Cómo suprimir las preocupaciones y disfrutar de la vida

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Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for
a better life. I am Eugenio pallar

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Ruiz, a hard- working reader, writer and lover of personal development.

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In today' s episode we will
talk about a classic book how to suppress

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worries and enjoy life. Written by
Dailel Carneggi. In the forties of the

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last century, everyone cares. That
is inevitable, but very few people realize

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the damage that that concern can cause
to their health. Overly worrying can make

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us physically sick. The Greeks knew
this thousands of years ago. Plato knew

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that the mind and body are intimately
related and, unfortunately, today, the

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subjects of concern are everywhere and are
especially frequent at work. For example,

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high- pressure jobs generate more concern
and, as expected, also more illnesses

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than more relaxed jobs. So high
levels of stress that today are associated with

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demanding jobs, can lead people to
heart disease. In fact, the book

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mentions a couple of studies that are
obviously old, because this book is from

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the 1940s, but already then it
was said that more than a third of

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business executives suffered from heart disease,
ulcers, stomachs, high blood pressure,

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etcetera. He also mentions another study
that says doctors are 20 times more likely

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to die of heart failure than farm
workers than farm workers. So, then,

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if you have a very stressful job, I' m not telling you

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to stop today by tomorrow. I
tell you to find a way to combat

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the concern that this work imposes on
you so that you can avoid health problems

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in the future. But why do
we care? We worry because we'

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re confused. It is confusion that
is the main cause of concern and to

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avoid that confusion, what the book
proposes is that we analyze all our concerns

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with three steps. First, we
identify the cause of that concern. Second,

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we analyze the facts. We wonder
what we can do about that concern.

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Make a list of your options.
Maybe your only option is to run

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away or explain or act like nothing
has happened. That' s the second

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point in the making, and the
third point is making a decision. That

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' s where you decide what you' re going to do and you do

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it. And this is important because
once you' ve decided how you'

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re going to deal with what you' re worried about, do it and

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don' t look back. It' s very human to be questioning us

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all the time if we' ve
made the right decision. It is very

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human to constantly ask ourselves whether we
have done the right thing, whether we

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still have time to change our decision, and so on. But once you

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' ve analyzed your concern and decided
on the course of action, you'

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ve decided what you' re going
to do with it. Be firm.

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It suppresses the anxiety generated by doubts. Don' t go back, don

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' t go back to the analysis
stage, don' t go back to

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the starting point. Another very important
aspect of eliminating concerns is living in the

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present. We have said so in
a multitude of episodes of this podcast.

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Worrying about the past or the future
makes no sense. All that makes sense

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is living in the present. This
is a little bit. Like boats.

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Just like ships have water- proof
compartments, we need time- proof compartments.

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What has happened in the past or
what may happen in the future cannot

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and should not interfere with our present. So plan the future if you need

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to be prepared if you need to, but don' t worry unnecessarily about

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what' s going to happen.
You know what the best preparation for the

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future is, do your best in
the present. You' re not going

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to be better prepared because you worry
more You' re going to be better

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prepared because you' ve done your
best in the present. Yesterday no longer

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exists as love and tomorrow is not
yet born. So you don' t

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have to worry about one or the
other. Focus only on what you can

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do today, and this does not
mean that you will not have problems.

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Then, when you face a problem, accept the worst that could happen and

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seek improvement. From there, I
mean, ask yourself what' s the

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worst thing that could happen to me? With this problem? That I have

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writes you what is the worst of
cases and accept it that will probably give

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you more calm than you have right
now, because most likely the worst of

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the cases you can imagine is not
so bad. Surely there is a way

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out, Surely you can recover if, for example, the worst thing that

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can happen is that you lose your
job, because surely writing it you will

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realize that most likely it is also
that you find another one in a short

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period of time. The idea is
that concern is something useless and also that

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affects our happiness. We must avoid
worrying about the bad things that happen to

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us or that we think will happen
to us. The book explains to us

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a strategy that is that of the
Stoblos order that those of you who are

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familiar with the bag will know what
I mean. What the book says is

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to apply the Stoblos strategy for grudges
and concerns. This is a strategy invented

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by a stockbroker that basically means stopping
the loss. I mean, you buy

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shares at a certain price and then
you go looking at how that price evolves.

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If things go wrong, if the
stock price gets to a certain point

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below where you bought it, imagine
ten percent below the price you bought them

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from, then automatically sell them and
this prevents the loss from increasing, i

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e you put a limit on your
maximum loss. Hence the name stoplus because

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with the grudges it works exactly the
same. You shouldn' t spend time

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and energy holding grudges, being angry
with someone or ruminating problems. Put out

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an order. Stoplos in those things
that cause you stress and pain, which

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basically means telling yourself, up to
here, so far I worry, so

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far I get and from here out
those things that cause me pain, that

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cause me stress, that cause me
worry. Most people think that their emotions

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influence the way they think and act. And that' s true. But

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also, as William James, a
famous psychologist, said, this means that

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our actions and our thoughts also influence
our emotions, that is, it is

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a two- way street. Our
emotions influence our thoughts and actions. But

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our actions can also influence our thoughts
and emotions. That is, we cannot

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directly influence how we feel, but
we can indirectly influence how we think and

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how we act, so to speak
in a simpler way. Acting in a

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happy way helps us to feel happier. That is why it is recommended that

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if you are sad, that you
draw a smile on your face, that

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you sing that you dance, because
it is impossible to feel sad when you

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are acting in a cheerful way,
as with thoughts, when you have positive

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happy thoughts, improve your mood.
That is why, Marco Aurelio, who

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was no idiot, because he was
the emperor of the Roman Empire, probably

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the most important in history, said
that our life is what our thoughts make

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of it. So don' t
stop to think, think, cuddle the

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negative issues around you. Focus on
the positive and your life will improve,

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because, as Marco Aurelio said,
your life is what your thoughts make of

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it. The book also speaks of
goodness. When we do something good for

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someone, when we do an act
of kindness, we often do it thinking

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or waiting for gratitude from others and
sometimes having those expectations is probably only going

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to make you disappointed because people tend
to be ungrateful. It is part of

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human nature and we cannot change human
nature. It would be absurd to think

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we can. And I go back
to Marco Aurelio here. He was very

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clear about this point. In fact, in his diary he wrote that selfish,

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ruinous and ungrateful people were going to
be in his life continuously, that

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he would meet them, but that
it neither surprises nor disturbs them, because

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it is impossible to imagine a world
without people. Thus, then, this

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means that you should not do good
deeds, that you should not be a

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kind person. No, what it
means is that you should rejoice in doing

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the kind act, regardless of the
response of others, that you do good

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things for others without expecting anything,
that you don' t do them simply

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by waiting for gratitude. And another
important point to suppress your worries, neither

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envy nor imitate others. The key
is to be authentic. He thinks you

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' re unique, that there'
s no one like you, that there

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' ll never be anyone like you
on this planet, because your genes you

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know are completely unique. And in
spite of that, despite all that we

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are, each of us, many
people yearn to be another person because for

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some reason we like the other,
more for others than for good. But

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we are like this and that makes
no sense to live life longing for someone

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else makes no sense. Why don' t we accept what makes us unique,

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why don' t we feel comfortable
with ourselves, accept what makes us

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special and start to feel better and
comfortable with our own nature, because,

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besides, wanting to be someone else, wanting to be someone you' re

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not carries a great risk. It
can cause you psychological problems, because no

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one is more unhappy than someone who
longs to be someone else. And many

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times, because we also suffer criticism. True, people sometimes criticize us and

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the book also tells us how we
should manage these kinds of situations. Think

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the more they criticize you, the
more influential you are. We can explain

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this a little bit. People,
human beings, are prone to criticize the

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people we admire and the people we
envy. So don' t take those

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criticisms as an insult, or as
a contempt, take them as a compliment.

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If you' re criticized, normally, that means you' re doing

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something worthy of mention, something important, something worth it. So the more

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they criticize you, the better you
are, because more influential and more important

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you will be as a person.
And the book also talks about how tired

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it is to make a book of
the forties. There was already talk of

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tiredness, especially tiredness at work.
I' m sure it' s happened

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to you that after a long hard
day at work, you tend to be

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sadder, and most people when that
happens, assume that it' s intellectual

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work in their office that has worn
them out, but not mental work,

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by itself it doesn' t tire. Scientists have discovered that even after twelve

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hours, mental work alone is not
able to exhaust what exhausts us. So,

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what exhausts us are negative emotions,
it' s boredom, it'

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s anxiety, it' s the
feeling of not being appreciated, of not

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being valued. And there are few
bigger sources of unhappiness in life than having

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to work day after day, every
day, in a job you hate I

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know, you have a job and
you have to keep it because you need

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the money to live. So,
if you' re in that situation,

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if you already have a job you
hate, what you can do is organize

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it in such a way that it
doesn' t cause you any more worries.

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And what I mean by organizing,
because I refer you to the episodes

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about productivity. Having your email inbox
full of unanswered emails will generate a lot

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of worries then, as you don' t like your current work, at

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least organize yourself in a way that
doesn' t generate you, that you

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have it under control, that you
have everything under control so that that part

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doesn' t slip over and,
of course, try in your free time

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to do everything you can to escape
from that nutritional work that you don'

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t like as soon as possible.
But, in the meantime, as long

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as you have to be there,
keep it organized, keep it under control,

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and don' t make it an
additional source of stress. So you

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already know how to worry can be
harmful to your physical health and mental health.

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Find ways to deal with your concerns
that are exactly the ways the book

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gives us Find a little stressful work
that you like and as long as you

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get it. Organise well the one
you already have and your worries one by

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one to make a decision and once
you have made that decision, don'

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t look back. Do it and
don' t look back. He lives

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in the present. He thinks it' s the worst thing that could happen.

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Don' t waste time and energy
holding grudges on. No one acts

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happily, even if you don'
t feel happy, don' t do

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things waiting for the gratitude of others. Accept what makes you special. He

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values being the way you are.
Don' t want to be someone else

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and take each other' s criticisms
as a compliment, because deep down they

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are. And now, before saying
goodbye, let me remind you that you

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have at your disposal a compilation of
the best ideas about personal development, told

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00:16:04.679 --> 00:16:08.799
in a practical way, as I
always try to do in podcasts, in

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my four own books, you already
know them free, healthy and happy,

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thirty- one days to improve your
life, minimalism for normal people and seven

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steps for a life with purpose.
You already know that you have all four

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on Amazon and that I leave your
link in the notes of the episode and

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if you liked this little one,
this little talk, please subscribe, to

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the channel share it on social networks
or visit three www ideas to live better.

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Dot com there you can download free
a copy of my last book and

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without further saying goodbye. Thank you
very much. As always and until next

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time, everything