July 30, 2024

Miguel Iribar - Socialcoholico

Miguel Iribar - Socialcoholico
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Committee Central Podcast. Thank you so
much, buddy. Thank you so much.

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I' m Miguel Iribar You'
ve been delighted to be here.

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The truth is, comedians travel a
lot. One day we can touch such

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a beautiful place, with nice people, looking as healthy as having eaten as

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a child, very good ham and
the next day you can go to a

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village of deep Spain, with people
with only one eyebrow, with primitive expression,

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as of the time when the human
being had no awareness of himself,

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people who look at you badly.
And this makes us a little crazy,

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because it' s like one day
a beautiful playmate comes to your bed that

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says Miguel, I don' t
know what' s going on, but

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you make me horny and the next
day you get a Polish truck driver who

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tells you to come over here.
My little servatillo is hard. The only

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thing that comforts us is that at
least we' re working in bars and

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I get along very well with the
drunks. I love that Spain is an

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alcoholic country, from Spain. No. Spain is a drunk country and it

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' s nice. I mean.
I don' t like it. Not

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bad. Spain is the only country
in the world where you can see a

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super serious guy, super convinced,
telling you no, man, yesterday I

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left until 5: 30 in the
morning. I didn' t feel like

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going out. You know I was
there. Thank you, but I give

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you joy. People say no,
man, we' re not so partying.

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What happens in Spain is wine culture. It' s just saying collateral

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year, humanitarian bombing. There is
no economic crisis, there is negative growth

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and wine culture. No. No, no, I' m a whore.

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I like suspended love. Anyway.
No, no, no, we

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have wine culture. I don'
t have such a bad time as when

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I go to a restaurant and I
have to order wine, because I'

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m a cateto. I don'
t understand wine and the waiter always recognizes

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you for some reason and wants to
fuck you that you get there. The

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guy already sees you from afar saying
look a prick come here, wait for

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you to come there with your nightgown
and it varies. I know it'

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s you He' s a little
shirt guy He' s an outrage at

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those guys you' re going around. Come on, come on You'

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re coming with your girlfriend to impress. Come on, come on, you

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order wine, come on You'
re going? Who' s going to

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order? Who' s going to
taste the wine, uh, the lady

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or the loser, the loser has
touched you come and you' ve and

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you' ve become. If he
doesn' t do that shit to you,

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see what you' re saying,
no. I like not to wait

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like this. One second. I
tend to look at my girlfriend, look

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at her and say, uh,
red you know how best and if she

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hasn' t noticed that you'
re laughing at him, you tell her

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uh. Go back to oaks,
tannins and mistol so fry gallo and bring

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it back to me again. No. The truth is, it' s

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okay, it' s okay.
I do it a lot of restaurants.

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I grew up, well, I
grew up in Triana. Anyway, I

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' ll tell you about the few
restaurants I' ve ever been to.

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But I saw her in Madrid.
I live in Lavapies, a multicultural neighborhood,

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really has a lot of people of
all colors, of all stories,

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it' s fucking cool. There' s the only ones I care about

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are a little bit the Chinese that
I think there' s mogollón that'

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s great, not that you like
him, I mean, there' s

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mogollón everywhere. They' re people
you empathize with, they don' t

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smile at, they' re cool, but they' re people who work

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20 hours straight, don' t
give them time for breakfast. The Spaniards

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had breakfast for twenty hours in a
row, it doesn' t give us

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time to work. Okay we'
re, we' re bad China is

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absorbing everybody' s debt, it' s buying log banks I' m

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probably special, but the day I
go to a Spanish bank and find it

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all full of Chinese taking care of
me I' m fucking, I don

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' t want my money to have
it a rock that has as a pet

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a shitty kitty that does so it' s worth because first I don'

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t trust cats and second, that
cat clearly doesn' t save. He

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' s playing the slots and he
gives you the way he gives you,

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like he' s going down,
so don' t be cool, they

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' re buying. Besides, Spanish
restaurants are catching it too and they already

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do things like that. The day
I went to an Asturian cider shop.

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I see a china scansi like this
from Lascancia Zildai, who was doing well

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on top of it, but you
say trongo, that is, I'

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ve been having nightmares for two days
because he says man, this is going

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to change everything, that is,
I' ve been dreaming about a chinese

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coming to me and saying hello,
uncle I' m going to be monologue

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today. You sell beer at the
door and besides, man, it all

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comes from China to see the phones
come from China. The clothes, the

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shoes, the toys of your children, all the technology, the cars,

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almost everything comes from China. Everything
and we still have the little shame of

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when our children ask Momyo, where
I come from, we tell him from

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Paris, he says how I can
tell him from Paris, how we can

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have that little shame has always freaked
me out in every way we say to

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the children who come from Paris.
Be it me, I imagine Jonathan Jesus

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among Bujena with three years old,
coming out of his Andalusian corral, seeing

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his mother hanging a pair of pink
polka dots. Tell Mom where she came

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from, for your son from Paris
already sees me there a little Frenchy,

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not a little too much unfinished boy. Not very much I must read.

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He won' t give that France
was the reference before. It was cool

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with me. When France was the
fucking reference you saw there I don'

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t know the encyclopedia, the illustration, the vague cloud already cost that it

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was like Happy Rodriguez from the source, but water resist that it was cool,

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that it travels, that you said
fuck how cool it doesn' t

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and it really says that you don' t need to do so much for

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humanity and it says that already with
the French sex it says you have fulfilled.

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You know it' s all right. In addition, the mystery is

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well cultivated. The French have this
scroll of this phrase, not the French

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one. She' s a lady
on the street, but a whore in

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bed. Maybe I don' t
fucking believe it, but I' m

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intrigued. You know he' s
leaving me curious here. Not the only

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thing I don' t forgive the
French is pronunciation. I mean, guys,

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what do you do like your pronunciation? No, no, I'

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m not prepared to assume that pronunciation. I mean, I was going fu

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Fax is written fuck don' t
fuck with a thousand Latin fo and hey

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you say log. There are five
vowels in the alphabet, uh and or

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u use three o, the I
and the e missing two, the U

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and the how you pronounce it was
with two balls. All this I say

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to be cool and show that I
have studies. You know if I'

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m cool, I have studies.
I did a career, I did journalism,

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a very difficult career. Don'
t laugh so much, you bastards.

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I mean, it' s a
race where you have to be competing

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with people who are in an intensive
potato regimen. Frita beer and joints is

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good and you have to be there, that is to say, the journalist

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leads a hard life, that is, you see him when you see street

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people saying there' s a reporter
there' s a yonkeye, but who

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' s who isn' t,
that is, you stay there there'

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s a bunch of truncheons in journalism, a mogollón you see people because they

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directly plant marijuana and already seem to
have married a very possessive woman, who

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has it overwhelmed. And you see
him there with pesticides, with cuttings,

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with lamps, with weather risk,
with microscopes that you say asshole guy with

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this lab, that you have mountain, that I know helps find a cancer

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vaccine, says forgive people with cancer
are my best clients. It' s

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not cool with me either, the
harmless smokers, the cool smokers, not

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this guy thing. I actually studied
smoking uncle and I prove he says the

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least bad thing he studies medicine,
motherfucker, not because he means, then

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man. There are people who are
leaving. These joints are the ones that

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end it like in two, not
making documentaries of the being in Getti,

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that says pasta, of being in
Getti bastard relax. Then there were journalists

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who already passed a little more,
ended up with a little worse, abused

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it with harder drugs and ended up
in intereconomy. Well, a little more

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fucked up. But it' s
okay. No, but mostly in college

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what was there were college girls.
The college girl is a wonder that happens

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to you at that age. It' s a very nice thing. You

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play a little bit of having friends. Well, who says friends. She

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says friend with a right to rub
or rub and with a right friend or

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wine culture or whatever the fuck she
wants, you don' t care,

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but you play, don' t, and suddenly you start to realize the

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limits. It doesn' t say
good. Okay, I see this chick

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who' s a cute little girl
I' m his friend with, but

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you fuck up the day she tells
you. Joye, Miguel, the truth

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is that you' re a solete
and you' re, uh, forgiving

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insults you or I disrespect you at
some point, I mean, if you

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ever get called solete, I keep
in mind that you' re being reduced

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to the lowest of human beings.
Okay, I mean, it' s

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really sad. Do not allow yourselves
to fight for your right. Don'

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t let them ever call you single, because there' s no aunt.

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There won' t be any aunt. Have her call a friend and tell

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Auntie. Yesterday I was fucking like
a bitch with whom with a solete does

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not exist and will not exist.
There are like and there are times that

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you really try to work it out
and it says good I' m going

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to be a friend and you'
re going to eat coffee, that you

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' ve seen it out there in
the movies I know you' re going

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to have coffee and the three teas
sometimes like a little thing, like you

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worry without realizing it, you have
gestures without intention, but that worry us

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like this mania of some of you
to support, like the brews on the

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table, with much naturalness that you
fall as in your hypnosis. You don

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' t get broken your whole life. All you want to do is satisfy

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windy comes out or you' re
fucked. And then there are times when

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you have these little phrases that you
also say as without evil because you women

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have no evil truth. You are
lovely and excellent beings, but sometimes you

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say suddenly jor you know. The
truth is, they always tell me that

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she sucks it very well. I
really don' t know how glad you

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give me this useful information. I
don' t mean, you' re

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stuck being careful. There are many
too many topics, perhaps about relationships.

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There' s no such thing as
a topic bothers me especially that it'

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s this one that says any woman
can hook up with the guy she wants.

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I' d like it to be
clear that this topic is completely true.

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Okay. But it' s not
our fault, I mean, it

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' s not our fault. This
is a serious evolutionary problem, because when

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an aunt, if an aunt grabs
the package, she lowers your t-

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shirt with the intention of making a
case for you an infinite affellation, that

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leaves your eyes blank. You can' t stop her. You can'

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t say no. But it'
s not because you like them. No,

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it' s not because you want
to, not because you want to,

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because it' s good, because
you want to. It' s

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not just because, after millions of
years of evolution, nature hasn' t

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thought of an answer for that It' s okay, so it' s

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not thought of, that is,
it' s stalled. There' s

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a limit point, like when kittens
get caught by the neck you make.

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That' s how you know there' s nothing to reproach. I mean,

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that' s right. But I' ve said a term that may

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have offended people if you' re
perhaps too much of a Catholic or a

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Republican American. He said of evolution, eh pardon or intended. Thank you

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00:13:07.200 --> 00:13:11.960
you know these creationists are many times
people, with studies that have made cattle

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even more difficult than journalism, and
that and that tells you it is not

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totally impossible, that it is man
come from the monkey by evolution, says

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man. The truth is, looking
at you and listening to you, it

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really doesn' t make sense to
talk about evolution. No, but not

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well. Now there' s a
theme. Now with religion. It'

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s not getting any less fashionable.
I think that above all Christianity may be

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having a little low hours. Things
like Buddhism are getting fashionable. I believe

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that there is an obvious reason,
that is, a crucified Christ cannot compete

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with a Buddha in an ibiza chalet
as a decorative object. It' s

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much cooler, that is, you' re placed in an ibiza chalet,

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full of goboz house music You see
a Christ crucified there and he says snoring

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what happened to you. You look
like a big or big gold Buddha,

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she says pussy. Carlos Jin you
know how there' s roll. I

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don' t know, it'
s funny. I am very shocked at

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00:14:16.799 --> 00:14:18.360
religion, because there are, like
many religions, everyone believes that it is

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their religion. His religion is absolutely
true. I think there' s a

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problem, which is that, of
course God had like the mania to introduce

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himself a lot of years ago to
people like in a cave, in a

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00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:31.039
mountain. Sometimes they didn' t
know how to read that it' s

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like coming under a bridge, telling
your shit here to someone who knows what

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00:14:35.120 --> 00:14:37.919
and then a medic arrives and tells
you how the message got confused. Okay,

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there' s too much, but
it' s okay. I really,

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if there is God, right,
I think I should go out today

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on television, in preintime pussy comes
out in Telecinco short for a little while,

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the save me is worth to put
a can to Jorge Javier Vázquez tells

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me come rod there, eh that
explodes all the silicone of the set causing

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the chaos is good and no bush, burning ah what more to bel In

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Esteban it is worth that people see
it. Of course say Miracle Bethlehem Stephen

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has quieted down, you know so
that they know and you already count.

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Whatever you want, I don'
t care. I don' t care

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00:15:24.720 --> 00:15:26.440
what you want, that' s
cool and you take off a little bit.

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This widespread confusion, which is the
bath as scratched. No. No,

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it' s all in the Bible, it' s all in the

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Bible. It' s all in
the Bible. Liste people say Uncle,

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to see the Bible log that is
they always tell you in contracts be careful

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00:15:39.759 --> 00:15:45.039
because they put it folded with the
small print. The Bible is 3,

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00:15:45.360 --> 00:15:56.200
000 pages of small print. Okay, it' s a scratch and people

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just as they don' t read
it clearly, good people, they don

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' t have the paper worth the
Bible by the balls. He' s

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cleared because God is so good.
God I don' t know how much,

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00:16:00.440 --> 00:16:02.759
Uncle, and I' ve read
myself a little bit of that little

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print. God has very chungy,
very chungy parts. And it' s

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not only violent, but sometimes it' s freaky, that is, there

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' s a passage. I swear
it' s true. It' s

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a little freaky, but I swear
it' s true. You can look

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for him. Second Book of Kings, chapter two verses, twenty- three

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00:16:18.120 --> 00:16:21.519
and twenty- four speak of the
prophet Elisha. Who the fuck is Elisha,

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00:16:21.799 --> 00:16:25.759
I don' t know. They
talk about Elisha and he says the

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passage and going up Elisha through the
mountain, some kids who went after him

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mocked him. They called him bald, go bald, go up I swear

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he said that is right and Elisha
saw them and cursed them in the name

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of Jehovah. And the LORD sent
two bears who tore forty- two of

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those boys apart, you say," Shut up for calling a fucking prophet

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00:17:06.480 --> 00:17:11.359
bald" You send two bears to
tear apart forty- two young trunks who

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are uncles, man, roll up, put the pop- guy Elisha'

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s mane from the singer of Urope
and say for you you know. I

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don' t know. The church
has a little point sometimes a little short

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run. He fucked up three hundred
years ago in a forest, some ladies

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of the village were going to make
their coven of good vibe, to peel

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00:17:37.240 --> 00:17:40.920
off, to get a little high
with some honguitos that we have all done

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00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:44.359
once and nothing happens and to dance
around a bonfire and reach a fellow priest

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and burn them. What he says
Let' s see, man, I

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mean, you' re a guy, what to say if a man goes

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out into the country and finds some
chicks in highballs dancing and the first thing

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00:18:03.039 --> 00:18:08.319
you can think of, the best
thing is to burn them the same way

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you don' t like chicks,
you don' t mean maybe you prefer

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smaller people. I don' t
know what' s gonna happen to you.

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00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:22.039
That doesn' t happen anymore.
That doesn' t happen anymore,

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00:18:25.920 --> 00:18:26.759
but fuck all of a sudden you
say joaige with sex. There' s

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like a problem. It makes me
very nervous that priests talk to me about

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sex. I mean meat. I
like that the butcher speaks to me,

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00:18:34.240 --> 00:18:37.000
it' s good of buildings,
the architect to fuck, so talk to

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me. I don' t know
Nacho Vidal, my cousin speaking to me

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from the village, who knows a
lot. I don' t know people,

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competent people, because I see the
priests of the village. Dude,

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these guys are kind of fat with
their noses red and red and so and

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so and I say jo, this
kid' s grown up like any kid

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in a good- natured olive calahorra, throwing stones at him with lizards,

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playing his little things that one day
he starts to find out no and you

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say fuck. I think God is
talking to me and I' m going

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00:19:06.079 --> 00:19:07.960
to start telling everyone what' s
sin and not that I think it'

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00:19:07.960 --> 00:19:10.720
s cool. Everyone hears as if
you think you' re a goat I

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00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:15.559
get hairy, I think it'
s cool, but I' ve become

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00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:22.440
a Catholic bride that can happen.
And all of a sudden, that guy

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is confessing and she seems to tell
him father how it is, well,

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well, here' s good,
because I ate good things that tell me

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00:19:29.599 --> 00:19:30.799
a little bit, what you do
with you, with your husband. You

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00:19:30.880 --> 00:19:33.880
say good, so normal. I
don' t know a bit about posture.

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The missionary will know more or less
what is a little bit of so

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four legs, a little bit above. I don' t know, by

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00:19:41.680 --> 00:19:48.480
the way, I suck them very
well, he says and he says ah

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yes, let' s say,
because to God it seems fatal and to

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you, father, good. It
makes me a little sick, too bad,

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00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:56.759
but it makes me sick. But
from now on, you' re

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00:19:56.839 --> 00:19:59.359
taking that off and I' ll
tell you one thing. I respect.

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00:19:59.400 --> 00:20:02.240
It' s everyone who believes whatever
they want, but like me, once

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00:20:02.240 --> 00:20:06.960
in my life, because of a
priest I lose a single blowjob I go

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00:20:07.119 --> 00:20:22.559
with two bears and I blow them
up. You' re good here and

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00:20:22.680 --> 00:20:23.960
I' m good here, but
no, the daughter says. It'

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s not that then, if you
don' t believe in the spiritual,

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00:20:27.400 --> 00:20:30.720
you fall into believing the miracles of
the material. He' s right.

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There are times when we believe in
material in a pathetic way. Last year,

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00:20:33.519 --> 00:20:37.519
I' ll remember it as the
sad year when we all started wanting

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00:20:37.519 --> 00:20:45.079
to buy the power ballance bras to
remember the balance bras. Someone' s

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00:20:45.319 --> 00:20:48.599
still carrying that little push- button
somewhere in his body. There' s

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00:20:48.680 --> 00:20:52.440
no wow wow like that psychosis.
You said fucking dude I fell out of

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00:20:52.480 --> 00:20:53.559
your mind' cause you don'
t have that pretty little brat I'

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00:20:53.559 --> 00:20:56.880
m wearing. I mean, I
haven' t seen a piece of plastic

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00:20:56.920 --> 00:21:03.400
more overrated since the flavor condoms.
Or you know, this miserable strategy of

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00:21:03.400 --> 00:21:04.319
man, which is to invent flavor
condoms, which is like look, you

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00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:08.359
know strawberry in test, which is
like miserable. Well, there' s

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00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:11.519
something even more miserable that' s
like it doesn' t have protein than

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00:21:11.519 --> 00:21:15.720
that. There are horrible things,
but then I didn' t really believe

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00:21:15.720 --> 00:21:19.279
it. But deep down there'
s a subject I' m iriber by

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00:21:19.279 --> 00:21:22.960
last name. You know, it' s funny that in the Basque Country

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00:21:22.079 --> 00:21:26.720
it was where most bracelets were sold
from all over Spain. They sold themselves,

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00:21:26.799 --> 00:21:29.920
like, pussy- speaking. The
idea of Spain don' t buy

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00:21:29.920 --> 00:21:30.799
it, but pushers have shoved it
up the ass. Well, no,

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00:21:30.960 --> 00:21:41.359
but no. Now I' m
eribar that there was some part of me.

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00:21:41.359 --> 00:21:44.759
I think I wanted the bra,
Joe said, I like that,

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00:21:44.799 --> 00:21:48.400
but of course, the other half
is Andalusian. No, we are descendants

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00:21:48.440 --> 00:21:56.839
of Phoenicians, Arabs and Gypsies.
You come to me with a magic pusher

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00:21:56.920 --> 00:21:59.279
of god or log, that trick, I know. You know, no,

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00:21:59.359 --> 00:22:02.720
don' t fuck with me.
I believe there is also an issue

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00:22:02.759 --> 00:22:06.599
of education. You don' t
have to be a little on the lookout

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00:22:06.599 --> 00:22:08.720
for what' s going on.
I don' t know how to be

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00:22:08.799 --> 00:22:14.200
a bit critical, and I say
that it belongs to a chunga generation that

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00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:19.160
has grown up with totally wrong models, like Michael Jackson is worth it,

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00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:22.640
or a guy who basically did everything
the other way around. He was getting

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00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:25.960
whiter instead of blacker, he had
more and more dick voice instead of more

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00:22:26.039 --> 00:22:30.000
serious, he liked smaller people more
and more instead of bigger. And he

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00:22:30.160 --> 00:22:33.160
says the father beat him, look, I' m sorry, but little

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00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:45.000
hit him. Okay, I mean, he didn' t say much,

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00:22:45.279 --> 00:22:47.000
but he' s glad you'
re praising a joke about child abuse.

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00:22:47.640 --> 00:22:49.759
Not really, it' s really
pretty. I believe that this, in

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00:22:49.839 --> 00:22:53.400
essence, as a conclusion of a
monologue you will make it clear that,

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00:22:55.799 --> 00:22:57.720
basically, we must be careful with
alcoholism, with the Chinese, with the

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00:22:57.759 --> 00:23:03.680
French, with insanity, with tetohypnosis, with the press girls, but above

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00:23:03.680 --> 00:23:07.920
all with ourselves, with ourselves,
that we are in great danger. Friend,

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00:23:08.160 --> 00:23:15.359
Miguel Rivar, thank you very much. See you all the time.