July 16, 2024
Juanjo Albiñana - Soy motero
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J Comedy Central Podcast. Hahahaha Ha, Well, Well, Well, Good
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night, yes I introduce myself,
my name is Juan Juel Villana. I
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' m an executor there, I
grew up, I grew up too much
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as you can see. I'
m fat and see what he' s
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trying to fix. For example,
you' ll all know that wearing slimming
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black clothes, as I spent six
months with the hearsay black shirt and I
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didn' t lose a kilo.
You know and look and see that before
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I was much better than now.
I was so fat, I got tired
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of climbing stairs. What do you
say, Juanjo, everybody' s getting
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married up stairs. I mean escalator. You know, that' s where
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I got tired and how Montes was
better. I was joking. I was
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told, Jun Joa what do you
do I say I' m the one
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who sweeps away ah sweeper not the
one that' s going to burst.
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Hey, what are you doing?
Look, he' s traveled all over
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Spain, I' ve heard different
ways to call him the fat ones and
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in my land, in Albacete,
that' s where I' ve heard
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the strongest insult for a fat man. Look what I explain on the scale
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of insults for fat is fat normal, fat shit, it' s happening
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to you and the maximum is you' re lustrous. There' s fat
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shit about nocilla. Hey, like
I don' t know, put me
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down once at the Albacete fair.
It' s good the day after the
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performance. I' m going around
the fair walking around I look old.
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The elders are super sincere. He
tells me tones the casto shop there in
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the tent. Essa I' m
not saying yes I' m saying she
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' s known as being like this. Lustrous or leftover old bastard. I
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' m not fat, it'
s like those people say, it'
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s not about metabolism, it'
s not that I don' t have
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liquid. No, no, I' m fat because I like to eat
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pussy. Besides, I really love
cheese. These so famous I can'
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t say marks. I' m
gonna say the ad music. Go go
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go, go live. Well,
I screwed up. I love this is
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that what happens, is that they' re well- tied, especially the
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red part. I can' t
do it with her You know I know
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that. And besides, here where
you see me chubby and such he likes
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a lot of sport. One thing
I love to do is play a game
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with colleagues. The whore of these
games, with friends it' s time,
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while with an official game it'
s two parts of forty- five
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minutes with your colleagues. The time
is until you die you can be three
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hours playing, uh, messing up
the whole doorman, eating pipes. You
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' ll tell me how to eat
pipes with gloves. You know the other
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command a joint. Hey, man, come on in, then pass it
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to your son- of- a- bitch. There' s not always
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one like a color shirt from either
team. You don' t know who
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' s coming. You know.
And the strongest thing is that when you
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' ve been playing for two hours
and fifty- seven minutes, one asks
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how much we' re going.
I tell us to put thirty- two
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to zero and another one doesn'
t go, four to six, we
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don' t go to seven or
eight. Until you say the magic phrase,
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come the one who marks wins and
you say shit. Why I'
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ve been here for two hours and
fifty- seven minutes hitting goals, man,
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that' s what you' re
fucking or I' m fucking for.
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Then, the normal thing is that
you' re having a few reeds
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with colleagues and one says hey man, it' s been two months since
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we played football and one says you' re going to. I' m
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picking up the last fucker. I
don' t like sports very much.
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Strange things happen to me with sport. He' s recently stopped with the
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car and he was at a traffic
light and I see in the back,
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there' s the center of a
guy' s face. So what the
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hell is going on? I get
out of the car, I go to
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the back and I see the guy
in a racket at hand, dressed as
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a tennis player, looking at the
tennis ball that I have the rowing ball
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that you know that typical ball.
I' m not saying what you'
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re doing, says Prandor, I
know I' m saying you' re
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a dumb guy. I mean,
I really like tennis. There' s
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one thing I think life needs to
be done. I' ve gone a
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tennis game from this nadal rafa and
in one of those silences towards the game
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and scream that mythical phrase of let' s go rat. I did it
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once. I did it once in
one of these games was Yokobis versus ber
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said there was nothing. You know, uh, yeah, I don'
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t, Covic. I eat I
look at myself as saying Wat Fack Man,
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that this in castella meant something,
as well as what it says lustrous
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uh no. I don' t
know. I really like sport, for
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example, formula one. I follow
him a lot, but I have to
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say there would be someone. Someone
has to say, and it' s
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just that Formula One cars are a
shitty minimum that the car asks for a
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small piece, separates half the track. I' ve got an opl stuff
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from the 29th year, actually,
three hundred and two miles. I'
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ve lost suspension screw, engine pistons, two turbines, some reactor, bononse
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de autos and it' s still
miles away and I don' t know
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what limit the formula is going to
reach. One day I imagine Fernando alone
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there on the wheel of prey saying
we had to leave the race because we
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lost one of the stickers was from
the pot Santander, which is our sponsor
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and it is not what I have, it is what I am and that
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you are millionaire and you not that
there is a silly thing that has occurred
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to me incredible and I will tell
it. I' ll leave it there.
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And I just think that speaking of
fernandaloso, which is asturian, I
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think the playmobiles, the mythical dolls, that we' ve all had in
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childhood. I don' t suppose
you know them by the Cliffam Movil.
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I think they' re from Asturias, because the only way they have to
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drink is to sing and watch.
I leave it there you know the loose
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one that and the truth is that
many of the homobrologists pull it out watching
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TV, I watch it with my
mother, it' s albacete and it
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gives me a different perspective of television
coming out of her comments. For example,
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I saw with her a documentary about
astrology. They did not say that
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the earth travels through space at a
speed of two hundred and fifty kilometers.
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For the second time, my mother
has nothing but a right to say plainly
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and I' m always tamed.
Hey, I' ve been speculating albacete
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alege one day. One day I
took him to Santiago Bernabo that to see
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a Madrid Party was Bernabeu to burst
full of people and I deserve how unique
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this is. If it has to
see at least a thousand people here.
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My mom hasn' t had three
zeros, so I don' t hear
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that I know my mom' s
a normal mom. I believe that,
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like many mothers, it is carried
away by the horoscope paraimadre, everything that
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the horoscope says is totally true.
For example, my brother gets my head
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off not until I get something.
My mother let it be Taurus or get
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in bad milk. My brother starts
super brute to break it all at home
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and mother let him be euro recently
or with my brother on the phone and
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he was crying. I say it' s past. Says my girlfriend put
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the hides on me. I'
m saying clearly you' re auro uncle
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has no more than a bonded batho. No. No, no mother is
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a normal mother, my father,
also my parents in general. I think,
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like a lot of us here,
my parents took that nude baby picture
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of me. I think we all
have this one. Eh above the bed
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or bathe it. There are two
versions. To goes for families. Not
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that I wonder at what time,
if it happens to your parents to take
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that picture. No. I imagine
my mother just bathed me and my father
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came and said," Get lost" Don' t look at what I
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can think of Look, we'
re going to take a good picture of
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him, and when he gets older, we show those colleagues and we don
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' t laugh at him. The
worst thing about this joke is that comics,
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when we come up with something,
the first thing we do is point
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on the cell phone not so that
a note hasn' t been uploaded.
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No, and we usually shorten it
to take less, because I' m
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freaky lately because on my cell phone
I have a note about this joke in
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which she puts pictures. As a
naked baby. Imagine I lost my cell
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phone or they stole it from me. They' re gonna think I'
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m a priest. You know not
that as many monologues told him I took
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him out watching television and recently a
documentary about dolphins and said that dolphins masturbate
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with the deck of boats, that
is, from the top by the action.
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I in the background a cruiser thinks
shit. I fucked him, I
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mean, if he gets close to
him, they make the little crossover comes
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to my coral. I was fucking
sponge yesterday. I mean, there'
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s one thing that one thing the
animals are talking about and so there'
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s a fashion that has been put
on among the animal lovers is to have
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two dogs, one big big one
and the other little chip breed. This
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to be meant, the little one
is the food for the big one,
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or some for the indoors and some
for the outdoors. Not that, because
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like the parents who have two children, one of each igu, they take
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him out there to teach him and
the fat one they have in the garden.
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No bastards. Anyway, uh,
no, but that' s where
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I learned what to know. There
are programs that I had shown many said
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on TV and I had seen the
street not this one, that go to
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the best several of each city.
I realize in these reports that they do
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on the streets the moment that the
trapiche was in the video was the neighborhood,
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because the report asks the kid what
you do and the guy releases the
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most suspicious answer in the story,
which is a bit of everything. You
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have to make a living, which
is to ask him where his boy'
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s uncle is, you go to
college and there' s medical school,
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law school, and he gives him
a little of everything he makes a living
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for. Not what are subjects introduced
to the pharlopa atracama in monologous armada.
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I don' t know. No, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
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no, no, no I haven' t seen him get him in the
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middle of the desert, he has
to get out alive, he gets him
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in the middle of the jungle,
he has to get out alive. Faggots
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get in a street neighborhood to see
if he gets out alive. Hey,
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I want him not to get out
alive. Well, I' ll get
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out alive when I' m two, and speaking Spanish, I dressed with
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a chandal, all he can say
is this. Park here on parca,
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here you' re done fucking here, eh no, but burn that yes,
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the one I love is the one
in the room look No. I
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' ve seen Jimenez here. No, and this guy I' ve been
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following for many years. One day
he turned and told me what the Gilipolla
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does let me in pay to see
I just came to see what foolery.
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Well, I' ve been listening
to him for many years as a guy,
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especially on the radio, a few
years ago. I promise that I
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heard this saying there that jeme tells
you let' s hear a sisychophony in
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which you can hear clearly Don Pedro
and you hear so much, not so
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much, Eh, Don Pedro,
tendententer. The strongest thing is that,
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then he said let' s hear
a psychophony in which we haven' t
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really been able to figure out what
it says And don Pedro this guy has
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paranormal hearing. No, but what
a good time I' ve had with
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astro- tronologists. I travel a
lot. He traveled by plane. There
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' s a whore of being fat
and traveling by plane and it' s
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that the stewardesses before taking off,
they' re forced to count all the
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passengers man with the machine of Nuncio
Axel. From which click click click.
209
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:07.159
Of course, when I see myself
the aunt stops click liva calculating she tells
210
00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:09.519
me by eight the bastard you know
it doesn' t have to be easy
211
00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:11.840
to get her slippered well, because
they are also obliged to when the good
212
00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:13.440
arrives to their destination and leaves to
the passengers of the plane. They have
213
00:10:13.559 --> 00:10:16.480
to fire every passenger and like nice. When you' re looking forward to
214
00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:20.200
your home, you have to be
like you were doing that shake thanks to
215
00:10:20.279 --> 00:10:22.360
a raised, thank you CD bkt
By, thank you that what' s
216
00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:24.200
really going on is to get fucked
up assholes, come look at my house,
217
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:33.600
come on lustrous you know no that
I don' t know there aren
218
00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:35.080
' t any Holonnario. It happened
many times when I' m going to
219
00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:37.879
catch a flight, usually when you
get to the boarding gate, they ask
220
00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:39.600
for your boarding pass and you don' t. And sometimes I go with
221
00:10:39.639 --> 00:10:43.600
those big earphones that honor you to
hear it as a fucking sound. No.
222
00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:46.000
And when I' m boarding the
girl who' s there with the
223
00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:48.639
ticket, she tells me you have
to take off your headphones. I mean,
224
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:50.960
I didn' t pay for them. I hear you perfectly says it
225
00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:54.759
' s not to recognize you in
the DNEI drigo. Let' s see.
226
00:10:54.759 --> 00:10:56.360
Miss, you' re telling me
that if you go around your house,
227
00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:58.919
suddenly your little son shows up with
headphones. You' re gonna tell
228
00:11:00.039 --> 00:11:03.639
him who you are how you got
in here. No, no, no,
229
00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:07.039
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
230
00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:11.320
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
231
00:11:11.759 --> 00:11:11.080
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
232
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:11.080
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
233
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:11.080
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
234
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:22.679
no. Uh, apart from riding
motorcycle friends, apart from leaving na,
235
00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:24.399
there were lots of bikes traveling.
I' m a biker. We have
236
00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:26.960
some moter that tonight. I mean
big bike. I know that the derby
237
00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:30.240
varians and the trick is running a
lot. It' s mythical. That
238
00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:31.639
bike, uh, always has it
in a neighborhood car. Trick. That
239
00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:35.879
runs amazingly that I think it was
called different because it varied a lot from
240
00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:37.360
owners. You' d steal it
from someone else, so I' d
241
00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:39.879
take it down from there. No, but, well, someone here who
242
00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:41.840
has a big engine to raise your
hand over there, because you save like
243
00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:46.120
me when you do quietly for an
ottovia at 200 miles an hour. The
244
00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:50.360
typical, true, well, some
known that tonight. Well, some of
245
00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:52.360
you will be watching us in case
you' re here. We' re
246
00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:52.960
a hundred and twenty kilometers an hour
in compliance with a law. Hey,
247
00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:56.120
I' m gonna leave it on
a bike first. I do not know
248
00:11:56.120 --> 00:11:58.080
you have not noticed the insect factor, i e half an hour ago and
249
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:01.480
the bike you see nothing, because
the screen of the helmet is full of
250
00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:03.799
phosphorite blood of mosquito that leipata its
locity. It' s like Pa,
251
00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:07.600
Pa, Pa, what the fuck
are mosquitoes, pigeons or deer? This
252
00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:11.080
is, they love milk mojitos.
One of them tried to steal my bike.
253
00:12:11.159 --> 00:12:15.919
The bastard girl tells me and what
she told me, Gordo in suio
254
00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:20.200
told me p me, p you. What else have I noticed dedicating these
255
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.000
homenologists that if I go wrong with
this to the last one I get to
256
00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:24.799
work after that civil guard, because
I get bored to the minimum and if
257
00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:28.799
I stay at night in a control
there stopping cars on the road, to
258
00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:31.639
the third car that stops him I
put it I know, for example,
259
00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:46.000
I appear with a red nose of
clown there hello good night girl already drugged
260
00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:48.919
me, or worse with the red
nose, but pretending that I do not
261
00:12:48.919 --> 00:12:54.039
wear it good night. The papers, please forgive people, but you took
262
00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:58.039
a clown' s nose You'
re laughing at my kid. I don
263
00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.159
' t have it on my face
and it' s a dead body in
264
00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:01.279
the back seat. He' s
not a friend you' ll be here.
265
00:13:01.559 --> 00:13:03.960
I' m looking at a dead
body that' s not a friend
266
00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:05.600
that' s gonna be taken out. He' s a cabero, he
267
00:13:05.639 --> 00:13:09.399
' s not a caraver to see
a girl that you dedicate yourself to a
268
00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:15.360
little bit of everything to make a
living, to see something to declare yes,
269
00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:26.519
pin pan de mala casita. Nee
has seen it not well, mantamala
270
00:13:26.519 --> 00:13:31.960
garitos. Unfortunately, I wonder the
system will have a father and if he
271
00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.879
has a father, it' s
not like mine seems to him the typical
272
00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:37.320
Spanish father with bad shit. My
pare is a baker of shit like breads
273
00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:39.360
we' ll imagine that my stop
is the father of a kid who'
274
00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:43.360
s seeing street people sees his kids
come out normal. My stop is always
275
00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:46.399
the same watching TV sitting on his
couch, smoking with his face of Clinybood,
276
00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:52.600
an armchair in which only he sits. I once tried, he was
277
00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:56.000
working. I' m gonna sit
down, call my cell phone and tell
278
00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.320
me to get up as a missile. Right now that you don' t
279
00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:03.440
sit down even though even if it
isn' t there, even though it
280
00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:05.559
' s been working for hours now, why, because even if it isn
281
00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:07.320
' t there, it' s
warm this thing that happens, that has
282
00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:07.919
accumulated farts. Oh, how do
I know, but I, who is
283
00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:11.159
his soul, his spirit still there
you don' t get close and hear
284
00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:13.840
whole nonsense about I don' t
know, I don' t know,
285
00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:13.919
no, but we' re not
going to imagine what it looks like to
286
00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:16.360
him to stop this kid he'
s seeing. Oh, you street kids,
287
00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:18.799
and he' s not bad and
he' s going to the room.
288
00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:26.600
There, no, no, no, no, no, no,
289
00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.399
it comes to you with the pussy
whistle and knock on the door. There,
290
00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:35.120
oh, my son, it'
s called bars, the kid,
291
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:35.519
the pim man. Tama the little
house, it' s called without real
292
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:37.879
life. He doesn' t give
a shit about the name. He beats
293
00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:39.720
the pills more than he gets,
but not him. No. Now be
294
00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:45.360
seen on TV or. Whether Pipa
takes the case. I wasn' t
295
00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.879
gonna teach you. I take Pipa, but she doesn' t have the
296
00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:50.240
little houses. And to everyone I
often tell a shit that jumps fogs.
297
00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:52.960
You know how I tell you,
it doesn' t jump fog. This
298
00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:56.879
is what we used to say to
him in Albacete. Not that he doesn
299
00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:05.200
' t, but he' s
talking about the civilian guanas before. And
300
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.600
I didn' t know before I
went to Catalonia, that there' s
301
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:09.399
no civilian guard there. Everything came
there, you' re a squadron to
302
00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:11.679
my squadron muse. I' ve
been it acete and they' re not
303
00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:13.679
a shepherd' s name or something
like that they know a stable boy,
304
00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:16.360
I don' t know, I
don' t say, I don'
305
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:16.360
t even know how they' re
dressed someday to go to Catalonia, they
306
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:16.360
' re going to stop me and
I' m going to fuck it up.
307
00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.080
They' re gonna say good,
not even the papers. You who
308
00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:22.960
are I' m Mosu of Squad, because go with the goats to me
309
00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:26.559
that you are telling me these modern
shepherds with motorcycle. I don' t
310
00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.399
understand. Take off the mojitos from
the helmet you don' t see.
311
00:15:28.600 --> 00:15:31.960
Uh, well, he' s
traveled a lot. I know, for
312
00:15:31.960 --> 00:15:37.080
example, that people have prejudices about
the people of Albacetheños. Murcia recently acted.
313
00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:39.360
Before the performance, I' m
talking to the owner of the place
314
00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:41.120
for a while. Half an hour
after talking to him, he asks where
315
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:45.600
you' re from. I'
m an albacete, says go, for
316
00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.159
you speak well to be an albacete. He told me this. Murciano has
317
00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:52.039
seen with the emurcianos or has not
made fixed that good that jones is that
318
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.879
yes, I have to recognize that
the Murcian is a positive language, because
319
00:15:56.000 --> 00:16:00.159
you start sad and end up happy. If you say something mutian, look,
320
00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:00.600
I' ll put my face on
it. Sad, I' m
321
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:15.120
gonna do something. Morcelo Mira San
Pérez del Pinete. I' m sad
322
00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:18.360
about it. Let' s say
that what doesn' t or or for
323
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:19.639
bad news also help didn' t
make it die, Mom, not or
324
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:22.840
I who know helps you don'
t or change my name. According to
325
00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:25.360
the Spanish area, you change my
name. For example, I' m
326
00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:26.720
in Catalonia, they call me Jones, I' m in Pibasco, they
327
00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.120
call me Juanchón or, for example, in Malaga, you' re a
328
00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:30.840
Malaga friend. You take comic gartion
that I stop a comic maybe you know
329
00:16:30.840 --> 00:16:33.240
it my very friend. I'
ve already been hounded by my name.
330
00:16:33.279 --> 00:16:36.720
I in Malaga don' t call
myself Juanjo, I call myself wow,
331
00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:40.320
and that very carilloso tells me wow
you love me not wayo ta who wau
332
00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.279
wa. Of course I have a
cat at home. As a result of
333
00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:45.000
this, I realized that she is
Malagueña. When he gets in heat he
334
00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:56.840
calls me wowu wenou you love me
wow don' t change my name just
335
00:16:56.840 --> 00:16:57.799
here in Spain. He' s
also been living in London. He'
336
00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:00.879
s doing monologues in English. This
is watching. If you search the Internet,
337
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.840
you will see videos of me acting
in English. There I came to
338
00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:07.519
a comedy venue and they made me
point my name on a role not then
339
00:17:07.559 --> 00:17:10.119
the presenter introduced me. I don' t know if you know that the
340
00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:11.240
jack for the English don' t, the pronunciation don' t have jack.
341
00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:11.799
I don' t mean my name
is Juan Jo with two jos.
342
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:15.680
An Englishman prolunces my name and can
die on the spot. Don' t
343
00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:18.480
be there John then I left it
there, I say to see that it
344
00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:21.839
' s something that God was then
the guy said wal Cam the Stage.
345
00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:30.240
Not welcome to the stage I,
that is, my name in Spain in
346
00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:33.440
English seems rather Chinese, not that. And besides, there is one thing
347
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:37.200
that of the Chinese that we now
have so many here in Spain and such
348
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:40.480
I don' t know if you
know this that the Chinese are, there
349
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:42.480
are so many in the world that
are the greatest weapon mass destruction, that
350
00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:45.920
is, if everyone agrees in the
world and jumps at the same time to
351
00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.640
fuck up, that is, you
can hesitate to go to the Chinese sea
352
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:52.119
you tell Chino listen forgive me it
seems abusive to me three euros for a
353
00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:55.519
taper so small and you say to
what jump, To what jump? That
354
00:17:55.559 --> 00:17:56.279
I can tell him to jump you, I bring you the store that I
355
00:17:56.279 --> 00:18:07.400
weigh. Hey, I was living
there in London, too. It'
356
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:08.920
s doing me later in English.
So I went every day in the academy
357
00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:11.519
to English, the calan academy is
worth the kalan method to learn English.
358
00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:15.680
I really did this. You can
search for it online. The method consists
359
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:18.000
of repeating the same phrases in English
every day. So, you' re
360
00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:22.000
learning, not because of that klan
method, because it' s going to
361
00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:23.000
catch you I don' t know
and now repeating all the day of my
362
00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:25.039
offering in English and you' re
learning. And I have to admit that
363
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:26.119
with this method. Have I learned
a lot? Have I learned a lot?
364
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.960
Have I learned a lot? Have
I learned a lot? And have
365
00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:30.680
I learned a lot? Not for
that reason, in London we have said
366
00:18:30.720 --> 00:18:33.839
now I live in Barcelona, live
with my girlfriend, living in pairs is
367
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:36.160
very nice, but it has its
things. There' s such a mess
368
00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:37.319
for boys with girls and girls with
boys, and sometimes your partner leaves his
369
00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:44.240
toenails long, either for sloppyness or
for aesthetics. Well, the guys,
370
00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.279
for the aunt' s sake,
for aesthetics. No. And recently I
371
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.720
was walking there was no curl in
bed. Not all of a sudden,
372
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:52.200
she lowered her leg fast. He
made me here Hus cut me from here,
373
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:53.960
cross over bleeding and everything, I
looked at the fingernail with which he
374
00:18:53.960 --> 00:19:04.680
had cut me and put in the
nail bows rally albacete. You know,
375
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:07.279
I had to go to the doctor
and, of course, my girlfriend tells
376
00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:08.519
me when you get to the doctor, tell them it' s me.
377
00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:11.759
Don' t tell me it'
s ridiculous and invite something, and I
378
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:12.640
' m a terrible liar. I
say, I get there and they call
379
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:14.839
me a doctor, well, boy, how you' ve done to yourself.
380
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:22.960
That' s what I' m
saying, so I took the knife
381
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:25.079
and my girlfriend and nothing when I
scared my girlfriend, she touched my leg
382
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:27.599
and cut me here and sputum what' s wrong with you, man,
383
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:29.880
I don' t lie, I
don' t lie. But good.
384
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.359
The truth is that funny things happen
to comedians when we travel around acting Spanish
385
00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:36.519
cover. Acting normally, it happens
to us that during the performance two girls
386
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:38.160
get up and go to the bathroom
together. Many comedians have talked about why
387
00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:41.799
women are going to go to public
toilets together. I have a new theory
388
00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:45.839
of my own, because there'
s a monster in the girls' bathroom.
389
00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:49.960
The monster plays pussy then you go
together, because while one of me,
390
00:19:51.319 --> 00:19:52.680
the other entertains the monster, okay, I imagine myself in a scene
391
00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:56.799
like I showed it and I touched
it. I want to play and the
392
00:19:56.880 --> 00:19:59.920
other one let me look, let
me friend, I want to play what
393
00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:00.839
the monster will be like. I' m sure it' s either chubby
394
00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:03.680
or albacet brown. He makes monologues. I don' t know, no,
395
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:14.480
no. Once acting a cop girl
told me no, Juanjo, let
396
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:17.880
' s go together because we talked
I say this, how it goes you
397
00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:22.319
' re there. JotÃa closes us
that I love him lindre, is that
398
00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:25.400
ah we love him. I don' t know. I prefer the monster
399
00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:26.680
you know, I' d rather
get the idea that there' s a
400
00:20:26.680 --> 00:20:29.079
monster. You don' t have
to fall together. You know, I
401
00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:30.960
sound like a colleague, but to
put him away, I lock him up
402
00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:36.079
with me who brings the plague,
you know, but not to talk,
403
00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:37.720
I mean, I think it'
s a thing of putting colleagues in the
404
00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.279
toilets. And I just don'
t know what engineer came up with in
405
00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:45.759
some houses putting the bathroom light switch
out of the bathroom, because if you
406
00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:47.920
' re gonna shit and it'
s in your colleagues, you' re
407
00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:49.240
gonna shit in the dark. Sure. As soon as you take the challenge,
408
00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:52.799
you' re getting paid for not
saying there' s no latch.
409
00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:53.720
Without that pest, you' ve
got to be there holding the door.
410
00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:56.799
And if the doors are far away
and you don' t get there,
411
00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:59.759
you' re sold. Yeah.
The only thing you stay to hear through
412
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:00.039
the door. As you say,
come on, I can record this.
413
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:14.119
We uploaded it to YouTube. That' s right, the restrooms I know
414
00:21:14.119 --> 00:21:17.160
have things, for example, when
those buttons that there are timers that you
415
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:18.000
press you go slowly that only gives
you time to pee, I would have
416
00:21:18.039 --> 00:21:22.279
to put it by size. I' m gonna piss you, I'
417
00:21:22.359 --> 00:21:26.759
m gonna shit, I' m
gonna come loaded, take it there,
418
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:27.240
you know, no, I know
not and the bathroom. I realize there
419
00:21:27.240 --> 00:21:30.440
are the public bathrooms. I realize
that two types of guys are the ones
420
00:21:30.519 --> 00:21:32.319
who wash their hands after pissing and
the ones that aren' t worth it.
421
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:33.039
I' m in between. I' ll wash them. If there
422
00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:36.119
' s a guy and pick me
up, I' ll wash it and
423
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:44.599
if you don' t go around, by appearance. You know. Anyway,
424
00:21:44.839 --> 00:21:45.680
I' m gonna finish up now, folks. Thank you very much,
425
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:47.720
good night, so long. Thank
you.
1
00:00:00.200 --> 00:00:21.839
J Comedy Central Podcast. Hahahaha Ha, Well, Well, Well, Good
2
00:00:21.879 --> 00:00:23.960
night, yes I introduce myself,
my name is Juan Juel Villana. I
3
00:00:23.960 --> 00:00:26.239
' m an executor there, I
grew up, I grew up too much
4
00:00:26.239 --> 00:00:28.359
as you can see. I'
m fat and see what he' s
5
00:00:28.359 --> 00:00:30.679
trying to fix. For example,
you' ll all know that wearing slimming
6
00:00:31.039 --> 00:00:33.479
black clothes, as I spent six
months with the hearsay black shirt and I
7
00:00:33.479 --> 00:00:35.520
didn' t lose a kilo.
You know and look and see that before
8
00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:38.000
I was much better than now.
I was so fat, I got tired
9
00:00:38.000 --> 00:00:39.799
of climbing stairs. What do you
say, Juanjo, everybody' s getting
10
00:00:39.840 --> 00:00:43.399
married up stairs. I mean escalator. You know, that' s where
11
00:00:43.439 --> 00:00:44.960
I got tired and how Montes was
better. I was joking. I was
12
00:00:44.960 --> 00:00:47.320
told, Jun Joa what do you
do I say I' m the one
13
00:00:47.359 --> 00:00:50.159
who sweeps away ah sweeper not the
one that' s going to burst.
14
00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:59.039
Hey, what are you doing?
Look, he' s traveled all over
15
00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:00.439
Spain, I' ve heard different
ways to call him the fat ones and
16
00:01:00.520 --> 00:01:03.640
in my land, in Albacete,
that' s where I' ve heard
17
00:01:03.640 --> 00:01:03.680
the strongest insult for a fat man. Look what I explain on the scale
18
00:01:03.680 --> 00:01:07.959
of insults for fat is fat normal, fat shit, it' s happening
19
00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:12.280
to you and the maximum is you' re lustrous. There' s fat
20
00:01:12.280 --> 00:01:17.280
shit about nocilla. Hey, like
I don' t know, put me
21
00:01:17.280 --> 00:01:19.200
down once at the Albacete fair.
It' s good the day after the
22
00:01:19.200 --> 00:01:21.200
performance. I' m going around
the fair walking around I look old.
23
00:01:21.239 --> 00:01:23.640
The elders are super sincere. He
tells me tones the casto shop there in
24
00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:26.200
the tent. Essa I' m
not saying yes I' m saying she
25
00:01:26.200 --> 00:01:30.640
' s known as being like this. Lustrous or leftover old bastard. I
26
00:01:30.680 --> 00:01:33.640
' m not fat, it'
s like those people say, it'
27
00:01:33.719 --> 00:01:34.359
s not about metabolism, it'
s not that I don' t have
28
00:01:34.359 --> 00:01:36.000
liquid. No, no, I' m fat because I like to eat
29
00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:38.959
pussy. Besides, I really love
cheese. These so famous I can'
30
00:01:38.959 --> 00:01:41.879
t say marks. I' m
gonna say the ad music. Go go
31
00:01:42.719 --> 00:01:46.120
go, go live. Well,
I screwed up. I love this is
32
00:01:46.159 --> 00:01:47.920
that what happens, is that they' re well- tied, especially the
33
00:01:47.959 --> 00:01:49.840
red part. I can' t
do it with her You know I know
34
00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:59.599
that. And besides, here where
you see me chubby and such he likes
35
00:01:59.680 --> 00:02:01.079
a lot of sport. One thing
I love to do is play a game
36
00:02:01.159 --> 00:02:05.159
with colleagues. The whore of these
games, with friends it' s time,
37
00:02:05.200 --> 00:02:07.760
while with an official game it'
s two parts of forty- five
38
00:02:07.799 --> 00:02:09.879
minutes with your colleagues. The time
is until you die you can be three
39
00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:13.919
hours playing, uh, messing up
the whole doorman, eating pipes. You
40
00:02:13.960 --> 00:02:16.199
' ll tell me how to eat
pipes with gloves. You know the other
41
00:02:16.240 --> 00:02:19.280
command a joint. Hey, man, come on in, then pass it
42
00:02:19.280 --> 00:02:21.360
to your son- of- a- bitch. There' s not always
43
00:02:21.439 --> 00:02:23.479
one like a color shirt from either
team. You don' t know who
44
00:02:23.479 --> 00:02:25.759
' s coming. You know.
And the strongest thing is that when you
45
00:02:25.800 --> 00:02:29.520
' ve been playing for two hours
and fifty- seven minutes, one asks
46
00:02:29.520 --> 00:02:30.719
how much we' re going.
I tell us to put thirty- two
47
00:02:30.800 --> 00:02:31.960
to zero and another one doesn'
t go, four to six, we
48
00:02:32.000 --> 00:02:34.280
don' t go to seven or
eight. Until you say the magic phrase,
49
00:02:34.560 --> 00:02:38.439
come the one who marks wins and
you say shit. Why I'
50
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:40.520
ve been here for two hours and
fifty- seven minutes hitting goals, man,
51
00:02:44.840 --> 00:02:49.960
that' s what you' re
fucking or I' m fucking for.
52
00:02:50.000 --> 00:02:51.759
Then, the normal thing is that
you' re having a few reeds
53
00:02:51.800 --> 00:02:53.800
with colleagues and one says hey man, it' s been two months since
54
00:02:53.840 --> 00:02:54.280
we played football and one says you' re going to. I' m
55
00:02:54.319 --> 00:02:57.840
picking up the last fucker. I
don' t like sports very much.
56
00:02:57.840 --> 00:03:00.000
Strange things happen to me with sport. He' s recently stopped with the
57
00:03:00.280 --> 00:03:02.360
car and he was at a traffic
light and I see in the back,
58
00:03:02.599 --> 00:03:06.719
there' s the center of a
guy' s face. So what the
59
00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:07.599
hell is going on? I get
out of the car, I go to
60
00:03:07.599 --> 00:03:09.960
the back and I see the guy
in a racket at hand, dressed as
61
00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:13.199
a tennis player, looking at the
tennis ball that I have the rowing ball
62
00:03:13.280 --> 00:03:15.000
that you know that typical ball.
I' m not saying what you'
63
00:03:15.039 --> 00:03:16.039
re doing, says Prandor, I
know I' m saying you' re
64
00:03:16.039 --> 00:03:19.639
a dumb guy. I mean,
I really like tennis. There' s
65
00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:21.360
one thing I think life needs to
be done. I' ve gone a
66
00:03:21.400 --> 00:03:23.759
tennis game from this nadal rafa and
in one of those silences towards the game
67
00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:28.039
and scream that mythical phrase of let' s go rat. I did it
68
00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:30.879
once. I did it once in
one of these games was Yokobis versus ber
69
00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:34.439
said there was nothing. You know, uh, yeah, I don'
70
00:03:34.439 --> 00:03:37.039
t, Covic. I eat I
look at myself as saying Wat Fack Man,
71
00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:42.080
that this in castella meant something,
as well as what it says lustrous
72
00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:50.199
uh no. I don' t
know. I really like sport, for
73
00:03:50.479 --> 00:03:53.759
example, formula one. I follow
him a lot, but I have to
74
00:03:53.840 --> 00:03:54.919
say there would be someone. Someone
has to say, and it' s
75
00:03:55.000 --> 00:03:59.080
just that Formula One cars are a
shitty minimum that the car asks for a
76
00:03:59.120 --> 00:04:00.840
small piece, separates half the track. I' ve got an opl stuff
77
00:04:00.879 --> 00:04:02.960
from the 29th year, actually,
three hundred and two miles. I'
78
00:04:03.039 --> 00:04:06.319
ve lost suspension screw, engine pistons, two turbines, some reactor, bononse
79
00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:11.439
de autos and it' s still
miles away and I don' t know
80
00:04:11.439 --> 00:04:12.879
what limit the formula is going to
reach. One day I imagine Fernando alone
81
00:04:12.960 --> 00:04:15.639
there on the wheel of prey saying
we had to leave the race because we
82
00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:23.000
lost one of the stickers was from
the pot Santander, which is our sponsor
83
00:04:23.000 --> 00:04:33.800
and it is not what I have, it is what I am and that
84
00:04:33.800 --> 00:04:39.279
you are millionaire and you not that
there is a silly thing that has occurred
85
00:04:39.319 --> 00:04:41.199
to me incredible and I will tell
it. I' ll leave it there.
86
00:04:41.199 --> 00:04:43.759
And I just think that speaking of
fernandaloso, which is asturian, I
87
00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:46.600
think the playmobiles, the mythical dolls, that we' ve all had in
88
00:04:46.600 --> 00:04:47.079
childhood. I don' t suppose
you know them by the Cliffam Movil.
89
00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:50.279
I think they' re from Asturias, because the only way they have to
90
00:04:50.439 --> 00:04:59.759
drink is to sing and watch.
I leave it there you know the loose
91
00:05:03.519 --> 00:05:06.360
one that and the truth is that
many of the homobrologists pull it out watching
92
00:05:06.360 --> 00:05:09.319
TV, I watch it with my
mother, it' s albacete and it
93
00:05:09.399 --> 00:05:11.319
gives me a different perspective of television
coming out of her comments. For example,
94
00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:14.000
I saw with her a documentary about
astrology. They did not say that
95
00:05:14.199 --> 00:05:16.439
the earth travels through space at a
speed of two hundred and fifty kilometers.
96
00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:19.240
For the second time, my mother
has nothing but a right to say plainly
97
00:05:19.360 --> 00:05:24.839
and I' m always tamed.
Hey, I' ve been speculating albacete
98
00:05:24.839 --> 00:05:26.480
alege one day. One day I
took him to Santiago Bernabo that to see
99
00:05:26.519 --> 00:05:29.839
a Madrid Party was Bernabeu to burst
full of people and I deserve how unique
100
00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:31.240
this is. If it has to
see at least a thousand people here.
101
00:05:32.439 --> 00:05:36.079
My mom hasn' t had three
zeros, so I don' t hear
102
00:05:36.199 --> 00:05:38.399
that I know my mom' s
a normal mom. I believe that,
103
00:05:38.439 --> 00:05:41.240
like many mothers, it is carried
away by the horoscope paraimadre, everything that
104
00:05:41.279 --> 00:05:44.399
the horoscope says is totally true.
For example, my brother gets my head
105
00:05:44.480 --> 00:05:48.240
off not until I get something.
My mother let it be Taurus or get
106
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:50.920
in bad milk. My brother starts
super brute to break it all at home
107
00:05:51.000 --> 00:05:55.040
and mother let him be euro recently
or with my brother on the phone and
108
00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:57.079
he was crying. I say it' s past. Says my girlfriend put
109
00:05:57.120 --> 00:05:59.360
the hides on me. I'
m saying clearly you' re auro uncle
110
00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:05.720
has no more than a bonded batho. No. No, no mother is
111
00:06:05.759 --> 00:06:09.040
a normal mother, my father,
also my parents in general. I think,
112
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:12.160
like a lot of us here,
my parents took that nude baby picture
113
00:06:12.480 --> 00:06:15.720
of me. I think we all
have this one. Eh above the bed
114
00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:16.720
or bathe it. There are two
versions. To goes for families. Not
115
00:06:17.240 --> 00:06:19.519
that I wonder at what time,
if it happens to your parents to take
116
00:06:19.560 --> 00:06:23.240
that picture. No. I imagine
my mother just bathed me and my father
117
00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:25.160
came and said," Get lost" Don' t look at what I
118
00:06:25.240 --> 00:06:30.439
can think of Look, we'
re going to take a good picture of
119
00:06:30.560 --> 00:06:31.079
him, and when he gets older, we show those colleagues and we don
120
00:06:31.079 --> 00:06:33.439
' t laugh at him. The
worst thing about this joke is that comics,
121
00:06:33.639 --> 00:06:36.120
when we come up with something,
the first thing we do is point
122
00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:38.399
on the cell phone not so that
a note hasn' t been uploaded.
123
00:06:38.439 --> 00:06:41.680
No, and we usually shorten it
to take less, because I' m
124
00:06:41.720 --> 00:06:44.839
freaky lately because on my cell phone
I have a note about this joke in
125
00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:47.720
which she puts pictures. As a
naked baby. Imagine I lost my cell
126
00:06:48.920 --> 00:06:51.120
phone or they stole it from me. They' re gonna think I'
127
00:06:51.120 --> 00:07:03.040
m a priest. You know not
that as many monologues told him I took
128
00:07:03.079 --> 00:07:05.560
him out watching television and recently a
documentary about dolphins and said that dolphins masturbate
129
00:07:05.639 --> 00:07:09.879
with the deck of boats, that
is, from the top by the action.
130
00:07:10.519 --> 00:07:12.600
I in the background a cruiser thinks
shit. I fucked him, I
131
00:07:12.759 --> 00:07:16.920
mean, if he gets close to
him, they make the little crossover comes
132
00:07:16.920 --> 00:07:19.399
to my coral. I was fucking
sponge yesterday. I mean, there'
133
00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:21.920
s one thing that one thing the
animals are talking about and so there'
134
00:07:21.920 --> 00:07:26.240
s a fashion that has been put
on among the animal lovers is to have
135
00:07:26.319 --> 00:07:27.920
two dogs, one big big one
and the other little chip breed. This
136
00:07:27.959 --> 00:07:29.759
to be meant, the little one
is the food for the big one,
137
00:07:29.959 --> 00:07:31.600
or some for the indoors and some
for the outdoors. Not that, because
138
00:07:32.040 --> 00:07:34.120
like the parents who have two children, one of each igu, they take
139
00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:36.639
him out there to teach him and
the fat one they have in the garden.
140
00:07:36.639 --> 00:07:48.360
No bastards. Anyway, uh,
no, but that' s where
141
00:07:48.439 --> 00:07:50.680
I learned what to know. There
are programs that I had shown many said
142
00:07:50.759 --> 00:07:53.600
on TV and I had seen the
street not this one, that go to
143
00:07:53.720 --> 00:07:55.879
the best several of each city.
I realize in these reports that they do
144
00:07:55.879 --> 00:07:58.480
on the streets the moment that the
trapiche was in the video was the neighborhood,
145
00:07:58.560 --> 00:08:01.160
because the report asks the kid what
you do and the guy releases the
146
00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:05.160
most suspicious answer in the story,
which is a bit of everything. You
147
00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:07.639
have to make a living, which
is to ask him where his boy'
148
00:08:07.680 --> 00:08:09.600
s uncle is, you go to
college and there' s medical school,
149
00:08:09.759 --> 00:08:11.360
law school, and he gives him
a little of everything he makes a living
150
00:08:11.360 --> 00:08:16.959
for. Not what are subjects introduced
to the pharlopa atracama in monologous armada.
151
00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:20.319
I don' t know. No, no, no, no, no,
152
00:08:20.560 --> 00:08:22.519
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
153
00:08:22.800 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
154
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
155
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
156
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
157
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
158
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
159
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
160
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
161
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
162
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
163
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
164
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
165
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
166
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
167
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
168
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
169
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
170
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
171
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
172
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
173
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
174
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
175
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
176
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
177
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
178
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
179
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
180
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
181
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
182
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
183
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
184
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:22.040
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
185
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.519
no, no, no I haven' t seen him get him in the
186
00:08:24.519 --> 00:08:26.519
middle of the desert, he has
to get out alive, he gets him
187
00:08:26.600 --> 00:08:26.959
in the middle of the jungle,
he has to get out alive. Faggots
188
00:08:28.439 --> 00:08:30.519
get in a street neighborhood to see
if he gets out alive. Hey,
189
00:08:31.399 --> 00:08:33.039
I want him not to get out
alive. Well, I' ll get
190
00:08:33.039 --> 00:08:35.279
out alive when I' m two, and speaking Spanish, I dressed with
191
00:08:35.279 --> 00:08:37.120
a chandal, all he can say
is this. Park here on parca,
192
00:08:37.120 --> 00:08:46.360
here you' re done fucking here, eh no, but burn that yes,
193
00:08:46.519 --> 00:08:48.759
the one I love is the one
in the room look No. I
194
00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:52.559
' ve seen Jimenez here. No, and this guy I' ve been
195
00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:52.840
following for many years. One day
he turned and told me what the Gilipolla
196
00:08:52.879 --> 00:09:05.279
does let me in pay to see
I just came to see what foolery.
197
00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:09.120
Well, I' ve been listening
to him for many years as a guy,
198
00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:11.159
especially on the radio, a few
years ago. I promise that I
199
00:09:11.159 --> 00:09:16.720
heard this saying there that jeme tells
you let' s hear a sisychophony in
200
00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:26.080
which you can hear clearly Don Pedro
and you hear so much, not so
201
00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:31.720
much, Eh, Don Pedro,
tendententer. The strongest thing is that,
202
00:09:31.840 --> 00:09:35.600
then he said let' s hear
a psychophony in which we haven' t
203
00:09:35.600 --> 00:09:50.039
really been able to figure out what
it says And don Pedro this guy has
204
00:09:50.120 --> 00:09:54.879
paranormal hearing. No, but what
a good time I' ve had with
205
00:09:54.879 --> 00:09:56.080
astro- tronologists. I travel a
lot. He traveled by plane. There
206
00:09:56.120 --> 00:09:58.720
' s a whore of being fat
and traveling by plane and it' s
207
00:09:58.720 --> 00:10:01.879
that the stewardesses before taking off,
they' re forced to count all the
208
00:10:01.000 --> 00:10:03.559
passengers man with the machine of Nuncio
Axel. From which click click click.
209
00:10:03.279 --> 00:10:07.159
Of course, when I see myself
the aunt stops click liva calculating she tells
210
00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:09.519
me by eight the bastard you know
it doesn' t have to be easy
211
00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:11.840
to get her slippered well, because
they are also obliged to when the good
212
00:10:11.919 --> 00:10:13.440
arrives to their destination and leaves to
the passengers of the plane. They have
213
00:10:13.559 --> 00:10:16.480
to fire every passenger and like nice. When you' re looking forward to
214
00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:20.200
your home, you have to be
like you were doing that shake thanks to
215
00:10:20.279 --> 00:10:22.360
a raised, thank you CD bkt
By, thank you that what' s
216
00:10:22.399 --> 00:10:24.200
really going on is to get fucked
up assholes, come look at my house,
217
00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:33.600
come on lustrous you know no that
I don' t know there aren
218
00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:35.080
' t any Holonnario. It happened
many times when I' m going to
219
00:10:35.159 --> 00:10:37.879
catch a flight, usually when you
get to the boarding gate, they ask
220
00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:39.600
for your boarding pass and you don' t. And sometimes I go with
221
00:10:39.639 --> 00:10:43.600
those big earphones that honor you to
hear it as a fucking sound. No.
222
00:10:43.960 --> 00:10:46.000
And when I' m boarding the
girl who' s there with the
223
00:10:46.080 --> 00:10:48.639
ticket, she tells me you have
to take off your headphones. I mean,
224
00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:50.960
I didn' t pay for them. I hear you perfectly says it
225
00:10:50.039 --> 00:10:54.759
' s not to recognize you in
the DNEI drigo. Let' s see.
226
00:10:54.759 --> 00:10:56.360
Miss, you' re telling me
that if you go around your house,
227
00:10:56.679 --> 00:10:58.919
suddenly your little son shows up with
headphones. You' re gonna tell
228
00:11:00.039 --> 00:11:03.639
him who you are how you got
in here. No, no, no,
229
00:11:03.960 --> 00:11:07.039
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
230
00:11:07.919 --> 00:11:11.320
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
231
00:11:11.759 --> 00:11:11.080
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
232
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:11.080
no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
233
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:11.080
no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
234
00:11:11.080 --> 00:11:22.679
no. Uh, apart from riding
motorcycle friends, apart from leaving na,
235
00:11:22.679 --> 00:11:24.399
there were lots of bikes traveling.
I' m a biker. We have
236
00:11:24.440 --> 00:11:26.960
some moter that tonight. I mean
big bike. I know that the derby
237
00:11:28.000 --> 00:11:30.240
varians and the trick is running a
lot. It' s mythical. That
238
00:11:30.320 --> 00:11:31.639
bike, uh, always has it
in a neighborhood car. Trick. That
239
00:11:31.720 --> 00:11:35.879
runs amazingly that I think it was
called different because it varied a lot from
240
00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:37.360
owners. You' d steal it
from someone else, so I' d
241
00:11:37.360 --> 00:11:39.879
take it down from there. No, but, well, someone here who
242
00:11:39.039 --> 00:11:41.840
has a big engine to raise your
hand over there, because you save like
243
00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:46.120
me when you do quietly for an
ottovia at 200 miles an hour. The
244
00:11:46.159 --> 00:11:50.360
typical, true, well, some
known that tonight. Well, some of
245
00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:52.360
you will be watching us in case
you' re here. We' re
246
00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:52.960
a hundred and twenty kilometers an hour
in compliance with a law. Hey,
247
00:11:54.320 --> 00:11:56.120
I' m gonna leave it on
a bike first. I do not know
248
00:11:56.120 --> 00:11:58.080
you have not noticed the insect factor, i e half an hour ago and
249
00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:01.480
the bike you see nothing, because
the screen of the helmet is full of
250
00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:03.799
phosphorite blood of mosquito that leipata its
locity. It' s like Pa,
251
00:12:05.120 --> 00:12:07.600
Pa, Pa, what the fuck
are mosquitoes, pigeons or deer? This
252
00:12:07.759 --> 00:12:11.080
is, they love milk mojitos.
One of them tried to steal my bike.
253
00:12:11.159 --> 00:12:15.919
The bastard girl tells me and what
she told me, Gordo in suio
254
00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:20.200
told me p me, p you. What else have I noticed dedicating these
255
00:12:20.240 --> 00:12:22.000
homenologists that if I go wrong with
this to the last one I get to
256
00:12:22.039 --> 00:12:24.799
work after that civil guard, because
I get bored to the minimum and if
257
00:12:24.799 --> 00:12:28.799
I stay at night in a control
there stopping cars on the road, to
258
00:12:28.919 --> 00:12:31.639
the third car that stops him I
put it I know, for example,
259
00:12:33.000 --> 00:12:46.000
I appear with a red nose of
clown there hello good night girl already drugged
260
00:12:46.000 --> 00:12:48.919
me, or worse with the red
nose, but pretending that I do not
261
00:12:48.919 --> 00:12:54.039
wear it good night. The papers, please forgive people, but you took
262
00:12:54.120 --> 00:12:58.039
a clown' s nose You'
re laughing at my kid. I don
263
00:12:58.120 --> 00:13:01.159
' t have it on my face
and it' s a dead body in
264
00:13:01.159 --> 00:13:01.279
the back seat. He' s
not a friend you' ll be here.
265
00:13:01.559 --> 00:13:03.960
I' m looking at a dead
body that' s not a friend
266
00:13:03.960 --> 00:13:05.600
that' s gonna be taken out. He' s a cabero, he
267
00:13:05.639 --> 00:13:09.399
' s not a caraver to see
a girl that you dedicate yourself to a
268
00:13:09.399 --> 00:13:15.360
little bit of everything to make a
living, to see something to declare yes,
269
00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:26.519
pin pan de mala casita. Nee
has seen it not well, mantamala
270
00:13:26.519 --> 00:13:31.960
garitos. Unfortunately, I wonder the
system will have a father and if he
271
00:13:33.000 --> 00:13:35.879
has a father, it' s
not like mine seems to him the typical
272
00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:37.320
Spanish father with bad shit. My
pare is a baker of shit like breads
273
00:13:37.399 --> 00:13:39.360
we' ll imagine that my stop
is the father of a kid who'
274
00:13:39.360 --> 00:13:43.360
s seeing street people sees his kids
come out normal. My stop is always
275
00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:46.399
the same watching TV sitting on his
couch, smoking with his face of Clinybood,
276
00:13:50.120 --> 00:13:52.600
an armchair in which only he sits. I once tried, he was
277
00:13:52.679 --> 00:13:56.000
working. I' m gonna sit
down, call my cell phone and tell
278
00:13:56.039 --> 00:13:58.320
me to get up as a missile. Right now that you don' t
279
00:13:58.360 --> 00:14:03.440
sit down even though even if it
isn' t there, even though it
280
00:14:03.480 --> 00:14:05.559
' s been working for hours now, why, because even if it isn
281
00:14:05.639 --> 00:14:07.320
' t there, it' s
warm this thing that happens, that has
282
00:14:07.320 --> 00:14:07.919
accumulated farts. Oh, how do
I know, but I, who is
283
00:14:07.960 --> 00:14:11.159
his soul, his spirit still there
you don' t get close and hear
284
00:14:11.279 --> 00:14:13.840
whole nonsense about I don' t
know, I don' t know,
285
00:14:13.960 --> 00:14:13.919
no, but we' re not
going to imagine what it looks like to
286
00:14:13.919 --> 00:14:16.360
him to stop this kid he'
s seeing. Oh, you street kids,
287
00:14:16.519 --> 00:14:18.799
and he' s not bad and
he' s going to the room.
288
00:14:18.840 --> 00:14:26.600
There, no, no, no, no, no, no,
289
00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.399
it comes to you with the pussy
whistle and knock on the door. There,
290
00:14:33.080 --> 00:14:35.120
oh, my son, it'
s called bars, the kid,
291
00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:35.519
the pim man. Tama the little
house, it' s called without real
292
00:14:35.519 --> 00:14:37.879
life. He doesn' t give
a shit about the name. He beats
293
00:14:37.960 --> 00:14:39.720
the pills more than he gets,
but not him. No. Now be
294
00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:45.360
seen on TV or. Whether Pipa
takes the case. I wasn' t
295
00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.879
gonna teach you. I take Pipa, but she doesn' t have the
296
00:14:48.879 --> 00:14:50.240
little houses. And to everyone I
often tell a shit that jumps fogs.
297
00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:52.960
You know how I tell you,
it doesn' t jump fog. This
298
00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:56.879
is what we used to say to
him in Albacete. Not that he doesn
299
00:14:58.279 --> 00:15:05.200
' t, but he' s
talking about the civilian guanas before. And
300
00:15:05.279 --> 00:15:07.600
I didn' t know before I
went to Catalonia, that there' s
301
00:15:07.600 --> 00:15:09.399
no civilian guard there. Everything came
there, you' re a squadron to
302
00:15:09.519 --> 00:15:11.679
my squadron muse. I' ve
been it acete and they' re not
303
00:15:11.759 --> 00:15:13.679
a shepherd' s name or something
like that they know a stable boy,
304
00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:16.360
I don' t know, I
don' t say, I don'
305
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:16.360
t even know how they' re
dressed someday to go to Catalonia, they
306
00:15:16.360 --> 00:15:16.360
' re going to stop me and
I' m going to fuck it up.
307
00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.080
They' re gonna say good,
not even the papers. You who
308
00:15:18.159 --> 00:15:22.960
are I' m Mosu of Squad, because go with the goats to me
309
00:15:22.960 --> 00:15:26.559
that you are telling me these modern
shepherds with motorcycle. I don' t
310
00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.399
understand. Take off the mojitos from
the helmet you don' t see.
311
00:15:28.600 --> 00:15:31.960
Uh, well, he' s
traveled a lot. I know, for
312
00:15:31.960 --> 00:15:37.080
example, that people have prejudices about
the people of Albacetheños. Murcia recently acted.
313
00:15:37.759 --> 00:15:39.360
Before the performance, I' m
talking to the owner of the place
314
00:15:39.360 --> 00:15:41.120
for a while. Half an hour
after talking to him, he asks where
315
00:15:41.200 --> 00:15:45.600
you' re from. I'
m an albacete, says go, for
316
00:15:45.720 --> 00:15:48.159
you speak well to be an albacete. He told me this. Murciano has
317
00:15:48.320 --> 00:15:52.039
seen with the emurcianos or has not
made fixed that good that jones is that
318
00:15:54.159 --> 00:15:56.879
yes, I have to recognize that
the Murcian is a positive language, because
319
00:15:56.000 --> 00:16:00.159
you start sad and end up happy. If you say something mutian, look,
320
00:16:00.360 --> 00:16:00.600
I' ll put my face on
it. Sad, I' m
321
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:15.120
gonna do something. Morcelo Mira San
Pérez del Pinete. I' m sad
322
00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:18.360
about it. Let' s say
that what doesn' t or or for
323
00:16:18.399 --> 00:16:19.639
bad news also help didn' t
make it die, Mom, not or
324
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:22.840
I who know helps you don'
t or change my name. According to
325
00:16:22.919 --> 00:16:25.360
the Spanish area, you change my
name. For example, I' m
326
00:16:25.360 --> 00:16:26.720
in Catalonia, they call me Jones, I' m in Pibasco, they
327
00:16:26.759 --> 00:16:29.120
call me Juanchón or, for example, in Malaga, you' re a
328
00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:30.840
Malaga friend. You take comic gartion
that I stop a comic maybe you know
329
00:16:30.840 --> 00:16:33.240
it my very friend. I'
ve already been hounded by my name.
330
00:16:33.279 --> 00:16:36.720
I in Malaga don' t call
myself Juanjo, I call myself wow,
331
00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:40.320
and that very carilloso tells me wow
you love me not wayo ta who wau
332
00:16:40.320 --> 00:16:42.279
wa. Of course I have a
cat at home. As a result of
333
00:16:42.279 --> 00:16:45.000
this, I realized that she is
Malagueña. When he gets in heat he
334
00:16:45.080 --> 00:16:56.840
calls me wowu wenou you love me
wow don' t change my name just
335
00:16:56.840 --> 00:16:57.799
here in Spain. He' s
also been living in London. He'
336
00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:00.879
s doing monologues in English. This
is watching. If you search the Internet,
337
00:17:00.399 --> 00:17:03.840
you will see videos of me acting
in English. There I came to
338
00:17:03.840 --> 00:17:07.519
a comedy venue and they made me
point my name on a role not then
339
00:17:07.559 --> 00:17:10.119
the presenter introduced me. I don' t know if you know that the
340
00:17:10.200 --> 00:17:11.240
jack for the English don' t, the pronunciation don' t have jack.
341
00:17:11.319 --> 00:17:11.799
I don' t mean my name
is Juan Jo with two jos.
342
00:17:11.839 --> 00:17:15.680
An Englishman prolunces my name and can
die on the spot. Don' t
343
00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:18.480
be there John then I left it
there, I say to see that it
344
00:17:18.519 --> 00:17:21.839
' s something that God was then
the guy said wal Cam the Stage.
345
00:17:22.200 --> 00:17:30.240
Not welcome to the stage I,
that is, my name in Spain in
346
00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:33.440
English seems rather Chinese, not that. And besides, there is one thing
347
00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:37.200
that of the Chinese that we now
have so many here in Spain and such
348
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:40.480
I don' t know if you
know this that the Chinese are, there
349
00:17:40.559 --> 00:17:42.480
are so many in the world that
are the greatest weapon mass destruction, that
350
00:17:42.559 --> 00:17:45.920
is, if everyone agrees in the
world and jumps at the same time to
351
00:17:45.960 --> 00:17:48.640
fuck up, that is, you
can hesitate to go to the Chinese sea
352
00:17:48.720 --> 00:17:52.119
you tell Chino listen forgive me it
seems abusive to me three euros for a
353
00:17:52.119 --> 00:17:55.519
taper so small and you say to
what jump, To what jump? That
354
00:17:55.559 --> 00:17:56.279
I can tell him to jump you, I bring you the store that I
355
00:17:56.279 --> 00:18:07.400
weigh. Hey, I was living
there in London, too. It'
356
00:18:07.440 --> 00:18:08.920
s doing me later in English.
So I went every day in the academy
357
00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:11.519
to English, the calan academy is
worth the kalan method to learn English.
358
00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:15.680
I really did this. You can
search for it online. The method consists
359
00:18:15.839 --> 00:18:18.000
of repeating the same phrases in English
every day. So, you' re
360
00:18:18.079 --> 00:18:22.000
learning, not because of that klan
method, because it' s going to
361
00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:23.000
catch you I don' t know
and now repeating all the day of my
362
00:18:23.000 --> 00:18:25.039
offering in English and you' re
learning. And I have to admit that
363
00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:26.119
with this method. Have I learned
a lot? Have I learned a lot?
364
00:18:26.160 --> 00:18:27.960
Have I learned a lot? Have
I learned a lot? And have
365
00:18:27.960 --> 00:18:30.680
I learned a lot? Not for
that reason, in London we have said
366
00:18:30.720 --> 00:18:33.839
now I live in Barcelona, live
with my girlfriend, living in pairs is
367
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:36.160
very nice, but it has its
things. There' s such a mess
368
00:18:36.240 --> 00:18:37.319
for boys with girls and girls with
boys, and sometimes your partner leaves his
369
00:18:37.319 --> 00:18:44.240
toenails long, either for sloppyness or
for aesthetics. Well, the guys,
370
00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:45.279
for the aunt' s sake,
for aesthetics. No. And recently I
371
00:18:45.279 --> 00:18:48.720
was walking there was no curl in
bed. Not all of a sudden,
372
00:18:48.000 --> 00:18:52.200
she lowered her leg fast. He
made me here Hus cut me from here,
373
00:18:52.400 --> 00:18:53.960
cross over bleeding and everything, I
looked at the fingernail with which he
374
00:18:53.960 --> 00:19:04.680
had cut me and put in the
nail bows rally albacete. You know,
375
00:19:06.000 --> 00:19:07.279
I had to go to the doctor
and, of course, my girlfriend tells
376
00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:08.519
me when you get to the doctor, tell them it' s me.
377
00:19:08.519 --> 00:19:11.759
Don' t tell me it'
s ridiculous and invite something, and I
378
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:12.640
' m a terrible liar. I
say, I get there and they call
379
00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:14.839
me a doctor, well, boy, how you' ve done to yourself.
380
00:19:14.880 --> 00:19:22.960
That' s what I' m
saying, so I took the knife
381
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:25.079
and my girlfriend and nothing when I
scared my girlfriend, she touched my leg
382
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:27.599
and cut me here and sputum what' s wrong with you, man,
383
00:19:27.599 --> 00:19:29.880
I don' t lie, I
don' t lie. But good.
384
00:19:29.920 --> 00:19:32.359
The truth is that funny things happen
to comedians when we travel around acting Spanish
385
00:19:32.359 --> 00:19:36.519
cover. Acting normally, it happens
to us that during the performance two girls
386
00:19:36.559 --> 00:19:38.160
get up and go to the bathroom
together. Many comedians have talked about why
387
00:19:38.200 --> 00:19:41.799
women are going to go to public
toilets together. I have a new theory
388
00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:45.839
of my own, because there'
s a monster in the girls' bathroom.
389
00:19:45.640 --> 00:19:49.960
The monster plays pussy then you go
together, because while one of me,
390
00:19:51.319 --> 00:19:52.680
the other entertains the monster, okay, I imagine myself in a scene
391
00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:56.799
like I showed it and I touched
it. I want to play and the
392
00:19:56.880 --> 00:19:59.920
other one let me look, let
me friend, I want to play what
393
00:19:59.920 --> 00:20:00.839
the monster will be like. I' m sure it' s either chubby
394
00:20:00.839 --> 00:20:03.680
or albacet brown. He makes monologues. I don' t know, no,
395
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:14.480
no. Once acting a cop girl
told me no, Juanjo, let
396
00:20:14.480 --> 00:20:17.880
' s go together because we talked
I say this, how it goes you
397
00:20:17.880 --> 00:20:22.319
' re there. JotÃa closes us
that I love him lindre, is that
398
00:20:22.559 --> 00:20:25.400
ah we love him. I don' t know. I prefer the monster
399
00:20:25.440 --> 00:20:26.680
you know, I' d rather
get the idea that there' s a
400
00:20:26.680 --> 00:20:29.079
monster. You don' t have
to fall together. You know, I
401
00:20:29.599 --> 00:20:30.960
sound like a colleague, but to
put him away, I lock him up
402
00:20:32.039 --> 00:20:36.079
with me who brings the plague,
you know, but not to talk,
403
00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:37.720
I mean, I think it'
s a thing of putting colleagues in the
404
00:20:37.720 --> 00:20:41.279
toilets. And I just don'
t know what engineer came up with in
405
00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:45.759
some houses putting the bathroom light switch
out of the bathroom, because if you
406
00:20:45.799 --> 00:20:47.920
' re gonna shit and it'
s in your colleagues, you' re
407
00:20:47.920 --> 00:20:49.240
gonna shit in the dark. Sure. As soon as you take the challenge,
408
00:20:49.400 --> 00:20:52.799
you' re getting paid for not
saying there' s no latch.
409
00:20:52.839 --> 00:20:53.720
Without that pest, you' ve
got to be there holding the door.
410
00:20:55.839 --> 00:20:56.799
And if the doors are far away
and you don' t get there,
411
00:20:56.799 --> 00:20:59.759
you' re sold. Yeah.
The only thing you stay to hear through
412
00:20:59.759 --> 00:21:00.039
the door. As you say,
come on, I can record this.
413
00:21:00.079 --> 00:21:14.119
We uploaded it to YouTube. That' s right, the restrooms I know
414
00:21:14.119 --> 00:21:17.160
have things, for example, when
those buttons that there are timers that you
415
00:21:17.200 --> 00:21:18.000
press you go slowly that only gives
you time to pee, I would have
416
00:21:18.039 --> 00:21:22.279
to put it by size. I' m gonna piss you, I'
417
00:21:22.359 --> 00:21:26.759
m gonna shit, I' m
gonna come loaded, take it there,
418
00:21:26.400 --> 00:21:27.240
you know, no, I know
not and the bathroom. I realize there
419
00:21:27.240 --> 00:21:30.440
are the public bathrooms. I realize
that two types of guys are the ones
420
00:21:30.519 --> 00:21:32.319
who wash their hands after pissing and
the ones that aren' t worth it.
421
00:21:32.519 --> 00:21:33.039
I' m in between. I' ll wash them. If there
422
00:21:33.079 --> 00:21:36.119
' s a guy and pick me
up, I' ll wash it and
423
00:21:36.640 --> 00:21:44.599
if you don' t go around, by appearance. You know. Anyway,
424
00:21:44.839 --> 00:21:45.680
I' m gonna finish up now, folks. Thank you very much,
425
00:21:45.880 --> 00:21:47.720
good night, so long. Thank
you.
