July 30, 2024
Miguel Iribar - Socialcoholico

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Committee Central Podcast. Thank you so
much, buddy. Thank you so much.
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I' m Miguel Iribar You'
ve been delighted to be here.
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The truth is, comedians travel a
lot. One day we can touch such
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a beautiful place, with nice people, looking as healthy as having eaten as
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a child, very good ham and
the next day you can go to a
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village of deep Spain, with people
with only one eyebrow, with primitive expression,
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as of the time when the human
being had no awareness of himself,
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people who look at you badly.
And this makes us a little crazy,
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because it' s like one day
a beautiful playmate comes to your bed that
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says Miguel, I don' t
know what' s going on, but
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you make me horny and the next
day you get a Polish truck driver who
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tells you to come over here.
My little servatillo is hard. The only
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thing that comforts us is that at
least we' re working in bars and
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I get along very well with the
drunks. I love that Spain is an
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alcoholic country, from Spain. No. Spain is a drunk country and it
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' s nice. I mean.
I don' t like it. Not
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bad. Spain is the only country
in the world where you can see a
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super serious guy, super convinced,
telling you no, man, yesterday I
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left until 5: 30 in the
morning. I didn' t feel like
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going out. You know I was
there. Thank you, but I give
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you joy. People say no,
man, we' re not so partying.
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What happens in Spain is wine culture. It' s just saying collateral
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year, humanitarian bombing. There is
no economic crisis, there is negative growth
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and wine culture. No. No, no, I' m a whore.
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I like suspended love. Anyway.
No, no, no, we
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have wine culture. I don'
t have such a bad time as when
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I go to a restaurant and I
have to order wine, because I'
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m a cateto. I don'
t understand wine and the waiter always recognizes
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you for some reason and wants to
fuck you that you get there. The
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guy already sees you from afar saying
look a prick come here, wait for
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you to come there with your nightgown
and it varies. I know it'
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s you He' s a little
shirt guy He' s an outrage at
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those guys you' re going around. Come on, come on You'
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re coming with your girlfriend to impress. Come on, come on, you
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order wine, come on You'
re going? Who' s going to
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order? Who' s going to
taste the wine, uh, the lady
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or the loser, the loser has
touched you come and you' ve and
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you' ve become. If he
doesn' t do that shit to you,
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see what you' re saying,
no. I like not to wait
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like this. One second. I
tend to look at my girlfriend, look
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at her and say, uh,
red you know how best and if she
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hasn' t noticed that you'
re laughing at him, you tell her
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uh. Go back to oaks,
tannins and mistol so fry gallo and bring
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it back to me again. No. The truth is, it' s
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okay, it' s okay.
I do it a lot of restaurants.
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I grew up, well, I
grew up in Triana. Anyway, I
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' ll tell you about the few
restaurants I' ve ever been to.
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But I saw her in Madrid.
I live in Lavapies, a multicultural neighborhood,
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really has a lot of people of
all colors, of all stories,
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it' s fucking cool. There' s the only ones I care about
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are a little bit the Chinese that
I think there' s mogollón that'
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s great, not that you like
him, I mean, there' s
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mogollón everywhere. They' re people
you empathize with, they don' t
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smile at, they' re cool, but they' re people who work
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20 hours straight, don' t
give them time for breakfast. The Spaniards
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had breakfast for twenty hours in a
row, it doesn' t give us
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time to work. Okay we'
re, we' re bad China is
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absorbing everybody' s debt, it' s buying log banks I' m
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probably special, but the day I
go to a Spanish bank and find it
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all full of Chinese taking care of
me I' m fucking, I don
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' t want my money to have
it a rock that has as a pet
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a shitty kitty that does so it' s worth because first I don'
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t trust cats and second, that
cat clearly doesn' t save. He
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' s playing the slots and he
gives you the way he gives you,
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like he' s going down,
so don' t be cool, they
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' re buying. Besides, Spanish
restaurants are catching it too and they already
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do things like that. The day
I went to an Asturian cider shop.
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I see a china scansi like this
from Lascancia Zildai, who was doing well
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on top of it, but you
say trongo, that is, I'
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ve been having nightmares for two days
because he says man, this is going
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to change everything, that is,
I' ve been dreaming about a chinese
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coming to me and saying hello,
uncle I' m going to be monologue
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today. You sell beer at the
door and besides, man, it all
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comes from China to see the phones
come from China. The clothes, the
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shoes, the toys of your children, all the technology, the cars,
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almost everything comes from China. Everything
and we still have the little shame of
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when our children ask Momyo, where
I come from, we tell him from
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Paris, he says how I can
tell him from Paris, how we can
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have that little shame has always freaked
me out in every way we say to
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the children who come from Paris.
Be it me, I imagine Jonathan Jesus
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among Bujena with three years old,
coming out of his Andalusian corral, seeing
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his mother hanging a pair of pink
polka dots. Tell Mom where she came
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from, for your son from Paris
already sees me there a little Frenchy,
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not a little too much unfinished boy. Not very much I must read.
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He won' t give that France
was the reference before. It was cool
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with me. When France was the
fucking reference you saw there I don'
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t know the encyclopedia, the illustration, the vague cloud already cost that it
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was like Happy Rodriguez from the source, but water resist that it was cool,
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that it travels, that you said
fuck how cool it doesn' t
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and it really says that you don' t need to do so much for
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humanity and it says that already with
the French sex it says you have fulfilled.
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You know it' s all right. In addition, the mystery is
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well cultivated. The French have this
scroll of this phrase, not the French
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one. She' s a lady
on the street, but a whore in
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bed. Maybe I don' t
fucking believe it, but I' m
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intrigued. You know he' s
leaving me curious here. Not the only
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thing I don' t forgive the
French is pronunciation. I mean, guys,
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what do you do like your pronunciation? No, no, I'
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m not prepared to assume that pronunciation. I mean, I was going fu
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Fax is written fuck don' t
fuck with a thousand Latin fo and hey
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you say log. There are five
vowels in the alphabet, uh and or
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u use three o, the I
and the e missing two, the U
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and the how you pronounce it was
with two balls. All this I say
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to be cool and show that I
have studies. You know if I'
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m cool, I have studies.
I did a career, I did journalism,
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a very difficult career. Don'
t laugh so much, you bastards.
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I mean, it' s a
race where you have to be competing
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with people who are in an intensive
potato regimen. Frita beer and joints is
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good and you have to be there, that is to say, the journalist
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leads a hard life, that is, you see him when you see street
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people saying there' s a reporter
there' s a yonkeye, but who
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' s who isn' t,
that is, you stay there there'
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s a bunch of truncheons in journalism, a mogollón you see people because they
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directly plant marijuana and already seem to
have married a very possessive woman, who
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has it overwhelmed. And you see
him there with pesticides, with cuttings,
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with lamps, with weather risk,
with microscopes that you say asshole guy with
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this lab, that you have mountain, that I know helps find a cancer
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vaccine, says forgive people with cancer
are my best clients. It' s
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not cool with me either, the
harmless smokers, the cool smokers, not
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this guy thing. I actually studied
smoking uncle and I prove he says the
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least bad thing he studies medicine,
motherfucker, not because he means, then
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man. There are people who are
leaving. These joints are the ones that
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end it like in two, not
making documentaries of the being in Getti,
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that says pasta, of being in
Getti bastard relax. Then there were journalists
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who already passed a little more,
ended up with a little worse, abused
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it with harder drugs and ended up
in intereconomy. Well, a little more
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fucked up. But it' s
okay. No, but mostly in college
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what was there were college girls.
The college girl is a wonder that happens
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to you at that age. It' s a very nice thing. You
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play a little bit of having friends. Well, who says friends. She
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says friend with a right to rub
or rub and with a right friend or
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wine culture or whatever the fuck she
wants, you don' t care,
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but you play, don' t, and suddenly you start to realize the
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limits. It doesn' t say
good. Okay, I see this chick
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who' s a cute little girl
I' m his friend with, but
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you fuck up the day she tells
you. Joye, Miguel, the truth
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is that you' re a solete
and you' re, uh, forgiving
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insults you or I disrespect you at
some point, I mean, if you
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ever get called solete, I keep
in mind that you' re being reduced
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to the lowest of human beings.
Okay, I mean, it' s
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really sad. Do not allow yourselves
to fight for your right. Don'
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t let them ever call you single, because there' s no aunt.
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There won' t be any aunt. Have her call a friend and tell
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Auntie. Yesterday I was fucking like
a bitch with whom with a solete does
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not exist and will not exist.
There are like and there are times that
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you really try to work it out
and it says good I' m going
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to be a friend and you'
re going to eat coffee, that you
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' ve seen it out there in
the movies I know you' re going
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to have coffee and the three teas
sometimes like a little thing, like you
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worry without realizing it, you have
gestures without intention, but that worry us
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like this mania of some of you
to support, like the brews on the
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table, with much naturalness that you
fall as in your hypnosis. You don
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' t get broken your whole life. All you want to do is satisfy
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windy comes out or you' re
fucked. And then there are times when
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you have these little phrases that you
also say as without evil because you women
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have no evil truth. You are
lovely and excellent beings, but sometimes you
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say suddenly jor you know. The
truth is, they always tell me that
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she sucks it very well. I
really don' t know how glad you
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give me this useful information. I
don' t mean, you' re
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stuck being careful. There are many
too many topics, perhaps about relationships.
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There' s no such thing as
a topic bothers me especially that it'
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s this one that says any woman
can hook up with the guy she wants.
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I' d like it to be
clear that this topic is completely true.
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Okay. But it' s not
our fault, I mean, it
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' s not our fault. This
is a serious evolutionary problem, because when
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an aunt, if an aunt grabs
the package, she lowers your t-
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shirt with the intention of making a
case for you an infinite affellation, that
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leaves your eyes blank. You can' t stop her. You can'
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t say no. But it'
s not because you like them. No,
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it' s not because you want
to, not because you want to,
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because it' s good, because
you want to. It' s
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not just because, after millions of
years of evolution, nature hasn' t
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thought of an answer for that It' s okay, so it' s
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not thought of, that is,
it' s stalled. There' s
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a limit point, like when kittens
get caught by the neck you make.
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That' s how you know there' s nothing to reproach. I mean,
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that' s right. But I' ve said a term that may
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have offended people if you' re
perhaps too much of a Catholic or a
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Republican American. He said of evolution, eh pardon or intended. Thank you
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you know these creationists are many times
people, with studies that have made cattle
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even more difficult than journalism, and
that and that tells you it is not
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totally impossible, that it is man
come from the monkey by evolution, says
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man. The truth is, looking
at you and listening to you, it
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really doesn' t make sense to
talk about evolution. No, but not
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well. Now there' s a
theme. Now with religion. It'
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s not getting any less fashionable.
I think that above all Christianity may be
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having a little low hours. Things
like Buddhism are getting fashionable. I believe
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that there is an obvious reason,
that is, a crucified Christ cannot compete
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with a Buddha in an ibiza chalet
as a decorative object. It' s
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much cooler, that is, you' re placed in an ibiza chalet,
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full of goboz house music You see
a Christ crucified there and he says snoring
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what happened to you. You look
like a big or big gold Buddha,
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she says pussy. Carlos Jin you
know how there' s roll. I
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don' t know, it'
s funny. I am very shocked at
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religion, because there are, like
many religions, everyone believes that it is
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their religion. His religion is absolutely
true. I think there' s a
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problem, which is that, of
course God had like the mania to introduce
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himself a lot of years ago to
people like in a cave, in a
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mountain. Sometimes they didn' t
know how to read that it' s
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like coming under a bridge, telling
your shit here to someone who knows what
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and then a medic arrives and tells
you how the message got confused. Okay,
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there' s too much, but
it' s okay. I really,
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if there is God, right,
I think I should go out today
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on television, in preintime pussy comes
out in Telecinco short for a little while,
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the save me is worth to put
a can to Jorge Javier Vázquez tells
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00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:05.840
me come rod there, eh that
explodes all the silicone of the set causing
207
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:16.840
the chaos is good and no bush, burning ah what more to bel In
208
00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:18.919
Esteban it is worth that people see
it. Of course say Miracle Bethlehem Stephen
209
00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:22.399
has quieted down, you know so
that they know and you already count.
210
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:24.679
Whatever you want, I don'
t care. I don' t care
211
00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:26.440
what you want, that' s
cool and you take off a little bit.
212
00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:30.759
This widespread confusion, which is the
bath as scratched. No. No,
213
00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:31.519
it' s all in the Bible, it' s all in the
214
00:15:31.519 --> 00:15:33.559
Bible. It' s all in
the Bible. Liste people say Uncle,
215
00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:39.639
to see the Bible log that is
they always tell you in contracts be careful
216
00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:45.039
because they put it folded with the
small print. The Bible is 3,
217
00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:56.200
000 pages of small print. Okay, it' s a scratch and people
218
00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:58.519
just as they don' t read
it clearly, good people, they don
219
00:15:58.639 --> 00:15:58.600
' t have the paper worth the
Bible by the balls. He' s
220
00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:00.240
cleared because God is so good.
God I don' t know how much,
221
00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:02.759
Uncle, and I' ve read
myself a little bit of that little
222
00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:06.799
print. God has very chungy,
very chungy parts. And it' s
223
00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:11.440
not only violent, but sometimes it' s freaky, that is, there
224
00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:11.480
' s a passage. I swear
it' s true. It' s
225
00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:14.639
a little freaky, but I swear
it' s true. You can look
226
00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:18.120
for him. Second Book of Kings, chapter two verses, twenty- three
227
00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:21.519
and twenty- four speak of the
prophet Elisha. Who the fuck is Elisha,
228
00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:25.759
I don' t know. They
talk about Elisha and he says the
229
00:16:25.799 --> 00:16:30.720
passage and going up Elisha through the
mountain, some kids who went after him
230
00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:37.200
mocked him. They called him bald, go bald, go up I swear
231
00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:45.519
he said that is right and Elisha
saw them and cursed them in the name
232
00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:52.679
of Jehovah. And the LORD sent
two bears who tore forty- two of
233
00:16:52.879 --> 00:17:06.240
those boys apart, you say," Shut up for calling a fucking prophet
234
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:11.359
bald" You send two bears to
tear apart forty- two young trunks who
235
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:18.079
are uncles, man, roll up, put the pop- guy Elisha'
236
00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:18.559
s mane from the singer of Urope
and say for you you know. I
237
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:29.400
don' t know. The church
has a little point sometimes a little short
238
00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:33.559
run. He fucked up three hundred
years ago in a forest, some ladies
239
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.200
of the village were going to make
their coven of good vibe, to peel
240
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:40.920
off, to get a little high
with some honguitos that we have all done
241
00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:44.359
once and nothing happens and to dance
around a bonfire and reach a fellow priest
242
00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:48.839
and burn them. What he says
Let' s see, man, I
243
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.480
mean, you' re a guy, what to say if a man goes
244
00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:03.000
out into the country and finds some
chicks in highballs dancing and the first thing
245
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:08.319
you can think of, the best
thing is to burn them the same way
246
00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:11.160
you don' t like chicks,
you don' t mean maybe you prefer
247
00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:19.359
smaller people. I don' t
know what' s gonna happen to you.
248
00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:22.039
That doesn' t happen anymore.
That doesn' t happen anymore,
249
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:26.759
but fuck all of a sudden you
say joaige with sex. There' s
250
00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:29.880
like a problem. It makes me
very nervous that priests talk to me about
251
00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:33.839
sex. I mean meat. I
like that the butcher speaks to me,
252
00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.000
it' s good of buildings,
the architect to fuck, so talk to
253
00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:40.880
me. I don' t know
Nacho Vidal, my cousin speaking to me
254
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:44.200
from the village, who knows a
lot. I don' t know people,
255
00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:45.480
competent people, because I see the
priests of the village. Dude,
256
00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:48.680
these guys are kind of fat with
their noses red and red and so and
257
00:18:48.680 --> 00:18:53.440
so and I say jo, this
kid' s grown up like any kid
258
00:18:53.519 --> 00:19:00.920
in a good- natured olive calahorra, throwing stones at him with lizards,
259
00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:02.359
playing his little things that one day
he starts to find out no and you
260
00:19:02.359 --> 00:19:06.079
say fuck. I think God is
talking to me and I' m going
261
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:07.960
to start telling everyone what' s
sin and not that I think it'
262
00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:10.720
s cool. Everyone hears as if
you think you' re a goat I
263
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:15.559
get hairy, I think it'
s cool, but I' ve become
264
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:22.440
a Catholic bride that can happen.
And all of a sudden, that guy
265
00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:26.400
is confessing and she seems to tell
him father how it is, well,
266
00:19:26.599 --> 00:19:29.519
well, here' s good,
because I ate good things that tell me
267
00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:30.799
a little bit, what you do
with you, with your husband. You
268
00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:33.880
say good, so normal. I
don' t know a bit about posture.
269
00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:37.720
The missionary will know more or less
what is a little bit of so
270
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:41.640
four legs, a little bit above. I don' t know, by
271
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:48.480
the way, I suck them very
well, he says and he says ah
272
00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:52.359
yes, let' s say,
because to God it seems fatal and to
273
00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:52.839
you, father, good. It
makes me a little sick, too bad,
274
00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:56.759
but it makes me sick. But
from now on, you' re
275
00:19:56.839 --> 00:19:59.359
taking that off and I' ll
tell you one thing. I respect.
276
00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:02.240
It' s everyone who believes whatever
they want, but like me, once
277
00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:06.960
in my life, because of a
priest I lose a single blowjob I go
278
00:20:07.119 --> 00:20:22.559
with two bears and I blow them
up. You' re good here and
279
00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:23.960
I' m good here, but
no, the daughter says. It'
280
00:20:23.960 --> 00:20:26.920
s not that then, if you
don' t believe in the spiritual,
281
00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:30.720
you fall into believing the miracles of
the material. He' s right.
282
00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:33.279
There are times when we believe in
material in a pathetic way. Last year,
283
00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:37.519
I' ll remember it as the
sad year when we all started wanting
284
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:45.079
to buy the power ballance bras to
remember the balance bras. Someone' s
285
00:20:45.319 --> 00:20:48.599
still carrying that little push- button
somewhere in his body. There' s
286
00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.440
no wow wow like that psychosis.
You said fucking dude I fell out of
287
00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:53.559
your mind' cause you don'
t have that pretty little brat I'
288
00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:56.880
m wearing. I mean, I
haven' t seen a piece of plastic
289
00:20:56.920 --> 00:21:03.400
more overrated since the flavor condoms.
Or you know, this miserable strategy of
290
00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:04.319
man, which is to invent flavor
condoms, which is like look, you
291
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:08.359
know strawberry in test, which is
like miserable. Well, there' s
292
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:11.519
something even more miserable that' s
like it doesn' t have protein than
293
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:15.720
that. There are horrible things,
but then I didn' t really believe
294
00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:19.279
it. But deep down there'
s a subject I' m iriber by
295
00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.960
last name. You know, it' s funny that in the Basque Country
296
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:26.720
it was where most bracelets were sold
from all over Spain. They sold themselves,
297
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.920
like, pussy- speaking. The
idea of Spain don' t buy
298
00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:30.799
it, but pushers have shoved it
up the ass. Well, no,
299
00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:41.359
but no. Now I' m
eribar that there was some part of me.
300
00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:44.759
I think I wanted the bra,
Joe said, I like that,
301
00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:48.400
but of course, the other half
is Andalusian. No, we are descendants
302
00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:56.839
of Phoenicians, Arabs and Gypsies.
You come to me with a magic pusher
303
00:21:56.920 --> 00:21:59.279
of god or log, that trick, I know. You know, no,
304
00:21:59.359 --> 00:22:02.720
don' t fuck with me.
I believe there is also an issue
305
00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:06.599
of education. You don' t
have to be a little on the lookout
306
00:22:06.599 --> 00:22:08.720
for what' s going on.
I don' t know how to be
307
00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:14.200
a bit critical, and I say
that it belongs to a chunga generation that
308
00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:19.160
has grown up with totally wrong models, like Michael Jackson is worth it,
309
00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:22.640
or a guy who basically did everything
the other way around. He was getting
310
00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:25.960
whiter instead of blacker, he had
more and more dick voice instead of more
311
00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:30.000
serious, he liked smaller people more
and more instead of bigger. And he
312
00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:33.160
says the father beat him, look, I' m sorry, but little
313
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:45.000
hit him. Okay, I mean, he didn' t say much,
314
00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:47.000
but he' s glad you'
re praising a joke about child abuse.
315
00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:49.759
Not really, it' s really
pretty. I believe that this, in
316
00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:53.400
essence, as a conclusion of a
monologue you will make it clear that,
317
00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:57.720
basically, we must be careful with
alcoholism, with the Chinese, with the
318
00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:03.680
French, with insanity, with tetohypnosis, with the press girls, but above
319
00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:07.920
all with ourselves, with ourselves,
that we are in great danger. Friend,
320
00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:15.359
Miguel Rivar, thank you very much. See you all the time.
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:18.039
Committee Central Podcast. Thank you so
much, buddy. Thank you so much.
2
00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:20.519
I' m Miguel Iribar You'
ve been delighted to be here.
3
00:00:20.679 --> 00:00:25.199
The truth is, comedians travel a
lot. One day we can touch such
4
00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:29.559
a beautiful place, with nice people, looking as healthy as having eaten as
5
00:00:29.559 --> 00:00:33.479
a child, very good ham and
the next day you can go to a
6
00:00:33.520 --> 00:00:38.000
village of deep Spain, with people
with only one eyebrow, with primitive expression,
7
00:00:38.359 --> 00:00:43.560
as of the time when the human
being had no awareness of himself,
8
00:00:43.759 --> 00:00:48.960
people who look at you badly.
And this makes us a little crazy,
9
00:00:49.039 --> 00:00:53.399
because it' s like one day
a beautiful playmate comes to your bed that
10
00:00:53.479 --> 00:00:57.159
says Miguel, I don' t
know what' s going on, but
11
00:00:57.240 --> 00:01:00.119
you make me horny and the next
day you get a Polish truck driver who
12
00:01:00.119 --> 00:01:04.519
tells you to come over here.
My little servatillo is hard. The only
13
00:01:04.519 --> 00:01:07.959
thing that comforts us is that at
least we' re working in bars and
14
00:01:08.000 --> 00:01:11.519
I get along very well with the
drunks. I love that Spain is an
15
00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:15.120
alcoholic country, from Spain. No. Spain is a drunk country and it
16
00:01:15.200 --> 00:01:15.959
' s nice. I mean.
I don' t like it. Not
17
00:01:17.400 --> 00:01:19.120
bad. Spain is the only country
in the world where you can see a
18
00:01:19.159 --> 00:01:23.319
super serious guy, super convinced,
telling you no, man, yesterday I
19
00:01:23.319 --> 00:01:26.239
left until 5: 30 in the
morning. I didn' t feel like
20
00:01:26.239 --> 00:01:38.079
going out. You know I was
there. Thank you, but I give
21
00:01:38.120 --> 00:01:40.359
you joy. People say no,
man, we' re not so partying.
22
00:01:40.439 --> 00:01:45.239
What happens in Spain is wine culture. It' s just saying collateral
23
00:01:45.239 --> 00:01:51.480
year, humanitarian bombing. There is
no economic crisis, there is negative growth
24
00:01:51.560 --> 00:01:53.280
and wine culture. No. No, no, I' m a whore.
25
00:01:53.359 --> 00:02:02.239
I like suspended love. Anyway.
No, no, no, we
26
00:02:02.239 --> 00:02:06.480
have wine culture. I don'
t have such a bad time as when
27
00:02:06.480 --> 00:02:08.400
I go to a restaurant and I
have to order wine, because I'
28
00:02:08.400 --> 00:02:12.400
m a cateto. I don'
t understand wine and the waiter always recognizes
29
00:02:12.479 --> 00:02:15.800
you for some reason and wants to
fuck you that you get there. The
30
00:02:15.840 --> 00:02:19.439
guy already sees you from afar saying
look a prick come here, wait for
31
00:02:19.520 --> 00:02:22.159
you to come there with your nightgown
and it varies. I know it'
32
00:02:22.159 --> 00:02:24.159
s you He' s a little
shirt guy He' s an outrage at
33
00:02:24.159 --> 00:02:27.599
those guys you' re going around. Come on, come on You'
34
00:02:27.639 --> 00:02:29.560
re coming with your girlfriend to impress. Come on, come on, you
35
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:30.439
order wine, come on You'
re going? Who' s going to
36
00:02:30.439 --> 00:02:32.759
order? Who' s going to
taste the wine, uh, the lady
37
00:02:32.840 --> 00:02:37.159
or the loser, the loser has
touched you come and you' ve and
38
00:02:37.159 --> 00:02:40.319
you' ve become. If he
doesn' t do that shit to you,
39
00:02:40.599 --> 00:02:43.680
see what you' re saying,
no. I like not to wait
40
00:02:43.919 --> 00:02:47.479
like this. One second. I
tend to look at my girlfriend, look
41
00:02:47.560 --> 00:02:57.639
at her and say, uh,
red you know how best and if she
42
00:02:57.639 --> 00:02:59.240
hasn' t noticed that you'
re laughing at him, you tell her
43
00:02:59.240 --> 00:03:05.039
uh. Go back to oaks,
tannins and mistol so fry gallo and bring
44
00:03:05.479 --> 00:03:09.360
it back to me again. No. The truth is, it' s
45
00:03:09.400 --> 00:03:12.120
okay, it' s okay.
I do it a lot of restaurants.
46
00:03:12.120 --> 00:03:14.840
I grew up, well, I
grew up in Triana. Anyway, I
47
00:03:14.879 --> 00:03:15.719
' ll tell you about the few
restaurants I' ve ever been to.
48
00:03:17.000 --> 00:03:22.000
But I saw her in Madrid.
I live in Lavapies, a multicultural neighborhood,
49
00:03:23.879 --> 00:03:27.840
really has a lot of people of
all colors, of all stories,
50
00:03:27.919 --> 00:03:30.080
it' s fucking cool. There' s the only ones I care about
51
00:03:30.120 --> 00:03:36.360
are a little bit the Chinese that
I think there' s mogollón that'
52
00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:38.599
s great, not that you like
him, I mean, there' s
53
00:03:38.599 --> 00:03:40.520
mogollón everywhere. They' re people
you empathize with, they don' t
54
00:03:42.080 --> 00:03:45.680
smile at, they' re cool, but they' re people who work
55
00:03:45.719 --> 00:03:47.719
20 hours straight, don' t
give them time for breakfast. The Spaniards
56
00:03:47.759 --> 00:03:51.319
had breakfast for twenty hours in a
row, it doesn' t give us
57
00:03:51.319 --> 00:04:01.599
time to work. Okay we'
re, we' re bad China is
58
00:04:01.719 --> 00:04:06.400
absorbing everybody' s debt, it' s buying log banks I' m
59
00:04:06.439 --> 00:04:10.400
probably special, but the day I
go to a Spanish bank and find it
60
00:04:10.479 --> 00:04:15.080
all full of Chinese taking care of
me I' m fucking, I don
61
00:04:15.120 --> 00:04:17.680
' t want my money to have
it a rock that has as a pet
62
00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:23.480
a shitty kitty that does so it' s worth because first I don'
63
00:04:23.560 --> 00:04:24.800
t trust cats and second, that
cat clearly doesn' t save. He
64
00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:28.759
' s playing the slots and he
gives you the way he gives you,
65
00:04:29.480 --> 00:04:30.319
like he' s going down,
so don' t be cool, they
66
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:34.000
' re buying. Besides, Spanish
restaurants are catching it too and they already
67
00:04:34.040 --> 00:04:36.920
do things like that. The day
I went to an Asturian cider shop.
68
00:04:39.639 --> 00:04:45.160
I see a china scansi like this
from Lascancia Zildai, who was doing well
69
00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:47.120
on top of it, but you
say trongo, that is, I'
70
00:04:48.199 --> 00:04:50.759
ve been having nightmares for two days
because he says man, this is going
71
00:04:50.839 --> 00:04:54.759
to change everything, that is,
I' ve been dreaming about a chinese
72
00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:57.120
coming to me and saying hello,
uncle I' m going to be monologue
73
00:04:57.120 --> 00:05:06.560
today. You sell beer at the
door and besides, man, it all
74
00:05:06.639 --> 00:05:10.680
comes from China to see the phones
come from China. The clothes, the
75
00:05:10.759 --> 00:05:15.040
shoes, the toys of your children, all the technology, the cars,
76
00:05:15.079 --> 00:05:17.920
almost everything comes from China. Everything
and we still have the little shame of
77
00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:21.800
when our children ask Momyo, where
I come from, we tell him from
78
00:05:24.680 --> 00:05:28.720
Paris, he says how I can
tell him from Paris, how we can
79
00:05:28.759 --> 00:05:30.759
have that little shame has always freaked
me out in every way we say to
80
00:05:30.759 --> 00:05:33.720
the children who come from Paris.
Be it me, I imagine Jonathan Jesus
81
00:05:33.759 --> 00:05:41.439
among Bujena with three years old,
coming out of his Andalusian corral, seeing
82
00:05:41.480 --> 00:05:46.639
his mother hanging a pair of pink
polka dots. Tell Mom where she came
83
00:05:46.759 --> 00:05:51.800
from, for your son from Paris
already sees me there a little Frenchy,
84
00:05:53.560 --> 00:06:03.759
not a little too much unfinished boy. Not very much I must read.
85
00:06:03.800 --> 00:06:08.279
He won' t give that France
was the reference before. It was cool
86
00:06:08.319 --> 00:06:11.240
with me. When France was the
fucking reference you saw there I don'
87
00:06:11.240 --> 00:06:15.759
t know the encyclopedia, the illustration, the vague cloud already cost that it
88
00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:18.240
was like Happy Rodriguez from the source, but water resist that it was cool,
89
00:06:18.720 --> 00:06:24.920
that it travels, that you said
fuck how cool it doesn' t
90
00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:27.759
and it really says that you don' t need to do so much for
91
00:06:27.759 --> 00:06:27.759
humanity and it says that already with
the French sex it says you have fulfilled.
92
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You know it' s all right. In addition, the mystery is
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well cultivated. The French have this
scroll of this phrase, not the French
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one. She' s a lady
on the street, but a whore in
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00:06:39.199 --> 00:06:42.439
bed. Maybe I don' t
fucking believe it, but I' m
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00:06:42.439 --> 00:06:46.920
intrigued. You know he' s
leaving me curious here. Not the only
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00:06:46.959 --> 00:06:50.600
thing I don' t forgive the
French is pronunciation. I mean, guys,
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00:06:50.759 --> 00:06:54.000
what do you do like your pronunciation? No, no, I'
99
00:06:54.040 --> 00:07:00.519
m not prepared to assume that pronunciation. I mean, I was going fu
100
00:07:00.560 --> 00:07:08.319
Fax is written fuck don' t
fuck with a thousand Latin fo and hey
101
00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:12.480
you say log. There are five
vowels in the alphabet, uh and or
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00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:17.079
u use three o, the I
and the e missing two, the U
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and the how you pronounce it was
with two balls. All this I say
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00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:33.279
to be cool and show that I
have studies. You know if I'
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00:07:34.199 --> 00:07:36.720
m cool, I have studies.
I did a career, I did journalism,
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00:07:36.959 --> 00:07:44.240
a very difficult career. Don'
t laugh so much, you bastards.
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00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:47.000
I mean, it' s a
race where you have to be competing
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00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:55.120
with people who are in an intensive
potato regimen. Frita beer and joints is
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good and you have to be there, that is to say, the journalist
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00:08:00.879 --> 00:08:03.040
leads a hard life, that is, you see him when you see street
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people saying there' s a reporter
there' s a yonkeye, but who
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00:08:15.360 --> 00:08:18.480
' s who isn' t,
that is, you stay there there'
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00:08:18.560 --> 00:08:24.040
s a bunch of truncheons in journalism, a mogollón you see people because they
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directly plant marijuana and already seem to
have married a very possessive woman, who
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has it overwhelmed. And you see
him there with pesticides, with cuttings,
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00:08:28.839 --> 00:08:35.879
with lamps, with weather risk,
with microscopes that you say asshole guy with
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00:08:35.879 --> 00:08:39.080
this lab, that you have mountain, that I know helps find a cancer
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00:08:39.080 --> 00:08:43.840
vaccine, says forgive people with cancer
are my best clients. It' s
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00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:48.240
not cool with me either, the
harmless smokers, the cool smokers, not
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00:08:48.240 --> 00:08:52.080
this guy thing. I actually studied
smoking uncle and I prove he says the
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00:08:52.240 --> 00:08:56.200
least bad thing he studies medicine,
motherfucker, not because he means, then
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man. There are people who are
leaving. These joints are the ones that
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00:09:05.960 --> 00:09:09.559
end it like in two, not
making documentaries of the being in Getti,
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00:09:09.799 --> 00:09:13.919
that says pasta, of being in
Getti bastard relax. Then there were journalists
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00:09:13.960 --> 00:09:16.000
who already passed a little more,
ended up with a little worse, abused
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00:09:16.039 --> 00:09:20.639
it with harder drugs and ended up
in intereconomy. Well, a little more
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00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:30.799
fucked up. But it' s
okay. No, but mostly in college
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00:09:31.000 --> 00:09:35.679
what was there were college girls.
The college girl is a wonder that happens
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00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:37.159
to you at that age. It' s a very nice thing. You
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00:09:37.200 --> 00:09:41.159
play a little bit of having friends. Well, who says friends. She
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00:09:41.519 --> 00:09:46.519
says friend with a right to rub
or rub and with a right friend or
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00:09:46.600 --> 00:09:48.600
wine culture or whatever the fuck she
wants, you don' t care,
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00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:52.200
but you play, don' t, and suddenly you start to realize the
134
00:09:52.200 --> 00:09:52.840
limits. It doesn' t say
good. Okay, I see this chick
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00:09:52.879 --> 00:09:56.759
who' s a cute little girl
I' m his friend with, but
136
00:09:56.799 --> 00:09:58.399
you fuck up the day she tells
you. Joye, Miguel, the truth
137
00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:07.159
is that you' re a solete
and you' re, uh, forgiving
138
00:10:07.240 --> 00:10:09.919
insults you or I disrespect you at
some point, I mean, if you
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00:10:09.960 --> 00:10:15.440
ever get called solete, I keep
in mind that you' re being reduced
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00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:18.799
to the lowest of human beings.
Okay, I mean, it' s
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00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:20.919
really sad. Do not allow yourselves
to fight for your right. Don'
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00:10:20.919 --> 00:10:24.320
t let them ever call you single, because there' s no aunt.
143
00:10:24.399 --> 00:10:26.600
There won' t be any aunt. Have her call a friend and tell
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00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:33.120
Auntie. Yesterday I was fucking like
a bitch with whom with a solete does
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00:10:33.679 --> 00:10:35.440
not exist and will not exist.
There are like and there are times that
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00:10:35.519 --> 00:10:39.639
you really try to work it out
and it says good I' m going
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00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:41.919
to be a friend and you'
re going to eat coffee, that you
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00:10:41.000 --> 00:10:43.600
' ve seen it out there in
the movies I know you' re going
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00:10:43.639 --> 00:10:50.759
to have coffee and the three teas
sometimes like a little thing, like you
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00:10:50.759 --> 00:10:54.440
worry without realizing it, you have
gestures without intention, but that worry us
151
00:10:54.480 --> 00:11:01.639
like this mania of some of you
to support, like the brews on the
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00:11:01.639 --> 00:11:01.919
table, with much naturalness that you
fall as in your hypnosis. You don
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00:11:01.960 --> 00:11:07.679
' t get broken your whole life. All you want to do is satisfy
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00:11:07.840 --> 00:11:13.320
windy comes out or you' re
fucked. And then there are times when
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00:11:13.399 --> 00:11:16.240
you have these little phrases that you
also say as without evil because you women
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00:11:16.279 --> 00:11:22.360
have no evil truth. You are
lovely and excellent beings, but sometimes you
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00:11:22.360 --> 00:11:26.000
say suddenly jor you know. The
truth is, they always tell me that
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00:11:26.080 --> 00:11:33.480
she sucks it very well. I
really don' t know how glad you
159
00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:43.679
give me this useful information. I
don' t mean, you' re
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00:11:43.720 --> 00:11:46.080
stuck being careful. There are many
too many topics, perhaps about relationships.
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00:11:46.080 --> 00:11:50.799
There' s no such thing as
a topic bothers me especially that it'
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00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:52.399
s this one that says any woman
can hook up with the guy she wants.
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00:11:54.399 --> 00:11:56.200
I' d like it to be
clear that this topic is completely true.
164
00:11:56.399 --> 00:12:01.080
Okay. But it' s not
our fault, I mean, it
165
00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:03.600
' s not our fault. This
is a serious evolutionary problem, because when
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00:12:05.279 --> 00:12:07.159
an aunt, if an aunt grabs
the package, she lowers your t-
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00:12:07.240 --> 00:12:11.399
shirt with the intention of making a
case for you an infinite affellation, that
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00:12:11.399 --> 00:12:15.960
leaves your eyes blank. You can' t stop her. You can'
169
00:12:16.080 --> 00:12:16.960
t say no. But it'
s not because you like them. No,
170
00:12:18.000 --> 00:12:20.039
it' s not because you want
to, not because you want to,
171
00:12:20.320 --> 00:12:20.799
because it' s good, because
you want to. It' s
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00:12:22.320 --> 00:12:26.360
not just because, after millions of
years of evolution, nature hasn' t
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00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:31.279
thought of an answer for that It' s okay, so it' s
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not thought of, that is,
it' s stalled. There' s
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a limit point, like when kittens
get caught by the neck you make.
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That' s how you know there' s nothing to reproach. I mean,
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00:12:50.240 --> 00:12:52.879
that' s right. But I' ve said a term that may
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00:12:52.919 --> 00:12:56.840
have offended people if you' re
perhaps too much of a Catholic or a
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00:12:56.840 --> 00:13:07.080
Republican American. He said of evolution, eh pardon or intended. Thank you
180
00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:11.960
you know these creationists are many times
people, with studies that have made cattle
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00:13:11.039 --> 00:13:15.679
even more difficult than journalism, and
that and that tells you it is not
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00:13:15.879 --> 00:13:18.639
totally impossible, that it is man
come from the monkey by evolution, says
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00:13:18.639 --> 00:13:22.919
man. The truth is, looking
at you and listening to you, it
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00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:24.639
really doesn' t make sense to
talk about evolution. No, but not
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00:13:24.919 --> 00:13:26.600
well. Now there' s a
theme. Now with religion. It'
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00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:31.519
s not getting any less fashionable.
I think that above all Christianity may be
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00:13:31.559 --> 00:13:35.399
having a little low hours. Things
like Buddhism are getting fashionable. I believe
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that there is an obvious reason,
that is, a crucified Christ cannot compete
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00:13:41.399 --> 00:13:50.120
with a Buddha in an ibiza chalet
as a decorative object. It' s
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00:13:50.320 --> 00:13:56.240
much cooler, that is, you' re placed in an ibiza chalet,
191
00:13:56.399 --> 00:14:00.879
full of goboz house music You see
a Christ crucified there and he says snoring
192
00:14:00.919 --> 00:14:03.759
what happened to you. You look
like a big or big gold Buddha,
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00:14:05.080 --> 00:14:13.399
she says pussy. Carlos Jin you
know how there' s roll. I
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00:14:13.480 --> 00:14:16.799
don' t know, it'
s funny. I am very shocked at
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00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:18.360
religion, because there are, like
many religions, everyone believes that it is
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00:14:18.440 --> 00:14:22.720
their religion. His religion is absolutely
true. I think there' s a
197
00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:26.279
problem, which is that, of
course God had like the mania to introduce
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00:14:26.360 --> 00:14:28.000
himself a lot of years ago to
people like in a cave, in a
199
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:31.039
mountain. Sometimes they didn' t
know how to read that it' s
200
00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:35.080
like coming under a bridge, telling
your shit here to someone who knows what
201
00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:37.919
and then a medic arrives and tells
you how the message got confused. Okay,
202
00:14:39.080 --> 00:14:41.080
there' s too much, but
it' s okay. I really,
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00:14:41.360 --> 00:14:46.080
if there is God, right,
I think I should go out today
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00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:54.679
on television, in preintime pussy comes
out in Telecinco short for a little while,
205
00:14:54.000 --> 00:14:58.080
the save me is worth to put
a can to Jorge Javier Vázquez tells
206
00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:05.840
me come rod there, eh that
explodes all the silicone of the set causing
207
00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:16.840
the chaos is good and no bush, burning ah what more to bel In
208
00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:18.919
Esteban it is worth that people see
it. Of course say Miracle Bethlehem Stephen
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00:15:18.919 --> 00:15:22.399
has quieted down, you know so
that they know and you already count.
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00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:24.679
Whatever you want, I don'
t care. I don' t care
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00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:26.440
what you want, that' s
cool and you take off a little bit.
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00:15:26.679 --> 00:15:30.759
This widespread confusion, which is the
bath as scratched. No. No,
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00:15:30.840 --> 00:15:31.519
it' s all in the Bible, it' s all in the
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00:15:31.519 --> 00:15:33.559
Bible. It' s all in
the Bible. Liste people say Uncle,
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00:15:33.600 --> 00:15:39.639
to see the Bible log that is
they always tell you in contracts be careful
216
00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:45.039
because they put it folded with the
small print. The Bible is 3,
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00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:56.200
000 pages of small print. Okay, it' s a scratch and people
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00:15:56.320 --> 00:15:58.519
just as they don' t read
it clearly, good people, they don
219
00:15:58.639 --> 00:15:58.600
' t have the paper worth the
Bible by the balls. He' s
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00:15:58.639 --> 00:16:00.240
cleared because God is so good.
God I don' t know how much,
221
00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:02.759
Uncle, and I' ve read
myself a little bit of that little
222
00:16:02.759 --> 00:16:06.799
print. God has very chungy,
very chungy parts. And it' s
223
00:16:06.919 --> 00:16:11.440
not only violent, but sometimes it' s freaky, that is, there
224
00:16:11.440 --> 00:16:11.480
' s a passage. I swear
it' s true. It' s
225
00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:14.639
a little freaky, but I swear
it' s true. You can look
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00:16:14.639 --> 00:16:18.120
for him. Second Book of Kings, chapter two verses, twenty- three
227
00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:21.519
and twenty- four speak of the
prophet Elisha. Who the fuck is Elisha,
228
00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:25.759
I don' t know. They
talk about Elisha and he says the
229
00:16:25.799 --> 00:16:30.720
passage and going up Elisha through the
mountain, some kids who went after him
230
00:16:30.720 --> 00:16:37.200
mocked him. They called him bald, go bald, go up I swear
231
00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:45.519
he said that is right and Elisha
saw them and cursed them in the name
232
00:16:45.519 --> 00:16:52.679
of Jehovah. And the LORD sent
two bears who tore forty- two of
233
00:16:52.879 --> 00:17:06.240
those boys apart, you say," Shut up for calling a fucking prophet
234
00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:11.359
bald" You send two bears to
tear apart forty- two young trunks who
235
00:17:11.480 --> 00:17:18.079
are uncles, man, roll up, put the pop- guy Elisha'
236
00:17:18.200 --> 00:17:18.559
s mane from the singer of Urope
and say for you you know. I
237
00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:29.400
don' t know. The church
has a little point sometimes a little short
238
00:17:29.400 --> 00:17:33.559
run. He fucked up three hundred
years ago in a forest, some ladies
239
00:17:33.720 --> 00:17:37.200
of the village were going to make
their coven of good vibe, to peel
240
00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:40.920
off, to get a little high
with some honguitos that we have all done
241
00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:44.359
once and nothing happens and to dance
around a bonfire and reach a fellow priest
242
00:17:44.480 --> 00:17:48.839
and burn them. What he says
Let' s see, man, I
243
00:17:48.880 --> 00:17:53.480
mean, you' re a guy, what to say if a man goes
244
00:17:55.920 --> 00:18:03.000
out into the country and finds some
chicks in highballs dancing and the first thing
245
00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:08.319
you can think of, the best
thing is to burn them the same way
246
00:18:08.359 --> 00:18:11.160
you don' t like chicks,
you don' t mean maybe you prefer
247
00:18:11.160 --> 00:18:19.359
smaller people. I don' t
know what' s gonna happen to you.
248
00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:22.039
That doesn' t happen anymore.
That doesn' t happen anymore,
249
00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:26.759
but fuck all of a sudden you
say joaige with sex. There' s
250
00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:29.880
like a problem. It makes me
very nervous that priests talk to me about
251
00:18:29.960 --> 00:18:33.839
sex. I mean meat. I
like that the butcher speaks to me,
252
00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.000
it' s good of buildings,
the architect to fuck, so talk to
253
00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:40.880
me. I don' t know
Nacho Vidal, my cousin speaking to me
254
00:18:40.880 --> 00:18:44.200
from the village, who knows a
lot. I don' t know people,
255
00:18:44.279 --> 00:18:45.480
competent people, because I see the
priests of the village. Dude,
256
00:18:45.680 --> 00:18:48.680
these guys are kind of fat with
their noses red and red and so and
257
00:18:48.680 --> 00:18:53.440
so and I say jo, this
kid' s grown up like any kid
258
00:18:53.519 --> 00:19:00.920
in a good- natured olive calahorra, throwing stones at him with lizards,
259
00:19:00.119 --> 00:19:02.359
playing his little things that one day
he starts to find out no and you
260
00:19:02.359 --> 00:19:06.079
say fuck. I think God is
talking to me and I' m going
261
00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:07.960
to start telling everyone what' s
sin and not that I think it'
262
00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:10.720
s cool. Everyone hears as if
you think you' re a goat I
263
00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:15.559
get hairy, I think it'
s cool, but I' ve become
264
00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:22.440
a Catholic bride that can happen.
And all of a sudden, that guy
265
00:19:22.480 --> 00:19:26.400
is confessing and she seems to tell
him father how it is, well,
266
00:19:26.599 --> 00:19:29.519
well, here' s good,
because I ate good things that tell me
267
00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:30.799
a little bit, what you do
with you, with your husband. You
268
00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:33.880
say good, so normal. I
don' t know a bit about posture.
269
00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:37.720
The missionary will know more or less
what is a little bit of so
270
00:19:38.000 --> 00:19:41.640
four legs, a little bit above. I don' t know, by
271
00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:48.480
the way, I suck them very
well, he says and he says ah
272
00:19:48.519 --> 00:19:52.359
yes, let' s say,
because to God it seems fatal and to
273
00:19:52.359 --> 00:19:52.839
you, father, good. It
makes me a little sick, too bad,
274
00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:56.759
but it makes me sick. But
from now on, you' re
275
00:19:56.839 --> 00:19:59.359
taking that off and I' ll
tell you one thing. I respect.
276
00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:02.240
It' s everyone who believes whatever
they want, but like me, once
277
00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:06.960
in my life, because of a
priest I lose a single blowjob I go
278
00:20:07.119 --> 00:20:22.559
with two bears and I blow them
up. You' re good here and
279
00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:23.960
I' m good here, but
no, the daughter says. It'
280
00:20:23.960 --> 00:20:26.920
s not that then, if you
don' t believe in the spiritual,
281
00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:30.720
you fall into believing the miracles of
the material. He' s right.
282
00:20:30.440 --> 00:20:33.279
There are times when we believe in
material in a pathetic way. Last year,
283
00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:37.519
I' ll remember it as the
sad year when we all started wanting
284
00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:45.079
to buy the power ballance bras to
remember the balance bras. Someone' s
285
00:20:45.319 --> 00:20:48.599
still carrying that little push- button
somewhere in his body. There' s
286
00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.440
no wow wow like that psychosis.
You said fucking dude I fell out of
287
00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:53.559
your mind' cause you don'
t have that pretty little brat I'
288
00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:56.880
m wearing. I mean, I
haven' t seen a piece of plastic
289
00:20:56.920 --> 00:21:03.400
more overrated since the flavor condoms.
Or you know, this miserable strategy of
290
00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:04.319
man, which is to invent flavor
condoms, which is like look, you
291
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:08.359
know strawberry in test, which is
like miserable. Well, there' s
292
00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:11.519
something even more miserable that' s
like it doesn' t have protein than
293
00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:15.720
that. There are horrible things,
but then I didn' t really believe
294
00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:19.279
it. But deep down there'
s a subject I' m iriber by
295
00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.960
last name. You know, it' s funny that in the Basque Country
296
00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:26.720
it was where most bracelets were sold
from all over Spain. They sold themselves,
297
00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.920
like, pussy- speaking. The
idea of Spain don' t buy
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it, but pushers have shoved it
up the ass. Well, no,
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but no. Now I' m
eribar that there was some part of me.
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I think I wanted the bra,
Joe said, I like that,
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but of course, the other half
is Andalusian. No, we are descendants
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of Phoenicians, Arabs and Gypsies.
You come to me with a magic pusher
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of god or log, that trick, I know. You know, no,
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don' t fuck with me.
I believe there is also an issue
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of education. You don' t
have to be a little on the lookout
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for what' s going on.
I don' t know how to be
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a bit critical, and I say
that it belongs to a chunga generation that
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has grown up with totally wrong models, like Michael Jackson is worth it,
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or a guy who basically did everything
the other way around. He was getting
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00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:25.960
whiter instead of blacker, he had
more and more dick voice instead of more
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serious, he liked smaller people more
and more instead of bigger. And he
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says the father beat him, look, I' m sorry, but little
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hit him. Okay, I mean, he didn' t say much,
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but he' s glad you'
re praising a joke about child abuse.
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Not really, it' s really
pretty. I believe that this, in
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essence, as a conclusion of a
monologue you will make it clear that,
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basically, we must be careful with
alcoholism, with the Chinese, with the
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French, with insanity, with tetohypnosis, with the press girls, but above
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all with ourselves, with ourselves,
that we are in great danger. Friend,
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Miguel Rivar, thank you very much. See you all the time.








