March 7, 2024
Dani Fontecha - Soy Lobo
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Comedy Central Podcast. Good night,
good night. You have to be original.
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Even traveling, many people go to
London to learn English. Not me,
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I' m original. I'
ve been living in Siberia for three
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years. And in Siberia life is
different. One morning I say good tonight
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for a drink, so nothing.
It was daylight. Was it daylight?
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Was it daylight? Was it daylight? It was day to drink something at
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night in Siberia and a dick in
Siberia is six months in a row day
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and six months in a row at
night. The fifth month in a row
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of day my father called me,
says Dani how about and me with a
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dream that you shit here the sunrise
lasts two months. The aphonic cocks,
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a cold in Siberia, a cold, the penguins with scarf sucking thermometers.
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I' m wearing the Trevibal mp
shivering. I' m going to ombar.
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I go to a bar I say
give me a bottle of water,
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water tells me about the weather.
Johnny de Coña, impressive not to sleep
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six months, had some shiners.
I had no shiners, my eyes were
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underlined and they say. He looks
rested. I say no, I look
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tired, I look like another son
of a pushy shoemaker. There' s
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no room for me. There is
no atmosphere in Siberia, no one echoes
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their own affairs. I mean,
I' m going somewhere where there'
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s atmosphere or something. I went
to China. In China they are an
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egg in China you go down the
street walking and you get stuck. Besides,
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the bastards, well, they'
re really weird, but what are
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you gonna expect from a guy who' s born with an amber face?
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No. In addition, the bastards
adapt us to our language. They don
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' t adapt. The other day
I run into one, say hello,
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tell me six and what you'
re worth. Then I was in Asterdan.
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I don' t remember anything,
because I' m usual. I
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started smoking too. Well, I
went out of shop windows, didn'
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t buy anything I rented and then
went to see my brother, who lives
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in America. He works at NASA. The other day he calls me,
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says Dan, and they' re
gonna kick me out of NASA and I
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' m gonna kick you out of
NASA. Normal, there' s not
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the rocket- throwing thing, but, well, that' s fine.
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That thing about us Spaniards going around
the world. You' ve seen that
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Spanish show all over the world.
You' ve seen it, because screwing
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you up isn' t going to
be much more episodes either, because there
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aren' t so many Spaniards around
the world either. However, a million
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episodes of Romanians have already been shot
by Spain. The good thing about traveling.
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Many who see a lot of celebrities
and are the same as the Spanish,
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the famous foreigners. It' s
been a bunch of regular celebrities and
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assholes. Normals are normal. The
assholes wear sunglasses from between an airport.
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For example, the captain of Madrid
Gaul does not wear glasses. A normal
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guy pantoja a glasses. So every
time you stop at a traffic light,
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yonkeye cleans them, then there are
people who don' t asshole, but
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with eternal sunglasses. That French matÃas
parents and man who was born at the
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age of sixty- three has always
been sixty years older than transmitting football and
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bulls, bulls and football. In
the end, the pot went away.
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I listen to her wearing butragueño or
black, bragao, cornibleto astifino, obisco
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of the left python of the livestock
of Real Madrid. I' m not
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famous, but I' m an
asshole. Yeah, I can see ways.
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The other day I went to a
party, with a white wig,
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with a cane, with a handkerchief
on my neck and reciting poems. They
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told me I had to go for
the gala and the amazing. I remember
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that party. I remember that party. At that party, I ate a
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Galician empanada It was delicious. The
Galician empanada was called Virginia de Vigo.
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My grandmother told me, children,
this good fucks you travez ylla granny,
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granny, where it says g granny, I have an older grandmother, tells
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me son, ale case to achieve
franes do not fail everything. They'
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re telling the truth. I,
as if an innocent man believed her They
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say, for example, that it' s better to try what strength.
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I agree. That' s why, in the end, I' ll
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finish it off with one from Zaragoza, because it' s easier to get
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to Zaragoza. Tona de Zaragoza you
call her a wench, you feel like
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it, she says fuck Auntie.
This guy' s got the way.
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You tell one of Madrid and the
fuck is small. The humor to jiff
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To me it is that the humor
that I like the most is the intelligent
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humor, because always you are well, the one that is smart is dissing
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and the one that does not get
the grace is getting even more dissing so
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that the others do not think it
is silly. But I, because I
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' m not very smart, don' t know how to make that mood.
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In all families there is a member
who is a bit of a dick.
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I had the bad luck that touched
me already I could see ways as
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small. My father told me what
beautiful eyes you have and I came with
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my head when I became funny.
He wanted me to be a billionaire.
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I was told Dani and the situation
is a hundred euros plus the hotel and
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I fucking and the 200 euros for
expenses. The hotel I sell. Then
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the school went very badly, although
if I think about it, the school
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is not worth anything, not at
all. The other day I go to
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a video club and I watch porn
movie three euros and period and he'
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s already in school. I threw
myself four years saying how much X is
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worth. They told me who Ramón
y Cajal was and I gamón a Spaniard
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who agajan no fucking ideas. I
wasn' t good at it. The
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school, however, approved why.
It' s very simple, because the
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teachers, especially the English teacher,
liked me so much, and I noticed
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it. I said to Dan and
you know how he says nose in English
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and I don' t know and
he says good you lack pronunciation and suspension,
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because it wasn' t that bad, because the day they gave you
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the notes where I lived, the
day they gave you the notes, that
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day they opened the bars in the
morning and for every suspense they invited you
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to a cubata that my father Dani
told me, how about the notes and
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I fucking, free bar with this
shit to cover with a schoolboy. They
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pictured my jobs as shit,'
cause it sucks. I loved writing,
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but they didn' t publish anything
to me. My poems talked about life
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itself. I have that one that
says if you enter a ship in lights
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and it' s not December or
January it' s clear, it'
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s not Christmas. The bar'
s a potter, and if that ugly
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guy' s hooking up with you, you don' t think the ugly
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guy' s cute, it'
s a house. Good bitches. I
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just haven' t. I'
m Daniel Fontecha, you' ll beat
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him 30 years old and a whore
who doesn' t fuck. I'
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m kidding, not if you win
him well. Ap Despite all this,
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despite all this, I had a
girlfriend because there' s something I do
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know and many guys don' t
know. Today I know and it doesn
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' t fail. I know when
you' re dwelling on an aunt,
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it doesn' t fail. They
are cool or not depending on the kiss
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they write to you in the mobile
message. They have a scale of importance.
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If they put you on, see
you, get past you, see
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you, it means good, I
like you, you' re nice,
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but what they think is go fuck
yourself. We went up on a scale
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b sse they have invented them in
vowels for arraigning, which is not bothering
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me to put a good aus.
You didn' t come in original I
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' m sending you a kiss for
looking good, but they' re thinking
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go fuck yourself. We went up
phase kiss with an o, the same
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thing that there is a kiss coffee
and here are songs. They have invented
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it they m a k moas with
one more, with three ace and six
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ace muachco and admirations. The other
one of an aunt put moascos six ace
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and admirations and in the half hour
we were fucking. Plus she put her
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boyfriend Kari. I can' t
meet today. See you, by the
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way, for a sub- paragraph. There are more and more spelling failures
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to shorten because of mobile messages.
There are more and more misspellings. So
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I' m asking, please,
from here for more control over the subject.
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Well, then, yes, then? Yeah? Well, yeah?
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Thank you. I don' t
recommend online flirting because you' re being
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fooled, man. Take an aunt
without a picture. I was saying I
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' m brunette and athletic. In
the end it was Morena, but fat
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athletic. And I don' t
want to be cruel. I don'
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t want to be cruel. If
a pretty fat one, it' s
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pretty, but if an ugly fat
one, no, no, because there
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' s fat ones in the gut. It tells the ztas what' s
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going to happen. That' s
not it either. That' s not
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it either. I told my girlfriend
the chubby, the zepelin. And that
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day, to top it off,
I have a car accident. He had
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a car accident here I get serious. I, on July 4th last year,
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had a car accident. I was
going with my bm ub leaves drinking
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by the m forty eight turns of
bell. I fell on my feet and
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nothing happened to me. I got
a cop. He tells me we'
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re taking him to the hospital.
I' m really fine. It tells
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me that you' re okay,
you say so, because in an accident
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there are people who say they'
re okay and then they' re blown
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up inside. I thought what.
Son of a bitch I insist we go
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to the hospital that besides I'
m married. I finish my shift and
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my wife is home alone. I
ah you' re married and you say
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yes, I am that your wife
is alone at home. He says yes,
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I say well, that' s
what you say, Jah, that
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' s what you say. Maybe
you' re not alone and someone'
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s blowing it up through Entraajjhahahahahahaha.
I had a bunch of car problems.
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The other day it happened to me
with the car, the same as to
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Lord Beatle. If I were to
die to lingostar, I ran out of
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battery. Unbelievable I get stopped by
the police and says put the papers down.
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I' ve lost them at the
drink bar that I didn' t
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hesitate and I don' t hesitate. I mean, he' s not
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this cop, by the way.
I sewed and I pull the thread,
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get pissed and get out of the
car low. He gives me a little
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white plastic and tells me to blow
until I say it already. My question
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is when they make you blow.
When the fuck he gets there, he
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never gets there. I started blowing
like a platoon his old days, a
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dizzying blow I swear I don'
t get a drink and say nine.
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You call me stop stop and that' s it. We' re going
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to immobilize the vehicle. I'
m going to immobilize the vehicle. I
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keep looking at him, I say
what hair, you have to wear to
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see him in incredible motion. When
thank you, thank you very much.
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I' m not messing with people
much anymore. I' ve had enough
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with my family. My father hasn' t done very well in his life
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either. His first job was on
the subway that they told my mother what
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a deal with the job and he
said good on his line had we had
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very little money, we bought some
shitty steaks, a few nerves. My
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mother, in seeing you potatoes,
would put us in valiums and buy glass
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yogurts and then take advantage of the
container as a glass. Then my mother
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started getting more money from the drownings
and started buying glasses. It was and
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when I started drinking by a tube. I drink a lot. I have
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a lot of problems with drunkenness,
yes, I drink a lot. I
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was invited to a shot the other
day. They tell me what you want
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it about and I' ll take
coke tail in a ball cup, so
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don' t bring me ice.
I know it' s a shot,
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I do. I have a lot
of shows with the Borgacheras and also with
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the r yando whore well, yes, yes so much they have noticed.
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It' s a bitch. It' s a bitch. I don'
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t pronounce it, because if I
had the dough in the car that'
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s cool with a Roice roll,
I can' t buy it. The
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only car he buys me in my
life I say the ranger Robert, the
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commercial jajajacá paca, I say fuck
me, give me the panda. If
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I' m out Wisky, I
don' t like it because I don
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' t ask for rum less,
I' m lucky I' m not
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Don Juan Carlos first, if I
wouldn' t be the gay of Spain.
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Of course I met her at a
bar in Majorca. Al wanted to
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go unnoticed, but he didn'
t make it. I asked for a
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little bitter in a little crown.
I drink bitterca. Yes, I am
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I' m going to Siberia.
I' m original and I also see
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bitercas. Nobody drinks it. If
the glassware talked, I' d give
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him coke. I' m your
menstruation. Anyway, he smoked a lot,
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too. I smoke more than philosophers. But there are people who smoked
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more than philosophers, cartoon writers.
Those people did smoke. For example,
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Hediy' s screenwriter who made Peter
and Heidie clear in short Manga in the
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Alps. My sister loved Heydi.
I have a smaller sister. He never
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cooks. The other day I said
a paella and burned it 18 years.
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She' s past her drop,
and then there' s my mother,
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that my mother, like all mothers, has mother phrases. They don'
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00:14:35.000 --> 00:14:37.600
t have a chip that, even
if they can talk about it, they
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already have mother phrases. Gilipollices of
the caliber of you choke and tells you
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that you' ve gone the other
way. What' s the other side?
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What' s the other side?
I don' t know what the
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other side is anymore, but eating. What' s the other side?
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What' s the other side?
There' s no other side. Or
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00:14:58.960 --> 00:15:03.799
it' s very good they give
the melon at night it hurts. Let
205
00:15:03.799 --> 00:15:09.080
' s see what I say if
you say it, daughter, why the
206
00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:13.320
hell does the melon in the night
hurt? I mean, I imagine the
207
00:15:13.399 --> 00:15:20.120
antibodies in there making his life,
something comes in because of the esophagus,
208
00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:24.519
you who comes in with a piece
of steak, hellish creed, who doesn
209
00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:30.440
' t fucking, who loses shit, who comes in with a melon that
210
00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:31.159
time is nine. But I will
not see by day, so come and
211
00:15:31.200 --> 00:15:43.000
give us a muse. I could
say and he said hear my mother,
212
00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.879
and then there' s my grandmother, my grandmother who speaks for her elbows
213
00:15:48.960 --> 00:15:50.000
and I' m all normal.
The other day I said my grandmother was
214
00:15:50.080 --> 00:15:52.879
talking about her elbows. There'
s a Ijo coming up on the stage.
215
00:15:52.120 --> 00:16:00.000
He tells me it' s scientifically
impossible for your grandmother to speak for
216
00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.600
her elbows. I' ll,
then leave me alone. Time progresses,
217
00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:07.840
and my grandmother says, son,
time progresses, technology progresses, but there
218
00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:11.879
are things that don' t change. Look at the toilet paper. I
219
00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:14.519
just kept thinking about it I mean, my abulilla. He' s right,
220
00:16:15.080 --> 00:16:18.120
because I wonder what' s going
on in the 21st century. There
221
00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:23.120
' s everything about toilet paper,
toilet paper, no, what about the
222
00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:30.200
first run of toilet paper, which
we all premiered. Cut the middle to
223
00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.559
the right. Maybe you take one
layer out of the middle to the left,
224
00:16:33.759 --> 00:16:36.879
two, it doesn' t match. Keep pulling the middle for the
225
00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:38.480
right, three layers of the middle
for the left, five don' t
226
00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:41.480
match. Come on another lap.
Seven layers to the right, eighteen to
227
00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:45.799
the left, twenty- three layers
to the right twenty- eight to the
228
00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:48.039
left, until in the end you
say pussy that I have to clean you
229
00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:51.080
stick my finger. You get it
out. On the other side, you
230
00:16:51.120 --> 00:16:53.080
pull to match. You cut the
ball that you pull weighs half a roll.
231
00:16:53.120 --> 00:16:56.720
Fuck me. Every time I release
a roll, I end up cleaning
232
00:16:56.799 --> 00:17:02.600
with the cardboard and awesome. Well, I' ve had a lot of
233
00:17:02.679 --> 00:17:04.759
diarrhea problems this week. I'
ve taken pills. I didn' t
234
00:17:07.000 --> 00:17:07.279
think of it in the end I' ve seen the solution. I ate
235
00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:11.319
a hundred and three hundred euro notes
so I wouldn' t shit loose.
236
00:17:12.200 --> 00:17:15.319
Like I didn' t miss it. Seen a crucifix. I mean,
237
00:17:15.559 --> 00:17:18.319
there' s the solution. I
took the crucifix. San Pancracio was like
238
00:17:18.319 --> 00:17:25.839
this. I took the crucifix,
took off San Pancracio from the crucifix and
239
00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:32.440
stuck a finger of San Pancracio up
my ass. Hey, Santo' s
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00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:37.720
hand. It' s been a
pleasure. Dani put on chaor ciero.
241
00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:45.160
Good night, thank you so much
and never go out in the morning.
242
00:17:45.240 --> 00:18:00.000
Good night.
1
00:00:02.080 --> 00:00:21.120
Comedy Central Podcast. Good night,
good night. You have to be original.
2
00:00:21.519 --> 00:00:24.960
Even traveling, many people go to
London to learn English. Not me,
3
00:00:25.000 --> 00:00:28.199
I' m original. I'
ve been living in Siberia for three
4
00:00:28.199 --> 00:00:33.000
years. And in Siberia life is
different. One morning I say good tonight
5
00:00:33.039 --> 00:00:37.880
for a drink, so nothing.
It was daylight. Was it daylight?
6
00:00:39.399 --> 00:00:44.200
Was it daylight? Was it daylight? It was day to drink something at
7
00:00:44.240 --> 00:00:49.960
night in Siberia and a dick in
Siberia is six months in a row day
8
00:00:50.840 --> 00:00:54.520
and six months in a row at
night. The fifth month in a row
9
00:00:54.600 --> 00:00:57.520
of day my father called me,
says Dani how about and me with a
10
00:00:57.640 --> 00:01:04.760
dream that you shit here the sunrise
lasts two months. The aphonic cocks,
11
00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:08.640
a cold in Siberia, a cold, the penguins with scarf sucking thermometers.
12
00:01:10.079 --> 00:01:11.879
I' m wearing the Trevibal mp
shivering. I' m going to ombar.
13
00:01:12.719 --> 00:01:15.120
I go to a bar I say
give me a bottle of water,
14
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:19.920
water tells me about the weather.
Johnny de Coña, impressive not to sleep
15
00:01:19.959 --> 00:01:23.200
six months, had some shiners.
I had no shiners, my eyes were
16
00:01:23.239 --> 00:01:26.480
underlined and they say. He looks
rested. I say no, I look
17
00:01:26.560 --> 00:01:38.239
tired, I look like another son
of a pushy shoemaker. There' s
18
00:01:38.280 --> 00:01:41.959
no room for me. There is
no atmosphere in Siberia, no one echoes
19
00:01:42.000 --> 00:01:45.239
their own affairs. I mean,
I' m going somewhere where there'
20
00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:48.439
s atmosphere or something. I went
to China. In China they are an
21
00:01:49.280 --> 00:01:53.120
egg in China you go down the
street walking and you get stuck. Besides,
22
00:01:53.200 --> 00:01:56.079
the bastards, well, they'
re really weird, but what are
23
00:01:56.079 --> 00:01:57.159
you gonna expect from a guy who' s born with an amber face?
24
00:01:57.280 --> 00:02:01.640
No. In addition, the bastards
adapt us to our language. They don
25
00:02:01.680 --> 00:02:04.480
' t adapt. The other day
I run into one, say hello,
26
00:02:04.799 --> 00:02:09.479
tell me six and what you'
re worth. Then I was in Asterdan.
27
00:02:09.560 --> 00:02:14.759
I don' t remember anything,
because I' m usual. I
28
00:02:14.759 --> 00:02:20.199
started smoking too. Well, I
went out of shop windows, didn'
29
00:02:20.280 --> 00:02:23.280
t buy anything I rented and then
went to see my brother, who lives
30
00:02:23.319 --> 00:02:25.759
in America. He works at NASA. The other day he calls me,
31
00:02:25.879 --> 00:02:28.879
says Dan, and they' re
gonna kick me out of NASA and I
32
00:02:28.879 --> 00:02:30.479
' m gonna kick you out of
NASA. Normal, there' s not
33
00:02:30.560 --> 00:02:35.439
the rocket- throwing thing, but, well, that' s fine.
34
00:02:35.479 --> 00:02:38.919
That thing about us Spaniards going around
the world. You' ve seen that
35
00:02:38.039 --> 00:02:44.280
Spanish show all over the world.
You' ve seen it, because screwing
36
00:02:44.280 --> 00:02:49.000
you up isn' t going to
be much more episodes either, because there
37
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:50.280
aren' t so many Spaniards around
the world either. However, a million
38
00:02:50.280 --> 00:03:02.120
episodes of Romanians have already been shot
by Spain. The good thing about traveling.
39
00:03:02.159 --> 00:03:06.199
Many who see a lot of celebrities
and are the same as the Spanish,
40
00:03:06.599 --> 00:03:09.520
the famous foreigners. It' s
been a bunch of regular celebrities and
41
00:03:09.520 --> 00:03:13.680
assholes. Normals are normal. The
assholes wear sunglasses from between an airport.
42
00:03:15.159 --> 00:03:17.840
For example, the captain of Madrid
Gaul does not wear glasses. A normal
43
00:03:17.879 --> 00:03:23.960
guy pantoja a glasses. So every
time you stop at a traffic light,
44
00:03:23.159 --> 00:03:35.639
yonkeye cleans them, then there are
people who don' t asshole, but
45
00:03:35.680 --> 00:03:38.680
with eternal sunglasses. That French matÃas
parents and man who was born at the
46
00:03:38.759 --> 00:03:43.360
age of sixty- three has always
been sixty years older than transmitting football and
47
00:03:43.360 --> 00:03:45.199
bulls, bulls and football. In
the end, the pot went away.
48
00:03:45.240 --> 00:03:49.319
I listen to her wearing butragueño or
black, bragao, cornibleto astifino, obisco
49
00:03:49.319 --> 00:03:53.879
of the left python of the livestock
of Real Madrid. I' m not
50
00:03:53.879 --> 00:03:58.159
famous, but I' m an
asshole. Yeah, I can see ways.
51
00:03:58.199 --> 00:04:00.479
The other day I went to a
party, with a white wig,
52
00:04:00.639 --> 00:04:02.479
with a cane, with a handkerchief
on my neck and reciting poems. They
53
00:04:02.520 --> 00:04:12.560
told me I had to go for
the gala and the amazing. I remember
54
00:04:12.680 --> 00:04:15.919
that party. I remember that party. At that party, I ate a
55
00:04:15.000 --> 00:04:19.040
Galician empanada It was delicious. The
Galician empanada was called Virginia de Vigo.
56
00:04:21.439 --> 00:04:24.639
My grandmother told me, children,
this good fucks you travez ylla granny,
57
00:04:24.920 --> 00:04:29.720
granny, where it says g granny, I have an older grandmother, tells
58
00:04:30.639 --> 00:04:32.800
me son, ale case to achieve
franes do not fail everything. They'
59
00:04:32.839 --> 00:04:35.040
re telling the truth. I,
as if an innocent man believed her They
60
00:04:35.040 --> 00:04:36.720
say, for example, that it' s better to try what strength.
61
00:04:36.759 --> 00:04:40.399
I agree. That' s why, in the end, I' ll
62
00:04:41.879 --> 00:04:43.399
finish it off with one from Zaragoza, because it' s easier to get
63
00:04:43.399 --> 00:04:46.560
to Zaragoza. Tona de Zaragoza you
call her a wench, you feel like
64
00:04:46.639 --> 00:04:47.920
it, she says fuck Auntie.
This guy' s got the way.
65
00:04:48.360 --> 00:04:53.680
You tell one of Madrid and the
fuck is small. The humor to jiff
66
00:04:53.800 --> 00:04:55.839
To me it is that the humor
that I like the most is the intelligent
67
00:04:55.879 --> 00:04:59.680
humor, because always you are well, the one that is smart is dissing
68
00:04:59.800 --> 00:05:02.839
and the one that does not get
the grace is getting even more dissing so
69
00:05:02.920 --> 00:05:04.680
that the others do not think it
is silly. But I, because I
70
00:05:04.759 --> 00:05:06.439
' m not very smart, don' t know how to make that mood.
71
00:05:06.480 --> 00:05:10.120
In all families there is a member
who is a bit of a dick.
72
00:05:10.759 --> 00:05:14.120
I had the bad luck that touched
me already I could see ways as
73
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:16.360
small. My father told me what
beautiful eyes you have and I came with
74
00:05:16.399 --> 00:05:21.439
my head when I became funny.
He wanted me to be a billionaire.
75
00:05:21.519 --> 00:05:25.240
I was told Dani and the situation
is a hundred euros plus the hotel and
76
00:05:25.279 --> 00:05:30.759
I fucking and the 200 euros for
expenses. The hotel I sell. Then
77
00:05:30.800 --> 00:05:32.160
the school went very badly, although
if I think about it, the school
78
00:05:32.199 --> 00:05:34.279
is not worth anything, not at
all. The other day I go to
79
00:05:34.360 --> 00:05:40.800
a video club and I watch porn
movie three euros and period and he'
80
00:05:40.800 --> 00:05:43.279
s already in school. I threw
myself four years saying how much X is
81
00:05:43.279 --> 00:05:48.120
worth. They told me who Ramón
y Cajal was and I gamón a Spaniard
82
00:05:48.160 --> 00:05:53.240
who agajan no fucking ideas. I
wasn' t good at it. The
83
00:05:53.240 --> 00:05:56.319
school, however, approved why.
It' s very simple, because the
84
00:05:56.360 --> 00:05:58.839
teachers, especially the English teacher,
liked me so much, and I noticed
85
00:05:58.920 --> 00:06:06.240
it. I said to Dan and
you know how he says nose in English
86
00:06:06.279 --> 00:06:17.000
and I don' t know and
he says good you lack pronunciation and suspension,
87
00:06:17.399 --> 00:06:20.000
because it wasn' t that bad, because the day they gave you
88
00:06:20.000 --> 00:06:23.360
the notes where I lived, the
day they gave you the notes, that
89
00:06:23.399 --> 00:06:28.079
day they opened the bars in the
morning and for every suspense they invited you
90
00:06:28.120 --> 00:06:30.839
to a cubata that my father Dani
told me, how about the notes and
91
00:06:31.839 --> 00:06:34.040
I fucking, free bar with this
shit to cover with a schoolboy. They
92
00:06:34.040 --> 00:06:38.240
pictured my jobs as shit,'
cause it sucks. I loved writing,
93
00:06:38.639 --> 00:06:42.439
but they didn' t publish anything
to me. My poems talked about life
94
00:06:42.519 --> 00:06:45.920
itself. I have that one that
says if you enter a ship in lights
95
00:06:46.000 --> 00:06:49.399
and it' s not December or
January it' s clear, it'
96
00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:54.079
s not Christmas. The bar'
s a potter, and if that ugly
97
00:06:54.199 --> 00:06:58.480
guy' s hooking up with you, you don' t think the ugly
98
00:06:58.519 --> 00:07:00.120
guy' s cute, it'
s a house. Good bitches. I
99
00:07:00.120 --> 00:07:02.800
just haven' t. I'
m Daniel Fontecha, you' ll beat
100
00:07:04.199 --> 00:07:05.040
him 30 years old and a whore
who doesn' t fuck. I'
101
00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:15.279
m kidding, not if you win
him well. Ap Despite all this,
102
00:07:15.639 --> 00:07:18.800
despite all this, I had a
girlfriend because there' s something I do
103
00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:21.439
know and many guys don' t
know. Today I know and it doesn
104
00:07:21.480 --> 00:07:25.480
' t fail. I know when
you' re dwelling on an aunt,
105
00:07:25.879 --> 00:07:29.879
it doesn' t fail. They
are cool or not depending on the kiss
106
00:07:29.959 --> 00:07:34.279
they write to you in the mobile
message. They have a scale of importance.
107
00:07:34.439 --> 00:07:39.319
If they put you on, see
you, get past you, see
108
00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:42.360
you, it means good, I
like you, you' re nice,
109
00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:46.519
but what they think is go fuck
yourself. We went up on a scale
110
00:07:46.600 --> 00:07:49.519
b sse they have invented them in
vowels for arraigning, which is not bothering
111
00:07:49.519 --> 00:07:53.839
me to put a good aus.
You didn' t come in original I
112
00:07:53.879 --> 00:07:58.720
' m sending you a kiss for
looking good, but they' re thinking
113
00:07:58.720 --> 00:08:01.319
go fuck yourself. We went up
phase kiss with an o, the same
114
00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:07.040
thing that there is a kiss coffee
and here are songs. They have invented
115
00:08:07.079 --> 00:08:16.120
it they m a k moas with
one more, with three ace and six
116
00:08:16.399 --> 00:08:20.439
ace muachco and admirations. The other
one of an aunt put moascos six ace
117
00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:26.360
and admirations and in the half hour
we were fucking. Plus she put her
118
00:08:26.360 --> 00:08:39.200
boyfriend Kari. I can' t
meet today. See you, by the
119
00:08:39.200 --> 00:08:43.399
way, for a sub- paragraph. There are more and more spelling failures
120
00:08:43.559 --> 00:08:48.039
to shorten because of mobile messages.
There are more and more misspellings. So
121
00:08:48.080 --> 00:08:50.639
I' m asking, please,
from here for more control over the subject.
122
00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:54.720
Well, then, yes, then? Yeah? Well, yeah?
123
00:08:56.480 --> 00:09:05.440
Thank you. I don' t
recommend online flirting because you' re being
124
00:09:05.440 --> 00:09:09.279
fooled, man. Take an aunt
without a picture. I was saying I
125
00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:13.679
' m brunette and athletic. In
the end it was Morena, but fat
126
00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:16.279
athletic. And I don' t
want to be cruel. I don'
127
00:09:16.320 --> 00:09:18.639
t want to be cruel. If
a pretty fat one, it' s
128
00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:20.080
pretty, but if an ugly fat
one, no, no, because there
129
00:09:20.120 --> 00:09:22.360
' s fat ones in the gut. It tells the ztas what' s
130
00:09:22.440 --> 00:09:26.159
going to happen. That' s
not it either. That' s not
131
00:09:26.159 --> 00:09:35.120
it either. I told my girlfriend
the chubby, the zepelin. And that
132
00:09:35.200 --> 00:09:39.240
day, to top it off,
I have a car accident. He had
133
00:09:39.240 --> 00:09:43.759
a car accident here I get serious. I, on July 4th last year,
134
00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:46.679
had a car accident. I was
going with my bm ub leaves drinking
135
00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:52.039
by the m forty eight turns of
bell. I fell on my feet and
136
00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:56.440
nothing happened to me. I got
a cop. He tells me we'
137
00:09:56.519 --> 00:10:01.639
re taking him to the hospital.
I' m really fine. It tells
138
00:10:03.960 --> 00:10:09.279
me that you' re okay,
you say so, because in an accident
139
00:10:09.360 --> 00:10:13.440
there are people who say they'
re okay and then they' re blown
140
00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:20.919
up inside. I thought what.
Son of a bitch I insist we go
141
00:10:20.960 --> 00:10:24.320
to the hospital that besides I'
m married. I finish my shift and
142
00:10:24.360 --> 00:10:30.559
my wife is home alone. I
ah you' re married and you say
143
00:10:30.559 --> 00:10:33.879
yes, I am that your wife
is alone at home. He says yes,
144
00:10:37.080 --> 00:10:50.519
I say well, that' s
what you say, Jah, that
145
00:10:50.519 --> 00:10:52.480
' s what you say. Maybe
you' re not alone and someone'
146
00:10:52.559 --> 00:11:03.360
s blowing it up through Entraajjhahahahahahaha.
I had a bunch of car problems.
147
00:11:03.320 --> 00:11:05.600
The other day it happened to me
with the car, the same as to
148
00:11:05.600 --> 00:11:07.799
Lord Beatle. If I were to
die to lingostar, I ran out of
149
00:11:07.799 --> 00:11:13.200
battery. Unbelievable I get stopped by
the police and says put the papers down.
150
00:11:13.240 --> 00:11:16.720
I' ve lost them at the
drink bar that I didn' t
151
00:11:16.720 --> 00:11:18.320
hesitate and I don' t hesitate. I mean, he' s not
152
00:11:18.320 --> 00:11:22.480
this cop, by the way.
I sewed and I pull the thread,
153
00:11:22.759 --> 00:11:28.639
get pissed and get out of the
car low. He gives me a little
154
00:11:28.840 --> 00:11:31.480
white plastic and tells me to blow
until I say it already. My question
155
00:11:31.600 --> 00:11:37.360
is when they make you blow.
When the fuck he gets there, he
156
00:11:37.399 --> 00:11:41.120
never gets there. I started blowing
like a platoon his old days, a
157
00:11:43.960 --> 00:11:46.360
dizzying blow I swear I don'
t get a drink and say nine.
158
00:11:46.879 --> 00:11:50.000
You call me stop stop and that' s it. We' re going
159
00:11:50.120 --> 00:11:56.360
to immobilize the vehicle. I'
m going to immobilize the vehicle. I
160
00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:03.559
keep looking at him, I say
what hair, you have to wear to
161
00:12:03.559 --> 00:12:09.080
see him in incredible motion. When
thank you, thank you very much.
162
00:12:09.200 --> 00:12:11.559
I' m not messing with people
much anymore. I' ve had enough
163
00:12:11.600 --> 00:12:13.799
with my family. My father hasn' t done very well in his life
164
00:12:13.879 --> 00:12:16.639
either. His first job was on
the subway that they told my mother what
165
00:12:16.679 --> 00:12:24.440
a deal with the job and he
said good on his line had we had
166
00:12:24.559 --> 00:12:26.240
very little money, we bought some
shitty steaks, a few nerves. My
167
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mother, in seeing you potatoes,
would put us in valiums and buy glass
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yogurts and then take advantage of the
container as a glass. Then my mother
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started getting more money from the drownings
and started buying glasses. It was and
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when I started drinking by a tube. I drink a lot. I have
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a lot of problems with drunkenness,
yes, I drink a lot. I
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was invited to a shot the other
day. They tell me what you want
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it about and I' ll take
coke tail in a ball cup, so
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don' t bring me ice.
I know it' s a shot,
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I do. I have a lot
of shows with the Borgacheras and also with
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the r yando whore well, yes, yes so much they have noticed.
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It' s a bitch. It' s a bitch. I don'
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t pronounce it, because if I
had the dough in the car that'
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s cool with a Roice roll,
I can' t buy it. The
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only car he buys me in my
life I say the ranger Robert, the
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commercial jajajacá paca, I say fuck
me, give me the panda. If
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I' m out Wisky, I
don' t like it because I don
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' t ask for rum less,
I' m lucky I' m not
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Don Juan Carlos first, if I
wouldn' t be the gay of Spain.
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Of course I met her at a
bar in Majorca. Al wanted to
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go unnoticed, but he didn'
t make it. I asked for a
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little bitter in a little crown.
I drink bitterca. Yes, I am
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I' m going to Siberia.
I' m original and I also see
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bitercas. Nobody drinks it. If
the glassware talked, I' d give
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him coke. I' m your
menstruation. Anyway, he smoked a lot,
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too. I smoke more than philosophers. But there are people who smoked
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more than philosophers, cartoon writers.
Those people did smoke. For example,
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Hediy' s screenwriter who made Peter
and Heidie clear in short Manga in the
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Alps. My sister loved Heydi.
I have a smaller sister. He never
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cooks. The other day I said
a paella and burned it 18 years.
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She' s past her drop,
and then there' s my mother,
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that my mother, like all mothers, has mother phrases. They don'
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t have a chip that, even
if they can talk about it, they
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already have mother phrases. Gilipollices of
the caliber of you choke and tells you
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that you' ve gone the other
way. What' s the other side?
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What' s the other side?
I don' t know what the
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00:14:46.919 --> 00:14:50.039
other side is anymore, but eating. What' s the other side?
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What' s the other side?
There' s no other side. Or
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it' s very good they give
the melon at night it hurts. Let
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00:15:03.799 --> 00:15:09.080
' s see what I say if
you say it, daughter, why the
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00:15:09.120 --> 00:15:13.320
hell does the melon in the night
hurt? I mean, I imagine the
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antibodies in there making his life,
something comes in because of the esophagus,
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00:15:20.600 --> 00:15:24.519
you who comes in with a piece
of steak, hellish creed, who doesn
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00:15:24.519 --> 00:15:30.440
' t fucking, who loses shit, who comes in with a melon that
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00:15:30.440 --> 00:15:31.159
time is nine. But I will
not see by day, so come and
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give us a muse. I could
say and he said hear my mother,
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00:15:43.200 --> 00:15:48.879
and then there' s my grandmother, my grandmother who speaks for her elbows
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and I' m all normal.
The other day I said my grandmother was
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talking about her elbows. There'
s a Ijo coming up on the stage.
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00:15:52.120 --> 00:16:00.000
He tells me it' s scientifically
impossible for your grandmother to speak for
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00:16:00.000 --> 00:16:03.600
her elbows. I' ll,
then leave me alone. Time progresses,
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00:16:04.000 --> 00:16:07.840
and my grandmother says, son,
time progresses, technology progresses, but there
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00:16:07.840 --> 00:16:11.879
are things that don' t change. Look at the toilet paper. I
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00:16:11.919 --> 00:16:14.519
just kept thinking about it I mean, my abulilla. He' s right,
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because I wonder what' s going
on in the 21st century. There
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00:16:18.240 --> 00:16:23.120
' s everything about toilet paper,
toilet paper, no, what about the
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00:16:23.120 --> 00:16:30.200
first run of toilet paper, which
we all premiered. Cut the middle to
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00:16:30.200 --> 00:16:33.559
the right. Maybe you take one
layer out of the middle to the left,
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two, it doesn' t match. Keep pulling the middle for the
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00:16:36.960 --> 00:16:38.480
right, three layers of the middle
for the left, five don' t
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00:16:38.480 --> 00:16:41.480
match. Come on another lap.
Seven layers to the right, eighteen to
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00:16:41.519 --> 00:16:45.799
the left, twenty- three layers
to the right twenty- eight to the
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00:16:45.840 --> 00:16:48.039
left, until in the end you
say pussy that I have to clean you
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00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:51.080
stick my finger. You get it
out. On the other side, you
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pull to match. You cut the
ball that you pull weighs half a roll.
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Fuck me. Every time I release
a roll, I end up cleaning
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with the cardboard and awesome. Well, I' ve had a lot of
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00:17:02.679 --> 00:17:04.759
diarrhea problems this week. I'
ve taken pills. I didn' t
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think of it in the end I' ve seen the solution. I ate
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00:17:07.279 --> 00:17:11.319
a hundred and three hundred euro notes
so I wouldn' t shit loose.
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Like I didn' t miss it. Seen a crucifix. I mean,
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there' s the solution. I
took the crucifix. San Pancracio was like
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this. I took the crucifix,
took off San Pancracio from the crucifix and
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00:17:25.880 --> 00:17:32.440
stuck a finger of San Pancracio up
my ass. Hey, Santo' s
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00:17:32.440 --> 00:17:37.720
hand. It' s been a
pleasure. Dani put on chaor ciero.
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Good night, thank you so much
and never go out in the morning.
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Good night.
