June 13, 2024
Jorge Yorya - Standup comedy
WEBVTT
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Comedy Central Podcastja. Thank you very
much, friends. I' ll try
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00:00:17.559 --> 00:00:21.359
not to talk too much about dicks. He' s coming back for a
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00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:23.640
moment of a lot of twitching.
We' re seeing a moment of a
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00:00:23.719 --> 00:00:26.320
lot of expation, if there'
s not a lot of crypticness in which
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00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:32.799
people are very crummy and very clumsy
last year, some bad- borns murdered
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00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:38.479
George Floyd. We remembered the world
stopped you to honor them and a well
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00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:44.759
- known human rights organization called Operation
Triumph. He didn' t want to
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00:00:44.759 --> 00:00:52.079
be less. They performed with several
artists and at the end they all knelt
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00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:58.840
down as a tribute. What a
nice man if he hadn' t died.
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00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:06.280
So I mean the tribute to Coby
Brian is not a compilation of helicopter
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00:01:06.280 --> 00:01:11.000
accidents. You know who would want
to see that hope Aguirre? Hope,
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aguirre? I' d like to
see that wasn' t a rhetorical question.
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I' d say I' d
save myself from him. We'
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00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:18.719
re too cruddy, folks, there' s very childish people. Any day
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a Spaniard kills one of his brothers, but let' s not talk about
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00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:33.879
how the bourbons were playing. Let' s not talk about this. These
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00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.319
are difficult times to have faith.
I have many questions about Catholicism, which
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00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:40.959
is the faith in which I grew
up where Joseph was when Jesus was recorded
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00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:44.079
on the Cross. If the Pope
is Argentine, why there are no empanadas
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00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:48.159
in the Vatican. Why the church
doesn' t have tiktok. The police
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00:01:48.359 --> 00:01:51.200
have tiktok. You know what opening
up the priests before for having kids dancing
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00:01:51.280 --> 00:02:00.359
for free. But the question what
else I ask myself is how Catholicism has
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00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:07.960
done so that in a while it
is apart The horoscope eats her toast like
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00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.800
this you have noticed how long ago
I have told you that a well-
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00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:17.800
known non- friend tells us great
uncle. I' ve heard of Jesus,
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00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:23.479
you fucking man. It' s
like aquamans and the obsession with the
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00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:30.199
very mystical weights and the horoscope enters
Instagram looks at a story and this is
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00:02:30.199 --> 00:02:35.840
so sad that Cójones, when this
has happened two thousand twenty- one,
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the year in which people are more
atheists than anyone tell of my destiny.
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But a jaimenis doesn' t fail
me that you already know sombrero. What
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the fuck. I don' t
understand anything, because I' m not
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the greatest advocate of Catholicism, but
fuck about the flyer. The club that
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wins is that of Catholicism, what
Catholicism offers you, offers you the sky,
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say them a fucking place, that
is, it' s nice.
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It' s an endless party and
drink refiel. The sky is like what
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00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:04.479
outo sas believe is andorra is worth
and is in all the people you want
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00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.439
at its best moment, at its
best, that this is very important.
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00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:10.639
Okay, so it' s heaven. It' s a party of former
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00:03:10.919 --> 00:03:15.960
students, without balds or divorced,
or people who in two thousand thirteen said
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00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:19.199
in bitcoichs no, but Nerva Lipe, I think I' m going to
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make money, that is, and
what the horoscope friend Capricorn offers you,
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offers you the astral letter. I' ve already looked into it for you.
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00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:30.000
The extra letter you know what the
instagram pio of your soul is.
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00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:37.159
The Astral Card is a precise X- ray. What tells you how you
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00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:38.400
' re also an X- ray. You know how I' ve seen
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00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:40.840
the doctor coming, sir, who' s there in his well- dressed
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robe, who looks good, who
smells good presence, and who puts your
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folio there in a light and you
see this point here and this point you
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see this gap between the two.
This is your meniscus. That' s
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why your knee hurts. You know, because this works exactly the same.
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It' s just that a man
fights, he' s a combatant,
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there' s a subtle one that
makes a lot of difference, that smells
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00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:05.439
like five days ago, that doesn' t smell good and that responds to
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names like admon Ah no Belzebedo,
which is actually called Juan Carlos, the
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poor man. And it says you
see here, it puts your folio and
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you say you see here birgoin flames
and cancer making the pine bridge. You
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see this line that I painted with
a pencil before you came, because you
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' re an asshole. No doubt, you' re assholes. According to
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this, you' re such an
asshole. And in case there was any
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doubt about the sessions it is fifty
euros. People are so squeaky. You
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haven' t heard from a news
story recently that they' re going to
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release a series of Ana Boleyn.
You make him the lady who saw royalty
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a long time ago and she'
s going to be played by a black
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actress and people have become very angry. People get so angry. Chrispan people
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these things. You know when this
happens very often in reality that suddenly there
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is a series or a movie,
a book that there was a character with
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specific characteristics and they do it again
and suddenly it makes him very angry.
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He is always very angry that he
interprets it to a black or worse God,
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do not love a woman. Have
you seen him, yes or no?
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Have you seen him or not?
That you say you don' t
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understand that that' s insulted the
character' s characteristics and that we'
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re fans of him. That it
is true that we are five years from
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that the biography of Martin lighter Kin
interprets him Jacki Chan is true there is
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Hadley, sorry, sorry, that
is insulting the character. That' s
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fake. Well, in Namibia,
a country in Africa, Adolf Hitler,
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a black man, has won the
elections. You can look for him.
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It' s totally real news.
That is, Adolf Hitler is not the
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side of the original Hiller Zombie,
who has gone to Africa as a footballer
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who leaves the Chinese League, because
it is the easiest. The election has
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not been won by a black man
named Adolf Hiller, who had to ask
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him when the winner you are interested
in world domination because they were fucked up.
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But also, I mean, if
I had a friend to name the
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card rar them when we do pixo
in the kitchen, he sure I get
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it. But this is not how
beautiful you see. What is this is
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not how precious it is. This
means, on the one hand, there
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is no greater punishment for the original
dorf Hiller than seeing the reboot of his
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own series from hell played by a
black. The only way to piss him
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off more is that he fought evil
by being black panter, using the tora
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the only way. On the other
hand, friend Capricorn, if the name
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Adolf Hiller has managed to redeem himself
that you can' t get you who
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can' t get anyone who won' t see who knows. Maybe in
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a few years we' ll discover
the Ortega Cano autoschool, maybe we'
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ll see the José Breton nursery,
maybe they' ll change the name to
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Google Maps for Madeley. I don' t know, I' m not
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saying it' s a good idea
or that' s okay with me,
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but maybe we' ll see it
good. You want us to tell a
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nice story before we go I like
beautiful stories and or not. Thank you
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very much. I am not going
to talk about the pandemic, but there
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is one thing that we will all
agree on, which is that that June
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of two thousand and twenty has been
remembered as the crack of twenty- nine
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of love. Suddenly everyone could go
to the streets and all the people who
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were up to their partner' s
dick put an end to it that day.
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I hate you after the street You
don' t put me on the
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day of years You brother- in- law and your friends. I'
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ve got to take what' s
already done. Everyone left it that day.
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Everyone here has a lot of breakups. That' s good, because
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my best friend left him that day, my best friend that josé day with
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a guy that I introduced to them
besides that gave me a hard time.
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Well, not much. She'
s my best friend, the one who
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was a lot. I didn'
t like him, but a guy you
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know these people who are like very
pretty. He was a very handsome,
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handsome guy at Plan Holwood. You
see these people who are very beautiful,
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but then they are very poor for
the handsome, who are a truth that
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they have Hollywood face, wallet,
caravan, shella, star face, MichelÃn
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Pocket menu and see who because these
people exist, because it is thanks,
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because that will be chosen big the
first stretch of the irpf Friends, because
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I introduced them to a party.
You know those moments when you present two
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people that you know both of them
and you see how they look at each
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other, and you say, oh, my God. I know what both
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00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:31.959
people want and I know what they' re like and you see how the
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00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:37.240
spark comes out is how they'
re falling in love live and you say,
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oh my God, these two are
going to be smashed. They can
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00:08:41.080 --> 00:08:45.639
' t be more incompatible. You
can hear them screaming in a gynos.
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I mean, this is Germany telling
Poland in the thirty- nine baby here
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on the roll. This is gonna
be a shame. I introduced you to
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the confinement, you' re charging
your relationship. You know when you leave
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00:08:58.399 --> 00:09:00.840
it with someone. There are things
that are well lost back and there are
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00:09:00.840 --> 00:09:01.879
things that are not right to ask
back. Right. It' s not
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00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:05.559
the same thing to say, Nena, that college sweatshirt, I wasn'
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00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:07.960
t with you. When tra di
reminds me of times I bet. It
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00:09:07.960 --> 00:09:11.879
' s not the same thing to
say that the bentolen. Please, asthma
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00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:15.879
hasn' t left him with anyone. It' s not the same.
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00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.399
Okay, so what you' re
going on about is asking for presents back.
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00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:22.720
Right, if there' s a
gift and you give it back,
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00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:24.399
it' s a little bit of
crap. I mean, listen, you
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00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:26.240
' ve inhabited my heart for a
while, but you think you' re
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00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:30.200
gonna get bail back. This mattress
wasn' t here and when we started
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00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:33.720
being a homemade bastard. Well,
here' s the gentleman asking for a
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00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:37.320
present back. You know he'
s asking him back. He' ll
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00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:43.440
satisfy you. Suddenly, the ventolin
seems to us for so much, for
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00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:46.720
he asked for the satisfaction back and
gave it to him. Guys and gave
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00:09:46.840 --> 00:09:50.080
it to him. We didn'
t understand shit. We didn' t
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00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:52.240
know what to do. We said
we bought him another satisfaction but that'
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00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:52.399
s very personal, not a few
speeds. It' s a rhythm.
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00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:54.960
I' m sure we' d
finish it with the present. If I
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00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:56.679
at home sometimes put a program in
Dishwasher that does not cause it, I
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00:09:56.679 --> 00:10:00.799
always get angry, so what we
said or what the roads lead to Rome,
148
00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:07.000
because we give it a account for
ja Premium. You' re familiar
149
00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:11.519
with port Haupp. I don'
t know about you, but for Jupp
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00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:16.039
I' m already getting enough to
peel it off, that' s you
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00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:20.200
good for me for a normal Haup
already has the whole package, so I
152
00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:24.080
have a question. What pornhap Premium
offers you takes away. The ads are
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00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:26.840
also porn, or you haven'
t ever been peeling it and suddenly José
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00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:41.320
Ãlvaro uses the bull to invest in
the financial markets, so we were good
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00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:46.000
friends and gave him an Adolf Hitler
a black dick. That big. Thank
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00:10:46.080 --> 00:11:05.120
you very much. S I'
m going to s ta u o s s new
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:17.480
Comedy Central Podcastja. Thank you very
much, friends. I' ll try
2
00:00:17.559 --> 00:00:21.359
not to talk too much about dicks. He' s coming back for a
3
00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:23.640
moment of a lot of twitching.
We' re seeing a moment of a
4
00:00:23.719 --> 00:00:26.320
lot of expation, if there'
s not a lot of crypticness in which
5
00:00:26.399 --> 00:00:32.799
people are very crummy and very clumsy
last year, some bad- borns murdered
6
00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:38.479
George Floyd. We remembered the world
stopped you to honor them and a well
7
00:00:38.719 --> 00:00:44.759
- known human rights organization called Operation
Triumph. He didn' t want to
8
00:00:44.759 --> 00:00:52.079
be less. They performed with several
artists and at the end they all knelt
9
00:00:52.119 --> 00:00:58.840
down as a tribute. What a
nice man if he hadn' t died.
10
00:00:58.880 --> 00:01:06.280
So I mean the tribute to Coby
Brian is not a compilation of helicopter
11
00:01:06.280 --> 00:01:11.000
accidents. You know who would want
to see that hope Aguirre? Hope,
12
00:01:11.000 --> 00:01:11.840
aguirre? I' d like to
see that wasn' t a rhetorical question.
13
00:01:11.959 --> 00:01:15.680
I' d say I' d
save myself from him. We'
14
00:01:15.760 --> 00:01:18.719
re too cruddy, folks, there' s very childish people. Any day
15
00:01:18.799 --> 00:01:22.680
a Spaniard kills one of his brothers, but let' s not talk about
16
00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:33.879
how the bourbons were playing. Let' s not talk about this. These
17
00:01:33.920 --> 00:01:37.319
are difficult times to have faith.
I have many questions about Catholicism, which
18
00:01:37.359 --> 00:01:40.959
is the faith in which I grew
up where Joseph was when Jesus was recorded
19
00:01:41.040 --> 00:01:44.079
on the Cross. If the Pope
is Argentine, why there are no empanadas
20
00:01:44.079 --> 00:01:48.159
in the Vatican. Why the church
doesn' t have tiktok. The police
21
00:01:48.359 --> 00:01:51.200
have tiktok. You know what opening
up the priests before for having kids dancing
22
00:01:51.280 --> 00:02:00.359
for free. But the question what
else I ask myself is how Catholicism has
23
00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:07.960
done so that in a while it
is apart The horoscope eats her toast like
24
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.800
this you have noticed how long ago
I have told you that a well-
25
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:17.800
known non- friend tells us great
uncle. I' ve heard of Jesus,
26
00:02:20.319 --> 00:02:23.479
you fucking man. It' s
like aquamans and the obsession with the
27
00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:30.199
very mystical weights and the horoscope enters
Instagram looks at a story and this is
28
00:02:30.199 --> 00:02:35.840
so sad that Cójones, when this
has happened two thousand twenty- one,
29
00:02:35.960 --> 00:02:38.400
the year in which people are more
atheists than anyone tell of my destiny.
30
00:02:38.439 --> 00:02:40.719
But a jaimenis doesn' t fail
me that you already know sombrero. What
31
00:02:40.800 --> 00:02:46.680
the fuck. I don' t
understand anything, because I' m not
32
00:02:46.719 --> 00:02:49.800
the greatest advocate of Catholicism, but
fuck about the flyer. The club that
33
00:02:49.879 --> 00:02:53.120
wins is that of Catholicism, what
Catholicism offers you, offers you the sky,
34
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:55.919
say them a fucking place, that
is, it' s nice.
35
00:02:57.240 --> 00:02:59.719
It' s an endless party and
drink refiel. The sky is like what
36
00:02:59.759 --> 00:03:04.479
outo sas believe is andorra is worth
and is in all the people you want
37
00:03:05.360 --> 00:03:07.439
at its best moment, at its
best, that this is very important.
38
00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:10.639
Okay, so it' s heaven. It' s a party of former
39
00:03:10.919 --> 00:03:15.960
students, without balds or divorced,
or people who in two thousand thirteen said
40
00:03:15.960 --> 00:03:19.199
in bitcoichs no, but Nerva Lipe, I think I' m going to
41
00:03:19.199 --> 00:03:24.280
make money, that is, and
what the horoscope friend Capricorn offers you,
42
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:27.840
offers you the astral letter. I' ve already looked into it for you.
43
00:03:27.879 --> 00:03:30.000
The extra letter you know what the
instagram pio of your soul is.
44
00:03:31.159 --> 00:03:37.159
The Astral Card is a precise X- ray. What tells you how you
45
00:03:37.280 --> 00:03:38.400
' re also an X- ray. You know how I' ve seen
46
00:03:38.479 --> 00:03:40.840
the doctor coming, sir, who' s there in his well- dressed
47
00:03:40.919 --> 00:03:44.280
robe, who looks good, who
smells good presence, and who puts your
48
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folio there in a light and you
see this point here and this point you
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see this gap between the two.
This is your meniscus. That' s
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why your knee hurts. You know, because this works exactly the same.
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It' s just that a man
fights, he' s a combatant,
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there' s a subtle one that
makes a lot of difference, that smells
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like five days ago, that doesn' t smell good and that responds to
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names like admon Ah no Belzebedo,
which is actually called Juan Carlos, the
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poor man. And it says you
see here, it puts your folio and
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you say you see here birgoin flames
and cancer making the pine bridge. You
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see this line that I painted with
a pencil before you came, because you
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' re an asshole. No doubt, you' re assholes. According to
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this, you' re such an
asshole. And in case there was any
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doubt about the sessions it is fifty
euros. People are so squeaky. You
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haven' t heard from a news
story recently that they' re going to
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release a series of Ana Boleyn.
You make him the lady who saw royalty
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a long time ago and she'
s going to be played by a black
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actress and people have become very angry. People get so angry. Chrispan people
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these things. You know when this
happens very often in reality that suddenly there
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is a series or a movie,
a book that there was a character with
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specific characteristics and they do it again
and suddenly it makes him very angry.
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He is always very angry that he
interprets it to a black or worse God,
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do not love a woman. Have
you seen him, yes or no?
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Have you seen him or not?
That you say you don' t
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understand that that' s insulted the
character' s characteristics and that we'
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re fans of him. That it
is true that we are five years from
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that the biography of Martin lighter Kin
interprets him Jacki Chan is true there is
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Hadley, sorry, sorry, that
is insulting the character. That' s
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fake. Well, in Namibia,
a country in Africa, Adolf Hitler,
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a black man, has won the
elections. You can look for him.
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It' s totally real news.
That is, Adolf Hitler is not the
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side of the original Hiller Zombie,
who has gone to Africa as a footballer
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who leaves the Chinese League, because
it is the easiest. The election has
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not been won by a black man
named Adolf Hiller, who had to ask
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him when the winner you are interested
in world domination because they were fucked up.
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But also, I mean, if
I had a friend to name the
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card rar them when we do pixo
in the kitchen, he sure I get
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it. But this is not how
beautiful you see. What is this is
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not how precious it is. This
means, on the one hand, there
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is no greater punishment for the original
dorf Hiller than seeing the reboot of his
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own series from hell played by a
black. The only way to piss him
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off more is that he fought evil
by being black panter, using the tora
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the only way. On the other
hand, friend Capricorn, if the name
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Adolf Hiller has managed to redeem himself
that you can' t get you who
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can' t get anyone who won' t see who knows. Maybe in
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a few years we' ll discover
the Ortega Cano autoschool, maybe we'
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ll see the José Breton nursery,
maybe they' ll change the name to
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Google Maps for Madeley. I don' t know, I' m not
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saying it' s a good idea
or that' s okay with me,
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but maybe we' ll see it
good. You want us to tell a
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nice story before we go I like
beautiful stories and or not. Thank you
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very much. I am not going
to talk about the pandemic, but there
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is one thing that we will all
agree on, which is that that June
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of two thousand and twenty has been
remembered as the crack of twenty- nine
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of love. Suddenly everyone could go
to the streets and all the people who
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were up to their partner' s
dick put an end to it that day.
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I hate you after the street You
don' t put me on the
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day of years You brother- in- law and your friends. I'
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ve got to take what' s
already done. Everyone left it that day.
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Everyone here has a lot of breakups. That' s good, because
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my best friend left him that day, my best friend that josé day with
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a guy that I introduced to them
besides that gave me a hard time.
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Well, not much. She'
s my best friend, the one who
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was a lot. I didn'
t like him, but a guy you
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know these people who are like very
pretty. He was a very handsome,
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handsome guy at Plan Holwood. You
see these people who are very beautiful,
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but then they are very poor for
the handsome, who are a truth that
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they have Hollywood face, wallet,
caravan, shella, star face, MichelÃn
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00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:13.920
Pocket menu and see who because these
people exist, because it is thanks,
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because that will be chosen big the
first stretch of the irpf Friends, because
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I introduced them to a party.
You know those moments when you present two
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00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:26.879
people that you know both of them
and you see how they look at each
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00:08:26.920 --> 00:08:28.040
other, and you say, oh, my God. I know what both
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00:08:28.120 --> 00:08:31.959
people want and I know what they' re like and you see how the
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00:08:31.919 --> 00:08:37.240
spark comes out is how they'
re falling in love live and you say,
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00:08:37.559 --> 00:08:41.039
oh my God, these two are
going to be smashed. They can
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' t be more incompatible. You
can hear them screaming in a gynos.
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I mean, this is Germany telling
Poland in the thirty- nine baby here
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on the roll. This is gonna
be a shame. I introduced you to
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the confinement, you' re charging
your relationship. You know when you leave
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00:08:58.399 --> 00:09:00.840
it with someone. There are things
that are well lost back and there are
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00:09:00.840 --> 00:09:01.879
things that are not right to ask
back. Right. It' s not
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00:09:01.879 --> 00:09:05.559
the same thing to say, Nena, that college sweatshirt, I wasn'
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00:09:05.559 --> 00:09:07.960
t with you. When tra di
reminds me of times I bet. It
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00:09:07.960 --> 00:09:11.879
' s not the same thing to
say that the bentolen. Please, asthma
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00:09:13.000 --> 00:09:15.879
hasn' t left him with anyone. It' s not the same.
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00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.399
Okay, so what you' re
going on about is asking for presents back.
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00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:22.720
Right, if there' s a
gift and you give it back,
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00:09:22.960 --> 00:09:24.399
it' s a little bit of
crap. I mean, listen, you
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00:09:24.440 --> 00:09:26.240
' ve inhabited my heart for a
while, but you think you' re
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00:09:26.240 --> 00:09:30.200
gonna get bail back. This mattress
wasn' t here and when we started
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00:09:30.200 --> 00:09:33.720
being a homemade bastard. Well,
here' s the gentleman asking for a
139
00:09:33.759 --> 00:09:37.320
present back. You know he'
s asking him back. He' ll
140
00:09:37.320 --> 00:09:43.440
satisfy you. Suddenly, the ventolin
seems to us for so much, for
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00:09:43.519 --> 00:09:46.720
he asked for the satisfaction back and
gave it to him. Guys and gave
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00:09:46.840 --> 00:09:50.080
it to him. We didn'
t understand shit. We didn' t
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00:09:50.080 --> 00:09:52.240
know what to do. We said
we bought him another satisfaction but that'
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00:09:52.240 --> 00:09:52.399
s very personal, not a few
speeds. It' s a rhythm.
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00:09:52.399 --> 00:09:54.960
I' m sure we' d
finish it with the present. If I
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00:09:54.960 --> 00:09:56.679
at home sometimes put a program in
Dishwasher that does not cause it, I
147
00:09:56.679 --> 00:10:00.799
always get angry, so what we
said or what the roads lead to Rome,
148
00:10:00.840 --> 00:10:07.000
because we give it a account for
ja Premium. You' re familiar
149
00:10:07.080 --> 00:10:11.519
with port Haupp. I don'
t know about you, but for Jupp
150
00:10:11.559 --> 00:10:16.039
I' m already getting enough to
peel it off, that' s you
151
00:10:16.120 --> 00:10:20.200
good for me for a normal Haup
already has the whole package, so I
152
00:10:20.200 --> 00:10:24.080
have a question. What pornhap Premium
offers you takes away. The ads are
153
00:10:24.159 --> 00:10:26.840
also porn, or you haven'
t ever been peeling it and suddenly José
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00:10:26.960 --> 00:10:41.320
Ãlvaro uses the bull to invest in
the financial markets, so we were good
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00:10:41.399 --> 00:10:46.000
friends and gave him an Adolf Hitler
a black dick. That big. Thank
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00:10:46.080 --> 00:11:05.120
you very much. S I'
m going to s ta u o s s new
