Juan Amodeo - Standup comedy

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Comedy Central Podcast. Thank you very
much, well, thank you all.

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Thank you very much. I'
m really glad to be here, but

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I' m gonna introduce myself a
little bit. My name is Juan Amodeo.

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I know I don' t notice
much, but just in case I

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say it, I' m Andaluz
I had to say it because I got

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a message from Andalusia and we'
re a little tired. We' re

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sick and tired of the clichés you
have with us You know, we'

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re sick and tired of horses.
He' s taking her on horseback,

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not there I didn' t go
out these holidays. So, my mother

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applauds me for buleria. No,
no, that doesn' t happen.

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That' s not what I'
m telling you. Like Andaluz, we

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are also obliged to be funny,
because whenever you go outside Andalusia is typical

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of not listening to you speak and
say hello Hostia. You' re Andaluz,

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you' re Andalou for a cool, huh, for a cool?

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You' re andalo say something funny. He tells a joke that says,

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" There are people who are andalusia, who are really stupid, don'

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t think everyone there is funny"
There are no stupid people, really authentic

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and there' s a lot of
example you can look for. We'

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re not all funny. If it' s true that I have an added

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pressure, because of course, as
an Andalusian, I have to be funny.

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But besides, I' m a
humorist. So, that already puts

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a pressure on you and you have
to be ready to tell jokes all the

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time. I mean, it'
s like all the time. And if

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you don' t tell jokes all
the time, people get offended and say

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uncle this is a lie. No. This I asked for for alienxpres in

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one way and it has arrived in
another way. It' s not Andalusian

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what happened. I' m not
here anymore. Thank you this andalou has

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arrived defective. But if I tell
you it' s a problem, because

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many times it creates conflict. No, for example, the other day I

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' m in a bar. This
is real. I' m in a

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bar and I' m having a
beer with a friend and so and there

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comes a kid who liked my videos
men in fashion you' re from videos

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no and men yes, my model, I can take a picture of you

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and say man, of course,
I take the picture. Not his distance

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and everything doesn' t. Maybe
he' s in Bosnia and I'

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m not here and we take the
pictures. Both very well. Thank you

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very much. And now comes the
demand that I' m mooring. Tell

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me uncle I can ask you a
favor, tell me, you, you

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can tell me a joke that is
not now, no, it' s

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not the way, no, no, please, Modeo is the time.

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No, I really don' t
Let' s tell each other a joke

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and come here Modeo' s gonna
tell a joke I' m really not.

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I' m here with my friends
and I' m gonna fuck off

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this guy who doesn' t joke
and he' s going away mad.

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You, imagine, we' re
going to be polarlo to another profession.

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You, imagine this person is a
fan of Nacho Vidal and Nacho Vidal is

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found man. Nacho how about,
Nacho, sung, sung, Nacho,

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can take a picture of you with
me. Yeah, right, Nacho,

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there' s great, Nacho,
Nacho, all right, well, Nacho,

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Nacho, sorry, Nacho, you, Nacho, you, you,

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Nacho, Nacho, Nacho, you, you can me? Nacho, you

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can give me a dick here to
a boy. It' s not clear

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if he asks me to laugh,
nacho and you' re going to ask

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him. But, well, it' s not just the Andalusians who suffer

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from clichés. It suffers from topicality
throughout Spain, all over the world.

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No. In the end, for
example, you want Andalusian, yes,

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tell me a joke, that you
are from Madrid, yes, well,

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give me tap water, no,
because uh, not that you are from

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Andorra, yes, give it like
and subscribe. Please love a bosing.

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I don' t know things,
not things, things from Andorra. Not

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a bossing. Here' s a
game, a video game that I see,

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I don' t know things.
But, well, I think this

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whole topic thing is communication issues.
I mean, in the end we have

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so many social networks, we actually
think we know everyone. And it'

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s not true that social networks have
taken a lot of things away from us,

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like linking well now as it is
linked on social networks, on Instagram,

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hello pretty without h and with w
i mean Before it was a nicer

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thing. Not before. No,
or, for example, giving like to

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an old photo to say here I
am. Hey, let me see that

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I' ve seen all your instagram. It used to be much better.

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You used to see the brave people, really, those people who called the

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landline of the person they liked.
And it' s really people if they

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don' t know what a landline
is, be happy, because all we

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know, what it is are people
at risk. I' m telling you

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right now, uh, we'
re getting older, uh, you remember

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what I mean, that phone call
didn' t start when it was called

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that call started the day before.
Hey, I' ll call you tomorrow

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at 8: 30. You'
re gonna take it, yeah, sure,

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no, yeah, please, don' t fuck your father, no,

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no, no, no, I
swear to you at half past eight.

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The next day I was calling your
hairstyle pi and everything, uh,

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pee for God' s sake,
I didn' t fuck the father,

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for God' s sake, Pi, Pi who' s hello, very

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good. We called him from Abon
how about uh you didn' t have

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another one. If you remember what
Bon is, take care of that cough

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and watch your eye there, which
is also true that we always mess with

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social media. Truth It is not
that social networks, but that they have

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lied to us all their lives in
movies, have lied to us forever,

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forever, for example, showering in
pairs in movies as it is. That

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' s wonderful You' ve showered
as a couple before You' ve seen

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the loss of dignity that you have, that is, in the film as

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that person is, it' s
not going to make a heterosexual couple,

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not that man breast or giant.
Not the guy takes off his T-

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shirt, not and closet, a
four- door potter with a stick and

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everything not the guy and tells him
we go to the shower honey and they

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both go to the shower all very
nice. They enter that bathroom that fits

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your floor, in the bathroom that
they have there and is there, in

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the bathroom all wonderful, a plate
of giant showers. Enter he takes off

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his shirt, all full of abs
or a hair, short toenails. True,

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there are people who are finding out
and whose toenails. Is it cut?

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Is it cut? It' s
her, isn' t it,

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her? Perfectly takes off the Minnesota
timewors shirt, not you. The best

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thing about your entire Bride' s
T- shirt would be that of Betti

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' s spon, not the Minnesota
Tumbleword, not that lady. And now

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take her. He' s taking
off his cigarette. The cigarette goes down

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perfectly, gives more than unbuttoning.
The button' s down, the cigarette

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' s looking. I know people
who have had to bury with the cigarette,

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uh, when you take off the
cigarette gets to the ankle level,

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you get to step on the toss, that' s what. But that

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' s not the end of it. R takes the take my colleague not

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without domineering t- shirts. He
takes off his underpants, no, and

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you can see there' s security
white underpants. He' s sure when

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that goes down there there' s
no bike braking I understand there, no,

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no, no, that' s
perfect, everything, perfect, everything

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doesn' t get off perfect and
now they' re both in the shower.

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Not her, too, it'
s going to show that a movie

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is already going suit- and-
gown that you say. That' s

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movie. That' s also a
dream in your dough in your house,

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pussy, is that it' s
very rare not everything and now loosed of

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panties game that you say. Of
course, I want you to know about

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this award panties that you' ll
say gas. If there are types of

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panties, uh premium panties not what
you buy yourself, not what you say.

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You' re so new not kind
of that already the one who uses

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your peace sport to sleep that it' s already a little bit of a

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do. Then there' s the
till and the panties three, since the

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last step, which is the rule
Braga, which is that many guys don

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' t know or we applaud.
Don' t let' s not do

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this better than half ch. We' re not going to stay there,

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uh, the Braga, the rules
are the ones that were in Braga Premium,

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which are the panties of today'
s game at home. Then she

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must have walked a little bit of
herself and Braga. Third, it'

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s obviously the Braga, which he
doesn' t use at all says po

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for the rule. The case I' m going to gives you a stain

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on the way forward. What it
means is that the two of them get

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into the shower Everything is perfesing this
wonderful. They start kissing the waterfall water.

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You both like water or cold heat. There' s no fight there,

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uh, and it doesn' t
happen to anyone who opens up in

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the shower who drops the water from
here who doesn' t expect it is

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cold his dead. That doesn'
t happen. The movie doesn' t

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happen. And then you' ve
seen yourself shower as a couple. If

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you' ve been so lucky,
let' s take a shower first.

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No, not the two of you
by the shower, I don' t

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give it a to. If you
don' t touch my hair today,

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I see my hair yesterday. It' s just that the movie' s

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always been plastered two days before to
get it to her hair. No,

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or I' m in fourth year. First thing takes your shirt off.

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You look down all full of hair. The only mark that you have a

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red mark. Here and here from
what comes, being the belly, not

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the Michelines. It' s like
this, it' s all full of

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red wa or it doesn' t
lift you up and now it' s

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looking at you. You start taking
off your white cardon, too, because

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he' s played you. You
try to hide it a little bit because

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of course you try to put it, because there is code qr ay there,

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there you scan mobile and it comes
out sample of total things that you

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hide it under the mats of the
feet keeps it, there you don'

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t put the carpet of the feet
and now you see she takes off her

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shirt, doesn' t take off
her dicks badly because it costs like I

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told you, no and now you
both go. Shower shower plate. It

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' s very small, very small. She likes cold water, you like

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hot water there Now you can'
t give br sonia, because the aguaca

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fits all wrong. I mean,
it' s already clear in the movie

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You' ve seen it That looks
like the sun circus making love. You

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go there, I go here,
you go there and you, uncomfortable already

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turning around, not clear. Besides, you look at you and you see

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that it is full of hair and
hair with the glass of the screen that

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makes jae suit you every time it
turns to you sounds and then you look

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at yourself, thank you, but
it looks at the feet that you have

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said in the other one, not
in the movie. You have seen perfectly

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those feet and on your feet that
there are long nails and, above all

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and more important, the hairs that
come out between the nail and what is

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base foot, okay, foot,
base, nail. Here' s a

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hole that looks like God said these
hairs are left over from my ass.

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We' re going around here.
I mean, that' s what and

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good. And I' m going
to tell you one thing and pray,

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pray for a shower plate, because
what a fabric the loss of your dignity

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when you take off your underwear and
whatever the tub you have the eggs hanging.

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That' s disgusting and I'
ll tell you one thing. The

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coss leaves hanging. It' s
me who has the car parked two petillas.

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Thank you very much, bye or
s or we are chas. Thank

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you. S. S. S.