Kike matilla - familia numerosa

WEBVTT

1
00:00:00.160 --> 00:00:20.960
S Comedy Central Podcast Hello. What. Such well, well, well,

2
00:00:21.039 --> 00:00:24.879
I like it well, well,
I come to tell you as always what

3
00:00:24.920 --> 00:00:28.440
is happening to me in life.
I' m always autobiographical. That'

4
00:00:28.440 --> 00:00:30.359
s why, three years ago,
he said he was just a dad.

5
00:00:31.120 --> 00:00:34.759
That' s why last year he
said he was a dad again. And

6
00:00:34.840 --> 00:00:37.439
that' s why I' m
now coming to tell you that I'

7
00:00:38.520 --> 00:00:39.560
m going to be a dad for
the third time, my next monologue.

8
00:00:39.600 --> 00:00:46.640
Yes, thank you very much.
Thank you, my next monologue. Surely

9
00:00:46.679 --> 00:00:49.479
seeing, the path I take will
be an approach to the wonderful world of

10
00:00:49.560 --> 00:00:53.280
masectomy. Yes, it is,
because I know that I say this that

11
00:00:53.280 --> 00:00:55.759
I am going to have three and
those that you have no children, but

12
00:00:55.759 --> 00:00:59.960
you want to have them true you
think today how beautiful three that you have

13
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:04.400
children and you know how bad you
are thinking three these real assholes and Hijulio

14
00:01:04.480 --> 00:01:08.920
Iglesias in his house will be thinking
look at him three fans, three and

15
00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:11.200
three very followed. Also, between
the oldest and the little one they'

16
00:01:11.239 --> 00:01:15.280
re going to take not even four
very little years. Why so followed,

17
00:01:15.719 --> 00:01:18.840
' cause I' m in a
very fertile moment of my life. If

18
00:01:19.000 --> 00:01:22.920
I basically play the baby, be
very careful what you' re here close

19
00:01:23.000 --> 00:01:26.319
to the stage in case you see
that it' s a little bit or

20
00:01:26.760 --> 00:01:30.480
something, because that could be with
you too, kid because I' m

21
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:34.560
already at a point of rain and
semino. I pollinate before starting this process

22
00:01:34.599 --> 00:01:38.480
of having children. I did fertility
tests for not shooting with blanks and took

23
00:01:38.560 --> 00:01:42.680
a little boat to the fertility clinic. That' s how it shows not

24
00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:46.159
to overflow as we were. I
was glad in the morning and the next

25
00:01:46.200 --> 00:01:48.599
day they called me that please take
that from there that already the boats around

26
00:01:48.680 --> 00:01:57.319
had my surnames. It' s
also, in fact now to see I

27
00:01:57.319 --> 00:02:00.079
' m not going to fool you
now is not that I find many times

28
00:02:00.079 --> 00:02:02.319
for it. But if the case
happens and I get more turbot, it

29
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:08.000
has to be with a condom just
in case, because that comes out on

30
00:02:08.000 --> 00:02:10.800
a free path Okay, that goes
to the ground, passes in huacara,

31
00:02:13.280 --> 00:02:15.199
a cockroach, fecund and then I
have a city councilman. I know there

32
00:02:15.199 --> 00:02:22.960
' s not one thing that already
implies having three children and it' s

33
00:02:23.000 --> 00:02:30.000
that I' m going to spend
27 months of my life living with a

34
00:02:30.039 --> 00:02:32.280
pregnant woman and with all the respect
that I know how you carry the six

35
00:02:32.319 --> 00:02:34.520
pregnancies, which is hard, uh, no, I want you to put

36
00:02:34.520 --> 00:02:36.080
on the defensive. With that good
thing what happens, what complains, for

37
00:02:36.120 --> 00:02:38.680
you should see what would complain to
you will become pregnant. You' re

38
00:02:38.680 --> 00:02:44.080
right. We' d complain ten
times more than you. Now you have

39
00:02:44.080 --> 00:02:51.280
to admit to me that you wouldn' t even put your socks on us

40
00:02:51.280 --> 00:02:51.719
for twenty- seven months together when
you were pregnant. I mean, I,

41
00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:53.960
I, my wife, I don' t know what racter has without

42
00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:59.800
being pregnant, that the same is
cool not to see she does it very

43
00:02:59.800 --> 00:03:01.159
well. In fact, he is
already aware, even of the mood swings

44
00:03:01.199 --> 00:03:05.360
he has. The other day he
left me with a question, a little

45
00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.199
trap. I' ve asked myself
hey, but really how much I feel

46
00:03:07.199 --> 00:03:20.400
when I change my mood when I' m pregnant, not what happens,

47
00:03:21.719 --> 00:03:29.199
honey, love I love you in
case I don' t get out of

48
00:03:29.319 --> 00:03:34.560
this one that sometimes everything that'
s right in the world in a second

49
00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:38.439
happens to be wrong and only you, just you, have the sensitivity to

50
00:03:38.439 --> 00:03:53.199
appreciate it. Twenty- seven months
together and we' ve been pregnant longer

51
00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:53.960
than we haven' t been together, we' ve gone to the show

52
00:03:53.960 --> 00:03:59.080
more times than to the movies.
But don' t worry when that time

53
00:03:59.080 --> 00:04:00.960
comes. Trust us. We'
re gonna be there helping out,'

54
00:04:00.960 --> 00:04:03.240
cause we' re gonna be there
supporting. It is because we are looking

55
00:04:03.240 --> 00:04:08.800
after you, because we love you
and if you are angry because we fear

56
00:04:09.319 --> 00:04:13.080
you, also yes, do not
trust us in that aspect and we are

57
00:04:13.080 --> 00:04:14.400
always very attentive to you. Look. There' s some news that corroborates

58
00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:16.639
this that I' m telling you. A few months ago I read that

59
00:04:16.680 --> 00:04:19.879
there was a couple on vacation.
They were in their car together for a

60
00:04:19.959 --> 00:04:23.519
refuelling sonera. The man got down
there with the hose, the woman went

61
00:04:23.639 --> 00:04:27.000
down to the bathroom and when the
man had already filled the tank, he

62
00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:31.519
got in the car and resumed the
march, forgetting the woman at the gas

63
00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:38.279
station and took a hundred kilometers to
realize. You don' t know me

64
00:04:38.279 --> 00:04:42.480
at all. Don' t look
you' re a couple, you'

65
00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:46.079
re okay. Imagine that you'
re going together on a trip alone in

66
00:04:46.079 --> 00:04:46.800
the car. I don' t
know if it' s a bad mess,

67
00:04:47.199 --> 00:04:48.600
but it' s just the two
of you in the car. The

68
00:04:48.680 --> 00:04:54.360
list is not very long. You
go out to get gas, you go

69
00:04:54.399 --> 00:04:57.000
to the bathroom, and when you
get out of the bathroom, you see

70
00:04:57.000 --> 00:05:01.759
that he' ll get away.
You kill him truth or death and destruction.

71
00:05:02.399 --> 00:05:05.680
At least the other day the gas- oiler told me a mezfolla,

72
00:05:06.319 --> 00:05:11.600
because with reason too and the gas- oiler bravo, bravo, leave you

73
00:05:11.639 --> 00:05:17.959
the other time, please, truth
to see that is going to give me

74
00:05:18.040 --> 00:05:23.000
the reason look. That man didn' t take a hundred kilometers to figure

75
00:05:23.000 --> 00:05:27.519
it out. Not that man at
100 meters knew what he had done the

76
00:05:29.519 --> 00:05:32.480
other ninety- nine kilometers and nine
hundred meters what he was thinking. The

77
00:05:32.519 --> 00:05:41.199
man was going to take little to
see who has the balls to go back

78
00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:43.639
to orologist solin was because he knows
what he' s going to find.

79
00:05:43.720 --> 00:05:48.000
Right, ah she' s not
gonna be there saying. Let' s

80
00:05:48.000 --> 00:05:54.959
see, please, I was talking
about it with the gas station staff laughing.

81
00:05:55.759 --> 00:06:01.240
Not really, I mean that man
the first hundred meters I' ve

82
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:04.680
missed the other ninety- nine kilometers
and nine hundred meters. The doubt I

83
00:06:04.759 --> 00:06:13.199
had was going back to the gas
station and I eat the fattest joke that

84
00:06:13.240 --> 00:06:19.519
I have been thrown into my bloody
life or taking advantage that I carry the

85
00:06:19.600 --> 00:06:23.319
full tank, I throw to some
place where they receive me more welcomingly.

86
00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:30.120
As far as I know Afghanistan,
we' re not going to be there

87
00:06:30.199 --> 00:06:31.639
lieutenants of you. Yeah, I' ve been hanging on to the detail

88
00:06:31.680 --> 00:06:33.959
and I realized that, having three
kids, the house was getting smaller and

89
00:06:34.000 --> 00:06:39.399
we had to move in. I
realized that sometimes the language is not as

90
00:06:39.399 --> 00:06:43.680
obvious as it seems and the situation
is much less look We' re out

91
00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:47.120
of my house waiting for the escans' elevator, with boxes, with bags,

92
00:06:47.279 --> 00:06:49.959
with furniture, with the movers'
waiters, in their movers' uniform.

93
00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:54.800
He looks at the neighbor and tells
me what to do about moving.

94
00:06:58.279 --> 00:07:04.240
It' s not a drill.
We' re seeing how to proceed in

95
00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:06.800
case of a fire. It'
s already seen you look, first the

96
00:07:06.800 --> 00:07:10.600
furniture, then the boxes and the
children. The last thing, if they

97
00:07:10.720 --> 00:07:20.079
perish look we are fertile, we
do better good. Look what nonsense happened

98
00:07:20.160 --> 00:07:24.279
to me at the movin' house. We noticed what nonsense I wanted to

99
00:07:24.279 --> 00:07:27.079
impress the movers. I mean,
two guys I don' t know about

100
00:07:27.120 --> 00:07:28.319
at all, I' m never
gonna see again in my life. I

101
00:07:28.319 --> 00:07:30.399
told myself I want to mark here
that I still have three children, but

102
00:07:30.399 --> 00:07:32.519
I' m powerful. Uh,
so I said the biggest thing in the

103
00:07:32.519 --> 00:07:38.399
house. I' ll take it
out before they come and I presume I

104
00:07:38.480 --> 00:07:41.120
' ll give you an eye and
say look at the couch conches lonni everything

105
00:07:41.120 --> 00:07:43.680
without dismounting it out. I took
him to the door without problems, an

106
00:07:43.720 --> 00:07:46.160
hour of no problems, but an
hour of dragging. And when I got

107
00:07:46.160 --> 00:07:49.600
to the door, I got half
of it out, but the other half

108
00:07:49.639 --> 00:07:55.079
didn' t And that wasn'
t moving forward anymore, and at that

109
00:07:55.079 --> 00:07:58.639
point we went down the stairs a
neighbor. The neighbor is the one with

110
00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:01.360
never, never changed a word with
him. At most you said, hello

111
00:08:01.480 --> 00:08:03.759
hello how it is and that'
s it. But still. You think

112
00:08:03.839 --> 00:08:09.920
that Gilipollas you know he says hello
and you look like a buyo Well,

113
00:08:09.079 --> 00:08:13.439
it turns out that the man tells
me listen you want that he has made

114
00:08:13.519 --> 00:08:18.680
a hand that I go without haste, no, because maybe it was not

115
00:08:18.680 --> 00:08:20.720
Gilipollas worth not look. We stood
there between two and a half hours sweating

116
00:08:20.759 --> 00:08:24.000
more, not being able to do
that. I didn' t move and

117
00:08:24.040 --> 00:08:26.480
in the end I told him I
said uncle really thank you very much,

118
00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:28.279
but leave, because this we'
re not going to get him out of

119
00:08:28.279 --> 00:08:33.120
here in life. And he tells
me ah was to pull him out hahaha,

120
00:08:33.799 --> 00:08:39.440
yes it was Filipollas, yes it
was true. We have now moved

121
00:08:39.519 --> 00:08:41.080
a village that in the village is
all quieter, because the city according to

122
00:08:41.159 --> 00:08:45.639
the neighbor that touches you so to
have a fuss and I had a neighbor

123
00:08:45.639 --> 00:08:48.279
goodbye. We had talked about a
church every time there was mass, it

124
00:08:48.279 --> 00:08:52.120
would ring the bells. I was
woken up to the kids that I was

125
00:08:52.120 --> 00:08:54.080
ringing the bells so loud every time
there' s mass. I think it

126
00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:58.519
' s very little confidence in your
product. If it' s really good,

127
00:09:00.879 --> 00:09:03.480
he' ll come look down the
neighborhood has no bells and by the

128
00:09:03.480 --> 00:09:05.440
way, two minutes in April,
they' ll pick him up home in

129
00:09:05.480 --> 00:09:07.440
case something' s happened it'
s already in the village. It'

130
00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:11.159
s all another rhythm, all other
rhythm, all you live in the city.

131
00:09:11.200 --> 00:09:13.279
It' s horn today and it
says go jam. I' m

132
00:09:13.320 --> 00:09:15.559
in town. I hear Horns.
I mean fucking melonero. It is.

133
00:09:16.679 --> 00:09:18.759
It' s a very small town. Say it. It is a small

134
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:24.320
town of Asturias, very small.
We are two hundred inhabitants and seeing the

135
00:09:24.399 --> 00:09:28.919
middle age next year, surely we
will be half. There' s a

136
00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:35.399
lot of people out there walking around
on the extension. Actually. In fact,

137
00:09:37.240 --> 00:09:41.639
the other day there was a neighborhood
meeting to see if they would put

138
00:09:41.639 --> 00:09:43.320
a repeat phone and improve communication between
the people I say man, for not

139
00:09:43.399 --> 00:09:48.679
losing contact, I would put a
daughter. Yeah. I believe I,

140
00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:50.720
I believe I tell you what I
think happens. I believe that, since

141
00:09:50.759 --> 00:09:54.159
the road that reaches the village is
narrow, death has not been able to

142
00:09:54.200 --> 00:09:58.679
arrive in a long time and the
work has been accumulating and the day that

143
00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:03.840
it finally arrives, because it will
not give enough of to let buses and

144
00:10:03.919 --> 00:10:05.440
will leave there as an organized journey. The water damages above by saying to

145
00:10:05.440 --> 00:10:09.480
see, please, that those born
in the 19th century follow me. Let

146
00:10:09.480 --> 00:10:20.320
' s go, let' s
not small town, but it' s

147
00:10:20.320 --> 00:10:22.960
fine. We have everything, we
have bar, we have shop, we

148
00:10:24.039 --> 00:10:26.720
have watertight, we have meetings.
It' s all in the bar.

149
00:10:26.759 --> 00:10:30.080
But we' ve got it all, the whole bar has it. What

150
00:10:30.120 --> 00:10:33.440
you have no name because I have
realized that in the towns, the business,

151
00:10:33.960 --> 00:10:35.519
you don' t have to name
it, because it will come to

152
00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:37.159
you already. I mean, you
set up a tea bar. Besides,

153
00:10:37.200 --> 00:10:41.120
Manolo was going to be where Manolo
boes is a kiosk or Tellamas. Luisa

154
00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:43.000
was going to be where Luisa put
a fucking tea. Besides, Germán'

155
00:10:43.000 --> 00:10:50.679
s gonna be where the whores are. That' s another thing also involved

156
00:10:50.720 --> 00:10:52.080
us getting into the third child,
and that' s because we' ve

157
00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:56.000
decided to get married at last.
I was already playing not the goodbye,

158
00:10:56.360 --> 00:10:56.960
single or I didn' t refuse
the expected ones. Single no longer has

159
00:10:56.960 --> 00:11:00.320
the incentive, not anymore. No. Now he' s a Christ.

160
00:11:00.399 --> 00:11:01.919
Now it' s no use even
meeting her in your town, in your

161
00:11:01.919 --> 00:11:03.879
village. Let' s go get
a pulp. The further away, the

162
00:11:03.919 --> 00:11:07.200
better. I organized one of a
colleague last year and told me my friend

163
00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:09.519
Juan and I called Uncle for the
farewell of this one we' re going

164
00:11:09.519 --> 00:11:13.679
to do in London. There'
s London. Uncle London is great,

165
00:11:15.120 --> 00:11:18.080
because there we can drink and drive
that colemia coto put him across the street.

166
00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:28.919
Well, it' s not complicated. It' s gotten really complicated.

167
00:11:30.000 --> 00:11:31.519
The solotero farewell is no longer good
with come, because we go around

168
00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:35.840
for dinner and then for drinks and
then something that rhymes with utas. I

169
00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:37.200
don' t know. Not now, now we have to do a multi

170
00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:43.440
- adventure weekend. It is two
years ago, in Winter we had the

171
00:11:43.440 --> 00:11:46.360
ordered one and those who organized had
the idea of looking, because the ordered

172
00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:48.519
ones we have taken you a rural
house. There in the mountains, in

173
00:11:48.600 --> 00:11:54.759
Pyrenees we go in December and because
maybe a little bit of freshness is not

174
00:11:56.639 --> 00:11:58.799
prollamos two bottles of vodka for each
one. I say good you have thought

175
00:12:00.320 --> 00:12:05.360
about it and the next day we
will get up soon at eight and we

176
00:12:05.440 --> 00:12:16.799
will go down the mountain to hike
what good idea eh thirty year olds without

177
00:12:16.919 --> 00:12:22.639
sleeping drunk out loosely on the phenomenal
mountain peronal i e is the Osopardo who

178
00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:28.799
has become scavengers. It' s
a look. This I swear to you,

179
00:12:28.240 --> 00:12:31.360
it' s true that I organized. Every five minutes he took me

180
00:12:31.360 --> 00:12:33.840
a colleague to put on an activity. Everyone had ideas. He was taking

181
00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:35.000
one with me. Hey, man, we gotta go to some cards or

182
00:12:35.120 --> 00:12:37.840
pointed carls. That' s enough. Today we have to make a claw

183
00:12:37.879 --> 00:12:43.759
of perimol Painmol pointed. Hey,
he hires a stripper stripper. I mean,

184
00:12:43.000 --> 00:12:45.960
we' re going to have something
in Spanish. Hey, if we

185
00:12:46.039 --> 00:12:48.639
' re just gonna drink? And
there' s already Drinking And there'

186
00:12:48.639 --> 00:12:52.000
s Miran Castellano, no more fun, I don' t know, but

187
00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:56.159
already when I had the list of
the four things pointed out, or it

188
00:12:56.159 --> 00:12:58.080
won' t give us time.
Do everything, because I want to,

189
00:12:58.080 --> 00:13:03.759
do it, we' re going
to do it, but at the same

190
00:13:03.799 --> 00:13:07.000
time it doesn' t have to
be cool. Imagine he was half-

191
00:13:07.279 --> 00:13:09.559
speed single. The city was riding
in a car, a cubata in one

192
00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:13.200
hand, a gun in the other. A new aunt hugged behind you for

193
00:13:13.240 --> 00:13:24.200
a cop and says put I don' t know where to start eh hahaha

194
00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:31.639
and Juanillo behind screaming. In London
we had been delivered to the wedding,

195
00:13:31.840 --> 00:13:33.840
Yes, the wedding, the wedding, yes, that we wanted to do.

196
00:13:33.919 --> 00:13:35.600
I was already looking forward to it. Also, I was careful when

197
00:13:35.639 --> 00:13:39.840
I gave the news that I married
people to give contact is true, because

198
00:13:39.840 --> 00:13:43.240
when you marry a friend it is
a joy. When you get married five

199
00:13:43.240 --> 00:13:46.639
the same year, she' s
a fat fuck. I lived that three

200
00:13:46.679 --> 00:13:48.240
years ago. Every time I met
a friend, he gave me the same

201
00:13:48.279 --> 00:13:50.840
news. I was David. Hey, man, I' m getting married

202
00:13:50.840 --> 00:13:54.440
this year. I say ah for
Guay Tira that we have a vogue and

203
00:13:54.519 --> 00:13:58.159
good- bye and whores come Guay
Then after three days I tell myself the

204
00:13:58.159 --> 00:14:03.000
same thing Andrés. Hey, man, I' m getting married this year.

205
00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:09.600
I was already passing the wedding in
euros, not the single orders.

206
00:14:09.600 --> 00:14:11.960
All right, the wedding' s
a lot better. I really had a

207
00:14:13.000 --> 00:14:16.679
lot better time, all right.
The photos equal a long peline. The

208
00:14:16.759 --> 00:14:20.679
moment is to get out of the
ceremony, get out of court, get

209
00:14:20.679 --> 00:14:22.440
out of the church. And the
pictures there the door gets long, because

210
00:14:22.519 --> 00:14:26.840
before that it marked the end the
Camera of Reel. Thirty- six photos

211
00:14:26.879 --> 00:14:28.960
and eating sometimes come two more.
Throw thirty- eight just in case and

212
00:14:30.000 --> 00:14:33.720
eat now not go to a memory
card. It fits him in fifteen thousand

213
00:14:33.840 --> 00:14:39.120
photos and see if there are eggs
to fill it. And since we'

214
00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:43.039
re deep imbeciles, we have to
take all the pictures of the groups,

215
00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:45.399
of everyone you can think of all
the beginnings. The logic. The groom

216
00:14:45.399 --> 00:14:50.600
' s family, well, the
bride' s family is worth the groom

217
00:14:50.159 --> 00:14:56.879
' s friends, well the bride' s friends don' t have anything

218
00:14:56.879 --> 00:14:58.200
for it will be later, then, the raving begins. One saying come

219
00:14:58.200 --> 00:15:01.000
on now put on whatever they know
to talk. Two languages or more you

220
00:15:01.000 --> 00:15:05.320
finish. Juanillo, asking me and
I have done for an Italian put on,

221
00:15:05.639 --> 00:15:09.039
also ponto, of course, that
photo was very funny, because they

222
00:15:09.080 --> 00:15:20.639
all say potato except Juanillo who comes
out saying potato tatas. But the most

223
00:15:20.879 --> 00:15:22.799
beautiful of the children are the children
themselves. Besides, I' m sure

224
00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:26.399
it' s going to change a
lot now with the third, and with

225
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:28.320
the second it' s all different. With the second son changes everything from

226
00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:30.639
the first. It' s not
that the second one you love less.

227
00:15:30.679 --> 00:15:35.279
Uh, we' re not the
royal family, but you' re no

228
00:15:35.320 --> 00:15:39.519
longer a first- timer and that' s a grade Look at us the

229
00:15:39.519 --> 00:15:41.639
first time we separated from the oldest
age to leave it with the grandparents you

230
00:15:41.639 --> 00:15:43.600
already see that' s relatively safe. But I was already nervous. I

231
00:15:43.639 --> 00:15:46.519
mean there, please, putting a
little crimite on your ass when I put

232
00:15:46.799 --> 00:15:48.519
a diaper on the inside on the
outside doesn' t work. I know

233
00:15:48.559 --> 00:15:52.240
from experience and he got rid of
temperadito that if it' s too hot,

234
00:15:52.320 --> 00:15:56.240
he spits it in his face and
has aim the bastard with the little

235
00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:03.679
one was already less painful. It
was like Tamagola, eat up and shit

236
00:16:03.679 --> 00:16:07.360
down. I mean, look at
the third one. We won' t

237
00:16:07.360 --> 00:16:11.879
cry anymore When we gave him up
for adoption, he' s gonna leave

238
00:16:11.879 --> 00:16:12.879
him on the ground. There in
a blanket, ring the bell and run

239
00:16:12.879 --> 00:16:17.480
away then some tear. It doesn' t make you sad and I mean,

240
00:16:17.600 --> 00:16:18.919
man, yeah, the blanket was
for the car. But, well,

241
00:16:21.639 --> 00:16:29.000
it' s not. It'
s not a wonder of the children

242
00:16:29.039 --> 00:16:30.960
I recommend it. It' s
wonderful. Recently we have lived a moment

243
00:16:30.000 --> 00:16:38.840
with them, with the greatest moment
between tender violent, funny uncomfortable, as

244
00:16:38.840 --> 00:16:42.720
when you see on TV an interview
with Rajoy you know that it was like

245
00:16:42.799 --> 00:16:47.960
it was the moment of his first
clear taco you kiss him there with his

246
00:16:47.960 --> 00:16:51.279
three and a half years old,
with that innocence, with that way so

247
00:16:51.360 --> 00:16:55.200
funny that he has to talk like
that at that age that suddenly raises his

248
00:16:55.279 --> 00:16:57.639
head and says daughter of the great
whore. I was angry at what I

249
00:16:57.679 --> 00:17:03.240
had said, but proud of how
well I had pronounced it. My wife

250
00:17:03.279 --> 00:17:07.079
' s already taken him to hell. I was already in trouble blaming myself,

251
00:17:07.200 --> 00:17:08.480
because I don' t know where
he learned that, uh, because

252
00:17:08.480 --> 00:17:11.119
I don' t say those things. Let' s see who' s

253
00:17:11.119 --> 00:17:14.319
learned it. I mean, uh, don' t look at me.

254
00:17:14.359 --> 00:17:15.960
Uh, I couldn' t learn
that, because I didn' t say

255
00:17:17.000 --> 00:17:21.640
that. She hasn' t learned
it from your mother, that big bitch

256
00:17:21.720 --> 00:17:26.440
' s daughter. And it'
s not beautiful. The kids are beautiful.

257
00:17:27.240 --> 00:17:30.279
Done, now I know things,
but when it' s first-

258
00:17:30.279 --> 00:17:33.000
time, there are certain things that
enjoy too much. For example, the

259
00:17:33.039 --> 00:17:37.440
first bath we gave the major at
home alone. And we, without the

260
00:17:37.480 --> 00:17:41.000
help of mother- in- laws
or grandmothers, had put a portable morning

261
00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:45.119
girl there in our bedroom. I
took out Mario, with a week of

262
00:17:45.200 --> 00:17:48.279
life, put him with the towel
in the middle of our bed, turned

263
00:17:48.359 --> 00:17:52.960
to take the diaper and my wife, with a lot of disappointment, told

264
00:17:52.200 --> 00:17:59.200
me what you do to get a
diaper, but why we' re screaming.

265
00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:10.599
But how do you leave him there
alone that he can drop jum to

266
00:18:10.599 --> 00:18:15.319
see. He' s got seven
days. The bed is two meters long

267
00:18:15.359 --> 00:18:21.960
per meter fifty wide. I left
the kid in the fucking geometric center.

268
00:18:22.640 --> 00:18:26.319
The least it has to the edge
of the bed is seventy- five centimetres

269
00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:29.440
of journey, that is, how
it will get there, if today it

270
00:18:29.480 --> 00:18:34.359
is difficult to launder without shitting and
wings that you have had a boy,

271
00:18:34.519 --> 00:18:41.480
not a girl. It' s
hard to find the middle ground in baby

272
00:18:41.559 --> 00:18:45.799
care. It' s very very
difficult, very difficult. Not to this

273
00:18:45.839 --> 00:18:48.759
of the first- timer, of
the alarmism for everything, or this of

274
00:18:48.759 --> 00:18:52.400
the grandmothers of the village, which
is that it has three months, for

275
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:55.799
it makes its own food. It' s not like I take the kids

276
00:18:55.839 --> 00:18:57.559
out there for a walk, and
if they' re very warm, then

277
00:18:57.640 --> 00:19:00.200
they' re very warm, and
then they get bad for anything. They

278
00:19:00.240 --> 00:19:03.720
see me giving him a little potty
and the same thing you give him those

279
00:19:03.720 --> 00:19:06.480
things and then, of course,
they' re allergic to everything Look at

280
00:19:06.480 --> 00:19:10.440
mine. Look at mine. They
were born and every month we were seeing

281
00:19:10.480 --> 00:19:12.200
milk from the goat directly as it
came out, without sterilizing or anything.

282
00:19:12.519 --> 00:19:17.200
And so I raised nine children.
Uh, well, three of them died

283
00:19:17.200 --> 00:19:23.240
on me. Complicated, very complicated. I found it. Hey, I

284
00:19:23.319 --> 00:19:27.880
found the middle ground in baby care. I' m an ash It'

285
00:19:27.880 --> 00:19:30.440
s not for throwing flowers on me, but I' m a stepfather.

286
00:19:30.559 --> 00:19:33.880
In fact, I' ve got
the baby' s care so internalized that

287
00:19:33.880 --> 00:19:36.720
I get out of it even when
it doesn' t touch. For example,

288
00:19:36.759 --> 00:19:38.640
I am, imagine, you and
I are very colleagues. We meet

289
00:19:38.640 --> 00:19:41.680
one day on the street and we
give it to ourselves by giving an arm

290
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:47.359
and colpamaitas like this on the back. I don' t let you go

291
00:19:47.400 --> 00:19:48.680
till you break out, I'
ve been going for a while, and

292
00:19:48.680 --> 00:19:49.000
you' re thinking. What are
you doing, this asshole? But then

293
00:19:49.279 --> 00:20:02.079
you throw him out and thank him. I' d like that. I

294
00:20:02.160 --> 00:20:03.359
' d like my kids to do
things that I like to do. I

295
00:20:03.440 --> 00:20:07.880
like to do sports, for example. I' d adjust if they did

296
00:20:07.880 --> 00:20:10.400
sports, too. But first they
will have to learn languages because today you

297
00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:11.799
either do a sport with exotic man, or it' s less sport.

298
00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:15.440
Right, you do self- defense, you do shit, you do face,

299
00:20:15.720 --> 00:20:18.400
you jamana and it was cool true. It' s but even for

300
00:20:18.440 --> 00:20:22.799
the simplest of ranning you don'
t. I don' t do reanning

301
00:20:22.839 --> 00:20:26.400
yus something to run. You do
fitness, no. I don' t

302
00:20:26.400 --> 00:20:29.839
do fitness, I do weights,
you do zumba, no, I don

303
00:20:29.839 --> 00:20:38.240
' t zumbo. I' m
looking at the basin. Hey what I

304
00:20:38.279 --> 00:20:40.799
' m sure won' t change
with the third one. It' s

305
00:20:40.839 --> 00:20:42.400
gonna be what we want them to
be, not that you' re having

306
00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:44.599
more kids and you' re loving
them less. No, because with the

307
00:20:44.640 --> 00:20:48.200
children, one very beautiful thing is
that with the children love does not divide,

308
00:20:48.559 --> 00:20:52.759
it multiplies. That' s why
I hope the third one comes with

309
00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:56.599
a bread under his arm or with
seven or eight, because if with three

310
00:20:56.640 --> 00:21:00.000
the love multiplyes the bills and I
don' t tell you boats anymore.

311
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:12.559
Thank you very much.