' s not important. Start saying you don' t have to have your big tasks, your big clear rocks, because if you don' t have them, the little things of the day are going to fill your days and you ' re never going to get your purpose, you' re going to be busy, yeah, I guarantee you, but you' re not going to get anywhere. There are things that are urgent and important, like your health. They' re things that don' t admit discussion. You have to do it. Yes or yes, there is crisis. Things happen, you have to take care of them, but you can' t always be doing things that are urgent and important. It' s not healthy. It' s not healthy. Then we have things that seem urgent, but they are not important. For example, when someone asks you for something that' s in a hurry or when you go to a meeting that you shouldn' t have gone to this kind of task, you' ve been stressed out, you' re drained of energy, but they don' t contribute anything to your purpose. I invite you to reduce the time you spend doing this kind of task, but the thing can get even worse. It can be even worse, because there are tasks we do that are neither important nor urgent.

15:20 We sit and watch TV, surf social networks, gossip in the coffee machine with the partner about another partner, get in zombie mode and do it most of the time to make up for all those absurd things that we do throughout the day that drain our energy and that don' t give us anything. These tasks, which are neither important nor urgent, are waste of time, so I invite you to reduce even more than before the time you spend doing these things. So the ideal quadrant, the ideal situation is to do throughout the day important things that are not urgent, important tasks to fulfill your goals, your well- being, your family, plan for the future, without haste, without burden, without obligation, because in the end the turtle always wins the hare. Like in that famous fable. You should spend at least fifty percent of your day doing important things that aren' t urgent. So be proactive and structure your agenda around this idea. There will be important, not urgent things that you will like more less. But do them, do them before they become important and also urgent, because that' s when the stress comes the firefighters think. A firefighter is not putting out fire all day, he is training for when that urgent moment arrives, to get ready and

16:52 to be prepared truth. So think of all those roles you have in life as an entrepreneur, as a father, as a mother, as President of your community, no matter what it is and think about what is the thing or the two most important things you have to do during the coming week and then put them on your agenda, because, eye, you need an agenda and you need to sort it every week in a quiet place, in silence and prioritizing those things that bring you closer to your mission and then, with the time you get free, you' re settling everything else in the gaps that you have left, not the other way around, because if you put everything else in the agenda from the beginning, you' re not going to have space for the big rocks, for those things that really bring you closer to your mission. When we have succeeded in introducing these three habits into our lives, we have attained independence, ceased to be dependent, and taken the reins of our lives. Now let' s keep going up in that matrix that I explained to you at the beginning. We are going to continue to rise towards interdependence, because we already know that independence is not necessarily the optimal State. We have to go towards interdependence. The fourth habit is to always

18:26 think from mutual benefit, to think that all parties involved in anything will gain. The problem is that many times we think from scarcity, we think that if you win, then I lose. Or if I lose, you win and life is abundant. There' s more than enough for everyone. We have to approach our relationships whatever they are with an abundance mentality. And for this the first practice is to think of others and yourself, as banks, where we are depositing and building trust. Sometimes we deposit it and sometimes we take it out. Each of our relationships has a trust balance and some are healthier than others. The key here is that you try to keep your accounts, your healthy relationships at all times find a point where everyone wins. You have to keep in mind what you want, it' s clear, but you also have to keep in mind what others want. And at that point you will be able to reach an agreement that is satisfactory to all. And if there' s no possible deal, we' ll all see each other next time, but at least we don' t lose confidence in each other.

19:48 We have been honest and could not be We keep that trust intact, that trust balance intact and in the future we can try again. That' s much better if there' s no agreement. It' s much better than there' s an agreement that' s not Windwin, as the English say, that' s not an agreement that we all win. Life is not a career. Life is not a football game, it is not a zero- sum game and it is not easy, but you have to understand the other and from there deposit confidence in the bank of the other side. Understand what the other person values and looks at. How you can fit the pieces so that the relationship or agreement works, for both parties put yourself in each other' s shoes, understand what the other wants and start building a solution. From there and the fifth habit is to communicate with empathy. Most people are worried about delivering their message to the world, that others understand their point of view and that' s it, but you' re going to get a lot more if, instead of doing that, you worry about listening to the other. Listen to understand many times they tell us something and we start judging, interpreting or even giving advice before we have understood the other person.

21:19 Don' t leak what the other person is telling you through your own idea of the world. Don' t take the initiative of the conversation. Listen, try to understand, don' t listen to be able to answer, but to understand to see repeating with your own words what the other person feels and what the other person says. You don' t have to agree, you don' t have to solve the problem, you just have to try to understand it. The sixth habit is to work with other people, cooperate to find more and better solutions, to be creative, to work with other people opens your mind. You realize that one plus one sometimes can be more than two, and it' s true that we' re all different.

22:22 But those differences are neither good nor bad. Each can bring different things to others. Why do we all have strengths that are different from each other? Think about the strengths that people around you have, the people you live with, for example, and you recognize those strengths. When the result is greater than the sum of its parts, then we have synergy and with synergy we can do very important things. Try to find alternative ways to a problem.

23:03 Go beyond your solution or my solution, search together for ideas that you would never have come to separately eye. This doesn' t mean putting a little bit of each other' s idea and making a frank Stein. That ' s another thing. What I' m saying is to come up with a better idea between the two of us. And for that you' re going to have to let creativity flow without a breaker. The rational part will come later to tell us what is possible and what you do not ask another person to moderate this process if necessary. And the last habit, the seventh is to sharpen the axe, to take care of ourselves that we are our priority, without feeling guilty, because no one can give of a jug that is empty and no one can cut a tree without having the sharp axe.

24:02 You' re never so busy as to be able to take a little time each day for yourself every day, because that' s what' s really going to make it possible, that you can do everything else all the other six habits I' ve been talking about. You have to have a routine to stay healthy both physically and mentally, as well as emotionally as spiritually. Four areas, not just one. All four are important. Exercise is not enough. This goes a lot further. You have to exercise, take care of what you eat, rest, but you also have to read, you have to write, you have to learn, you have to study, maybe you have to meditate or you have to pray, you have to go out to nature, you have to cultivate relationships with people, which is important to you eye. You don' t have to do everything, but at least you have to do something to make you better. In each of the four areas. Remember physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, but for it to happen, so you can do it, you have to plan it.

25:15 You have to put it on your schedule, that sharpening the axe is one more important task, even if it' s ten minutes, but do it so you already know it to become a more effective person. Take responsibility for your own happiness, define your purpose, your vision, plan your time to take care of the most important tasks and not just the urgent ones. Think with a mentality of abundance, not scarcity, Listen to others with empathy, power, creativity, working with other people and take time every day for yourself, which is what will allow you. As I say, move on.

26:00 If you liked this episode, please give it to me. Share on social media or visit three ww ideas to live better as there you can subscribe and download for free a copy of my latest book, Seven Steps to a Purposeful Life. And if you want to learn much more, if you want to train in personal development with the best experts, take a look at the free mastre of the personal development master' s online ipp or download the free ibu of twenty- five habits for economic abundance. I leave you the link to both things and to my books also in the notes of the episode and without further saying goodbye. Thank you very much. As always and until the next of the are of regret of au everything, of everything