El arte de la Felicidad

WEBVTT

1
00:00:08.039 --> 00:00:13.000
Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for
a better life. I am Eugenio Palla,

2
00:00:13.320 --> 00:00:18.120
ruiz, reader, hard- working
and lover of personal development. In

3
00:00:18.160 --> 00:00:21.760
today' s episode we' re
going to talk about the book The Art

4
00:00:21.760 --> 00:00:30.239
of Happiness. Written. Nothing but
Lalai Lama. Surely you agree that the

5
00:00:30.280 --> 00:00:35.119
purpose in life is the pursuit of
happiness, the most important purpose. Then,

6
00:00:35.200 --> 00:00:38.960
each one has his own and,
according to the Dalai Lama, to

7
00:00:39.000 --> 00:00:45.039
be happy one learns, but it
is necessary to train our mind. The

8
00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:50.679
external events, the things that happen
to us every day affect our happiness in

9
00:00:50.679 --> 00:00:55.079
the short term, for better or
for worse. But our line of happiness

10
00:00:55.520 --> 00:01:00.159
tends to return to its usual level. Soon after each event. For example,

11
00:01:00.439 --> 00:01:06.000
when you buy a car, that
gives you a peak of happiness that

12
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:11.000
usually disappears relatively quickly. The same
applies to people facing, for example,

13
00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:15.560
a loss. The normal thing is
that they gradually recover their previous happiness level

14
00:01:15.599 --> 00:01:23.920
after a period we call mourning or
grief. If you think about it,

15
00:01:23.280 --> 00:01:30.079
almost nothing forever affects our levels of
happiness. But beyond external events, beyond

16
00:01:30.120 --> 00:01:38.239
what happens to us is our mind, our state of mind. It affects

17
00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:44.000
very much the way we perceive the
world when we are angry or when we

18
00:01:44.040 --> 00:01:47.840
are in a bad mood. Everyone
bothers us, even the people closest to

19
00:01:47.920 --> 00:01:53.560
our family, the people we love
the most. The main thesis presented to

20
00:01:53.599 --> 00:02:00.680
us by the Delai Lama in his
book is that it is possible to train

21
00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:07.680
our mind to cultivate positive mental states
and eliminate negative mental states. It'

22
00:02:07.760 --> 00:02:14.199
s a slow process, it'
s a gradual process, but in the

23
00:02:14.319 --> 00:02:19.439
end you get the necessary calm to
live happily, whatever the external situation you

24
00:02:19.439 --> 00:02:25.520
' re facing, because external circumstances
can' t generate happiness or lasting unhappiness.

25
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:31.039
But the proper or inadequate state of
mind does, and that is a

26
00:02:31.360 --> 00:02:38.479
very important difference. And what is
that proper state of mind to live happily

27
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:45.159
ever after. The Dalai Lama calls
it compassion. Compassion is a state of

28
00:02:45.199 --> 00:02:50.520
mind in which there is no aggression, in which we wish that no other

29
00:02:50.599 --> 00:02:55.159
living being should suffer. It is
a state of mind in which you seek

30
00:02:55.719 --> 00:03:01.680
to help, in which you have
affinity for all people, regardless of whether

31
00:03:01.680 --> 00:03:07.439
they are rich, poor, friends
of unknown enemies, you don' t

32
00:03:07.439 --> 00:03:12.960
care. So the key to being
compassionate is empathy, is being empathetic,

33
00:03:13.479 --> 00:03:19.919
trying to understand things from the perspective
of others, understanding what their story is,

34
00:03:20.080 --> 00:03:24.879
and focusing only on those aspects that
we have in common, those aspects

35
00:03:24.960 --> 00:03:30.280
that we share with those people,
what unites us instead of what separates us.

36
00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:38.280
Links with other people are, according
to the Dalai Lama, fundamental to

37
00:03:38.400 --> 00:03:44.759
living a better life. So take
advantage of every opportunity you have to connect

38
00:03:44.840 --> 00:03:51.560
with other people every day and connect
with other people start by respecting them and

39
00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:58.520
valuing them. Another essential ingredient for
happiness. According to the book, it

40
00:03:58.560 --> 00:04:05.599
is spirituality or spirituality neither is heritage
nor depends on any religion. The Dalai

41
00:04:05.680 --> 00:04:12.840
Lama clearly states in the book that
any religion gives us the opportunity to live

42
00:04:12.879 --> 00:04:17.360
a happier life. In fact,
it also defends the existence of a type

43
00:04:17.399 --> 00:04:23.519
of spirituality that remains outside of religious
beliefs, which is what it calls the

44
00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:30.959
basic spirituality, which is that spirituality
that is formed by human qualities, such

45
00:04:30.000 --> 00:04:34.920
as goodness, for example, And
those human qualities are accessible to both atheists

46
00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:41.879
and those who practice a religion,
to defend or to practice those values.

47
00:04:42.839 --> 00:04:46.319
You don' t need to go
to church, you don' t need

48
00:04:46.360 --> 00:04:51.439
to pray you can practice them at
any time throughout your day- to-

49
00:04:51.519 --> 00:04:54.680
day life or in the lama law. He also speaks a lot in this

50
00:04:54.720 --> 00:04:58.959
book of suffering and tells us that
suffering is something natural in life. N

51
00:04:59.079 --> 00:05:03.120
h s S. N n h. We often increase it unnecessarily, simply

52
00:05:03.920 --> 00:05:10.800
because we do not understand that it
is part of life and we strive to

53
00:05:10.839 --> 00:05:15.360
see ourselves as victims of a conspiracy, of a greater plan of someone.

54
00:05:15.680 --> 00:05:19.519
There is always some culprit to what
happens to us and suffering is inevitable.

55
00:05:20.920 --> 00:05:27.439
It' s like death. Then
trying to avoid or try to ignore something

56
00:05:27.480 --> 00:05:31.120
that is inevitable is completely absurd.
It' s a waste of time.

57
00:05:32.360 --> 00:05:39.519
What needs to be done is to
develop the right mental attitude to cope with

58
00:05:39.519 --> 00:05:45.879
suffering. If you feel like a
victim, if you start to spread blame

59
00:05:45.879 --> 00:05:50.920
among others, all you' re
going to do is magnify that suffering,

60
00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:58.199
is voluntarily get into a state of
distress, which is unnecessary. You shouldn

61
00:05:58.279 --> 00:06:03.160
' t be there. Another mistake
we often make, especially in the Western

62
00:06:03.199 --> 00:06:10.600
world, is to resist change,
to cling to those things we possess,

63
00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:15.680
and the Dalai Lama tells us that
change is also inevitable. It' s

64
00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:18.480
something constant in the world, it' s a universal force. Therefore,

65
00:06:18.879 --> 00:06:28.839
again, the same idea of resisting
change will only cause us suffering. Another

66
00:06:28.920 --> 00:06:33.759
source of unnecessary suffering, which is
also quite common, is clinging to the

67
00:06:33.839 --> 00:06:42.000
negative events that have happened to us. We cling to them and reproduce them

68
00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:47.759
mentally. Over and over we keep
in a loop thinking about those negative events

69
00:06:47.959 --> 00:06:53.680
of the past, and that only
lengthens our pain. Think, for example,

70
00:06:54.199 --> 00:06:59.000
of those people who divorce and continue
to feel anger toward their ex-

71
00:06:59.040 --> 00:07:01.759
partners, even if they go on
for years, even if decades go by

72
00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:06.319
after that divorce. What do they
gain from that nothing. They' re

73
00:07:06.399 --> 00:07:14.000
only hurting themselves. Negative mental states, such as anger or fear, are

74
00:07:14.000 --> 00:07:23.120
obstacles that prevent us from reaching happiness. They are poisons in the words of

75
00:07:23.120 --> 00:07:29.000
the Dalai Lama. Then, to
end them, we must cultivate only positive

76
00:07:29.199 --> 00:07:35.839
thoughts and behaviors. You cannot focus
your thoughts exclusively on negative things. You

77
00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:42.279
can' t overlook that you already
have a lot of positive things in your

78
00:07:42.319 --> 00:07:46.240
life today, as you hear this
think about everything positive, everything good you

79
00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:53.279
have in your life and if you
can' t find it, don'

80
00:07:53.399 --> 00:07:57.000
t pretend to do it overnight.
This is a process. That process of

81
00:07:57.079 --> 00:08:03.279
freeing oneself from negative thoughts and behavior
takes time. It' s a gradual

82
00:08:03.360 --> 00:08:05.560
thing, it' s a sustained
effort over time. In fact, the

83
00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:09.680
Dalai Lama, in a passage from
the book, tells us that it has

84
00:08:09.720 --> 00:08:16.040
taken him forty years of practice to
focus on good things and block those negative

85
00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:22.720
thoughts. We have to learn to
change perspective. That' s the key,

86
00:08:22.240 --> 00:08:28.279
changing perspective. Normally, everything that
we live, everything that happens to

87
00:08:28.319 --> 00:08:35.360
us or almost everything has negative aspects
and also has positive aspects. Everything that

88
00:08:35.399 --> 00:08:39.480
happens to us. We can see
it from different angles. Maybe that thing

89
00:08:39.559 --> 00:08:43.600
that happened to you that you think
is bad, maybe it' s a

90
00:08:43.639 --> 00:08:48.000
chance to make you stronger. So
what he invites us to give the name,

91
00:08:48.320 --> 00:08:54.960
is to find the purpose in that
suffering and move on. But that

92
00:08:54.039 --> 00:09:00.840
' s why it' s so
important to have a flexible mind, to

93
00:09:00.919 --> 00:09:03.480
have an adaptable mind, to be
able to make precisely that change of perspective.

94
00:09:03.440 --> 00:09:09.519
Flexible- minded people are neither incoherent
nor indecisive, even though they may

95
00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:13.919
sometimes seem so. They, like
the Dalai Lama, have reduced their value

96
00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:20.679
system to a few basic principles and
can apply them in a wide range of

97
00:09:20.720 --> 00:09:26.039
situations. What most people do is
not that. What most do is have

98
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:31.519
many very specific, very rigid rules
and therefore suffer, because it is impossible

99
00:09:31.519 --> 00:09:41.200
for those rules to always work in
all situations. But of all the negative

100
00:09:41.240 --> 00:09:45.879
mental states described in the book,
the two that distance us the most from

101
00:09:45.919 --> 00:09:52.759
reality, from happiness are IRA and
hatred. They are the ones that most

102
00:09:52.840 --> 00:09:58.639
destroy our peace of mind, they
are the ones that nullify our judgment,

103
00:09:58.879 --> 00:10:03.200
they are the ones that will push
us to r r ons things that will

104
00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.440
only worsen the situation. And not
only that. IRA and hatred also have

105
00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:11.480
negative effects on our health. They
increase, for example, the risk of

106
00:10:11.519 --> 00:10:20.960
heart disease. IRA and hatred are
fought with patience and tolerance, and these

107
00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:28.879
two attitudes are cultivated through meditation and
silence, because meditation and silence help us

108
00:10:28.960 --> 00:10:33.559
create a space between the stimulus that
has made us angry and our response.

109
00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:41.360
So the next time you see yourself
in a situation of anger or hatred,

110
00:10:41.559 --> 00:10:48.120
try to pause and analyze the situation
why you' re angry, what caused

111
00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:56.840
that anger. Try to analyze your
anger from logic, try to rationalize your

112
00:10:56.840 --> 00:11:01.320
anger. And the book also tells
us about fear, anxiety, worry,

113
00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:07.120
which are an epidemic in the 21st
century. But we have to know that

114
00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:13.919
they are normal feelings that we all
experience from time to time, they are

115
00:11:13.960 --> 00:11:16.039
natural responses to certain circumstances, to
certain events. The problem is when they

116
00:11:16.120 --> 00:11:22.159
become obsessive, when they become constant. That' s when we' re

117
00:11:22.159 --> 00:11:28.159
at risk. Then it can lead
to mental illness or even serious physical illness,

118
00:11:28.360 --> 00:11:33.559
so once again it changes your thoughts
or thoughts that generate anxiety for positive

119
00:11:33.600 --> 00:11:46.440
thoughts. That excess anxiety is usually
related to a lack of self- confidence.

120
00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:52.240
And the best antidote to that,
they tell us Danai Lama is to

121
00:11:52.240 --> 00:11:56.120
be honest with ourselves and others about
what our capabilities are and what our limitations

122
00:11:56.240 --> 00:12:03.000
are. We have to feel comfortable
with ourselves, we have to admit when

123
00:12:03.120 --> 00:12:09.000
we can' t or when we
don' t know how to do something,

124
00:12:09.000 --> 00:12:09.799
without that implying losing our self-
esteem. It' s okay,

125
00:12:09.879 --> 00:12:15.039
but there are people who have such
low self- esteem, who hate themselves,

126
00:12:15.519 --> 00:12:20.159
who feel unworthy and the idea of
the book. The idea that reinforces

127
00:12:20.200 --> 00:12:22.720
the book and that we have said
100 zero times in this podcast is that

128
00:12:22.840 --> 00:12:28.919
we all have unique talents, we
are all very good at doing at least

129
00:12:28.000 --> 00:12:33.240
one thing, at least one All
have, therefore, a potential that we

130
00:12:33.279 --> 00:12:37.399
can develop, that we can put
at the service of others and that can

131
00:12:37.399 --> 00:12:43.039
be our purpose. So you know
that we can only achieve happiness through our

132
00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:50.960
mental state, not through external circumstances. And that ideal state of mind consists

133
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:56.720
in cultivating compassion towards others, spirituality, a flexible mind that helps you to

134
00:12:56.759 --> 00:13:01.559
cope with pain and fight is or
suffering. When this happens, because it

135
00:13:01.559 --> 00:13:05.720
' s going to happen, you' re going to suffer, but at

136
00:13:05.960 --> 00:13:11.440
the same time don' t increase
it and necessarily ruminating what has happened to

137
00:13:13.000 --> 00:13:15.639
us, learn to change perspective,
learn to find the good in each situation.

138
00:13:16.240 --> 00:13:20.399
Rationalize anger, rationalize hatred and also, above all, combat your anxiety

139
00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:26.559
and fight your fear. If you
do all of the above and I know

140
00:13:26.600 --> 00:13:30.240
it' s not easy and once
again I repeat that it' s a

141
00:13:30.240 --> 00:13:33.840
gradual process. Like the Dalai Lama, you' ll be on the way

142
00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:39.120
to living a better life. And
now, before I say goodbye, let

143
00:13:39.200 --> 00:13:45.320
me announce that you have at your
disposal a compilation of the best ideas on

144
00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.679
personal development, told in a very
practical way in my four own books.

145
00:13:50.480 --> 00:13:52.799
They are free, healthy and happy. Thirty- one days to improve your

146
00:13:52.919 --> 00:13:58.080
life, minimalism for normal people and
seven steps to a purposeful life. You

147
00:13:58.679 --> 00:14:03.000
already know that you have them available
on Amazon and that I leave you their

148
00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:07.440
link in the notes of the episode. And if you liked the episode,

149
00:14:07.919 --> 00:14:15.159
please subscribe to the channel share it
on social networks or visit ideas to live

150
00:14:15.200 --> 00:14:22.159
better. You can download a copy
of my last book for free and I

151
00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:26.960
' ll just say goodbye. Thank
you very much, as always and until the next