El verdadero amor empieza por uno mismo

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Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for
a better life. I am Eugenio Palla,

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ruiz, reader, hard- working
and lover of personal development. Today

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I want to talk to you about
something that, right after health, is

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probably the most important thing in life, which is relationships. But before I

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start, I want to remind you
that you have at your disposal a compilation

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of the best ideas and the best
tips on personal development in my four own

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books. Free, healthy and happy. Thirty- one days to improve your

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life, minimalism for normal people and
seven steps to a purposeful life. I

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leave your link link to each of
them in the notes of the episode and

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also as always, as many of
you have asked me how and where to

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train in personal development. I tell
you what has worked for me, which

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is the personal development master' s
degree online, from IPP' s Institute

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of Positive Thinking. You know,
it' s the best training in this

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field. Without any doubt, the
only one that covers depth, the six

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areas of life, self- knowledge, body and health, emotions, relationships,

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transcendence and money and professional career.
So, if you want to take

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a look at your completely free master
class. I' ll also link you

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in the episode description. Right under
my books and now we' re going

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to talk about relationships. How relationships
are created. They often tell us to

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look for them, to insist almost
that people have to be persecuted to engage

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with them, but this is wrong. The real magic is to concentrate on

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yourself, on giving others without waiting
for them to return the favor. This

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is what' s really going to
build a real relationship. It' s

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not about chasing someone with a lot
of expectations. It' s about starting

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from love, and that' s
love, because love is giving without expecting

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anything. In return, that'
s how you start a good relationship.

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At the end of what it is
to have a relationship is not to find

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someone to complete you. That idea
of the orange half, from my point

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of view, is absolutely wrong.
It' s not about someone completing you

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because you, by yourself, are
incomplete. It' s about having someone

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you can share how complete you are. And there are a lot of people

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who fall into the mistake of trying
to love themselves through the love of others.

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They are people who think that if
someone else loves them, then they

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can love themselves. And if no
one else loves them, then they don

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' t want themselves. And this
is a tremendous mistake. There are many

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people who feel bad about themselves because
they believe that no one loves them and

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that is not true. The bottom
line is that they don' t love

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themselves and that' s why they
don' t think anyone else can love

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them. And no matter how much
love they show them. It' s

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never gonna be enough,' cause
they' re always gonna think no one

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wants them. Truly, these people
doubt that someone may love them because they

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actually know their own flaws and do
not understand that there are people who really

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give love without expecting anything in return
and if, by chance, one day

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they come to think or believe that
someone loves them, then that' s

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when they start to worry about how
long they can maintain that love. Then

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they start changing how they act.
And when this happens, we have two

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people who can end up lost in
a relationship, who can end up weakening

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each other, instead of strengthening each
other that in the end is what it

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is about, when you lose your
essence, because what' s going to

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happen in your relationship is that it' s not going to go well.

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It' s not gonna be okay. Two people usually come together because they

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think they' re going to be
happier together, but many times what happens

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is that they end up losing courage
and probably to do that, because they

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were better alone, happier, happier
and more filled with the desire to live.

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You can' t use a relationship
to find out who you are.

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You can' t use a relationship
to find your purpose. This is something

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you' re only going to get
working on yourself, regardless of whether or

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not you have a relationship. That' s why you shouldn' t start

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a relationship with someone until you'
re sure who you are, because if

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you don' t know who you
are, then the trouble is coming.

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And if you find out who you
are, when you' re already in

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a relationship, the other person will
think you' ve changed and you haven

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' t really changed. What happens
is you' ve found out who you

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really are and you were already in
that relationship, then to find your essence,

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to find who you are. You
have to give yourself your space,

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you have to prevent anyone else from
influencing you, because otherwise, if they

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influence you, you end up being
a version of what others expect from you

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instead of becoming your real one.
What I' m trying to say is

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that the first person you have to
connect with is yourself. You have to

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learn to love yourself, you have
to learn to value yourself, you have

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to learn to respect yourself. And
once you understand who you really are and

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love you, you value yourself and
respect yourself, then you can begin to

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appreciate the value of others or the
value that has to enter into a relationship

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with another person. Actually, you
can' t really love someone if you

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don' t love yourself. So
it' s important that you remember that

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you have to stay focused on IT. You have to pay attention to what

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you are, what you do,
what you have. He doesn' t

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pay attention to what happens to others. Do not pay attention to what happens

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to the other person you are in
a relationship with, because, in the

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end, what affects you is not
the actions of others. We have said

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this many times in the podcast.
What matters is how you react to external

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events or to the things that others
do to you. So, if you

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' re able to keep that focus
on yourself, if you' re able

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to keep your balance regardless of the
things your partner does or the things people

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around you do, then everything'
s fine, because nothing can disturb you.

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Whatever happens. You' re imperturbable. That is what we must aspire

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to be undisturbed. So you know
that. If you have to be a

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little selfish, it' s okay. The only way to really love your

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family, your partner, your friends. The only way to be in a

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relationship is to love yourself more than
anyone. Without that love for yourself,

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without that respect for yourself, there
is no basis for anything else, because

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no one can give of a jug
that is empty. If you liked this

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episode please Alia, I like to
share social networks or visit w ideas to

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live better as there you can subscribe
and download for free a copy of my

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latest book, Seven steps for a
life with purpose. And if you want

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to learn much more, if you
want to train a personal development with the

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best experts. Check out the free
master' s degree in personal development online

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from ipp TE. I leave your
link in the episode notes and just say

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goodbye. Thank you very much.
As always and until the next two two,

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one thousand two, two, two, two, two, up to

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two three, two three Fours