Nadin Din - Standup show

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Comedy Central Podcast J BYA Wowow.
This is great. I could be like

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this all afternoon, or I can
assure you, or I have a limited

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time. And besides, the subject
doesn' t go with it. Hey.

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Well, I' m inaddin'
good night. I' m here

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to tell you what I' m
addicted to. It' s very common

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among people like me, fat people. Ostoy hooked the sugar, which you

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didn' t look like. He' s surprised not to paint coke and

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not bad. I don' t
have it, but tampa berry, yeah,

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motherfucker what' s for me in
sugar is more drug than drug.

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The drugs are really pipes, what
do you say, well, the pipes

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are drugs, too, and it' s true. Hey, you catch

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yourself, a bag and it'
s like that normejo en sal you get

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to leave pipe aja? Asaja pipe? Ajala pipes? Pipaf puts your nose

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on, as well as the pussy. The tits bat, you know,

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you piped ja, pipe, you
do that with cocaine. You don'

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t do it in ten minutes You' re looking at the lamppost. That

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' s it, I can do
that Let' s hit it You know,

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no, really. For my taste
of sugar. It' s a

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problem. I' m worried.
But the worst is chocolate. The chocolate

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in mieroin chocolate in my cruc,
man, I tell you, you think

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you control it and overnight and you' re going to listen in the bag

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in case you find a muse,
you know if you' re there.

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It' s sad. It'
s sad, man I stole my mother

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' s thermomix to buy me a
Starbucks smoothie. And it' s sad,

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especially because it' s two things
that image doesn' t even know

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how to pronounce. You know like
Facebook. It' s just sad.

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It' s sad and I can' t eat in an onzal and I

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can' t eat a piece of
chocolate. I' m impossible. In

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my house there is a chocolate tarvet
and when I remain aware of nothing really,

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I look at my hands, chocolate
stains, I look for myself,

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I look at my clothes, I
look at my folds, I find myself

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eating it and there is nothing left. Nothing. It' s what gives

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remorse and silver paper. Dude,
like in the' 80s. I'

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m not fucking saying that. I' m thinking of getting help. I

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' m going to point to something, some situation, compulsive dining rooms,

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which I' ve looked at.
I' ve been looking for compulsive comedros.

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That' s what it' s
like to eat compulsives, like alcoholics,

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anonymous, but paragords. What we
can' t call ourselves is anonymous

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canteens, because of course you know
it' s like you' re an

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alcoholic ananisms and you' re tattooing
bacardi on your forehead You' re making

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yourself spoiler. I really think it' s the worst addiction of all is

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food, because the others more than
least have tools. Man, you'

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re gonna take us, because don' t stick to the PP and what

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' s alcoholic, because you don' t get hung up, Bacano,

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resolved, but how you' re
gonna stop eating if I can' t

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even stop thinking about eating, man, if I wanted to aim for art

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in martial in mystad because they thought
it was with Ham Yurick, cheese,

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that is, it sucks and you
say good, because it makes you famous,

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because like all famous, they have
addictions and I say already, but

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other additions. Aunty, my guahija
died of an overdose. Jim Morrison,

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super rocker gala tub, I'
m going to die of Miguelito' s

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filling of the roll, he doesn' t have love. That' s

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what I mean, and being fat
has a lot of bad stuff. It

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' s the inviting consequence that you' re hooked blue, that you get

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fat and there' s the hat. He has a lot of bad things,

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but he also has good things.
I really know because I' ve

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made a list wait for you.
It' s a little wet. I

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' ve been here a lot of
hours, but you' re waiting for

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the list of good things to be
fat. The good thing about the obvious

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food, it' s not the
most obvious point, but you can'

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t. Let' s take it
off. It' s important. The

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bad thing, then self- esteem
so I' m going to cheat you

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recently. The good stuff. The
feeling of eating how wonderful, how bad,

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the feeling of failure, which is
also instantaneous. Then all the food

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fits the bad, all the clothes
that you no longer head, not tral

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pral is already. Good thing they
don' t rape you. I'

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ve said it the bad thing,
they don' t rape you, they

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don' t what is vera,
they don' t, but fucker is

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that yes, that rapes. Don' t leave out this thing that doesn

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' t matter, or whatever you
do, they' re gonna talk to

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you, like, it' s
got nothing to do with it, and

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you' re gonna tell us why
you' re making this joke. I

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' ve already said that. The
only thing I haven' t had fat

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self- esteem for ever, ever
since I was little, good, little

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guy. It' s a way
of speaking that I' m worth the

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Communion suit. The priest didn'
t give me the fuck. I throw

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it at myself like I' m
scared, I mean, it' s

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like it was. What do I
know as if it was his first day

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working at the circus, they would
have told him you have to invent the

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hippo and uncle me. So it
was, so it was in fact,

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I was given the body of Christ
and I asked for bread, uh,

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I asked for bread seriously and I
say to wet man. And I also

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say the same, I am hungry
that Christ is all real bone. She

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' s a whore. She'
s a whore having been complex. I

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' ve got you someone wants you
to study my mushrooms, take the presents

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who waits for you to show up
ah you spend it in the face one

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day be famous, not sooner than
later. Yes, it can be.

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Hey. She' s a whore
having complexes, because you' ve always

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had, as a child, as
a teenager, and I' m ashamed

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to go to the beach and the
swimming pool that they arm bikini. I

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didn' t want people to know
that there was Gorda than Ilusa. I

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thought the clothes were magic. People
already knew. You' re missing me

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a lot of beautiful things for being
dumber than Fat fucking. I' m

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telling you, oh, thank you, I' ve lost a lot of

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wishes. You' re a rock
of desires. I' ve always asked

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for wishes since I was right.
I' ve always asked for it from

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the freaking faces You' re late
for birthday. I' ve always asked

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for the same thing. I'
ve always asked to be thin. But

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it' s just that I'
ve also asked for a lot at home

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and of course it' s known
that the opposite is worth the shit.

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And yet. Still. I'
m telling you, everything I' ve

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kept, I' ve been keeping
up these years. I' m not

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that bad, because you can do
it to me. I' m not

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that much of a jog, but, as I' d say the Norway

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lobster, it' s all about
getting on, and I' ve been

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playing sports and I' ve stayed
until I broke my knee playing Rugby.

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That' s also what I'
m thinking. He' s telling you

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he doesn' t hit you at
all. You' re hit by the

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classic ballet. I don' t
know anymore, but I lost that train.

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I lost it because my knee'
s stuck. He' s so

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into it. It doesn' t
get through the breakup. This isn'

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t bullshit, this isn' t
bullshit. I' ve got it fucked

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up. Really. I had to
go to the traumatologist for this. I

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went to the traumatologist and I swear
to God the first thing he said to

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me as he agreed. I walked
in the door. It' s gonna

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have to wear out and I say
look at sorlock medicine studied wouldn' t

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be the nortito. They' ve
already done it to me in that now

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they call buoniing You' re going
to say something I want to say.

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You' re going to work,
what do you recommend, astita, there

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' s exercise. I don'
t have to do everything. I'

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m gonna get your paycheck, motherfucker. I fae, I fae a lot,

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man, no, not that at
least it pretends to look at the

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fizha that I checked the sources that
I was already fat before I broke my

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knee. I was already fat.
It' s not the jusa, it

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' s not good for me.
I was already fat. And this didn

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' t sound like it. And
now I need silence because I know it

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sounds, it wasn' t going
to sound. It said the sound of

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your dead. It' s not
fixed. This is fucked up. This

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sounds like a village fair. You' re gonna ride the monologue. It

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' s like this, and you
don' t think that the one who

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' s crazy is the monkey.
You know, this is bullshit I don

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' t like it That' s
why they always blame health when someone'

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s fat or when someone' s
fat, but then you know that'

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s killing me, but I'
m still upset about fucking shitty hippies.

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I' m sorry if any of
you just face the typical ones who tell

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you. Aunt ale cas your body. Your body is wise. You'

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ve never heard that body thing is
wise. It' s almost your body.

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Ma' am, if I were
home, my body would sleep sixteen

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hours a day and weigh two hundred
and fifty pounds pure two hundred. It

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' s just that it' s
true to touch people who say the body

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is wise. I say that'
s not scientific rigor, and that'

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s a lie. If the body
were wise, there would never be what

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I call the Bloodmer effect, which
is when you get the rule and hangover.

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That' s not wise. That' s what this motherfucker is.

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What a body I' m hesitant
about. My body' s got a

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look at me, it' s
got a mess, I' ve got

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gray hairs coming out, they'
re starting to want other splinters. Now

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I don' t have a problem
with that, but I' m also

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starting to sais grains. I haven' t had grains in my whole life,

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neither in that, nor in puberty, nor in adolescence, nor in

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the time of making me many wages, never grains. But now with the

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gray hairs, all together, all
together. He put it there for me.

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Dude, uh, man, I' m confused that you' re

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looking at twenty- seven pussies,
sixty- two. A little bit of

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balance. A little bit of balance
is bullshit, and besides, when they

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hit it, it still doesn'
t lower my rule. Six months he

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put the rule in like that without
taking off. I had to go to

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the gynecologist too and as she walked
in the door. She tells me you

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' ve gotten really fat lately and
I, like Mira Whatson, don'

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t have a boyfriend. Another kills
something that the hell is going on,

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because nobody here wants to work.
Ha later, then the crack was my

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nice. He told me not to
tell you because you have a polycystic ovary

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that I already know what I'
m thinking. I know the guys I

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' ve lost since I said.
Gynecologist, I' m not interested in

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my polycystic mario theme either It sounded
like something like I went to the Pope

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de Poblos wedding and they put us
in a muses pita bread. The polycystic

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father. My Greek accent sucks,
but the other Greek I' m good

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at, let me explain the case. He told me not to see polycystic

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ovary meaning various vague. So I
say like the rest of the body and

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materialized up here. A minimum service
is that it commands here There' s

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use of this which is uh,
I feel bad, why don' t

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you call it a vague variety and
that' s it. The sound of

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the name is that it' s
the desire to make the case dizzy It

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' s a bitch. She'
s a bitch and you' re thinking

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she' s got to see all
this as she' s fat plot twist

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turns out here fat has testosterola,
she' s got you is torterone male

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hormone. For those of you who
don' t know this is three tiger

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jokes, these telana have male hormones. Okay, so I' m an

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inside guy who explains that I like
porn so much and blame it on the

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issue of my problem. But it' s a bitch. She' s

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a little slut, she' s
a bitch, she doesn' t look

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like it, but she' s
a bitch because, well, between the

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borbonic and that I' m going
more verb than Jordi Wyne. If I

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want blood, it' s the
roo of the pussy. I' m

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going to have to buy a Soa
Owski vibrator worth the aunt, already told

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me, tells me, but you
want to have his and not that good,

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because if you don' t want
so many children, nothing happens.

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I mean, don' t get
confused. It' s different. I

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don' t want to have children
and I' ve never really wanted to.

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I mean, I' m not
gonna say the typical thing about giving

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a figure, because let' s
be honest. I took care of it

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all by myself. But if you
remove in the chichi that I' ve

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seen photos, that stays as if
you dropped a pistol just a barbershop.

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That' s a wreck. Or
they' ll seal it for you,

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they' ll put the other daughter
in you. There to smoke joints.

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Then I' m scared, I' ll look at myself. I'

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ve got Jimenez doing a psychophony.
Hey, I' m not kiddin',

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but he scratched me Don' t
think I' m not touching the

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girls. You' ll understand,
you don' t call him not wanting

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to have children, not being able
to have children. I scratched a lot

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and scratched a lot and realized that
I wanted the same thing as everyone else.

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I want to be able to get
pregnant and abort. I have the

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right to abortion. Hell, yeah, feminist, yeah, pro chois what

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' s up, thanks. What
if this ace can kill me to see

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the skinny ones or what I want
too. That' s why. That

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' s why he gave me a
lot of frogs. I got really scratched.

207
00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:30.240
I stayed or not. I felt
good. I started a very,

208
00:13:30.559 --> 00:13:33.360
very, very, very convulsive spiral. Not free buffel and junk food.

209
00:13:33.159 --> 00:13:37.639
You' re thinking of nobody.
You mean junk food. Don' t

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00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:41.360
touch bottom Some bakeries still have pictures
of me to attend to. I mean,

211
00:13:43.000 --> 00:13:46.879
yeah, I was breaking up personal
relationships and he' s gonna have

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00:13:46.879 --> 00:13:48.720
a flea market without realizing he'
s got a problem. Until one day

213
00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:52.879
I realized I had a problem.
He left a bathroom at 4 a m

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00:13:54.240 --> 00:13:58.120
on New Year' s Eve with
Jaime Marichalar and Miguel Miguel Bosé. I

215
00:13:58.200 --> 00:14:03.840
saw a mirror with a white film, the istra of guilt because I was

216
00:14:03.879 --> 00:14:11.759
eating a desaimada and there I realized
that I had a problem because I still

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00:14:11.759 --> 00:14:16.159
had Annun going up to the tiles
of cocaine. Man, thanks a lot.

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00:14:16.320 --> 00:14:16.919
That' s it.