El verdadero amor empieza por uno mismo

0:14 Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for a better life. I am Eugenio Palla, ruiz, reader, hard- working and lover of personal development. Today I want to talk to you about something that, right after health, is probably the most important thing in life, which is relationships. But before I start, I want to remind you that you have at your disposal a compilation of the best ideas and the best tips on personal development in my four own books. Free, healthy and happy. Thirty- one days to improve your life, minimalism for normal people and seven steps to a purposeful life. I leave your link link to each of them in the notes of the episode and also as always, as many of you have asked me how and where to train in personal development. I tell you what has worked for me, which is the personal development master' s degree online, from IPP' s Institute of Positive Thinking. You know, it' s the best training in this field. Without any doubt, the only one that covers depth, the six areas of life, self- knowledge, body and health, emotions, relationships, transcendence and money and professional career. So, if you want to take a look at your completely free master class. I' ll also link you in the episode description. Right under my books and now we' re going

1:46 to talk about relationships. How relationships are created. They often tell us to look for them, to insist almost that people have to be persecuted to engage with them, but this is wrong. The real magic is to concentrate on yourself, on giving others without waiting for them to return the favor. This is what' s really going to build a real relationship. It' s not about chasing someone with a lot of expectations. It' s about starting from love, and that' s love, because love is giving without expecting anything. In return, that' s how you start a good relationship.

2:35 At the end of what it is to have a relationship is not to find someone to complete you. That idea of the orange half, from my point of view, is absolutely wrong. It' s not about someone completing you because you, by yourself, are incomplete. It' s about having someone you can share how complete you are. And there are a lot of people who fall into the mistake of trying to love themselves through the love of others. They are people who think that if someone else loves them, then they can love themselves. And if no one else loves them, then they don ' t want themselves. And this is a tremendous mistake. There are many people who feel bad about themselves because they believe that no one loves them and that is not true. The bottom line is that they don' t love themselves and that' s why they don' t think anyone else can love them. And no matter how much love they show them. It' s never gonna be enough,' cause they' re always gonna think no one wants them. Truly, these people doubt that someone may love them because they actually know their own flaws and do not understand that there are people who really give love without expecting anything in return and if, by chance, one day they come to think or believe that someone loves them, then that' s when they start to worry about how long they can maintain that love. Then they start changing how they act. And when this happens, we have two

4:11 people who can end up lost in a relationship, who can end up weakening each other, instead of strengthening each other that in the end is what it is about, when you lose your essence, because what' s going to happen in your relationship is that it' s not going to go well. It' s not gonna be okay. Two people usually come together because they think they' re going to be happier together, but many times what happens is that they end up losing courage and probably to do that, because they were better alone, happier, happier and more filled with the desire to live. You can' t use a relationship to find out who you are.

4:54 You can' t use a relationship to find your purpose. This is something you' re only going to get working on yourself, regardless of whether or not you have a relationship. That' s why you shouldn' t start a relationship with someone until you' re sure who you are, because if you don' t know who you are, then the trouble is coming. And if you find out who you are, when you' re already in a relationship, the other person will think you' ve changed and you haven ' t really changed. What happens is you' ve found out who you really are and you were already in that relationship, then to find your essence, to find who you are. You have to give yourself your space, you have to prevent anyone else from influencing you, because otherwise, if they influence you, you end up being a version of what others expect from you instead of becoming your real one. What I' m trying to say is that the first person you have to connect with is yourself. You have to learn to love yourself, you have to learn to value yourself, you have to learn to respect yourself. And once you understand who you really are and love you, you value yourself and respect yourself, then you can begin to appreciate the value of others or the value that has to enter into a relationship

6:25 with another person. Actually, you can' t really love someone if you don' t love yourself. So it' s important that you remember that you have to stay focused on IT. You have to pay attention to what you are, what you do, what you have. He doesn' t pay attention to what happens to others. Do not pay attention to what happens to the other person you are in a relationship with, because, in the end, what affects you is not the actions of others. We have said this many times in the podcast. What matters is how you react to external events or to the things that others do to you. So, if you ' re able to keep that focus on yourself, if you' re able to keep your balance regardless of the things your partner does or the things people around you do, then everything' s fine, because nothing can disturb you.

7:23 Whatever happens. You' re imperturbable. That is what we must aspire to be undisturbed. So you know that. If you have to be a little selfish, it' s okay. The only way to really love your family, your partner, your friends. The only way to be in a relationship is to love yourself more than anyone. Without that love for yourself, without that respect for yourself, there is no basis for anything else, because no one can give of a jug that is empty. If you liked this episode please Alia, I like to share social networks or visit w ideas to live better as there you can subscribe and download for free a copy of my latest book, Seven steps for a life with purpose. And if you want to learn much more, if you want to train a personal development with the best experts. Check out the free master' s degree in personal development online from ipp TE. I leave your link in the episode notes and just say goodbye. Thank you very much. As always and until the next two two,

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