June 6, 2024
Quique Matilla - Incomunicados

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Comedy Central Podcastja how the country is. Hey, you' ve seen Telecinco
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lately, I mean, they'
re looking for the bottom and they can
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' t find it. I mean, they' ve already lowered the bar
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so much that at two o'
clock in the morning the tarot starts and
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says that look now improvement would be
better even with the program this of flame
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and wins. You know we always
laugh at the presenter East who' s
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had his blood exchanged for coffee,
he' s there. Welcome, we
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have to abdinate today the hidden word
we have hidden. It' s a
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city It was a clue. I
can' t say well, it'
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s better off Come on. It' s a city that starts with that
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and ends up in Alamanca to see
if we have any brave to see we
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have a call like this. No
thanks for calling friend cough and drunk sleepwalker,
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because at this time we laugh at
these contests and we do wrong because
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they are giving money. You don' t see he' s got a
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bigger plate now. He' s
got music. You have to be a
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musician and end up there, because
being a musician is not like being a
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comedian. Being a musician requires preparation. Uh, and they' ve been
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preparing, I mean, years studying
at a conservatory. They' ve learned
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to play several instruments. They can
write, they can read in staves,
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which is very difficult. It'
s like understanding Sakira when she sings is
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the most complicated and there' s
the guy playing down there that if they
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trade her poa for a knife she
thanks you, no, but to me
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she' s wearing a tie with
a swimmer of sobs band The Blues Brothers.
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It' s incognito. If you
work there, the last thing you
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want is to be recognized and there' s the guy playing there being muzzles
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for much less that this killed himself
kurk Vein. And it improves what is
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in Telecinco, because you have seen
men women and vice versa, you have
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seen what cleavages and they and them. Eh, but let' s not
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blame him all the Tele Five that
the country is as it is, because
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no, that is, what we
can expect from Spain, a country in
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which I contract more durations the test, uh, that is, a country
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in which miners are forced to lock
up in the mines, lock up in
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the mines, that is, how
the serious heifer has come down. No,
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we don' t have to start, we have to start to put
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it a little bit of value that
here, in Spain, we are not
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to be brave. No, not
here when we have a problem with someone,
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you don' t solve it face- to- face. No.
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No, and if you look face
to face with much you tell him um
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because they' re holding me that
if you' re not alone when I
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catch you, I' m here
more caught tell me now. In other
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words, if the avengers had been
recorded in Spain, the resentful would have
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been entitled. That' s not
where we went. We love it and
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from behind, just from behind.
I am sure that when the rulers of
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Spain meet with the rulers of the
United Kingdom to discuss the issue of Gibraltar,
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in the end we will be afraid
of what you wanted from Gibraltar.
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Not sure, we didn' t
say anything to us, but you texted
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us on the phone. No,
they' re the way it goes.
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Hey, now it' s been
the boy. He picks up my phone
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at once and he doesn' t. Ah well, nothing we leave,
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nothing, because until then English,
until then and as they are leaving and
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Gibraltar says to the Spanish, what
if hais has not seemed hi Gibraltar Spanish,
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not that it will take to pass
bus the same noise or something.
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Ah, well, we' re
leaving again, so long English, see
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you later, when you' re
going eh English? Bastard, I greet
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the champion, because we' re
going behind. We have to go face
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to face with anyone, we beat
anyone in Europe or the Germans too,
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but they are the best in Europe. Don' t believe it. It
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' s not like I don'
t get German in Germany. In Germany
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we charge twice as much as in
Spain. What do you care if you
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don' t know, you earn
them what you earn and you go on
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vacation to Mallorca, or don'
t fuck with me. In Spain we
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won half, but we' re
going on vacation to Cancun with two balls.
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Eh ah, it' s not
like in Germany we get beer this
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big and you don' t miss
the lid. In Germany we can go
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on the highways to 200 and in
Spain already, but they take away points.
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It hasn' t been taken to
my grandmother today, but poor.
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My grandmother has never left Valladolid.
He' s got a speed record in
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ten provinces. That' s in
the hall of a in de Albacete,
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they put her in, they call
her at the residence. Yeah. But
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in Germany we are governed by a
great statesman, Angela Merkel, and in
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Spain also not by Angela Merkel.
Not seriously, but to stand up is
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one thing and criticize so freely another
that here we are very poquitic criticism,
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that is, look at it gray, that only come to Spain to party
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and to get drunk if you went
you spill mus to Ireland to improve the
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English, eh that is. It
has never been the case that a Spanish
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who goes from the mons to Ireland
comes speaking English. You' re just
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coming with a Spanish pawn. We
didn' t get together with the Irish
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to teach them tacos and then an
Irishman came on vacation to Madrid. You
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don' t know where the Prado
Museum is going, but you know perfectly
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well you have to shit in the
whore, eh no, but you just
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come to let them keep coming.
If we' re ruining your English,
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that is, to improve your English, you' re going to take an
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Erasmus to come back to get it, criticize for criticizing. It' s
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not like Latinos just come to Spain
to pound and pound and pound. If
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you went to Cuba to see cathedrals
under Juanillo' s eye, he went
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from the mons to Ireland. It
came badly, that is, I drank
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before, because then I drank more
hurt wine with the women because the Irish
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rejected them and they didn' t
talk about it reject you and you'
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re like an Irish woman rejecting you. There' s nothing harder, and
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the guy' s coming in on
his ass now and he' s got
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some kind of dyslexic drunkenness. It' s five o' clock in the
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morning, when all the girls in
the club have turned him down, he
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steps down half the track and starts
putting that country in, but all the
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whores are women and he' s
going to see Juanillo to see if what
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you' ve wanted to say is
that all the women are whores. I
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find that very offensive. And if
what you mean is that all prostitutes are
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women, some surprise you take,
but you' ve already paid for it
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and you eat it. Eh jabla
would be We have to forgive Juanillo everything,
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because he has shown me that being
simple, we go further. He
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' s a simple guy, but
he always beats you. On the first
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day he went he touched me next
to him and the waiter comes with the
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prawns. He leaves a little plate
next door with the boss' s envelope,
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and this is about. It'
s a wipe for the prawns.
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They' re not wet, the
prawns aren' t. It' s
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not for the hands, they don' t have hands. The prawns don
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' t see gentleman, it'
s for you to clean up after eating
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the prawns. Oh, you don' t want me to get smudged You
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' re serious. Being simple,
you go further. Check. We guys
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have always been so simple that we' ve been messing around for years and
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we haven' t solved it.
I mean, we' ve already been
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overtaken by everyone in every country,
I mean, the Italians are a better
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league because they have more lip,
the French are a better league because they
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' re more romantic. Africans are
better off, because for obvious reasons we
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have spent years, years already choosing
the wrong time of the night to flirt
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then at five o' clock in
the morning. I give myself up and
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there you no longer know how you
smell at five in the morning and no
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longer on the outside inside you know
how your soul smells eh, because at
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five in the morning your stomach is
fighting with everything they' ve brought that
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night and a normal night' s
party. I' m sure what'
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s come in, or it'
s five pinchitos, seven beers, two
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shots of herbs, a little burbony, six without thonic, as it is.
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And it' s very responsible so
that all that doesn' t fall
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empty you' ve eaten a spicy
one you think it has going out so
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that someone alive is near without getting
musty and plant you advance the brave girl
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and you start going blah blah?
Will you look With the first bo the
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girl already speaks Turkish and you still
brave blah? Bla? Bla? Bla?
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Bla? With the second po the
girl already wears a camped suit and
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starts spinning and you continue brave blah? Bla? Bla? Bla? Bla?
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Look there at the girl with the
glasses tarnished, tears, falling,
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please, someone mash me, but
quickly, not like this one who is
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doing it little by little and follow
the blah blah? Bla? Bla?
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Bla? So much for singing to
the fountain that in the end, then
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blah blah? Bla? Blau?
You have to distract your attention in order
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to solve this problem. M j
jaaa. Na No. No, no,
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no, no, nothing, the
ah no ah no. He was
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a going taste the same now as
before. Hahahahahahaha, it' s more
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I' ve had someone going that
I' ve done better the second.
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I' m saying yes now Look, it' s not going to gurgle
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It' s going to get him
out for spice. How nice, what
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a desire to eat now, uh
serious, being simple is good. I
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mean, being simple is good.
If the simpler we are, the better.
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Our relationship with you. In other
words, there is no healthier relationship
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between the male and the female sex
than that of a mother with her child.
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There you have the level of demand. Here' s your boy.
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Today, sleep well eats and shit
ask me. That' s a couple
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relationship and I' m your ideal
man, but then you start demanding things
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and you get there to demand that
you go the same thing one day.
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You walk with your girl down the
street, meet with a friend, start
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between the two of you talking and
you are, first of all as a
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spectator. But then it' s
how your girl starts telling her friend bad
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things about you being you. So, then, when I' m not
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going to tell you, in fact, start saying some things that you and
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you say, but I' m
not going to see if I' m
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not, I' m imagining it. I mean, you see in a
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window and he says pussy, because
I see myself, he' s got
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to see me now, too.
This one' s good, this one,
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he' s out there all day
partying with Juanillo, all day standing
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there with him. Hey, and
the toilet cup doesn' t know it
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' s got a lid, it
never goes down. And at work,
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as you see he' s late
he always sleeps well, well, good,
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good, well, well, let
him say bad things. Tell your
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friend here, tell her how,
uh, how. I mean, I
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ask for a family pizza to come
home and the empano look like uh,
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like cao, tell her like shit, uh, well, the lid isn
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' t that you don' t
put it down that doesn' t close.
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Hey. Yeah, imagine after a
pasty tread, then concrete beams and
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tell him how I sleep? How
do I sleep? Hey, sleep?
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Well, look, this week I
fell asleep three times while we were making
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love. Three, uh, three, two have been two, so,
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look, I fell asleep twice while
we were making love. And from what
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you see once while I was really
jerking off, uh the simple, well,
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I mean, we' re gonna
enjoy the relationship more, so we
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' re simple and it' s
really great, look, we have to
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end that sex war that exists because, besides, it' s clear that
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you won it years ago and this
looks very clear in the couple' s
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reaction through the mobile phone, because
look, you can be calling your girl
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thirty- five times on the phone
without me answering that thirty- six is
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going to take you off with your
naturality. Yeah, yeah, no,
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yeah, I haven' t been
calling you since Tuesday and you hear Thursday,
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or you don' t know that
I had it in my purse in
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Silence and then of course I called
you the Pintalabians true, but you don
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' t have the balls to reveal
yourself, because you know what the order
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is, you know what the chain
of command is. Now, now,
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do not want God, do not
God that someday you are the One who
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does not answer her. Don'
t want God, you who carry the
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phone to find out when he already
calls you that you have the polydore so
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strong that dogs bark in Palencia.
If your name is calling you, are
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there already globbitor of colors, on
the way to the sky that calls you
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already looks so strong that it can
throw you to the ground? I mean,
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God forbid, someday you take your
phone out of your pocket, say
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a loss of yours, no or
wait, wait, you' ve been
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gone two minutes. I' m
returning the call that I' m sure
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you understand, that' s you
waiting with pressure and what you' re
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in is but why we haven'
t picked up the phone. But,
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honey, it was two minutes ago, and I' m doing it by
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watching the call. And what are
you doing those two minutes so important that
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you couldn' t answer, because
look is actually spinning around with the car.
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It is that I went with Juanillo
in the car and we have turned
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ah Juanillo, we are always Juanillo, all Juaniño here, juani Yo there,
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juan and I this, Juan and
the other. What happens if Juanillo
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took you out of a window you
go behind, man he' s out
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asking for the car and or he
doesn' t give ah. Don'
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t look for the complicated, don' t look for the ideal. The
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ideal is not what you seek,
because the perfect man exists, but the
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woman willing to change him also enjoy
the simple. That we' re simple
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00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:24.399
is very good, because that facilitates
the couple' s reaction. So,
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00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:26.519
you' ll always know how we
are, it' s how these people
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00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:31.279
in the state of Facebook are like
very clear that it puts you watching the
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00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:37.720
rain fall through the window on a
fall afternoon, open it and jump you
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00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:41.720
see it, you perceive it.
So, seriously, being simple is very
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00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:43.720
good. If you ever ask us
what' s wrong with you and we
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00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:48.399
answer, nothing happens to me.
It' s just that nothing' s
213
00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:50.360
wrong with me, I just feel
weird about you, because you' ve
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00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.120
lost my team, but nothing'
s wrong with me. I mean,
215
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:56.360
we' re ever sitting with you
on the couch and you see how we
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00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:58.440
get up and you ask us where
you' re going and we answer you.
217
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:01.879
It' s just that net being
alone, I just need to be
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00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:05.480
alone. Nothing else, I mean, I' m not replanting my relationship
219
00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:09.720
with you, let alone my sexuality, that' s to say, I
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00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:20.279
want to fart at ease and if
you ever ask us, if you ever
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00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:22.360
ask us where you want, to
go on vacation and we answer you.
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00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:28.120
Wherever you want the sky, because
we don' t give a damn.
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00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:31.360
We just want to rest a few
days with you, because we love you
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00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:33.879
so much and because in the end
let' s say what we say,
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00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:39.159
we' re going wherever you want
the sky? If as a couple we
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00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:41.480
are simple and we complicate the lives
of singles. I' m sure you
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00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:45.320
' ve ever had a single friend
of these who, as the story tells
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00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:48.440
you, even make you want to
break his mouth this one that' s
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00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:52.240
a day out of partying with you
and hooks up with a very pretty girl,
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00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:56.919
what' s called a pibon and
goes home, home with the tibon
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00:15:56.919 --> 00:16:00.480
do things that are done with a
pivot in your house. And the next
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00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:03.759
day he comes and says good.
You think I' m going with the
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00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:15.559
girl to this house yesterday. We
had sex and he wanted to stay to
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00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:22.039
sleep. You may have seen without
shame, but let' s see if
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00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:23.879
you' re ready. I have
a heart if the girl, after getting
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00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.279
laid, wants to stay to sleep, because she stays to sleep now in
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00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:30.840
the morning. He' s taking
someone else. Uh, because sex for
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00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:33.480
a bachelor has to be like water
for a dromedary. I mean, drink
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00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:37.399
everything you can drink, you never
know when you' re gonna be able
240
00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:42.039
to drink again. I mean,
I' ve had single times. Look
241
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.840
at a thirst, a thirst,
a thirst, and I remember nights at
242
00:16:53.080 --> 00:17:00.000
home drinking only that my drinking arm
hurt already. The last girl I'
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00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:03.720
d ever had a drink with goes
with nostalgia. I say God how we
244
00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:06.720
drank that night. We drank from
the front, drank from the back.
245
00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:19.599
He drank at night. Not anymore
if you' ve ever had a friend
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00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:22.799
of these bachelors, if you'
ve been willing to give it back to
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00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:26.680
him, he can be returned,
because there' s nothing far away gives
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00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:29.880
a bachelor more than one day a
friend of his. I invited him to
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00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:33.720
dinner with his girl, I mean, you go to dinner with another couple
250
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:36.920
you say let' s go to
this thing that you do out of compassion
251
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:40.240
or to fuck with my life,
because if it' s a couple that
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00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:42.960
takes little time, well because they' re still getting to know each other,
253
00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:42.960
they tell jokes, thank you,
they' re nice, they'
254
00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:47.119
re still in that farce truth.
But if it' s a couple that
255
00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:48.799
takes time, you' re not
going to have dinner with them, you
256
00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:52.720
' re going to see how they
argue. And that starts with French hints,
257
00:17:52.759 --> 00:17:56.160
with second ones. But that already
derives in insults and insult from one,
258
00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:59.119
insult from the other, insult from
one insult from the other, that
259
00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:00.599
is, they will insult that you
are already like the one who is watching
260
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:03.640
a tennis game without laying the rules, saying for this that ends up in
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00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:07.640
a pitbull fight and you already take
refuge in your pasta dish, because I,
262
00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.680
like here crouched and see if when
my girlfriend meets a friend, I
263
00:18:10.759 --> 00:18:15.400
disappear eh and not suddenly they get
you told by the bride to your friend
264
00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:21.400
and to you how it seems to
you what your friend does. I was
265
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:25.880
happy with my macaroni of what you
want me to say, whatever you say.
266
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.039
You' re sold. I mean, if you' re in favor
267
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:30.559
of your friend, your friend'
s gonna be mad,' cause he
268
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:32.759
broke the peer pact. And if
you favor your friend, she' s
269
00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:34.839
gonna be mad at you and she' s not gonna let him go out
270
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:38.279
with you anymore, because you have
to be conciliatory. Says man, is
271
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:44.720
that your uncle sometimes passes and you
understand him has his stuff, so yeah,
272
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:47.880
hey don' t lower the lid. To good. If it doesn
273
00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:52.400
' t close, it doesn'
t close. It' s true that
274
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:53.960
very much to leave. Over there. But hey boy, he' s
275
00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:56.799
good at the truth out there.
It' s true that last week he
276
00:18:56.839 --> 00:19:00.839
had a hard time with your sister, it' s true. But since
277
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:04.400
he eats eh and shits eh,
he' s not a show anymore.
278
00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:07.920
Look here the only thing we'
re gonna do in this situation. If
279
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:11.799
you get one of these drunks,
tea you go for peteneras, you get
280
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:14.799
drunk. You' re happy.
However, eye after drunkenness, because all
281
00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:17.200
comedians will be very much the subject
of alcohol, of drinking, of getting
282
00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:22.759
drunk. We have a good understanding. But we' ve missed a part,
283
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:29.279
that is, the hangover, what
it' s about, I mean,
284
00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:32.119
there' s inculcated stuff out there
that they say is about dehydration with
285
00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:33.319
what I' ve been drinking.
I mean, you know the liquid that
286
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:37.640
I' ve ingested I' ve
ingested how it' s going to be
287
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:40.039
by dehydration, I mean, I
mean, how can it be that you
288
00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:44.319
' re at five o' clock
in the morning you want to be God,
289
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:48.119
I mean, you' re dancing
all the songs, you' re
290
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:49.839
singing all the songs, you'
re singing up to songs that you know,
291
00:19:49.960 --> 00:19:49.960
you' re even putting the shit
in everything that moves around the bar.
292
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:52.559
You' ve put your nose twice
to a friend of yours already,
293
00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:57.440
and the second time, because you' ve even got your back on the
294
00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:00.039
street, running with other drunkards,
someone who' s drunk faster on the
295
00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:03.480
planet. I mean, how can
it be that you lie on the bed,
296
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:08.000
uh being God and you get up
as raped by satan already, that
297
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:11.559
is, you get up as if
you had run the Tour de France without
298
00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:15.200
Sillin with a crown of thorns saying
but what happened here those seven hours that
299
00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:18.839
was in bed. But if you' re that seven hours I' ve
300
00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:22.799
been good, I' ve been
a saint, snow drunk, I haven
301
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:22.799
' t smoked, I don'
t do drugs. I didn' t
302
00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:26.920
pray when I got in. I
mean, this is because I think it
303
00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:33.279
' s due to a few little
beings called the hangover dwarfs. The senaditos
304
00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:37.839
of the hangover are like the smurfs, but they smell of tobacco and they
305
00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:41.359
will suck that when you get into
bed, they come attracted to the smell
306
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:44.480
of the claw and start to provoke
the effects of the hangover, of what
307
00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:47.119
is a bad drunkenness, since one
goes towards your head and start to find
308
00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:51.079
a very good hammer that they have, not to wake you up, but
309
00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:53.160
so that the next day you are
doubting if your brain is an l and
310
00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:56.400
your skull a m e. Others
go to your body and ask you to
311
00:20:56.440 --> 00:21:00.799
kick and push so that it hurts
a little bit like pa you think doubting
312
00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:04.119
if you have slept on the mattress
or on the thermomix. Others sneak into
313
00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:08.240
your pants, grab your mobile phone, and start calling an ex- girlfriend
314
00:21:08.279 --> 00:21:18.000
of yours like impersonating you as they
do with fear. They make him afraid
315
00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:22.480
like with drunk mode like there or
being wrong, I still want to.
316
00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:27.319
Then there are others that go to
your neck and start pinching you to get
317
00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:32.279
a purple out here and your girlfriend
thinks how I do with another. Hey.
318
00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:34.240
Well, me. The hangovers have
gotten me to shit in my pants
319
00:21:34.279 --> 00:21:40.880
and my mother didn' t believe
me to be little dwarf dinners, children
320
00:21:40.920 --> 00:21:44.119
of your tea, ygo hascarao.
Mom believed me for years about the wise
321
00:21:44.119 --> 00:22:07.519
men who put her in one night. Please, thank you very much.
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:20.719
Comedy Central Podcastja how the country is. Hey, you' ve seen Telecinco
2
00:00:21.559 --> 00:00:23.280
lately, I mean, they'
re looking for the bottom and they can
3
00:00:23.280 --> 00:00:25.399
' t find it. I mean, they' ve already lowered the bar
4
00:00:25.519 --> 00:00:27.800
so much that at two o'
clock in the morning the tarot starts and
5
00:00:27.839 --> 00:00:31.399
says that look now improvement would be
better even with the program this of flame
6
00:00:31.399 --> 00:00:33.759
and wins. You know we always
laugh at the presenter East who' s
7
00:00:33.799 --> 00:00:36.439
had his blood exchanged for coffee,
he' s there. Welcome, we
8
00:00:36.439 --> 00:00:39.479
have to abdinate today the hidden word
we have hidden. It' s a
9
00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:41.240
city It was a clue. I
can' t say well, it'
10
00:00:41.240 --> 00:00:43.000
s better off Come on. It' s a city that starts with that
11
00:00:43.159 --> 00:00:47.159
and ends up in Alamanca to see
if we have any brave to see we
12
00:00:47.159 --> 00:00:50.640
have a call like this. No
thanks for calling friend cough and drunk sleepwalker,
13
00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:55.719
because at this time we laugh at
these contests and we do wrong because
14
00:00:55.799 --> 00:00:58.079
they are giving money. You don' t see he' s got a
15
00:00:58.079 --> 00:01:00.759
bigger plate now. He' s
got music. You have to be a
16
00:01:00.799 --> 00:01:06.040
musician and end up there, because
being a musician is not like being a
17
00:01:06.040 --> 00:01:08.079
comedian. Being a musician requires preparation. Uh, and they' ve been
18
00:01:08.120 --> 00:01:11.040
preparing, I mean, years studying
at a conservatory. They' ve learned
19
00:01:11.120 --> 00:01:15.239
to play several instruments. They can
write, they can read in staves,
20
00:01:15.480 --> 00:01:19.040
which is very difficult. It'
s like understanding Sakira when she sings is
21
00:01:19.040 --> 00:01:26.040
the most complicated and there' s
the guy playing down there that if they
22
00:01:26.079 --> 00:01:30.719
trade her poa for a knife she
thanks you, no, but to me
23
00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:32.840
she' s wearing a tie with
a swimmer of sobs band The Blues Brothers.
24
00:01:32.879 --> 00:01:34.920
It' s incognito. If you
work there, the last thing you
25
00:01:34.920 --> 00:01:42.040
want is to be recognized and there' s the guy playing there being muzzles
26
00:01:42.079 --> 00:01:46.400
for much less that this killed himself
kurk Vein. And it improves what is
27
00:01:46.400 --> 00:01:51.400
in Telecinco, because you have seen
men women and vice versa, you have
28
00:01:52.400 --> 00:02:02.400
seen what cleavages and they and them. Eh, but let' s not
29
00:02:02.439 --> 00:02:06.120
blame him all the Tele Five that
the country is as it is, because
30
00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:07.840
no, that is, what we
can expect from Spain, a country in
31
00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:12.159
which I contract more durations the test, uh, that is, a country
32
00:02:12.199 --> 00:02:15.360
in which miners are forced to lock
up in the mines, lock up in
33
00:02:15.439 --> 00:02:21.159
the mines, that is, how
the serious heifer has come down. No,
34
00:02:21.159 --> 00:02:23.719
we don' t have to start, we have to start to put
35
00:02:23.759 --> 00:02:24.280
it a little bit of value that
here, in Spain, we are not
36
00:02:24.280 --> 00:02:27.879
to be brave. No, not
here when we have a problem with someone,
37
00:02:28.080 --> 00:02:29.879
you don' t solve it face- to- face. No.
38
00:02:29.879 --> 00:02:34.159
No, and if you look face
to face with much you tell him um
39
00:02:34.199 --> 00:02:38.280
because they' re holding me that
if you' re not alone when I
40
00:02:38.360 --> 00:02:39.960
catch you, I' m here
more caught tell me now. In other
41
00:02:39.960 --> 00:02:44.680
words, if the avengers had been
recorded in Spain, the resentful would have
42
00:02:44.680 --> 00:02:46.400
been entitled. That' s not
where we went. We love it and
43
00:02:46.439 --> 00:02:50.719
from behind, just from behind.
I am sure that when the rulers of
44
00:02:50.719 --> 00:02:53.039
Spain meet with the rulers of the
United Kingdom to discuss the issue of Gibraltar,
45
00:02:53.599 --> 00:02:58.520
in the end we will be afraid
of what you wanted from Gibraltar.
46
00:02:59.159 --> 00:03:07.560
Not sure, we didn' t
say anything to us, but you texted
47
00:03:07.560 --> 00:03:09.879
us on the phone. No,
they' re the way it goes.
48
00:03:10.000 --> 00:03:13.639
Hey, now it' s been
the boy. He picks up my phone
49
00:03:13.680 --> 00:03:15.960
at once and he doesn' t. Ah well, nothing we leave,
50
00:03:16.319 --> 00:03:19.680
nothing, because until then English,
until then and as they are leaving and
51
00:03:19.680 --> 00:03:31.599
Gibraltar says to the Spanish, what
if hais has not seemed hi Gibraltar Spanish,
52
00:03:32.159 --> 00:03:36.120
not that it will take to pass
bus the same noise or something.
53
00:03:36.360 --> 00:03:39.319
Ah, well, we' re
leaving again, so long English, see
54
00:03:39.400 --> 00:03:43.280
you later, when you' re
going eh English? Bastard, I greet
55
00:03:43.319 --> 00:03:46.280
the champion, because we' re
going behind. We have to go face
56
00:03:46.280 --> 00:03:50.319
to face with anyone, we beat
anyone in Europe or the Germans too,
57
00:03:50.680 --> 00:03:53.560
but they are the best in Europe. Don' t believe it. It
58
00:03:53.599 --> 00:03:54.800
' s not like I don'
t get German in Germany. In Germany
59
00:03:54.800 --> 00:03:59.439
we charge twice as much as in
Spain. What do you care if you
60
00:03:59.520 --> 00:04:02.520
don' t know, you earn
them what you earn and you go on
61
00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:05.719
vacation to Mallorca, or don'
t fuck with me. In Spain we
62
00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:09.400
won half, but we' re
going on vacation to Cancun with two balls.
63
00:04:09.479 --> 00:04:14.439
Eh ah, it' s not
like in Germany we get beer this
64
00:04:14.520 --> 00:04:18.040
big and you don' t miss
the lid. In Germany we can go
65
00:04:18.079 --> 00:04:25.120
on the highways to 200 and in
Spain already, but they take away points.
66
00:04:25.199 --> 00:04:35.519
It hasn' t been taken to
my grandmother today, but poor.
67
00:04:35.519 --> 00:04:39.360
My grandmother has never left Valladolid.
He' s got a speed record in
68
00:04:39.360 --> 00:04:41.920
ten provinces. That' s in
the hall of a in de Albacete,
69
00:04:42.120 --> 00:04:45.519
they put her in, they call
her at the residence. Yeah. But
70
00:04:45.519 --> 00:04:48.480
in Germany we are governed by a
great statesman, Angela Merkel, and in
71
00:04:48.920 --> 00:04:55.480
Spain also not by Angela Merkel.
Not seriously, but to stand up is
72
00:04:55.519 --> 00:04:59.120
one thing and criticize so freely another
that here we are very poquitic criticism,
73
00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:01.000
that is, look at it gray, that only come to Spain to party
74
00:05:01.079 --> 00:05:03.839
and to get drunk if you went
you spill mus to Ireland to improve the
75
00:05:03.839 --> 00:05:09.040
English, eh that is. It
has never been the case that a Spanish
76
00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:13.360
who goes from the mons to Ireland
comes speaking English. You' re just
77
00:05:13.439 --> 00:05:18.000
coming with a Spanish pawn. We
didn' t get together with the Irish
78
00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:20.160
to teach them tacos and then an
Irishman came on vacation to Madrid. You
79
00:05:20.519 --> 00:05:24.199
don' t know where the Prado
Museum is going, but you know perfectly
80
00:05:24.199 --> 00:05:28.040
well you have to shit in the
whore, eh no, but you just
81
00:05:28.079 --> 00:05:30.800
come to let them keep coming.
If we' re ruining your English,
82
00:05:30.959 --> 00:05:33.360
that is, to improve your English, you' re going to take an
83
00:05:33.399 --> 00:05:36.519
Erasmus to come back to get it, criticize for criticizing. It' s
84
00:05:36.600 --> 00:05:41.040
not like Latinos just come to Spain
to pound and pound and pound. If
85
00:05:41.120 --> 00:05:54.160
you went to Cuba to see cathedrals
under Juanillo' s eye, he went
86
00:05:54.199 --> 00:05:58.560
from the mons to Ireland. It
came badly, that is, I drank
87
00:05:58.639 --> 00:06:02.600
before, because then I drank more
hurt wine with the women because the Irish
88
00:06:02.639 --> 00:06:06.560
rejected them and they didn' t
talk about it reject you and you'
89
00:06:06.560 --> 00:06:10.120
re like an Irish woman rejecting you. There' s nothing harder, and
90
00:06:10.199 --> 00:06:13.759
the guy' s coming in on
his ass now and he' s got
91
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some kind of dyslexic drunkenness. It' s five o' clock in the
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morning, when all the girls in
the club have turned him down, he
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00:06:17.199 --> 00:06:25.360
steps down half the track and starts
putting that country in, but all the
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00:06:25.439 --> 00:06:27.759
whores are women and he' s
going to see Juanillo to see if what
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00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:29.160
you' ve wanted to say is
that all the women are whores. I
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00:06:29.199 --> 00:06:30.959
find that very offensive. And if
what you mean is that all prostitutes are
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00:06:31.000 --> 00:06:40.759
women, some surprise you take,
but you' ve already paid for it
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00:06:40.759 --> 00:06:49.920
and you eat it. Eh jabla
would be We have to forgive Juanillo everything,
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00:06:50.120 --> 00:06:53.639
because he has shown me that being
simple, we go further. He
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00:06:53.720 --> 00:06:56.040
' s a simple guy, but
he always beats you. On the first
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00:06:56.120 --> 00:06:58.040
day he went he touched me next
to him and the waiter comes with the
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00:06:58.040 --> 00:07:02.360
prawns. He leaves a little plate
next door with the boss' s envelope,
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00:07:02.519 --> 00:07:05.240
and this is about. It'
s a wipe for the prawns.
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00:07:06.040 --> 00:07:10.759
They' re not wet, the
prawns aren' t. It' s
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00:07:10.800 --> 00:07:15.360
not for the hands, they don' t have hands. The prawns don
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00:07:15.399 --> 00:07:17.399
' t see gentleman, it'
s for you to clean up after eating
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00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:21.639
the prawns. Oh, you don' t want me to get smudged You
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00:07:21.639 --> 00:07:25.000
' re serious. Being simple,
you go further. Check. We guys
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00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:29.399
have always been so simple that we' ve been messing around for years and
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00:07:29.439 --> 00:07:30.439
we haven' t solved it.
I mean, we' ve already been
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overtaken by everyone in every country,
I mean, the Italians are a better
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00:07:33.439 --> 00:07:36.079
league because they have more lip,
the French are a better league because they
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' re more romantic. Africans are
better off, because for obvious reasons we
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00:07:41.600 --> 00:07:46.399
have spent years, years already choosing
the wrong time of the night to flirt
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00:07:46.399 --> 00:07:47.000
then at five o' clock in
the morning. I give myself up and
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00:07:47.040 --> 00:07:51.959
there you no longer know how you
smell at five in the morning and no
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00:07:53.000 --> 00:07:57.279
longer on the outside inside you know
how your soul smells eh, because at
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00:07:57.279 --> 00:07:59.720
five in the morning your stomach is
fighting with everything they' ve brought that
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00:07:59.720 --> 00:08:01.399
night and a normal night' s
party. I' m sure what'
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00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:05.360
s come in, or it'
s five pinchitos, seven beers, two
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00:08:05.399 --> 00:08:07.199
shots of herbs, a little burbony, six without thonic, as it is.
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00:08:07.279 --> 00:08:11.079
And it' s very responsible so
that all that doesn' t fall
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00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:15.920
empty you' ve eaten a spicy
one you think it has going out so
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00:08:16.000 --> 00:08:20.920
that someone alive is near without getting
musty and plant you advance the brave girl
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00:08:22.279 --> 00:08:28.600
and you start going blah blah?
Will you look With the first bo the
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00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:41.960
girl already speaks Turkish and you still
brave blah? Bla? Bla? Bla?
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00:08:41.039 --> 00:08:46.080
Bla? With the second po the
girl already wears a camped suit and
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00:08:46.120 --> 00:08:50.240
starts spinning and you continue brave blah? Bla? Bla? Bla? Bla?
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00:08:52.919 --> 00:08:54.519
Look there at the girl with the
glasses tarnished, tears, falling,
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00:08:54.879 --> 00:08:58.399
please, someone mash me, but
quickly, not like this one who is
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00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:03.919
doing it little by little and follow
the blah blah? Bla? Bla?
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00:09:03.000 --> 00:09:05.480
Bla? So much for singing to
the fountain that in the end, then
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00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:11.440
blah blah? Bla? Blau?
You have to distract your attention in order
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00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:22.559
to solve this problem. M j
jaaa. Na No. No, no,
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00:09:22.600 --> 00:09:28.039
no, no, nothing, the
ah no ah no. He was
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00:09:28.120 --> 00:09:39.399
a going taste the same now as
before. Hahahahahahaha, it' s more
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00:09:39.399 --> 00:09:41.080
I' ve had someone going that
I' ve done better the second.
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00:09:41.159 --> 00:09:43.600
I' m saying yes now Look, it' s not going to gurgle
139
00:09:43.600 --> 00:09:46.320
It' s going to get him
out for spice. How nice, what
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00:09:46.399 --> 00:09:50.799
a desire to eat now, uh
serious, being simple is good. I
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00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:54.200
mean, being simple is good.
If the simpler we are, the better.
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00:09:54.240 --> 00:09:58.440
Our relationship with you. In other
words, there is no healthier relationship
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00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:01.960
between the male and the female sex
than that of a mother with her child.
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00:10:01.519 --> 00:10:05.879
There you have the level of demand. Here' s your boy.
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00:10:05.960 --> 00:10:09.720
Today, sleep well eats and shit
ask me. That' s a couple
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00:10:09.759 --> 00:10:13.679
relationship and I' m your ideal
man, but then you start demanding things
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00:10:13.720 --> 00:10:16.399
and you get there to demand that
you go the same thing one day.
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00:10:16.440 --> 00:10:18.200
You walk with your girl down the
street, meet with a friend, start
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00:10:18.320 --> 00:10:22.559
between the two of you talking and
you are, first of all as a
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00:10:22.559 --> 00:10:24.960
spectator. But then it' s
how your girl starts telling her friend bad
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00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:31.039
things about you being you. So, then, when I' m not
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00:10:31.080 --> 00:10:35.399
going to tell you, in fact, start saying some things that you and
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00:10:35.399 --> 00:10:37.919
you say, but I' m
not going to see if I' m
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00:10:37.919 --> 00:10:39.720
not, I' m imagining it. I mean, you see in a
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00:10:39.799 --> 00:10:43.840
window and he says pussy, because
I see myself, he' s got
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00:10:43.840 --> 00:10:45.840
to see me now, too.
This one' s good, this one,
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00:10:45.919 --> 00:10:46.840
he' s out there all day
partying with Juanillo, all day standing
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00:10:46.919 --> 00:10:48.919
there with him. Hey, and
the toilet cup doesn' t know it
159
00:10:48.960 --> 00:10:50.799
' s got a lid, it
never goes down. And at work,
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00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:54.200
as you see he' s late
he always sleeps well, well, good,
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00:10:54.240 --> 00:10:56.559
good, well, well, let
him say bad things. Tell your
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00:10:56.600 --> 00:11:03.519
friend here, tell her how,
uh, how. I mean, I
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00:11:03.559 --> 00:11:05.440
ask for a family pizza to come
home and the empano look like uh,
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00:11:05.639 --> 00:11:09.639
like cao, tell her like shit, uh, well, the lid isn
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00:11:09.639 --> 00:11:11.759
' t that you don' t
put it down that doesn' t close.
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00:11:11.200 --> 00:11:22.840
Hey. Yeah, imagine after a
pasty tread, then concrete beams and
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00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:26.720
tell him how I sleep? How
do I sleep? Hey, sleep?
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00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:28.679
Well, look, this week I
fell asleep three times while we were making
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00:11:28.679 --> 00:11:31.440
love. Three, uh, three, two have been two, so,
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00:11:31.440 --> 00:11:33.960
look, I fell asleep twice while
we were making love. And from what
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00:11:33.960 --> 00:11:41.799
you see once while I was really
jerking off, uh the simple, well,
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00:11:41.320 --> 00:11:43.799
I mean, we' re gonna
enjoy the relationship more, so we
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00:11:45.279 --> 00:11:46.759
' re simple and it' s
really great, look, we have to
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00:11:48.080 --> 00:11:50.159
end that sex war that exists because, besides, it' s clear that
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00:11:50.200 --> 00:11:54.080
you won it years ago and this
looks very clear in the couple' s
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00:11:54.159 --> 00:11:58.480
reaction through the mobile phone, because
look, you can be calling your girl
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00:11:58.519 --> 00:12:03.919
thirty- five times on the phone
without me answering that thirty- six is
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00:12:03.960 --> 00:12:16.759
going to take you off with your
naturality. Yeah, yeah, no,
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00:12:16.320 --> 00:12:20.200
yeah, I haven' t been
calling you since Tuesday and you hear Thursday,
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00:12:20.399 --> 00:12:24.559
or you don' t know that
I had it in my purse in
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00:12:24.600 --> 00:12:28.600
Silence and then of course I called
you the Pintalabians true, but you don
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00:12:28.600 --> 00:12:31.120
' t have the balls to reveal
yourself, because you know what the order
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00:12:31.120 --> 00:12:33.639
is, you know what the chain
of command is. Now, now,
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00:12:35.639 --> 00:12:43.159
do not want God, do not
God that someday you are the One who
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00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:46.919
does not answer her. Don'
t want God, you who carry the
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00:12:46.919 --> 00:12:50.919
phone to find out when he already
calls you that you have the polydore so
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00:12:50.960 --> 00:12:52.679
strong that dogs bark in Palencia.
If your name is calling you, are
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00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:56.519
there already globbitor of colors, on
the way to the sky that calls you
189
00:12:56.519 --> 00:12:56.759
already looks so strong that it can
throw you to the ground? I mean,
190
00:12:56.799 --> 00:13:01.240
God forbid, someday you take your
phone out of your pocket, say
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00:13:01.279 --> 00:13:09.559
a loss of yours, no or
wait, wait, you' ve been
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00:13:09.559 --> 00:13:13.480
gone two minutes. I' m
returning the call that I' m sure
193
00:13:13.480 --> 00:13:16.360
you understand, that' s you
waiting with pressure and what you' re
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00:13:16.399 --> 00:13:20.879
in is but why we haven'
t picked up the phone. But,
195
00:13:20.360 --> 00:13:24.000
honey, it was two minutes ago, and I' m doing it by
196
00:13:24.000 --> 00:13:26.480
watching the call. And what are
you doing those two minutes so important that
197
00:13:26.559 --> 00:13:31.840
you couldn' t answer, because
look is actually spinning around with the car.
198
00:13:35.960 --> 00:13:48.639
It is that I went with Juanillo
in the car and we have turned
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00:13:50.600 --> 00:13:54.399
ah Juanillo, we are always Juanillo, all Juaniño here, juani Yo there,
200
00:13:54.639 --> 00:13:56.240
juan and I this, Juan and
the other. What happens if Juanillo
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00:13:56.320 --> 00:13:58.879
took you out of a window you
go behind, man he' s out
202
00:13:58.879 --> 00:14:09.120
asking for the car and or he
doesn' t give ah. Don'
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00:14:09.120 --> 00:14:11.159
t look for the complicated, don' t look for the ideal. The
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00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:15.960
ideal is not what you seek,
because the perfect man exists, but the
205
00:14:15.960 --> 00:14:20.399
woman willing to change him also enjoy
the simple. That we' re simple
206
00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:24.399
is very good, because that facilitates
the couple' s reaction. So,
207
00:14:24.399 --> 00:14:26.519
you' ll always know how we
are, it' s how these people
208
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:31.279
in the state of Facebook are like
very clear that it puts you watching the
209
00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:37.720
rain fall through the window on a
fall afternoon, open it and jump you
210
00:14:37.879 --> 00:14:41.720
see it, you perceive it.
So, seriously, being simple is very
211
00:14:41.799 --> 00:14:43.720
good. If you ever ask us
what' s wrong with you and we
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00:14:43.759 --> 00:14:48.399
answer, nothing happens to me.
It' s just that nothing' s
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00:14:48.440 --> 00:14:50.360
wrong with me, I just feel
weird about you, because you' ve
214
00:14:50.519 --> 00:14:52.120
lost my team, but nothing'
s wrong with me. I mean,
215
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:56.360
we' re ever sitting with you
on the couch and you see how we
216
00:14:56.399 --> 00:14:58.440
get up and you ask us where
you' re going and we answer you.
217
00:14:58.480 --> 00:15:01.879
It' s just that net being
alone, I just need to be
218
00:15:01.879 --> 00:15:05.480
alone. Nothing else, I mean, I' m not replanting my relationship
219
00:15:05.519 --> 00:15:09.720
with you, let alone my sexuality, that' s to say, I
220
00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:20.279
want to fart at ease and if
you ever ask us, if you ever
221
00:15:20.320 --> 00:15:22.360
ask us where you want, to
go on vacation and we answer you.
222
00:15:22.440 --> 00:15:28.120
Wherever you want the sky, because
we don' t give a damn.
223
00:15:28.240 --> 00:15:31.360
We just want to rest a few
days with you, because we love you
224
00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:33.879
so much and because in the end
let' s say what we say,
225
00:15:33.879 --> 00:15:39.159
we' re going wherever you want
the sky? If as a couple we
226
00:15:39.200 --> 00:15:41.480
are simple and we complicate the lives
of singles. I' m sure you
227
00:15:41.519 --> 00:15:45.320
' ve ever had a single friend
of these who, as the story tells
228
00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:48.440
you, even make you want to
break his mouth this one that' s
229
00:15:48.519 --> 00:15:52.240
a day out of partying with you
and hooks up with a very pretty girl,
230
00:15:54.440 --> 00:15:56.919
what' s called a pibon and
goes home, home with the tibon
231
00:15:56.919 --> 00:16:00.480
do things that are done with a
pivot in your house. And the next
232
00:16:00.519 --> 00:16:03.759
day he comes and says good.
You think I' m going with the
233
00:16:03.799 --> 00:16:15.559
girl to this house yesterday. We
had sex and he wanted to stay to
234
00:16:15.559 --> 00:16:22.039
sleep. You may have seen without
shame, but let' s see if
235
00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:23.879
you' re ready. I have
a heart if the girl, after getting
236
00:16:23.960 --> 00:16:26.279
laid, wants to stay to sleep, because she stays to sleep now in
237
00:16:26.320 --> 00:16:30.840
the morning. He' s taking
someone else. Uh, because sex for
238
00:16:30.879 --> 00:16:33.480
a bachelor has to be like water
for a dromedary. I mean, drink
239
00:16:33.600 --> 00:16:37.399
everything you can drink, you never
know when you' re gonna be able
240
00:16:37.480 --> 00:16:42.039
to drink again. I mean,
I' ve had single times. Look
241
00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:52.840
at a thirst, a thirst,
a thirst, and I remember nights at
242
00:16:53.080 --> 00:17:00.000
home drinking only that my drinking arm
hurt already. The last girl I'
243
00:17:00.159 --> 00:17:03.720
d ever had a drink with goes
with nostalgia. I say God how we
244
00:17:03.799 --> 00:17:06.720
drank that night. We drank from
the front, drank from the back.
245
00:17:07.519 --> 00:17:19.599
He drank at night. Not anymore
if you' ve ever had a friend
246
00:17:19.599 --> 00:17:22.799
of these bachelors, if you'
ve been willing to give it back to
247
00:17:23.160 --> 00:17:26.680
him, he can be returned,
because there' s nothing far away gives
248
00:17:26.680 --> 00:17:29.880
a bachelor more than one day a
friend of his. I invited him to
249
00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:33.720
dinner with his girl, I mean, you go to dinner with another couple
250
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:36.920
you say let' s go to
this thing that you do out of compassion
251
00:17:36.960 --> 00:17:40.240
or to fuck with my life,
because if it' s a couple that
252
00:17:40.440 --> 00:17:42.960
takes little time, well because they' re still getting to know each other,
253
00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:42.960
they tell jokes, thank you,
they' re nice, they'
254
00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:47.119
re still in that farce truth.
But if it' s a couple that
255
00:17:47.119 --> 00:17:48.799
takes time, you' re not
going to have dinner with them, you
256
00:17:48.799 --> 00:17:52.720
' re going to see how they
argue. And that starts with French hints,
257
00:17:52.759 --> 00:17:56.160
with second ones. But that already
derives in insults and insult from one,
258
00:17:56.200 --> 00:17:59.119
insult from the other, insult from
one insult from the other, that
259
00:17:59.119 --> 00:18:00.599
is, they will insult that you
are already like the one who is watching
260
00:18:00.640 --> 00:18:03.640
a tennis game without laying the rules, saying for this that ends up in
261
00:18:03.640 --> 00:18:07.640
a pitbull fight and you already take
refuge in your pasta dish, because I,
262
00:18:07.400 --> 00:18:10.680
like here crouched and see if when
my girlfriend meets a friend, I
263
00:18:10.759 --> 00:18:15.400
disappear eh and not suddenly they get
you told by the bride to your friend
264
00:18:15.400 --> 00:18:21.400
and to you how it seems to
you what your friend does. I was
265
00:18:21.440 --> 00:18:25.880
happy with my macaroni of what you
want me to say, whatever you say.
266
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:27.039
You' re sold. I mean, if you' re in favor
267
00:18:27.119 --> 00:18:30.559
of your friend, your friend'
s gonna be mad,' cause he
268
00:18:30.559 --> 00:18:32.759
broke the peer pact. And if
you favor your friend, she' s
269
00:18:33.240 --> 00:18:34.839
gonna be mad at you and she' s not gonna let him go out
270
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:38.279
with you anymore, because you have
to be conciliatory. Says man, is
271
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:44.720
that your uncle sometimes passes and you
understand him has his stuff, so yeah,
272
00:18:44.880 --> 00:18:47.880
hey don' t lower the lid. To good. If it doesn
273
00:18:47.880 --> 00:18:52.400
' t close, it doesn'
t close. It' s true that
274
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:53.960
very much to leave. Over there. But hey boy, he' s
275
00:18:53.960 --> 00:18:56.799
good at the truth out there.
It' s true that last week he
276
00:18:56.839 --> 00:19:00.839
had a hard time with your sister, it' s true. But since
277
00:19:00.920 --> 00:19:04.400
he eats eh and shits eh,
he' s not a show anymore.
278
00:19:04.440 --> 00:19:07.920
Look here the only thing we'
re gonna do in this situation. If
279
00:19:07.000 --> 00:19:11.799
you get one of these drunks,
tea you go for peteneras, you get
280
00:19:11.799 --> 00:19:14.799
drunk. You' re happy.
However, eye after drunkenness, because all
281
00:19:14.799 --> 00:19:17.200
comedians will be very much the subject
of alcohol, of drinking, of getting
282
00:19:17.240 --> 00:19:22.759
drunk. We have a good understanding. But we' ve missed a part,
283
00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:29.279
that is, the hangover, what
it' s about, I mean,
284
00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:32.119
there' s inculcated stuff out there
that they say is about dehydration with
285
00:19:32.119 --> 00:19:33.319
what I' ve been drinking.
I mean, you know the liquid that
286
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:37.640
I' ve ingested I' ve
ingested how it' s going to be
287
00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:40.039
by dehydration, I mean, I
mean, how can it be that you
288
00:19:40.079 --> 00:19:44.319
' re at five o' clock
in the morning you want to be God,
289
00:19:44.880 --> 00:19:48.119
I mean, you' re dancing
all the songs, you' re
290
00:19:48.400 --> 00:19:49.839
singing all the songs, you'
re singing up to songs that you know,
291
00:19:49.960 --> 00:19:49.960
you' re even putting the shit
in everything that moves around the bar.
292
00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:52.559
You' ve put your nose twice
to a friend of yours already,
293
00:19:52.720 --> 00:19:57.440
and the second time, because you' ve even got your back on the
294
00:19:57.519 --> 00:20:00.039
street, running with other drunkards,
someone who' s drunk faster on the
295
00:20:00.039 --> 00:20:03.480
planet. I mean, how can
it be that you lie on the bed,
296
00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:08.000
uh being God and you get up
as raped by satan already, that
297
00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:11.559
is, you get up as if
you had run the Tour de France without
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00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:15.200
Sillin with a crown of thorns saying
but what happened here those seven hours that
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00:20:15.200 --> 00:20:18.839
was in bed. But if you' re that seven hours I' ve
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00:20:19.119 --> 00:20:22.799
been good, I' ve been
a saint, snow drunk, I haven
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00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:22.799
' t smoked, I don'
t do drugs. I didn' t
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00:20:22.799 --> 00:20:26.920
pray when I got in. I
mean, this is because I think it
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00:20:26.920 --> 00:20:33.279
' s due to a few little
beings called the hangover dwarfs. The senaditos
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00:20:33.279 --> 00:20:37.839
of the hangover are like the smurfs, but they smell of tobacco and they
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00:20:37.839 --> 00:20:41.359
will suck that when you get into
bed, they come attracted to the smell
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00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:44.480
of the claw and start to provoke
the effects of the hangover, of what
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00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:47.119
is a bad drunkenness, since one
goes towards your head and start to find
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00:20:47.119 --> 00:20:51.079
a very good hammer that they have, not to wake you up, but
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00:20:51.160 --> 00:20:53.160
so that the next day you are
doubting if your brain is an l and
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00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:56.400
your skull a m e. Others
go to your body and ask you to
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00:20:56.440 --> 00:21:00.799
kick and push so that it hurts
a little bit like pa you think doubting
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00:21:00.839 --> 00:21:04.119
if you have slept on the mattress
or on the thermomix. Others sneak into
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00:21:04.160 --> 00:21:08.240
your pants, grab your mobile phone, and start calling an ex- girlfriend
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00:21:08.279 --> 00:21:18.000
of yours like impersonating you as they
do with fear. They make him afraid
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00:21:18.960 --> 00:21:22.480
like with drunk mode like there or
being wrong, I still want to.
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00:21:25.519 --> 00:21:27.319
Then there are others that go to
your neck and start pinching you to get
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00:21:27.319 --> 00:21:32.279
a purple out here and your girlfriend
thinks how I do with another. Hey.
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00:21:32.680 --> 00:21:34.240
Well, me. The hangovers have
gotten me to shit in my pants
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00:21:34.279 --> 00:21:40.880
and my mother didn' t believe
me to be little dwarf dinners, children
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of your tea, ygo hascarao.
Mom believed me for years about the wise
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men who put her in one night. Please, thank you very much.








