Estar presente, no ser perfecto

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Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for
a better life. I am Eugenio Palla

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ruiz, reader, hardworking, writer
and lover of personal development. In today

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' s episode we' re going
to talk about the present over perfect book

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which is an English expression that would
mean something like being present. Not to

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be perfect. A book written by
Shauna Nickist. Despite having a successful career,

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despite having a family that loved her
very much, the author of this

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book felt exhausted, she felt disconnected
from everything and everyone. Her day-

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to- day life was a whirlwind
of work responsibilities, social commitments, family

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obligations that had her permanently occupied.
Then, to me less the idea that

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time passed, her health began to
resent herself had headaches, suffered insomnia and

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a constant feeling of fatigue accompanied her
day and night. But, in addition

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to those physical symptoms, I also
felt a deep dissatisfaction. It is true

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that he loved his family, it
is true that he valued his work,

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but he realized that he was living
in a frantic way, that he had

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no space for reflection, that he
had no time even to rest. He

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felt that he could not enjoy the
moments with his loved ones, because his

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mind was always busy with the next
task or with the next problem or with

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the next concern, so even emotional
ties with his family began to weaken.

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She felt disconnected from herself as if
she had lost sight of who she really

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was and what made her happy.
But one day he had a moment of

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clarity. She was alone in her
office, surrounded by screens, with a

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dozen unanswered emails and realized she was
pursuing an idea of unattainable perfection. He

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realized that he was trying to meet
external expectations and that he was not taking

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into account either his own needs or
his own desires. And at that moment

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he realized that he needed a change
in his life, a major change.

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He decided to stop seeking perfection and
focus on the three things that really matter,

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peace, connection with others and being
present. One of the most important

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changes he made and tells us in
the book, is that he learned to

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say no, after years of saying
yes to everything and everyone. She understood

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that this habit had exhausted her,
had brought her to the brink of physical

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collapse and emotional collapse, because every
time she accepted a task or a commitment,

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her energy was a little more exhausted, leaving her with no time,

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no space also to attend to her
own needs. So, the first thing

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he did is start taking control and
putting clear boundaries, and he did it

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through the word no. Not the
word. It became a tool and that

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tool allowed him to regain his life. He started saying no to protect the

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things he really cared about. So, instead of accepting each invitation, he

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began to think about whether those activities
really aligned with his priorities were aligned with

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his values and, at first,
obviously, doing this was extremely difficult for

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him in Russia. He felt guilty
and also felt why not to say it,

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afraid to disappoint others. But in
time it was discovered that saying that

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no, in reality it is not
an act of selfishness, but a form

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of self- care. So that
new ability to say no, to set

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limits, gave him a sense of
freedom that he had never experienced before.

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By saying no to things that were
not essential, he had room in his

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life for what really mattered to his
well- being. He began to spend

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time, to meditate, to walk
through nature, to be silent with himself,

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and those moments of calm were precisely
those that allowed him to reconnect with

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his thoughts, to reconnect with his
emotions, and thus he achieved a clarity

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that he had not had in years. He began to value a simpler way

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of life, where it wasn'
t about doing more, It was about

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doing what really mattered in our modern
society. There are many people who are

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at that point. There are many
people who seek to fill the void with

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noise with constant activity, either with
social networks, whether working many hours or

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with that entertainment, endlessly offered by
series platforms, etcetera, etcetera. This

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frenzy actually serves for one thing,
it serves to confront us or to avoid.

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Face us with our own thoughts,
with our own emotions. They create

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an illusion of productivity that we are
being productive, but we are actually avoiding

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confronting our thoughts and emotions. And
the cure to this, true healing,

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is in silence. It is in
silence that one has the opportunity to confront

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his thoughts and his deepest emotions,
to understand them, to process them.

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And yet, a lot of people
are afraid of silence, it seems to

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panic. Silence is a place that
has no panic at all. Silence is

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a safe place, it is a
place of clarity, it is a refuge

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where the mind can rest, where
we can reorganize. Silence allows us to

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be more present, allows us to
connect more with the moment, helps us

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to appreciate the pleasure of the little
things that often pass us unnoticed. In

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the middle of all that hustle and
bustle around us. The next thing the

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author of the book did is change
her professional career. In a world full

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of social expectations, professional family members, it is very easy to fall into

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predefined roles. It' s very
easy to forget who you really are and

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forget what it is that you truly
love and that' s to stop being

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the owner or owner of your life. The book encourages us to make conscious

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decisions that align with your true.
Me. The book encourages us to enter

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into a process of self- discovery
in which we allow ourselves to explore our

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passions, our interests, our values, without the filter of the expectations of

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others. And once again, this
requires courage. This means challenging the rules,

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it means breaking with traditions, but
it is an absolutely essential step to

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start living better, because many times
those roles that we adopt are a construction

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of what others think you should be
and are based on their own experiences,

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on their stens, their own fears, on their own expectations. And when

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you get rid of those molds of
others, then you' re opening the

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door to a more authentic life.
What happens is that it is not easy

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to discover what you really love to
discover who you really are, it takes

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time, it requires reflection and,
above all, it requires an introspection of

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which very few people are capable today. It' s a deep introspection in

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which you' re going to ask
yourself what makes you feel alive, what

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it is you' re passionate about, what values you have, what things

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are unnegotiable to you, and it' s a process of trial and error

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of trying things and learning from each
of those things. As you get to

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know yourself better, you begin to
build a life that reflects your essence,

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rather than a life that is shaped
by external expectations. And the end result

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is a life consistent with your purpose. The end result is to feel more

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connected to yourself and the world around
you. It is, in short,

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to live in a more authentic way. But of course, in a world

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where the accumulation of material goods and
external achievements are often considered the only indicators

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of success, it is very easy
to fall into the trap of measuring our

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worth only through those parameters, and
that way of thinking is a problem because

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it can lead to an endless cycle
of dissatisfaction, it can lead us to

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exhaustion simply because there will always be
something more to achieve or there will always

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be something more expensive to buy.
Therefore, instead of trying to accumulate goods

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or instead of trying to accumulate achievements, accumulate well- being, accumulate relationships

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and, above all, accumulate peace, because these elements, even if intangible,

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are the ones that will have a
real impact on your quality of life

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and eye. Leaving aside social expectations
does not mean isolating yourself, it does

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not mean rejecting others. It means
learning to balance external influences with your own

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desires and needs. It means recognizing
that your well- being and happiness are

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at least as important as the opinions
of others. And another big problem that

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the author left behind in this change
that the book tells us is perfectionism.

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Sometimes we want everything to be perfect. We feel pressure to meet standards that

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are unattainable, and this happened to
the author for Christmas. She felt overcome

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by the need to create parties that
were perfect. The ornaments must be impeccable,

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the food must be perfect, the
gifts must also be wrapped in the

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preferred way. And suddenly he realized
that that desire for perfection was making him

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miss the real, messy beauty his
life had. That those imperfect moments we

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all have are the ones that really
matter. It is the true spirit of

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the Christmas holidays or of any other
occasion that accepts imperfection is the message.

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The real beauty is to be present, to connect with those around you.

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When you seek perfection, what you
do is isolate yourself. You stay away

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from the real thing, you stay
away from the others. And wealth is

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in imperfection at real times. And
that doesn' t mean settling for mediocrity.

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It means recognizing that life is a
set of messy moments that need not

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be perfect to be valuable. And
another thing the author left behind is envy.

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This emotion is normal, it'
s common, it' s human,

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but it can also be a trap. Envy, envy, and comparison

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would get into the same sack.
They' re destructive, they erode your

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self- esteem, they generate constant
dissatisfaction with what you have and what you

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are You shouldn' t look longing
for other people' s lives, because

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I' m sure they also have
their problems. The thing is, you

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don' t see them. The
book recommends that we use envy as an

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indicator to discover what our true desires
are, what our true needs are,

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because envy is a sign that is
telling you what areas of your life need

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attention, what areas of your life
need change. For example, if you

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are envious of someone who has a
perfect balance between work and personal life,

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that is an indicator that reflects your
own desire to slow down and spend more

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time with your loved ones. And
seen that way, envy becomes a tool

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that drives you to adjust your life
to be more consistent with your own priorities,

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so learn to rejoice in the good
things that happen to others, without

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feeling diminished by them. Another important
idea discovered by the author is to accept

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the idea of wasting time amidst the
frantic rhythm of daily responsibilities. We often

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forget how important it is to have
fun engages in activities that are seemingly unproductive

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or foolish. Colorea dance plays,
because that will not only bring you happiness,

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but it will also bring you more
balance and will bring you greater well

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- being. Doing these silly things
a priori allows us to disconnect from daily

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worries. They are a respite for
the mind and for the spirit Coloring for

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example, it can be a form
of meditation because your mind frees itself and

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concentrates on the present moment or dance. Dancing allows you to express yourself physically,

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allow you to release accumulated tensions and
allows you to generate endorphins that will

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improve your mood. And the same
thing happens. With Playing with children,

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for example, it brings us back
to a state of innocence, of creativity.

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It reminds us how important it is
to enjoy the here and now without

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worries. And another change he introduced
is order. Clearing your physical spaces and

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your mental spaces is a fundamental part
of that process of change, because when

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you eliminate disorder, you can focus
on what really matters. So the author

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of the book, what she did
was preserve only those objects that she actually

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used or that she really loved.
And that minimalist approach not only made his

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home more orderly or more functional,
but also cleared his mind, which is

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the key to minimalism. Cleaning the
physical environment translates into a mental clarity that

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allows you to focus on making important
decisions. And minimalism is not only physical,

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it also applies to your mind to
practice full attention, meditation. All

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that helps you clear your mind of
unnecessary thoughts, worries, and that leads

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you to live more clearly. So
you know if you lead a seemingly successful

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life on paper. But you don' t feel comfortable, you don'

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t feel happy. Try making the
same changes Shawn Nickis made that he tells

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us in this book learns to hate
your time and your energy, to take

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refuge in silence to heal your mind
pose a professional change towards your true purpose,

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even if that means leaving behind the
expectations of others. Forget about perfectionism,

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accept imperfection. Use your envy to
find out what' s missing in

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your life. Disconnect by doing seemingly
unproductive activities, such as coloring or playing,

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and clear your home and mind by
practicing minimalism and full attention. And

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now, before saying goodbye, let
me remind you that you have at your

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disposal a compilation of the best ideas
about personal development, told in a very

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practical way, as I always try
to do in these episodes in my four

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own books. The titles are free, healthy and happy thirty- one days

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to improve your life minimalism for normal
people and seven steps for a purposeful life.

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You already know that you have them
available on Amazon and that I leave

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you dream link in the notes of
the episode and, by the way,

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this week I have something very exciting
to share with you. I have launched

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a new coaching service that is designed
to help you find your purpose and start

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transforming your life as your purpose coach. What I want to do is to

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guide you step by step so that
you can find that purpose and so that

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you can align your professional life with
your talents and your passions, which is

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the least we can conform to.
You have all the information about this new

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00:17:36.559 --> 00:17:41.079
service in the link I leave you
in the episode description. You can now

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book your free 30- minute session
with me and start the road to the

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00:17:45.680 --> 00:17:51.119
future that you really want and deserve. And if you liked the episode,

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00:17:51.599 --> 00:17:56.440
please subscribe to the channel share it
on social networks or visit three www ideas

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to live better com where you can
download a free copy of my latest book

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00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:08.079
and just say goodbye. Thank you
very much, as always and until the next