July 2, 2024

Ignasi Taltavul - Stadup comedy

Ignasi Taltavul - Stadup comedy
Apple Podcasts podcast player badge
Spotify podcast player badge
Castro podcast player badge
RSS Feed podcast player badge
Apple Podcasts podcast player iconSpotify podcast player iconCastro podcast player iconRSS Feed podcast player icon
WEBVTT

1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:18.839
Comedy Central Podcast very good. Let' s see. You' ve ever

2
00:00:18.879 --> 00:00:21.960
dated someone and after you cut him
off, it' s been a while.

3
00:00:22.359 --> 00:00:26.760
You' ve thought about how long
I spent on that one' s

4
00:00:26.760 --> 00:00:29.199
normal. You' ve had that
feeling at all. Speak to the people

5
00:00:29.199 --> 00:00:34.880
who have had that feeling. Please, because someone thinks the same about you

6
00:00:36.119 --> 00:00:41.560
We are all the subnormal of someone, all some is a normal of several

7
00:00:41.640 --> 00:00:46.079
relaxed we have seen you calm.
Okay. I' m back in Tinder.

8
00:00:47.320 --> 00:00:53.679
That was Tinder' s reaction,
exactly that one. Maybe not Tinder.

9
00:00:53.679 --> 00:00:56.880
I don' t know if anyone
is in Tinder, but I hate

10
00:00:57.159 --> 00:01:00.240
Tinder or I have to look fun
all the time, have to look interesting

11
00:01:00.320 --> 00:01:06.040
and I feel like a phony,
but why I am, because in Tinder

12
00:01:06.079 --> 00:01:11.000
I am the tourism ad of Aragon. I' ve taken four pictures that

13
00:01:11.599 --> 00:01:14.120
look cool but don' t go
on holiday in Calatayud. You don'

14
00:01:14.560 --> 00:01:15.079
t want to, you don'
t want to be there. No.

15
00:01:15.680 --> 00:01:19.799
Besides, I think in the end, flirting is that not flirting is hiding

16
00:01:19.840 --> 00:01:26.280
the negative part that you know perfectly
well that you have is hiding your scheduled

17
00:01:26.280 --> 00:01:29.040
obsolescence. No. I already know
that from three weeks I' ve started

18
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:32.319
to depend too much on you,
but you' ll know, when it

19
00:01:32.400 --> 00:01:36.120
' s too late. Don'
t want to spoiler. It' s

20
00:01:36.120 --> 00:01:38.079
not three weeks. Wait all the
way, it' s not worth anything.

21
00:01:38.879 --> 00:01:44.400
Besides, I' m gay,
so I have added problems whenever I

22
00:01:44.560 --> 00:01:48.359
' m with another guy on a
date. I notice the pressure from that

23
00:01:48.439 --> 00:01:53.120
guy who' s been looking at
me like I haven' t been discriminated

24
00:01:53.239 --> 00:01:59.159
against all my life to end up
with someone like you. I think I

25
00:01:59.200 --> 00:02:02.560
' m gonna wait. I don' t think this is up to my

26
00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:07.400
suffering. Okay, you got two
podcasts. You can' t be looking

27
00:02:07.400 --> 00:02:08.639
at your head. I' ll
wait in a while. Besides, there

28
00:02:08.719 --> 00:02:12.879
' s homophobia in the little things. Besides, there' s hemophobia It

29
00:02:12.919 --> 00:02:15.479
happens to me that when I'
m on a date with another guy at

30
00:02:15.520 --> 00:02:20.840
the bar, the rosy peddler never
offers us roses. Why I mean it.

31
00:02:20.919 --> 00:02:23.080
I don' t have all the
right in the world to say no

32
00:02:23.159 --> 00:02:27.599
without looking him in the eye,
because why is that right taken away from

33
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:32.280
me. I don' t understand
that it' s a rare claim,

34
00:02:32.639 --> 00:02:37.439
not that I want to be a
classist, too. I' m nothing

35
00:02:37.439 --> 00:02:38.520
classy. In fact, I hate
people who believe themselves above the situation.

36
00:02:39.159 --> 00:02:44.800
You know those people who, for
example, say the hospital food is really

37
00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:49.000
bad is how these people saved your
life. What else do you need from

38
00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:52.719
them? What else do you need? Liver surgery went very well. He

39
00:02:52.719 --> 00:02:55.199
took my tumor, but the soup
was a little dull. I didn'

40
00:02:55.240 --> 00:03:01.120
t like this to fuck up what
demands. I think, anyway, I

41
00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:04.960
think it' s a good time
to be gay at stand up, in

42
00:03:05.319 --> 00:03:08.120
life, in my life, but
at stand um I think it' s

43
00:03:08.159 --> 00:03:13.360
a good time. I' d
like nothing less than to be a white

44
00:03:13.800 --> 00:03:16.599
cis man, hetorre sex doing stand
up. A lot of pressure right now,

45
00:03:17.039 --> 00:03:22.960
a lot of pressure. From here
I' m ally you straight guys.

46
00:03:23.080 --> 00:03:25.680
I' m here for what you
need. I know they' re

47
00:03:25.759 --> 00:03:30.639
being tough times. If you want
to cry on my shoulder I am,

48
00:03:30.919 --> 00:03:32.360
if you want to even do the
spoon, why not? Why I'

49
00:03:32.439 --> 00:03:37.400
m not here. I think it' s an opportunity for you and maybe

50
00:03:37.400 --> 00:03:39.840
say, I' m a curious
straight man. You know these people who

51
00:03:40.199 --> 00:03:44.919
say no I' m curious straight, not in a desperate attempt to escape

52
00:03:45.000 --> 00:03:46.639
the focus of privilege. Not to
see if feminists don' t see me

53
00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:51.840
behind the curious letter, to see
no curious hetero and curious tero, not

54
00:03:51.919 --> 00:03:53.800
your reviews don' t go with
me. I don' t know.

55
00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:58.879
There' s people, there'
s guys who to empathize with me say

56
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:02.319
hey, I' m straight,
but I think I know how to recognize

57
00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:06.039
the beauty in a man is how
I see Brad Pitt and you say he

58
00:04:06.159 --> 00:04:08.719
' s good, careful, brave, uh, I mean in voice missing

59
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:10.800
is controversial. That, uh,
presents the proclamation, which presents the dragon.

60
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:18.839
Yes, sir, finally, revolutionary
voices. A day for you to

61
00:04:18.839 --> 00:04:23.600
get an idea. Where day was
on a comedy show and a comedian in

62
00:04:24.000 --> 00:04:27.680
intimacy came up and told me,
man, I wish I was gay to

63
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:32.480
differentiate myself like what the fuck are
you saying? You take fountains, man,

64
00:04:32.680 --> 00:04:41.439
what are you saying, what the
fuck are you saying? I'

65
00:04:41.519 --> 00:04:45.040
m an atheist I don' t
believe in God. In fact, I

66
00:04:45.360 --> 00:04:47.639
prefer that God does not exist.
If you' re going to choose me,

67
00:04:47.800 --> 00:04:50.680
I prefer that it doesn' t
exist because I' ve been living

68
00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:56.399
like I won' t have to
pass that exam now better if I die

69
00:04:56.480 --> 00:04:58.120
and God is there with my videos
in the prides of Madrid. No.

70
00:04:58.199 --> 00:05:00.879
No, no, no, no. You guys. I' ve got

71
00:05:00.920 --> 00:05:03.360
a good résumé to get into the
sky. I don' t have to

72
00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:08.120
think what kind of place heaven is, it has to be crazy. That

73
00:05:08.160 --> 00:05:12.000
' s because there are people there
who died yesterday and Neanderthals at the same

74
00:05:12.000 --> 00:05:15.759
time. I don' t want
to be somewhere. I don' t

75
00:05:15.800 --> 00:05:21.519
have to teach you how to bust
Aristotle. I wouldn' t be cool

76
00:05:21.560 --> 00:05:26.879
about the point of being above historical
figures, about being around, like da

77
00:05:26.879 --> 00:05:30.839
Vinci, that you would be very
good at what you did. But you

78
00:05:30.839 --> 00:05:35.040
haven' t seen The Crown,
you haven' t seen Ground Michelangelo Asshole,

79
00:05:35.879 --> 00:05:38.959
not my Angel gel. A lot
of chapella assists, but at FIFA

80
00:05:39.040 --> 00:05:43.079
you don' t beat me.
You' ll see. Also, if

81
00:05:43.160 --> 00:05:46.920
you think about it, heaven is
a place full of racist and macho people

82
00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:50.360
and homophoba, because until recently it
is gold the usual. And I don

83
00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:56.000
' t think God is Woke and
he' s put his batteries through the

84
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:00.000
rules of heaven, because lately he' s looking at a lot of examples

85
00:06:00.000 --> 00:06:03.120
and it' s like jeremies.
Yes, about the slaves of 200 years

86
00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:10.879
ago that I laughed at their time, even now they already black live mateur

87
00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:15.879
jeremías and you go to hell.
No, I' m sorry, I

88
00:06:15.879 --> 00:06:17.680
' m sorry, but I am. I don' t think it was

89
00:06:17.759 --> 00:06:23.000
like that, I don' t
think it would happen to us, but

90
00:06:23.040 --> 00:06:28.560
within two hundred years we would be
in heaven there so calm and suddenly it

91
00:06:28.560 --> 00:06:30.240
would be because it goes by PA
to heaven. There' s one to

92
00:06:30.279 --> 00:06:34.079
inform everyone. No, don'
t mind the people you ate animals,

93
00:06:34.399 --> 00:06:40.000
you couldn' t all to hell
and two like that uh, uh,

94
00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:43.480
no, no one told us this. We didn' t suspect anything of

95
00:06:43.519 --> 00:06:47.519
the Karnica industry at any time.
Not the vegetarians until later, yeah,

96
00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:51.399
the discussions at Christmas you remember,
uh, the vegans a couple of years

97
00:06:51.439 --> 00:06:55.439
and we' re alone. Don' t worry about them celebrating. It

98
00:06:55.480 --> 00:07:01.199
' s okay. I don'
t know it has to be full of

99
00:07:01.319 --> 00:07:03.560
homophobes and machistas and racists. The
sky has to be full of taxi drivers.

100
00:07:03.680 --> 00:07:09.920
I' m convinced not taxi drivers, not taxi drivers. Please,

101
00:07:10.279 --> 00:07:15.519
there are taxi drivers. One out
of every hundred zero that' s right

102
00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:16.519
- handed. He' s made
a wish. It' s very complicated

103
00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:19.399
that it happens to you and that
sometimes it bothers you. It doesn'

104
00:07:19.720 --> 00:07:24.360
t make you like that conversation where
you try, because you agree with it

105
00:07:24.399 --> 00:07:28.360
and it' s an awkward journey. Not then have I discovered how to

106
00:07:28.519 --> 00:07:30.600
survive that journey that is by playing
him, by playing him. Even I

107
00:07:30.600 --> 00:07:34.399
sometimes try to push him to the
right. You know Uncle says like immigrants.

108
00:07:35.560 --> 00:07:40.399
I wouldn' t have killed them
all, you know the guy'

109
00:07:40.800 --> 00:07:44.519
s driving thinking like a fucking facha, this pers gets off at once.

110
00:07:45.399 --> 00:07:46.800
You wanted to play this game.
Let' s see who wins. Let

111
00:07:46.839 --> 00:07:51.199
' s see what this game has
won. Let' s see you'

112
00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:57.120
re gonna see Sometimes it' s
a bitch because the guy follows my game

113
00:07:57.199 --> 00:07:59.480
and we don' t radicalize each
other. I' m bringing chaos to

114
00:07:59.480 --> 00:08:01.600
the cab union Okay. It'
s not gonna have any good consequences.

115
00:08:01.759 --> 00:08:07.759
That' s all I want to
tell you is that if you ever see

116
00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:11.560
me in an army parade singing my
face in the sun, it' s

117
00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:13.560
because I' ve made a very
long taxing ride. It' s just.

118
00:08:13.600 --> 00:08:18.800
That' s why. Just for
that. But look at the facha

119
00:08:18.399 --> 00:08:22.360
taxi drivers who drive the best do
take you to the places. You know

120
00:08:22.439 --> 00:08:28.560
shortcuts. I know how to separate
the work from the taxi driver. When

121
00:08:28.680 --> 00:08:33.200
in the debate of itself you can
separate the work of the artist, you

122
00:08:33.279 --> 00:08:37.000
believe that yes or that you do
not answer to that of three all at

123
00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:39.000
once without reflection one at three,
that is to say quite yes. Uh,

124
00:08:39.600 --> 00:08:43.399
I' m also having doubts about
the truth, but what I'

125
00:08:43.480 --> 00:08:46.279
m clear about is that I'
m sick and tired of the debate always

126
00:08:46.279 --> 00:08:50.440
being with art. Why isn'
t it in other professions. For example,

127
00:08:50.919 --> 00:08:56.000
if we now find out what Fleming
masturbated by looking at pictures of children,

128
00:08:56.480 --> 00:09:00.679
we have to stop using penicillin.
We can power, we' re

129
00:09:00.679 --> 00:09:03.960
going to make that effort as a
society, to separate Fleming from the movie

130
00:09:03.960 --> 00:09:07.159
or it' s like no.
No. We' re not going back

131
00:09:07.200 --> 00:09:09.240
two hundred years in medicine because not
those kids. I don' t die

132
00:09:09.320 --> 00:09:13.559
of diarrhea because I don' t. We can' t make that effort

133
00:09:13.600 --> 00:09:16.799
or say otherwise, it hasn'
t been won. Fleming, after saving

134
00:09:16.879 --> 00:09:20.639
millions and millions of people, screwing
a child from time to time I don

135
00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:28.440
' t know, it won'
t make any sense. I ask Fleming,

136
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:31.679
plant Plat, I did it so
I haven' t earned it anymore

137
00:09:31.720 --> 00:09:35.960
at least one. Give me if
you' re in favor of Fleming,

138
00:09:35.399 --> 00:09:37.919
Shouting, Fleming, if you'
re in favor of the children Shouting,

139
00:09:39.799 --> 00:09:43.360
children on three, one, two, three, a lot of pederast has

140
00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:50.799
come today. No. Thank you
all very much. Thank you very much,

141
00:09:50.879 --> 00:10:00.200
thank you very much. S s