Hábitos para ser más efectivo

WEBVTT

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Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for
a better life. I am Eugenio fencer

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Ruiz, reader, hard- working
and lover of personal development. Today I

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want to tell you what I learned
in the course seven habits of highly effective

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people. Before starting, as always, remind yourself that you have at your

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disposal a compilation of the most relevant
ideas about personal development. In my four

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books you know them free, healthy
and happy. Thirty- one days to

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improve your life, minimalism for normal
people and seven habits for a purposeful life.

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Also remind you that if you want
to train in personal development in depth,

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what has worked for me is the
master' s degree in personal development,

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on line, that of o and
PPE of Institute of Positive Thought.

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You know I think it' s
the best training in this field. And

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if you have decided to change your
life, but are not yet ready to

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do a master' s degree,
I recommend that you download the ebook for

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free twenty- five habits for economic
abundance, a system with which you are

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going to improve your relationship with money
and thus get to have the lifestyle you

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want. I leave you the link
to my four books, to the master

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class of the personal development master and
to Libook free in the notes of this

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episode a little lower than the play
button in that box. And now we

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' re going to talk about the
seven habits of highly effective people. These

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last few days I have had the
opportunity to attend the course of the seven

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habits of highly effective people, which
is a wonderful course and I liked it

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so much that today I want to
share with you the learnings that I have

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taken. I had already read the
book, I had already commented on it

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in this podcast. Also, you
can look for the episode on your platform,

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but I have to admit that the
course takes you to another level of

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understanding about those seven principles, if
those seven habits Stephen proposed covid The first

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thing to say is that it'
s not the same. Be efficient than

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be effective. To be efficient is
to do what others say to you without

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considering anything else. Being effective is
doing things that help you get what you

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want over and over again. That
is why the first recommendation is that we

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must be effective. You don'
t have to be efficient. Effective people

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come out of the hamster wheel where
most people are stuck because they ask questions,

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ask the right questions. The first
thing this type of people does is

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rethink their paradigms. Paradigms are the
glasses we all wear to see life.

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So everything starts from within oneself,
from the roots of who we are.

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We' re like trees. If
our roots aren' t strong enough,

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we' re going down. Our
tree falls. So the way to be

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effective is from the inside out,
not the other way around, although sometimes

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we can get confused. The idea
of the seven habits is to move from

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dependence on others to interdependence with others. I' ll explain this a little

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bit more. Young children are absolutely
dependent, but older children should not be.

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We have to take the wheel of
our life. We have to take

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the wheel of our decisions, take
responsibility for our lives. Then there are

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three habits that help us become more
independent, not interdependent, but independent,

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moving from dependence on others to independence. And these are we' ll explain

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them in depth later. These are
being proactive, having goals and knowing how

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to prioritize, but being totally independent
is not the ideal situation, either,

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simply because we all live and we
all work with other people. And so

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what this course or this book proposes
is to go, one step further,

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is to move from independence to interdependence. Interdependence is the highest degree of maturity

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we can attain. And that'
s what we' re going to do

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with three other habits, which is
basically think about how we can win each

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situation, understand each other, and
look for synergies. And you' ll

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wonder. You' ve said three
habits to move from dependence to independence and

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then another three to move from independence
to interdependence. But one is missing,

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right, because it' s seven
habits, so one is missing because,

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of course, all this way we
won' t be able to do.

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If we do not stay physically,
mentally, and spiritually healthy, nothing exists,

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nothing we can do if we lose
health. Therefore, the last of

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the habits we will see later is
what the author calls sharpening the axe to

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give that shift from dependence to interdependence. We need to change the glasses we

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see the world with, change the
mental map from which we operate, change

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as we see the world. In
short, we all have different perspectives,

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based on what we learned as children, based on our experiences and based on

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the society and the environment in which
we live. And that' s normal.

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Everyone operates like that. The problem
is that that mental map influences how

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we think and how we act,
so if that mental map, if that

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paradigm is not the best, it
will negatively affect our whole life. It

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will affect the results we get,
because the results come after the actions and

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those results will reinforce our way of
seeing the world. Our paradigm creating a

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vicious circle. That circle can be
vicious or virtuous If we are getting the

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results we want, then we strengthen
a paradigm that leads us to achieve them.

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Virtuous circle. If we are not
achieving the results we want, our

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results will reinforce the paradigm that leads
us to achieve those bad results. Circle

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vicens clear, then this leads us
to another concept. How we know that

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we are on the right mental map, that we are in the right paradigm,

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because we get the results we want. If you' re not getting

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the results you want in your life, you' re not on the right

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mental map for yourself and you have
to change that mental map before you change

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the things you do, because the
changes go from the inside, out?

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Not from outside to inside? So
this whole course is based on the fact

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that there are seven habits that will
allow us to move from dependence to independence

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and then to interdependence, which is
the highest step within our personal maturity.

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And it doesn' t matter why. What the instructors say is don'

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t think about why that change occurs. These are a series of principles that,

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if applied, will make us progress
in life. These principles are not

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values. Values are personal. I' ve told you so many times.

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You may agree with them or you
may disagree, but the principles are not

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opposable and these seven habits are principles. They are indisputable, as the law

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of gravity can be. So I
don' t get involved anymore. Let

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' s move on to those seven
habits, one by one. The first

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of those habits is to be proactive, to take the wheel of your life,

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which is the basis of everything else. It' s essential. You

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have to understand that you are responsible
for your own happiness or your own unhappiness,

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and you cannot blame others. You
can' t even blame the circumstances

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for the things that happen to you. So stop adopting the victim role,

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stop being reactive, because that'
s not good. That makes you lose

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control and makes you feel like you' re a ship in the middle of

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the sea, no sails, no
motor, you' re at the mercy

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of circumstances. Instead, if you
take control of your life, you know

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you can' t change what happens, but you can change your attitude towards

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what happens. We cannot change reality, but we can decide what our response

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to what happens is going to be. So, to do this, the

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first thing you need to do is
pause between the stimulus, that is,

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what happens around you and your response. You don' t have to react

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immediately to everything that happens around you. It is at that pause that you

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discover your ability to choose the answer
you want to give to that situation.

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You have to understand what the things
are that shoot you. They can be

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your children, they can be your
boss whatever it is and they can know

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how you respond to those triggers and
how you would like to respond then,

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when that situation comes to you in
the future. Recognise her breathes to calm

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you down. Count to three or
ten. If necessary and remember how you

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would like to respond. You have
to give your brain time to respond from

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the rational, not from the reptilian
point of view, from the emotional point

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of view. And now take a
look at your schedule and change what you

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have to do for what you choose
to do, because the difference is abysmal.

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When we' re in control,
when we choose what we' re

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going to do, stress disappears what
you have on your homework list. You

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have to have consciously chosen him and
with that simple change of verb you,

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I have to do something. Oh, I want to do something. We

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' re already having a positive impact
on the chemistry of our brain, so

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change the reactive language I have to
for the proactive, because no one has

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to do anything in life. And
another key practice to adopt this habit of

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being proactive is to focus on your
circle of influence. Don' t waste

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your energy on things you can'
t control, like that jam in front

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of you. When you do this, automatically, your circle of influence expands,

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because self- confidence grows. Don' t spend your time on things

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you can' t control, just
those that you can control. The second

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habit of the seven is to have
a purpose, a vision for your whole

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life. Ask yourself who you want
to be? Ask yourself what legacy you

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want to leave in this world when
you leave and don' t let life

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take you wherever she wants, don' t get carried away by the current.

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You have to define a mission,
you have to define a purpose and

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you have to live on it.
You have to choose to live on him.

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We should all have a phrase that
defines what our purpose is, what

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our mission is, because it all
starts with a thought before we move on

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to the physical world, this table, this microphone, everything was in someone

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' s head. Someone thought about
them, someone designed them. All material

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is created first in the immaterial,
and that is why you need to write

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that phrase that summarizes your purpose,
your mission in life. Building your life

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without that phrase is like building a
house without plans. How you get to

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that phrase. It' s not
about inventing it, it' s about

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detecting it Think about the good things
that that person you admire had. Think

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of the talents you have in your
natural gifts. Think about the things you

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value the most, think about the
things you deserve to be alive for.

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Also think about what you' d
like your loved ones to say at your

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funeral. And with all that material, create that phrase that defines your purpose,

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that defines your mission in life and
then prints it, make paper posters

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at home. With her you have
to be constantly seeing her. The third

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habit. The third habit is to
prioritize using your time to do what is

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most important to you, for that
mission, for that purpose. We usually

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devote our time to things that are
most urgent and not to things that are

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most important. We do dramas,
crises, but not the important thing.

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Then you have to focus on your
priorities. You have to eliminate what'

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s not important. Start saying you
don' t have to have your big

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tasks, your big clear rocks,
because if you don' t have them,

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the little things of the day are
going to fill your days and you

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' re never going to get your
purpose, you' re going to be

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busy, yeah, I guarantee you, but you' re not going to

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get anywhere. There are things that
are urgent and important, like your health.

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They' re things that don'
t admit discussion. You have to

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do it. Yes or yes,
there is crisis. Things happen, you

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have to take care of them,
but you can' t always be doing

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things that are urgent and important.
It' s not healthy. It'

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s not healthy. Then we have
things that seem urgent, but they are

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not important. For example, when
someone asks you for something that' s

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in a hurry or when you go
to a meeting that you shouldn' t

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have gone to this kind of task, you' ve been stressed out,

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you' re drained of energy,
but they don' t contribute anything to

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your purpose. I invite you to
reduce the time you spend doing this kind

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of task, but the thing can
get even worse. It can be even

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worse, because there are tasks we
do that are neither important nor urgent.

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We sit and watch TV, surf
social networks, gossip in the coffee machine

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with the partner about another partner,
get in zombie mode and do it most

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of the time to make up for
all those absurd things that we do throughout

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the day that drain our energy and
that don' t give us anything.

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These tasks, which are neither important
nor urgent, are waste of time,

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so I invite you to reduce even
more than before the time you spend doing

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these things. So the ideal quadrant, the ideal situation is to do throughout

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the day important things that are not
urgent, important tasks to fulfill your goals,

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your well- being, your family, plan for the future, without

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haste, without burden, without obligation, because in the end the turtle always

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wins the hare. Like in that
famous fable. You should spend at least

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fifty percent of your day doing important
things that aren' t urgent. So

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be proactive and structure your agenda around
this idea. There will be important,

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not urgent things that you will like
more less. But do them, do

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them before they become important and also
urgent, because that' s when the

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stress comes the firefighters think. A
firefighter is not putting out fire all day,

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he is training for when that urgent
moment arrives, to get ready and

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to be prepared truth. So think
of all those roles you have in life

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as an entrepreneur, as a father, as a mother, as President of

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your community, no matter what it
is and think about what is the thing

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or the two most important things you
have to do during the coming week and

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then put them on your agenda,
because, eye, you need an agenda

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and you need to sort it every
week in a quiet place, in silence

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and prioritizing those things that bring you
closer to your mission and then, with

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the time you get free, you' re settling everything else in the gaps

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that you have left, not the
other way around, because if you put

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everything else in the agenda from the
beginning, you' re not going to

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have space for the big rocks,
for those things that really bring you closer

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to your mission. When we have
succeeded in introducing these three habits into our

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lives, we have attained independence,
ceased to be dependent, and taken the

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reins of our lives. Now let' s keep going up in that matrix

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that I explained to you at the
beginning. We are going to continue to

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rise towards interdependence, because we already
know that independence is not necessarily the optimal

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State. We have to go towards
interdependence. The fourth habit is to always

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think from mutual benefit, to think
that all parties involved in anything will gain.

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The problem is that many times we
think from scarcity, we think that

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if you win, then I lose. Or if I lose, you win

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and life is abundant. There'
s more than enough for everyone. We

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have to approach our relationships whatever they
are with an abundance mentality. And for

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this the first practice is to think
of others and yourself, as banks,

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where we are depositing and building trust. Sometimes we deposit it and sometimes we

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take it out. Each of our
relationships has a trust balance and some are

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healthier than others. The key here
is that you try to keep your accounts,

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your healthy relationships at all times find
a point where everyone wins. You

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have to keep in mind what you
want, it' s clear, but

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you also have to keep in mind
what others want. And at that point

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you will be able to reach an
agreement that is satisfactory to all. And

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if there' s no possible deal, we' ll all see each other

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next time, but at least we
don' t lose confidence in each other.

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We have been honest and could not
be We keep that trust intact,

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that trust balance intact and in the
future we can try again. That'

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s much better if there' s
no agreement. It' s much better

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than there' s an agreement that' s not Windwin, as the English

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say, that' s not an
agreement that we all win. Life is

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not a career. Life is not
a football game, it is not a

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zero- sum game and it is
not easy, but you have to understand

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the other and from there deposit confidence
in the bank of the other side.

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Understand what the other person values and
looks at. How you can fit the

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pieces so that the relationship or agreement
works, for both parties put yourself in

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each other' s shoes, understand
what the other wants and start building a

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solution. From there and the fifth
habit is to communicate with empathy. Most

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people are worried about delivering their message
to the world, that others understand their

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point of view and that' s
it, but you' re going to

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get a lot more if, instead
of doing that, you worry about listening

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to the other. Listen to understand
many times they tell us something and we

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start judging, interpreting or even giving
advice before we have understood the other person.

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Don' t leak what the other
person is telling you through your own

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idea of the world. Don'
t take the initiative of the conversation.

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Listen, try to understand, don' t listen to be able to answer,

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but to understand to see repeating with
your own words what the other person

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feels and what the other person says. You don' t have to agree,

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you don' t have to solve
the problem, you just have to

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try to understand it. The sixth
habit is to work with other people,

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cooperate to find more and better solutions, to be creative, to work with

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other people opens your mind. You
realize that one plus one sometimes can be

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more than two, and it'
s true that we' re all different.

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But those differences are neither good nor
bad. Each can bring different things

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to others. Why do we all
have strengths that are different from each other?

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Think about the strengths that people around
you have, the people you live

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with, for example, and you
recognize those strengths. When the result is

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greater than the sum of its parts, then we have synergy and with synergy

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we can do very important things.
Try to find alternative ways to a problem.

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Go beyond your solution or my solution, search together for ideas that you

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would never have come to separately eye. This doesn' t mean putting a

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little bit of each other' s
idea and making a frank Stein. That

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' s another thing. What I' m saying is to come up with

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a better idea between the two of
us. And for that you' re

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going to have to let creativity flow
without a breaker. The rational part will

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come later to tell us what is
possible and what you do not ask another

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person to moderate this process if necessary. And the last habit, the seventh

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is to sharpen the axe, to
take care of ourselves that we are our

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priority, without feeling guilty, because
no one can give of a jug that

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is empty and no one can cut
a tree without having the sharp axe.

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You' re never so busy as
to be able to take a little time

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each day for yourself every day,
because that' s what' s really

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going to make it possible, that
you can do everything else all the other

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six habits I' ve been talking
about. You have to have a routine

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to stay healthy both physically and mentally, as well as emotionally as spiritually.

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Four areas, not just one.
All four are important. Exercise is not

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enough. This goes a lot further. You have to exercise, take care

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of what you eat, rest,
but you also have to read, you

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have to write, you have to
learn, you have to study, maybe

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you have to meditate or you have
to pray, you have to go out

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to nature, you have to cultivate
relationships with people, which is important to

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you eye. You don' t
have to do everything, but at least

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you have to do something to make
you better. In each of the four

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areas. Remember physical, mental,
emotional, and spiritual, but for it

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to happen, so you can do
it, you have to plan it.

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You have to put it on your
schedule, that sharpening the axe is one

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more important task, even if it' s ten minutes, but do it

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so you already know it to become
a more effective person. Take responsibility for

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your own happiness, define your purpose, your vision, plan your time to

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take care of the most important tasks
and not just the urgent ones. Think

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with a mentality of abundance, not
scarcity, Listen to others with empathy,

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power, creativity, working with other
people and take time every day for yourself,

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which is what will allow you.
As I say, move on.

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If you liked this episode, please
give it to me. Share on social

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00:26:03.160 --> 00:26:11.119
media or visit three ww ideas to
live better as there you can subscribe and

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00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:17.000
download for free a copy of my
latest book, Seven Steps to a Purposeful

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00:26:17.000 --> 00:26:22.440
Life. And if you want to
learn much more, if you want to

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00:26:22.559 --> 00:26:26.920
train in personal development with the best
experts, take a look at the free

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00:26:26.039 --> 00:26:33.839
mastre of the personal development master'
s online ipp or download the free ibu

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00:26:33.880 --> 00:26:37.480
of twenty- five habits for economic
abundance. I leave you the link to

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both things and to my books also
in the notes of the episode and without

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further saying goodbye. Thank you very
much. As always and until the next

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00:27:00.000 --> 00:27:18.039
of the are of regret of au
everything, of everything