Convertirse en optimistas realistas

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Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for
a better life. I am Eugenio Valla,

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ruiz, reader, hard- working
and lover of personal development. Today

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I want to talk about optimism,
the optimists and how we look at them.

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But before you start, let me
remind you that you have at your

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disposal a compilation of the most relevant
ideas and tips on personal development in my

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four books, Free, healthy and
happy. Thirty- one days to improve

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your life, minimalism for normal people
and seven steps towards a purposeful life.

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I leave your link to each of
them in the notes of the episode and

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also since many of you have asked
me how and where to train in personal

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development. I tell you that it
has worked for me that it is the

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master' s degree in personal development
online, from IPP Institute of Positive Thinking.

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You know the best training that exists
in this field, covering in depth

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the six areas of life, self- knowledge, body and health, emotions,

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relationships, transcendence and money and professional
career. If you want to take

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a look at your free mastre class, I' ll leave your link in

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the episode notes a little bit lower
next to my books and now we'

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ll talk about optimism. Optimists are
often put in the same sack as people

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who refuse to accept the things that
happen in life, refuse to accept the

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problems, refuse to accept the challenges. And it is not, because deep

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down there are two types of optimistic
people. There are the optimists who believe

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in magical thinking and there are the
realistic optimists. And what I' m

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proposing is that you look like the
realistic optimists. The optimists of magical thinking

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are not personally developed, they are
not the kind of people we should take

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as a model. But realistic optimists
do. The realistic optimist, let me

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explain. He' s a person
who doesn' t run away from reality.

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He is a person who accepts challenges
with confidence, takes steps to overcome

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those challenges, confronts them, and
eventually ends up transforming, prospering, or

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learning something and all that feeds his
self- esteem. That' s the

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realistic optimist, that' s the
good optimist. What distinguishes these realistic optimists

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from the magical optimists, the first
of which is that the realistic optimists have

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a purpose. You know how you
can identify your purpose We' ve talked

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about it many times in this podcast. In fact, you already know that

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you have the book that explains it
seven steps and that I' m giving

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away among swws ideas to live better
as well in case you haven' t

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stopped by yet, but I'
ll tell you again. The purpose is

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identified on the basis of three axes, what you are good at, what

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you enjoy doing and what other people
need. Then your purpose is in the

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middle of that triangle. Your purpose
is to combine all three things, what

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you enjoy, what you are good
at, and what others need. If

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we had to sum it up in
a sentence, the purpose is to put

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your passions and talents at the service
of others to solve any problems. When

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you have a purpose, like these
realistic optimists, you keep your mind focused

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on the things that really matter to
you and then, by the simple fact

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of doing this, you already feel
fulfilled. You are stronger in the face

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of adversity when things are going wrong, you do not give up immediately and,

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of course, you have a vision, a more optimistic thought. You

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trust the future, because you have
a purpose, you know where you'

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re going. This is like when
you take the car, if you don

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' t put the GPS and you
don' t know where you' re

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going, you have no confidence in
getting anywhere, because you really don'

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t go anywhere if you have a
road ahead, a car with gasoline,

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you have a destination and you have
the GPS plugged in. Well, obviously,

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you' re much more optimistic that
you' re going to reach your

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final destination. The second thing that
distinguishes a realistic optimist from a magical optimist

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is that realists know how to manage
their emotions, recognize them, label them,

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identify what triggers that emotion. And, by doing this, what they

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get is to reduce the power emotions
have over them. They never repress it,

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they never try to avoid it,
because they know it' s important

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to differentiate between those things you can
control and those things you can' t.

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Optimistic magazines are very good at accepting
reality, because they know that there

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will always be things beyond their control. But what remains under his control is

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always to change his perception and his
response to the things that life is presenting

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to us and that are inevitable.
In this they resemble the Stoics, this

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I see directly from philosophy. Stoica
can' t control what' s going

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on, but you can control your
reaction to what' s going on.

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Third feature of realistic optimists know what
their strengths are and what their weaknesses are

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And why this is important, because
when you have that clarity, you have

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realistic beliefs about what your capabilities are. And then, when you' re

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realistic about your beliefs, about your
abilities, you act without fear, you

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act with confidence. And what happens
when you act fearlessly and act confidently,

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for you get better results. Another
feature is its ability to focus, to

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be present at every moment, to
live in the present moment. And this

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point is very important because today.
You know that technology is testing our ability

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to live in the present, to
keep our attention. We already know from

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multiple studies that too much technology reduces
empathy, decreases cognitive surrender, decreases social

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skills, and we no longer talk
about the consequences of the massive use of

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social networks, especially among very young
people. So this is about getting attention

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and living more in the present.
And for that, realistic optimists, in

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addition to what I just told you, avoid doing three things. Rumiate that

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we saw it or a couple of
episodes ago, worry and compare. They

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don' t do any of these
three things. Rumiation you already know is

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basically getting stuck in the past.
The concern is to get stuck in the

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future and the comparison is to judge
your life and judge yourself, comparing it

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with the lives of others or comparing
you with others. Well, instead of

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doing this, the real optimists do
what they do is look for moments of

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solitude, conscious that inner island that
we all have and that we should go

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to from time to time relax,
put limits to technology, especially in the

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mornings and before bed to sleep better
and in their free time, they do

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things that really bring them happiness,
that bring them joy. All that,

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what it does is that they are
more present at every moment and more present

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at every moment, they are able
to have that realistic optimism which, as

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I say to you, is optimism, which I think is better. Another

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characteristic of these realistic optimists is that
they give importance to connecting with others,

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but they prioritize the quality of those
social relationships above the quantity, that is,

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they are able to alternate that conscious
loneliness that we talked about before,

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with the need or joy, to
see friends, to see family, but

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always with healthy limits, that is, they do not care. If one

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day they have to stay home alone, they don' t care. Nor

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do they build walls behind which they
parapet and do not allow others to enter,

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that is, they face social relations
without craving, without fear of rejection,

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but, on the other hand,
without having the absolute need to always

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be accompanied by people, because if
they do not fall apart. That doesn

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' t happen to them. And
the last feature is that these realistic optimists

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practice healthy habits. You know what
the power of habits is, you know

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that they are automatic decisions that make
up our daily routine and, therefore,

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our identity. Well, the optimists
have their goals and to achieve those goals,

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what they do is generate habits that
build towards the achievement of those goals

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and do so by constantly measuring what
progress they are making. So, for

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example, realistic optimists are people who
prioritize taking care of themselves, exercising and

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all that, those healthy habits.
In the end what leads you to is

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to improve your mood and calm your
mind, I mean, don' t

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you exercise? Why? Are you
optimistic? Are they optimistic because they exercise?

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Are they optimistic because they have healthy
habits? If you do not have

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healthy habits, it is very difficult
for your mind to function in a realistic

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optimistic way. So you know,
the realistic optimist is a person who uses

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a series of tools. Take a
toolbox with you if you want to see

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it, so that you can keep
that realistic view, that both realistic and

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positive view of life. When you
have a realistic and positive vision, you

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find yourself at ease and you can
thrive From there, step by step,

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in all aspects of life. What' s inside that toolbox of the realistic

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optimist, because there' s a
purpose, there' s a ability to

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manage emotions, there' s a
deep self- knowledge, virtues, flaws,

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weak points, strengths. There is
a capacity to live in the present,

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to pay attention to the present moment. There are significant relationships, not

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necessarily many, but quality clarifications and, above all, there are healthy habits.

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If you liked this episode, please
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on social networks or visit three wwwsp
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subscribe and download for free a copy
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a purposeful life. And if you
want to learn much, much more,

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if you want to train in personal
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a look at the free masterclass of
the personal development master' s online ipp

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I leave your link in the episode
notes under the play button In that box

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you can find it next to my
books and without further firing. Thank you

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very much, as always and until
the next