March 28, 2024
Richard Salamanca- España corcho

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Comedy Central Podcast, what' s
up? Good night, how are you?
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You' re having a good time, this morning I was at the
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gym by mistake and I was recognized
by a guy. He told me fuck,
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you' re squeaking at the mantle, comedian this Comedy Central, tell
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yourself a few jokes, then nothing. I threw the heavy on him He
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broke his chest. Why am I
counting this? Why am I counting this?
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Because this thing that I and my
colleagues are doing, this is a
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job. We charge with your laughs, then pay, we pay in tears.
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No, but it' s a
job I still have to put up
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with some friend or family member saying
good, Richard, but you, other
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than this, will do something else, Uncle, because look the same and
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you, when you' re not
working things and so not long ago,
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a friend was out of work,
had to pay the mortgage. Then he
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placed himself at night in a dark, discreet alley, but crowded. He
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put himself there at night to masturbate
people, mainly men. He told us
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he worked in a fur shop.
Yeah, but the thing is, one
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night I finished acting and I walked
by and I saw him as a listener.
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I' m your quiet uncle friend. It' s okay. I
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' m not gonna tell anyone anything, but never be ashamed of your job.
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If this makes people happy, now
don' t charge me. A
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week ago I was acting in a
place a little smaller than this one in
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Gerona, and I got to the
owner of the room and I asked him
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hey, gentleman, how is the
gentile here in Gerona and tell me people
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come down to see how I explain
to this guy now that he has to
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invoice me. No, but good. Eye, eye, eye. I
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' m not messing with cataluña or
anything. I don' t care if
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cataluñas independencia, I don' t
care. I' d be annoyed if
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you were to become independent, because
I go every summer you' ve come,
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not and fuck me across a country
to go to the beach. No.
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But good. I think that'
s good, because people should vote
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for more things better. We'
re used to voting. I see people
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on the street that go like this. We' re used to it.
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It would eliminate the day of reflection, because the day of reflection is useless.
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The last times we voted was the
next day there was all the shit
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we' ve done. So nothing. As we are already used to throwing
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away, voting everyone, voting animals, voting children, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no
No, but recently, I was looking
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at a poll that related to people' s cinematographic tastes based on their intention
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to vote. I mean, that' s what you like, because this
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is what you vote for. People
who vote, citizens are fans of Star
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Wars. So Tan Tan? Tan? Tan? Tan? Tan? Tan?
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Tan? Tan? Tan? Not
especially because of the awakening of force,
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although they have finally been the phantom
threat. No. People who vote
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for the EPP prefer dinosaur movies.
Tino Ninoni' s still alive. The
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people who vote are more Titanic.
You don' t have to explain anything
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here. Those who vote for us
are fans of Tarantino' s cinema.
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You know a lot of talk,
and in the end, it' s
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safe violence, not Upei' s, if he didn' t say anything.
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But I already say which one in
the movie of Upid Manolete if you
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don' t know how to fight
for what you' re getting into.
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You' ve seen the movie,
you' ve seen it all doesn'
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t fit, because the mannel film
tells you the story. It' s
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an American movie. It tells the
story of this popular bullfighter, the Francoist
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Spain and the host on empotrator.
He hasn' t brushed everything that moved.
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He fell in love with a woman
and did not reciprocate. Then he
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sat on the cocaine and got caught
by a bull about the cocaine. If
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Franco had had pharlopa. But you
can tell the hand of American screenwriters clearly
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know that the pharlopa goes very well
to kill. They' re bullfighters,
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too They' re not gonna get
out of Mdman' s shoes. Come
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here, come here, come here? Come here? Come here? Handsome,
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handsome? Come here, come here? Come here? See here?
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All right, all right, all
right here? Come here? Come here?
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Come here? U I have it, we have it, and these
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eggs and this today I smell what
a fain or, what a black,
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what a horn, what a cool
people and these villages and these pits.
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But the full banchan lifts you up
there already seems to be Spanish. But,
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hey, I' m talking about
this. But I have no fucking
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idea about bulls. I have no
idea. I' ve asked people who
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understand what' s cool about hearing. The spectacle of this says it cool,
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for it is a spectacle in which
the presence of death hovers and this
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makes it attractive. So if this
is why you can go to a park
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to watch a game of petanga,
not just and at any time by death
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can also appear. Can' t
the truth, the truth is that I
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don' t know if if you
know that both artists and bullfighters share the
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same quote regime, yes, yes, for every day worked are two listed
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and now I' m working and
contributing. Tomorrow I' ll be just
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making a quote and drunk. I
can afford it. But if recently they
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criticized a mogollón to fran Rivera because
he came out, he went out torturing
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with his son in arms you agree, not people on social networks and put
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him back and a half, I
mean the flip people get a comparison even
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with Michael Jackson, when he taught
his daughter for lamenting in a hotel.
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And this has nothing to do with
it. He didn' t say Michael
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Jackson when he was hanging on a
fifth floor is much safer. There in
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the room. No sasus Hedia,
it would be fran Rivera, because he
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was contributing. No. But,
objectively, if the bullfighters did not exist,
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there would be no proof of paternity, which was before the paternity test
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or the bullfighter, for the truth
is not known. But we' ve
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come to this point. If I' d like to talk about one thing,
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I think it' s important.
You know they' ve banned the
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bull from the vega. You know
it, you know it' s been
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proven. No bull of the vega
is that he will release the bull in
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the field and go to people armed
with spears, pinchos, pencils pending,
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anything that will pinch and have to
kill him. Okay. The prohibition is
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that they cannot kill the bull in
public. There' s the torsillas trying
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to put doors on the field That' s fine. We agree. No,
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cruelty should not be a cause for
celebration in a civilized society. Well,
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it' s not worth it.
But what about the buñol tomatina?
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The animals do, but the plants
grow by the ass, that is,
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every summer, millions of innocent tomatoes, very spattered among the mules of sweaty
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drunks and nobody says anything that is
going to be August to ask for a
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gapacho and it is noticed that it
is much clearer. It' s not
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true. The same way we feel
when we see the bull in the vega.
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The vegans feel them, when they
see the bony tomatine. Let'
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s empathize with the vegans who are
going to starve to death, let'
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s empathize with them to crush the
vegetables. It' s not art or
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culture. It' s not the
mooring, it' s not the debuñol,
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the bonnets defend themselves and say no. But if the tomato doesn'
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t suffer, it' s fine, but the tomato gives us fantastic things.
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Tomato is antioxidant. Prevents cancer.
It is present in all diets,
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better the taste of semmedi and vaginal
discharge. You didn' t know this,
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because yes, it' s antioxidant. But good are traditions. We
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have traditions here in Spain, and
traditions all over the world. In India
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they venerate alabata looks like in Germany, it is not in the United States.
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In the United States, they celebrate
Vale Marmot Day in the United States.
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It' s this country that'
s some sewer smoke. It'
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s the only place they let you
smoke. If so, for the Nindia
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turtles. They don' t smoke. They don' t smoke because they
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have three fingers, because every time
they give a draught, they cover their
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faces and they can kill them.
No. No, they can' t
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smoke. On the day of the
marmot, their States are all placed around
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the burrow. If the marmot comes
out that good doesn' t end.
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If the speck doesn' t come
out the winter will last a little longer.
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This is what my whole life here
in Spain has known how my knee
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hurts. This is gonna change the
time. But clear to the Americans is
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not the joints, because they have
private exit. That' s where you
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get more. You have to pay
for it. It' s a luxury,
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an appendicitis operation, which is this
here costing thirty- six zero bucks,
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the same as a porch shuts down
how you stay that' s less
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bad than us. They don'
t give us the choice. No,
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because if we weren' t all
going to get a five- hundred-
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dollar flu, get a ten-
dollar bonus. I don' t know
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three zero a day flu dollar if
we make you twenty percent of the story
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in your next candidiasis. I don' t know something like that. I
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think this country and now I get
serious. I think this country will go
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to hell for the day we have
to pay for a rectal touch. Now
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we tolerate it because it' s
free, but the day we have to
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pay for it, people don'
t like to get things in their eyes.
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No. No. No, no, people don' t tolerate it?
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No, he can' t stand
it for love. There are some
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who are empathizing with me. Well, I don' t get sick.
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I get sick because I' m
autonomous. The self- employed don'
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t get sick. The last autonomous
who followed down the times of the CID
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champion, who was the CID,
because he was killed by the CID was
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the first autonomous in history. In
fact, he went to work until he
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was dead. I mean, that' s right. This City death thing
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is in the hemerotecas. According to
the country, it was a brawl with
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two Mozarabics, because according to reason, it was three shit monkeys. No,
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but that meant mine. No.
But, well, I think betrayals
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serve to reaffirm the identity of a
broad social group. Traditions have to please
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us all, like the nap,
to which yes I propose right now,
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here today, in this room establish, as Spanish tradition, the obligatory daily
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masturbation every morning when you rise from
bed to touch, even as the i
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a teacher three times a day and
with a full stomach. If you masturbate
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a lot, your eyes shine,
your skin is much smoother. It'
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s true that you' re going
a little looser for life. No,
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but if we all go the same, it' s okay. No.
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No one' s died from masturbating
too much or we' ve all got
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people for masturbating weird. If you
put a bag on the furo cart on
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your head, I know how to
put it on the market that doesn'
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t have grute, no, no, but it' s true to the
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masturation nothing more than I find it. Virtues, no one recommends it.
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You go to the doctor doctor who
couldn' t, because take these pills
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already, but I don' t
want pills, because take a drink ah
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came before bed, man, I
miss the doctor tell me look boy you
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before you put the bed. Stab
it in English. Good as it is.
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This speech may seem frivolous. Okay, no. Masturbation is like talking
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about time with yourself. Okay,
I buy it for you, but when
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you masturbate, it allows you to
see your life in perspective, because when
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you' re doing there are people
who are remembering the past. Others are
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imagining the future. Others prefer to
settle in the present in front of a
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computer pant. The present does not
fail, unless you run out of WiFi
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does not fail past. The future
is more dangerous, because they belong to
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the field of imagination. I don' t know about you, but mine
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has no borders. I was recently
peeling her hard, hard, thinking,
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thinking about Tenlu and the world.
At the height of the moment my grandmother
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appeared to you you also like the
program less bad that there is wall not,
209
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:09.799
but if not in masturbasm, we
would all relate to people in a
210
00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:13.200
much more selfless way. There'
s no more sexual interest, you'
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00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:16.440
re no longer with a person you' re thinking look. I want to
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00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:18.120
buzz me. I want her to
buzz me. I want no buzzing.
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00:13:18.440 --> 00:13:31.320
You think well, I' ll
listen to that yes, but let'
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00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:31.919
s do a test. Everyone in
the room, you' re enough people.
215
00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:35.879
Let' s do a test.
I would like you to applaud all
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00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:39.240
those who agree that we should establish, as a Spanish tradition, compulsory daily
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00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:41.639
masturbation. And I say obligatory because
I don' t know anyone who,
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00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:46.399
after touching this bad mood that'
s here, you dare shut up that
219
00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:50.000
doesn' t exist. Okay.
You' re prepared for an epic moment
220
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:54.679
on television. You' re ready. Applaud all those who agree. Let
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00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:13.759
' s be clear. Okay.
An anti- masturbator forum can always emerge.
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00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:28.759
We won' t be called clean
hands, but this would make my
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00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:31.559
life much more enjoyable. Call me
an asshole, but I' m cool.
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00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:35.200
To live a mathematical question. There
are more dead than alive. Me
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00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:39.720
living. I feel special to myself
to feel like the Iberian lynx. Sounds
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00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:46.759
like enough reason to touch me.
Recently there' s a tradition we'
227
00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:48.480
ve given him a gill. We' ve done the update, which is
228
00:14:48.519 --> 00:14:52.200
the Dead Day. Now it'
s called Halloween. It looks like a
229
00:14:52.279 --> 00:15:01.519
Nazi Halloween greeting, a dictation called
wen findo, instead, the Day of
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00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:05.720
the Dead. The Day of the
Dead. The name is no longer so
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00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:07.399
cool that it is no more,
because it reminds us all that we are
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00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:11.679
going to die. And that'
s what happens now. You didn'
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00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:16.799
t think you were immortal. There' s someone out there who thinks.
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00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:20.679
No. Me? Don' t
you? Me? Me? Me?
235
00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:22.679
Don' t you? Don'
t you? Me? Don' t
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00:15:22.679 --> 00:15:26.320
you? Me? I have every
season to know how to live. We
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00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:30.759
' re going to put on a
wooden pajamite. Everybody' s fucking dying
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00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:33.559
lately. Mogollón of musicians recently put
Leonard co in David Powie Prints and one
239
00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:39.840
that played the triangle. They shouldn' t be riding a macro festival in
240
00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:46.120
the afterlife rock No, but well
he died. Nelson Mandela died, Nelson
241
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:50.240
died for friends, Mandela died for
others. Nelson Mandela' s last words
242
00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:56.240
were as follows. A lot of
people have paid a price before me and
243
00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:02.440
a lot of people will keep paying
a price after me. I think he
244
00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:07.200
' s talking about the serious toll
problem. But of course, as Mandela
245
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:11.320
is, everything he says has to
do with racism that he didn' t
246
00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:14.440
do so much and spent his whole
life in jail. It was that interesting
247
00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:25.279
pictures. This is not the way
to be faithful in solidarity. Why I
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00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:27.919
count this. Because I count this, because now I' m going to
249
00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:30.440
open my little heart. Okay.
That' s where it happens with the
250
00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:32.639
immigrants. I don' t know
if there' ll be any here.
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00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:34.759
Statistically, there have to be some. Okay, it happens to me with
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00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:37.759
the immigrants. I understand they'
re people. I don' t see
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00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:41.799
them inferior. I don' t, but I feel a little bit superior
254
00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:45.399
because I' m in my country. It' s not patriotism. No.
255
00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:48.120
No, no, no. No, it' s a very Spanish
256
00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:55.200
concept that we have here, very
rooted, which is ancient. The last
257
00:16:55.240 --> 00:16:59.159
one to get here and eat the
shit. Lin was the one who started
258
00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:03.799
the cod in school Who was the
one who kicked it the repeater, of
259
00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:06.920
course as the one in which it
took the longest, for we accepted a
260
00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:11.559
fucking illiterate as our leader, antiquity, very dangerous, eye, age wins
261
00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:26.319
lessons process For this reason, the
immigrants who come to our country are going
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00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:29.200
to have the worst jobs, the
worst salaries, and you have a very
263
00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:30.000
bad move with them. You have
to do it to get the police to
264
00:17:30.039 --> 00:17:34.559
agree. I usually get self-
esteem in immigrants. I live in Ulsera
265
00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:37.960
' s neighborhood. It' s
got Latins on it. I feel a
266
00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:45.319
little taller there. Yes, for
the same reason that Maria Teresa Campos the
267
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:59.359
Telecinco feels much more journalist. It' s the same thing I' ve
268
00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:00.519
looked at in the dictionary. Cash, you' re a little bit racist.
269
00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:03.720
I' m not a low-
cost racism, it' s a
270
00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:06.839
low- cost racism. I don' t have to bill for my prejudices.
271
00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:08.079
Don' t look at me bad. It' s not right.
272
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:11.640
You don' t know there'
s no such thing as a racist.
273
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:15.519
Otherwise, it doesn' t exist, it doesn' t exist. Must
274
00:18:15.559 --> 00:18:18.559
be the same. The dictionary was
not prepared for such solidarity. Yeah,
275
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:25.200
it can be tolerant, no,
because it' s not the same thing
276
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.599
to be intolerant as being racist.
I can be lactose intolerant, but I
277
00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:30.200
don' t care about insurance I
mean, I don' t see a
278
00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:36.319
yogun and tell him to get back
to your fucking cow. Of course,
279
00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:40.400
it' s just dictionary flaws.
They are faults that have as well as
280
00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.359
the male of nymphomaniac, nymphoma.
He doesn' t show up anywhere.
281
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:48.880
It must be that nymphomania is a
subject that only affects you girls It'
282
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:52.319
s a subject that you have low
defenses or something I don' t know.
283
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:55.680
I' m sorry to exempt everything
that was thought that the masculinion or
284
00:18:55.960 --> 00:19:04.839
infomana was champion. But, well, I' m racist, but I
285
00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:07.440
' m calm because we live in
a country that' s racist. Spain
286
00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:10.720
is a racist country. What are
you going to deny me? Or will
287
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:14.480
you deny it? During the first
six months of the conflict with refugees in
288
00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:18.599
Spain have we only admitted eighteen refugees? People who are joining together, who
289
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:22.359
are moving away in a war,
Eighteen refugees in six months, because it
290
00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:25.200
was that they read this news and
live in another country, they must think
291
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:29.759
that here, in Spain, we
are at full capacity that every time I
292
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:41.079
have a refugee for France, a
Galician falls down Cape Finisterey. No improvement.
293
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:45.279
Eighteen in six months is an average
of three a month, which must
294
00:19:45.279 --> 00:19:48.240
be the minimum so that we don' t realize it the same. A
295
00:19:48.279 --> 00:19:49.799
month they put four in and my
uncle said uh that I' ve seen
296
00:19:49.799 --> 00:19:55.359
one more. Uh, from respect. But, I don' t know,
297
00:19:55.920 --> 00:19:56.359
we' re going out, we' re going out. I believe
298
00:19:56.400 --> 00:20:00.599
that racism, because it comes out
depends, it arises apart from fear,
299
00:20:00.880 --> 00:20:04.160
racism we have not invented by the
white race, because if we would not
300
00:20:04.720 --> 00:20:08.079
have extinguished the woman. It always
tends to breed with the smarter, stronger
301
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:15.680
males. Forgotten from Borkatis, in
stronger, smarter males. You think that
302
00:20:15.720 --> 00:20:18.359
if we go out, we go
out on equal terms with the other ethnicities,
303
00:20:19.160 --> 00:20:26.720
we would have some chance of success. Really think about it. Let
304
00:20:26.759 --> 00:20:30.559
' s split it up. African- American people, people of color,
305
00:20:30.640 --> 00:20:33.000
are ten percent taller, the pit
in the hole gets much wider, not
306
00:20:33.039 --> 00:20:37.519
allowing them to breathe much more oxygen. Black hair is carpeted, pure,
307
00:20:37.880 --> 00:20:41.279
don' t fuck with me.
It is believed that the Belcro invented there
308
00:20:41.359 --> 00:20:52.039
a photo that two were taken and
what you are all thinking the abs are
309
00:20:52.160 --> 00:21:02.799
even in the dick. No,
but come on, let' s go
310
00:21:02.839 --> 00:21:06.519
with the Latinos and see how fast
they move the hips of Latinos don'
311
00:21:06.519 --> 00:21:07.319
t fuck with me. It'
s the best spoiler they are in bed.
312
00:21:07.680 --> 00:21:11.039
I can' t move the chain
that speed. I have a cilobatiente
313
00:21:11.160 --> 00:21:15.000
movement, continuous and careful, because
I fall anyway, I no longer recover.
314
00:21:15.079 --> 00:21:18.440
But what speed faster than the human
eye is the speed of light and
315
00:21:18.519 --> 00:21:23.440
the Latin beating. And then,
because the Bolivian lament, down here,
316
00:21:25.680 --> 00:21:27.599
they move at a speed. Now
don' t ask them for coffee in
317
00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:37.079
a coffee shop, eh pussy,
put it on me, dancing and what
318
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:40.000
and what language proficiency Latinos have.
They' re staring you in the face.
319
00:21:40.119 --> 00:21:44.119
They tell you they have a sad
mommy look. That' s why
320
00:21:44.119 --> 00:21:48.160
you' re missing lime If you' ve seen milk fill you up,
321
00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:53.160
you' re bilingual. Let'
s go to all the Chinese. We
322
00:21:53.160 --> 00:21:56.039
can run the bull that the Chinese
have it small, but a woman when
323
00:21:56.079 --> 00:21:59.480
I note it head- on,
she' ll go well, she'
324
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:00.319
s got it small, but at
least she' s got it so low.
325
00:22:08.720 --> 00:22:14.000
If racism did not exist, we
would have extinguished them all. Thank
326
00:22:14.079 --> 00:22:15.640
you very much. It has been
a pleasure for you thanks to the boss, our
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:17.600
Comedy Central Podcast, what' s
up? Good night, how are you?
2
00:00:17.640 --> 00:00:22.519
You' re having a good time, this morning I was at the
3
00:00:22.679 --> 00:00:24.559
gym by mistake and I was recognized
by a guy. He told me fuck,
4
00:00:24.800 --> 00:00:28.600
you' re squeaking at the mantle, comedian this Comedy Central, tell
5
00:00:28.600 --> 00:00:30.600
yourself a few jokes, then nothing. I threw the heavy on him He
6
00:00:30.640 --> 00:00:41.079
broke his chest. Why am I
counting this? Why am I counting this?
7
00:00:41.079 --> 00:00:43.799
Because this thing that I and my
colleagues are doing, this is a
8
00:00:43.799 --> 00:00:48.159
job. We charge with your laughs, then pay, we pay in tears.
9
00:00:48.240 --> 00:00:51.520
No, but it' s a
job I still have to put up
10
00:00:51.600 --> 00:00:54.159
with some friend or family member saying
good, Richard, but you, other
11
00:00:54.359 --> 00:00:56.479
than this, will do something else, Uncle, because look the same and
12
00:00:56.560 --> 00:01:02.240
you, when you' re not
working things and so not long ago,
13
00:01:02.439 --> 00:01:04.040
a friend was out of work,
had to pay the mortgage. Then he
14
00:01:04.079 --> 00:01:10.000
placed himself at night in a dark, discreet alley, but crowded. He
15
00:01:10.000 --> 00:01:18.120
put himself there at night to masturbate
people, mainly men. He told us
16
00:01:18.159 --> 00:01:23.319
he worked in a fur shop.
Yeah, but the thing is, one
17
00:01:23.359 --> 00:01:26.519
night I finished acting and I walked
by and I saw him as a listener.
18
00:01:26.719 --> 00:01:29.879
I' m your quiet uncle friend. It' s okay. I
19
00:01:29.959 --> 00:01:32.599
' m not gonna tell anyone anything, but never be ashamed of your job.
20
00:01:32.640 --> 00:01:42.680
If this makes people happy, now
don' t charge me. A
21
00:01:42.760 --> 00:01:47.560
week ago I was acting in a
place a little smaller than this one in
22
00:01:47.560 --> 00:01:49.920
Gerona, and I got to the
owner of the room and I asked him
23
00:01:49.319 --> 00:01:57.000
hey, gentleman, how is the
gentile here in Gerona and tell me people
24
00:01:57.040 --> 00:01:59.560
come down to see how I explain
to this guy now that he has to
25
00:01:59.560 --> 00:02:02.040
invoice me. No, but good. Eye, eye, eye. I
26
00:02:02.079 --> 00:02:06.040
' m not messing with cataluña or
anything. I don' t care if
27
00:02:06.120 --> 00:02:08.120
cataluñas independencia, I don' t
care. I' d be annoyed if
28
00:02:08.120 --> 00:02:13.159
you were to become independent, because
I go every summer you' ve come,
29
00:02:13.240 --> 00:02:15.120
not and fuck me across a country
to go to the beach. No.
30
00:02:15.159 --> 00:02:19.039
But good. I think that'
s good, because people should vote
31
00:02:19.080 --> 00:02:21.840
for more things better. We'
re used to voting. I see people
32
00:02:21.919 --> 00:02:24.599
on the street that go like this. We' re used to it.
33
00:02:24.599 --> 00:02:29.319
It would eliminate the day of reflection, because the day of reflection is useless.
34
00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:31.240
The last times we voted was the
next day there was all the shit
35
00:02:31.280 --> 00:02:37.919
we' ve done. So nothing. As we are already used to throwing
36
00:02:37.919 --> 00:02:39.080
away, voting everyone, voting animals, voting children, no, no,
37
00:02:39.400 --> 00:02:42.280
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
38
00:02:42.360 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
39
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
40
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
41
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
42
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
43
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
44
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
45
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
46
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
47
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
48
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
49
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
50
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
51
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
52
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
53
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
54
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
55
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
56
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
57
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
58
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
59
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
60
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
61
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
62
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
63
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
64
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
65
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
66
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
67
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
68
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:42.520
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
69
00:02:42.520 --> 00:02:52.080
no, no, no, no
No, but recently, I was looking
70
00:02:52.120 --> 00:02:55.360
at a poll that related to people' s cinematographic tastes based on their intention
71
00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:59.479
to vote. I mean, that' s what you like, because this
72
00:02:59.599 --> 00:03:01.560
is what you vote for. People
who vote, citizens are fans of Star
73
00:03:01.639 --> 00:03:08.719
Wars. So Tan Tan? Tan? Tan? Tan? Tan? Tan?
74
00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:17.280
Tan? Tan? Tan? Not
especially because of the awakening of force,
75
00:03:17.639 --> 00:03:24.240
although they have finally been the phantom
threat. No. People who vote
76
00:03:24.360 --> 00:03:38.240
for the EPP prefer dinosaur movies.
Tino Ninoni' s still alive. The
77
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:47.319
people who vote are more Titanic.
You don' t have to explain anything
78
00:03:47.319 --> 00:03:54.680
here. Those who vote for us
are fans of Tarantino' s cinema.
79
00:03:57.039 --> 00:04:01.599
You know a lot of talk,
and in the end, it' s
80
00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:02.639
safe violence, not Upei' s, if he didn' t say anything.
81
00:04:03.879 --> 00:04:09.879
But I already say which one in
the movie of Upid Manolete if you
82
00:04:10.000 --> 00:04:12.439
don' t know how to fight
for what you' re getting into.
83
00:04:12.560 --> 00:04:17.279
You' ve seen the movie,
you' ve seen it all doesn'
84
00:04:17.319 --> 00:04:19.199
t fit, because the mannel film
tells you the story. It' s
85
00:04:19.240 --> 00:04:23.120
an American movie. It tells the
story of this popular bullfighter, the Francoist
86
00:04:23.120 --> 00:04:25.399
Spain and the host on empotrator.
He hasn' t brushed everything that moved.
87
00:04:25.879 --> 00:04:28.000
He fell in love with a woman
and did not reciprocate. Then he
88
00:04:28.040 --> 00:04:34.959
sat on the cocaine and got caught
by a bull about the cocaine. If
89
00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:41.319
Franco had had pharlopa. But you
can tell the hand of American screenwriters clearly
90
00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:45.040
know that the pharlopa goes very well
to kill. They' re bullfighters,
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00:04:45.160 --> 00:04:47.639
too They' re not gonna get
out of Mdman' s shoes. Come
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00:04:47.639 --> 00:04:53.680
here, come here, come here? Come here? Come here? Handsome,
93
00:04:53.839 --> 00:04:57.199
handsome? Come here, come here? Come here? See here?
94
00:04:58.480 --> 00:05:01.160
All right, all right, all
right here? Come here? Come here?
95
00:05:01.480 --> 00:05:12.040
Come here? U I have it, we have it, and these
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00:05:12.120 --> 00:05:15.000
eggs and this today I smell what
a fain or, what a black,
97
00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:17.120
what a horn, what a cool
people and these villages and these pits.
98
00:05:18.519 --> 00:05:27.959
But the full banchan lifts you up
there already seems to be Spanish. But,
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00:05:28.319 --> 00:05:30.920
hey, I' m talking about
this. But I have no fucking
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00:05:30.000 --> 00:05:32.399
idea about bulls. I have no
idea. I' ve asked people who
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00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:35.240
understand what' s cool about hearing. The spectacle of this says it cool,
102
00:05:35.279 --> 00:05:39.680
for it is a spectacle in which
the presence of death hovers and this
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00:05:39.720 --> 00:05:44.920
makes it attractive. So if this
is why you can go to a park
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00:05:44.959 --> 00:05:49.800
to watch a game of petanga,
not just and at any time by death
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00:05:49.879 --> 00:05:59.879
can also appear. Can' t
the truth, the truth is that I
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00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:04.560
don' t know if if you
know that both artists and bullfighters share the
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00:06:04.560 --> 00:06:08.480
same quote regime, yes, yes, for every day worked are two listed
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00:06:08.519 --> 00:06:12.439
and now I' m working and
contributing. Tomorrow I' ll be just
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00:06:12.439 --> 00:06:14.839
making a quote and drunk. I
can afford it. But if recently they
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criticized a mogollón to fran Rivera because
he came out, he went out torturing
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00:06:17.800 --> 00:06:21.279
with his son in arms you agree, not people on social networks and put
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00:06:21.319 --> 00:06:25.360
him back and a half, I
mean the flip people get a comparison even
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00:06:25.399 --> 00:06:28.000
with Michael Jackson, when he taught
his daughter for lamenting in a hotel.
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00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:30.639
And this has nothing to do with
it. He didn' t say Michael
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00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:33.279
Jackson when he was hanging on a
fifth floor is much safer. There in
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00:06:33.319 --> 00:06:46.199
the room. No sasus Hedia,
it would be fran Rivera, because he
117
00:06:46.199 --> 00:06:48.480
was contributing. No. But,
objectively, if the bullfighters did not exist,
118
00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:54.480
there would be no proof of paternity, which was before the paternity test
119
00:06:54.560 --> 00:06:57.560
or the bullfighter, for the truth
is not known. But we' ve
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00:06:57.560 --> 00:06:59.680
come to this point. If I' d like to talk about one thing,
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00:06:59.680 --> 00:07:00.720
I think it' s important.
You know they' ve banned the
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00:07:00.759 --> 00:07:01.759
bull from the vega. You know
it, you know it' s been
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00:07:01.759 --> 00:07:04.240
proven. No bull of the vega
is that he will release the bull in
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00:07:04.279 --> 00:07:09.560
the field and go to people armed
with spears, pinchos, pencils pending,
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00:07:09.720 --> 00:07:13.560
anything that will pinch and have to
kill him. Okay. The prohibition is
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00:07:13.560 --> 00:07:16.680
that they cannot kill the bull in
public. There' s the torsillas trying
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00:07:16.800 --> 00:07:20.240
to put doors on the field That' s fine. We agree. No,
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00:07:20.519 --> 00:07:25.720
cruelty should not be a cause for
celebration in a civilized society. Well,
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00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:28.480
it' s not worth it.
But what about the buñol tomatina?
130
00:07:30.839 --> 00:07:32.839
The animals do, but the plants
grow by the ass, that is,
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00:07:32.959 --> 00:07:36.120
every summer, millions of innocent tomatoes, very spattered among the mules of sweaty
132
00:07:36.120 --> 00:07:41.279
drunks and nobody says anything that is
going to be August to ask for a
133
00:07:41.319 --> 00:07:44.879
gapacho and it is noticed that it
is much clearer. It' s not
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00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:46.920
true. The same way we feel
when we see the bull in the vega.
135
00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:48.959
The vegans feel them, when they
see the bony tomatine. Let'
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00:07:49.000 --> 00:07:53.920
s empathize with the vegans who are
going to starve to death, let'
137
00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:55.600
s empathize with them to crush the
vegetables. It' s not art or
138
00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:09.920
culture. It' s not the
mooring, it' s not the debuñol,
139
00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:11.920
the bonnets defend themselves and say no. But if the tomato doesn'
140
00:08:13.160 --> 00:08:15.519
t suffer, it' s fine, but the tomato gives us fantastic things.
141
00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:18.680
Tomato is antioxidant. Prevents cancer.
It is present in all diets,
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00:08:18.959 --> 00:08:24.079
better the taste of semmedi and vaginal
discharge. You didn' t know this,
143
00:08:24.240 --> 00:08:33.559
because yes, it' s antioxidant. But good are traditions. We
144
00:08:33.639 --> 00:08:37.200
have traditions here in Spain, and
traditions all over the world. In India
145
00:08:37.240 --> 00:08:43.600
they venerate alabata looks like in Germany, it is not in the United States.
146
00:08:43.919 --> 00:08:48.159
In the United States, they celebrate
Vale Marmot Day in the United States.
147
00:08:48.159 --> 00:08:52.200
It' s this country that'
s some sewer smoke. It'
148
00:08:52.279 --> 00:08:56.240
s the only place they let you
smoke. If so, for the Nindia
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00:08:56.279 --> 00:09:00.159
turtles. They don' t smoke. They don' t smoke because they
150
00:09:00.159 --> 00:09:01.639
have three fingers, because every time
they give a draught, they cover their
151
00:09:01.679 --> 00:09:05.159
faces and they can kill them.
No. No, they can' t
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00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:07.120
smoke. On the day of the
marmot, their States are all placed around
153
00:09:07.120 --> 00:09:09.279
the burrow. If the marmot comes
out that good doesn' t end.
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00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:15.120
If the speck doesn' t come
out the winter will last a little longer.
155
00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:16.080
This is what my whole life here
in Spain has known how my knee
156
00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:22.639
hurts. This is gonna change the
time. But clear to the Americans is
157
00:09:22.679 --> 00:09:26.360
not the joints, because they have
private exit. That' s where you
158
00:09:26.360 --> 00:09:28.879
get more. You have to pay
for it. It' s a luxury,
159
00:09:30.360 --> 00:09:33.679
an appendicitis operation, which is this
here costing thirty- six zero bucks,
160
00:09:33.879 --> 00:09:39.440
the same as a porch shuts down
how you stay that' s less
161
00:09:39.440 --> 00:09:41.559
bad than us. They don'
t give us the choice. No,
162
00:09:41.000 --> 00:09:58.639
because if we weren' t all
going to get a five- hundred-
163
00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:00.200
dollar flu, get a ten-
dollar bonus. I don' t know
164
00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:01.759
three zero a day flu dollar if
we make you twenty percent of the story
165
00:10:01.840 --> 00:10:05.799
in your next candidiasis. I don' t know something like that. I
166
00:10:05.840 --> 00:10:09.639
think this country and now I get
serious. I think this country will go
167
00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:13.120
to hell for the day we have
to pay for a rectal touch. Now
168
00:10:13.200 --> 00:10:18.159
we tolerate it because it' s
free, but the day we have to
169
00:10:18.159 --> 00:10:20.320
pay for it, people don'
t like to get things in their eyes.
170
00:10:20.360 --> 00:10:22.120
No. No. No, no, people don' t tolerate it?
171
00:10:22.279 --> 00:10:28.960
No, he can' t stand
it for love. There are some
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00:10:30.000 --> 00:10:33.639
who are empathizing with me. Well, I don' t get sick.
173
00:10:33.799 --> 00:10:37.720
I get sick because I' m
autonomous. The self- employed don'
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00:10:37.720 --> 00:10:39.679
t get sick. The last autonomous
who followed down the times of the CID
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00:10:39.759 --> 00:10:43.360
champion, who was the CID,
because he was killed by the CID was
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00:10:43.399 --> 00:10:46.879
the first autonomous in history. In
fact, he went to work until he
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00:10:46.879 --> 00:10:48.639
was dead. I mean, that' s right. This City death thing
178
00:10:48.639 --> 00:10:52.240
is in the hemerotecas. According to
the country, it was a brawl with
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00:10:52.240 --> 00:10:54.919
two Mozarabics, because according to reason, it was three shit monkeys. No,
180
00:10:56.200 --> 00:11:03.120
but that meant mine. No.
But, well, I think betrayals
181
00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:09.480
serve to reaffirm the identity of a
broad social group. Traditions have to please
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00:11:09.480 --> 00:11:15.120
us all, like the nap,
to which yes I propose right now,
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00:11:15.360 --> 00:11:18.480
here today, in this room establish, as Spanish tradition, the obligatory daily
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00:11:18.519 --> 00:11:26.120
masturbation every morning when you rise from
bed to touch, even as the i
185
00:11:26.159 --> 00:11:31.519
a teacher three times a day and
with a full stomach. If you masturbate
186
00:11:31.519 --> 00:11:35.440
a lot, your eyes shine,
your skin is much smoother. It'
187
00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:37.440
s true that you' re going
a little looser for life. No,
188
00:11:37.559 --> 00:11:39.440
but if we all go the same, it' s okay. No.
189
00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:46.600
No one' s died from masturbating
too much or we' ve all got
190
00:11:46.600 --> 00:11:48.399
people for masturbating weird. If you
put a bag on the furo cart on
191
00:11:48.440 --> 00:11:52.399
your head, I know how to
put it on the market that doesn'
192
00:11:54.440 --> 00:11:56.960
t have grute, no, no, but it' s true to the
193
00:11:56.960 --> 00:11:58.519
masturation nothing more than I find it. Virtues, no one recommends it.
194
00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:01.039
You go to the doctor doctor who
couldn' t, because take these pills
195
00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:05.320
already, but I don' t
want pills, because take a drink ah
196
00:12:05.320 --> 00:12:07.799
came before bed, man, I
miss the doctor tell me look boy you
197
00:12:07.840 --> 00:12:18.000
before you put the bed. Stab
it in English. Good as it is.
198
00:12:18.039 --> 00:12:22.480
This speech may seem frivolous. Okay, no. Masturbation is like talking
199
00:12:22.519 --> 00:12:26.720
about time with yourself. Okay,
I buy it for you, but when
200
00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:28.919
you masturbate, it allows you to
see your life in perspective, because when
201
00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:31.840
you' re doing there are people
who are remembering the past. Others are
202
00:12:31.919 --> 00:12:37.840
imagining the future. Others prefer to
settle in the present in front of a
203
00:12:37.960 --> 00:12:41.639
computer pant. The present does not
fail, unless you run out of WiFi
204
00:12:41.759 --> 00:12:45.919
does not fail past. The future
is more dangerous, because they belong to
205
00:12:45.919 --> 00:12:48.440
the field of imagination. I don' t know about you, but mine
206
00:12:48.440 --> 00:12:52.240
has no borders. I was recently
peeling her hard, hard, thinking,
207
00:12:54.320 --> 00:12:58.159
thinking about Tenlu and the world.
At the height of the moment my grandmother
208
00:13:00.639 --> 00:13:05.840
appeared to you you also like the
program less bad that there is wall not,
209
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:09.799
but if not in masturbasm, we
would all relate to people in a
210
00:13:09.879 --> 00:13:13.200
much more selfless way. There'
s no more sexual interest, you'
211
00:13:13.320 --> 00:13:16.440
re no longer with a person you' re thinking look. I want to
212
00:13:16.440 --> 00:13:18.120
buzz me. I want her to
buzz me. I want no buzzing.
213
00:13:18.440 --> 00:13:31.320
You think well, I' ll
listen to that yes, but let'
214
00:13:31.320 --> 00:13:31.919
s do a test. Everyone in
the room, you' re enough people.
215
00:13:33.639 --> 00:13:35.879
Let' s do a test.
I would like you to applaud all
216
00:13:35.919 --> 00:13:39.240
those who agree that we should establish, as a Spanish tradition, compulsory daily
217
00:13:39.240 --> 00:13:41.639
masturbation. And I say obligatory because
I don' t know anyone who,
218
00:13:43.039 --> 00:13:46.399
after touching this bad mood that'
s here, you dare shut up that
219
00:13:46.399 --> 00:13:50.000
doesn' t exist. Okay.
You' re prepared for an epic moment
220
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:54.679
on television. You' re ready. Applaud all those who agree. Let
221
00:13:54.720 --> 00:14:13.759
' s be clear. Okay.
An anti- masturbator forum can always emerge.
222
00:14:16.600 --> 00:14:28.759
We won' t be called clean
hands, but this would make my
223
00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:31.559
life much more enjoyable. Call me
an asshole, but I' m cool.
224
00:14:31.600 --> 00:14:35.200
To live a mathematical question. There
are more dead than alive. Me
225
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:39.720
living. I feel special to myself
to feel like the Iberian lynx. Sounds
226
00:14:39.759 --> 00:14:46.759
like enough reason to touch me.
Recently there' s a tradition we'
227
00:14:46.840 --> 00:14:48.480
ve given him a gill. We' ve done the update, which is
228
00:14:48.519 --> 00:14:52.200
the Dead Day. Now it'
s called Halloween. It looks like a
229
00:14:52.279 --> 00:15:01.519
Nazi Halloween greeting, a dictation called
wen findo, instead, the Day of
230
00:15:01.559 --> 00:15:05.720
the Dead. The Day of the
Dead. The name is no longer so
231
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:07.399
cool that it is no more,
because it reminds us all that we are
232
00:15:07.440 --> 00:15:11.679
going to die. And that'
s what happens now. You didn'
233
00:15:11.720 --> 00:15:16.799
t think you were immortal. There' s someone out there who thinks.
234
00:15:16.960 --> 00:15:20.679
No. Me? Don' t
you? Me? Me? Me?
235
00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:22.679
Don' t you? Don'
t you? Me? Don' t
236
00:15:22.679 --> 00:15:26.320
you? Me? I have every
season to know how to live. We
237
00:15:26.399 --> 00:15:30.759
' re going to put on a
wooden pajamite. Everybody' s fucking dying
238
00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:33.559
lately. Mogollón of musicians recently put
Leonard co in David Powie Prints and one
239
00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:39.840
that played the triangle. They shouldn' t be riding a macro festival in
240
00:15:39.919 --> 00:15:46.120
the afterlife rock No, but well
he died. Nelson Mandela died, Nelson
241
00:15:46.320 --> 00:15:50.240
died for friends, Mandela died for
others. Nelson Mandela' s last words
242
00:15:50.279 --> 00:15:56.240
were as follows. A lot of
people have paid a price before me and
243
00:15:56.320 --> 00:16:02.440
a lot of people will keep paying
a price after me. I think he
244
00:16:02.440 --> 00:16:07.200
' s talking about the serious toll
problem. But of course, as Mandela
245
00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:11.320
is, everything he says has to
do with racism that he didn' t
246
00:16:11.399 --> 00:16:14.440
do so much and spent his whole
life in jail. It was that interesting
247
00:16:14.519 --> 00:16:25.279
pictures. This is not the way
to be faithful in solidarity. Why I
248
00:16:25.279 --> 00:16:27.919
count this. Because I count this, because now I' m going to
249
00:16:27.919 --> 00:16:30.440
open my little heart. Okay.
That' s where it happens with the
250
00:16:30.440 --> 00:16:32.639
immigrants. I don' t know
if there' ll be any here.
251
00:16:32.639 --> 00:16:34.759
Statistically, there have to be some. Okay, it happens to me with
252
00:16:34.759 --> 00:16:37.759
the immigrants. I understand they'
re people. I don' t see
253
00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:41.799
them inferior. I don' t, but I feel a little bit superior
254
00:16:41.200 --> 00:16:45.399
because I' m in my country. It' s not patriotism. No.
255
00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:48.120
No, no, no. No, it' s a very Spanish
256
00:16:48.200 --> 00:16:55.200
concept that we have here, very
rooted, which is ancient. The last
257
00:16:55.240 --> 00:16:59.159
one to get here and eat the
shit. Lin was the one who started
258
00:16:59.240 --> 00:17:03.799
the cod in school Who was the
one who kicked it the repeater, of
259
00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:06.920
course as the one in which it
took the longest, for we accepted a
260
00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:11.559
fucking illiterate as our leader, antiquity, very dangerous, eye, age wins
261
00:17:15.240 --> 00:17:26.319
lessons process For this reason, the
immigrants who come to our country are going
262
00:17:26.359 --> 00:17:29.200
to have the worst jobs, the
worst salaries, and you have a very
263
00:17:29.240 --> 00:17:30.000
bad move with them. You have
to do it to get the police to
264
00:17:30.039 --> 00:17:34.559
agree. I usually get self-
esteem in immigrants. I live in Ulsera
265
00:17:34.599 --> 00:17:37.960
' s neighborhood. It' s
got Latins on it. I feel a
266
00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:45.319
little taller there. Yes, for
the same reason that Maria Teresa Campos the
267
00:17:45.400 --> 00:17:59.359
Telecinco feels much more journalist. It' s the same thing I' ve
268
00:17:59.359 --> 00:18:00.519
looked at in the dictionary. Cash, you' re a little bit racist.
269
00:18:00.599 --> 00:18:03.720
I' m not a low-
cost racism, it' s a
270
00:18:03.720 --> 00:18:06.839
low- cost racism. I don' t have to bill for my prejudices.
271
00:18:07.039 --> 00:18:08.079
Don' t look at me bad. It' s not right.
272
00:18:08.160 --> 00:18:11.640
You don' t know there'
s no such thing as a racist.
273
00:18:11.400 --> 00:18:15.519
Otherwise, it doesn' t exist, it doesn' t exist. Must
274
00:18:15.559 --> 00:18:18.559
be the same. The dictionary was
not prepared for such solidarity. Yeah,
275
00:18:19.720 --> 00:18:25.200
it can be tolerant, no,
because it' s not the same thing
276
00:18:25.279 --> 00:18:26.599
to be intolerant as being racist.
I can be lactose intolerant, but I
277
00:18:26.680 --> 00:18:30.200
don' t care about insurance I
mean, I don' t see a
278
00:18:30.240 --> 00:18:36.319
yogun and tell him to get back
to your fucking cow. Of course,
279
00:18:36.640 --> 00:18:40.400
it' s just dictionary flaws.
They are faults that have as well as
280
00:18:40.440 --> 00:18:42.359
the male of nymphomaniac, nymphoma.
He doesn' t show up anywhere.
281
00:18:42.960 --> 00:18:48.880
It must be that nymphomania is a
subject that only affects you girls It'
282
00:18:48.880 --> 00:18:52.319
s a subject that you have low
defenses or something I don' t know.
283
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:55.680
I' m sorry to exempt everything
that was thought that the masculinion or
284
00:18:55.960 --> 00:19:04.839
infomana was champion. But, well, I' m racist, but I
285
00:19:04.839 --> 00:19:07.440
' m calm because we live in
a country that' s racist. Spain
286
00:19:07.480 --> 00:19:10.720
is a racist country. What are
you going to deny me? Or will
287
00:19:10.759 --> 00:19:14.480
you deny it? During the first
six months of the conflict with refugees in
288
00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:18.599
Spain have we only admitted eighteen refugees? People who are joining together, who
289
00:19:18.640 --> 00:19:22.359
are moving away in a war,
Eighteen refugees in six months, because it
290
00:19:22.440 --> 00:19:25.200
was that they read this news and
live in another country, they must think
291
00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:29.759
that here, in Spain, we
are at full capacity that every time I
292
00:19:29.799 --> 00:19:41.079
have a refugee for France, a
Galician falls down Cape Finisterey. No improvement.
293
00:19:41.200 --> 00:19:45.279
Eighteen in six months is an average
of three a month, which must
294
00:19:45.279 --> 00:19:48.240
be the minimum so that we don' t realize it the same. A
295
00:19:48.279 --> 00:19:49.799
month they put four in and my
uncle said uh that I' ve seen
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one more. Uh, from respect. But, I don' t know,
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we' re going out, we' re going out. I believe
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that racism, because it comes out
depends, it arises apart from fear,
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racism we have not invented by the
white race, because if we would not
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have extinguished the woman. It always
tends to breed with the smarter, stronger
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males. Forgotten from Borkatis, in
stronger, smarter males. You think that
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if we go out, we go
out on equal terms with the other ethnicities,
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we would have some chance of success. Really think about it. Let
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' s split it up. African- American people, people of color,
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are ten percent taller, the pit
in the hole gets much wider, not
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allowing them to breathe much more oxygen. Black hair is carpeted, pure,
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don' t fuck with me.
It is believed that the Belcro invented there
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a photo that two were taken and
what you are all thinking the abs are
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00:20:52.160 --> 00:21:02.799
even in the dick. No,
but come on, let' s go
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with the Latinos and see how fast
they move the hips of Latinos don'
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t fuck with me. It'
s the best spoiler they are in bed.
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I can' t move the chain
that speed. I have a cilobatiente
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movement, continuous and careful, because
I fall anyway, I no longer recover.
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But what speed faster than the human
eye is the speed of light and
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the Latin beating. And then,
because the Bolivian lament, down here,
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they move at a speed. Now
don' t ask them for coffee in
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a coffee shop, eh pussy,
put it on me, dancing and what
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and what language proficiency Latinos have.
They' re staring you in the face.
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They tell you they have a sad
mommy look. That' s why
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you' re missing lime If you' ve seen milk fill you up,
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you' re bilingual. Let'
s go to all the Chinese. We
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can run the bull that the Chinese
have it small, but a woman when
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I note it head- on,
she' ll go well, she'
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s got it small, but at
least she' s got it so low.
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If racism did not exist, we
would have extinguished them all. Thank
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you very much. It has been
a pleasure for you thanks to the boss, our








