April 16, 2024

Fernando Moraño- Fernandertal

Fernando Moraño- Fernandertal
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Comedy Central Podcast. Okay, thank
you. First of all, thank you

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all who are here tonight for your
presence and those who have not been able

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to come to thank you for your
absence, because you have to be grateful

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in this fucking world. Not how
you are moderately. I don' t

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dare make assessments about my state of
mind. I' m waiting for standard

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press make the report. You know
standard am purs in Spanish standard and purs

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is mediocre and poor. It is
as if the People' s Party,

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in a great exercise of sincerity,
were to be called the Papist and then

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not, or the Socialist Party,
for example, you are to be called

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the Party, which is parties without
ethical objectives. It wouldn' t be

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more or less similar. Not good. Seeing what my start has been,

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we' re going to take off
our masks. Friends. I am Fernando

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Moreño and I belong to the fifteen
meters of this new radical terrorist movement.

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I' m sorry, but not
on pressure. We have been linked to

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Alcaeda, the far right Spanish and
Neta. We are what is said,

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a great example of living together in
earnest. Not really. I was at

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home the other day cooking and I
heard on the radio the fifteen meters the

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puppies of ETA and I said I
was freaked out at that moment call my

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mother, because you know that mothers
as soon as there is a problem,

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there they are already. Besides,
it says what you do, son,

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and nothing, Mom that I'
m a terrorist. Says and pays well,

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I good raw, but well what
time we' re going to do

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no, and says well, son, mine And it can be what you

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' ve done to call you magazine, because you haven' t lentils,

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mom and you don' t make
lentils anymore that you' re all day

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sliding the favor, but it'
s awesome. No, but, well,

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it must be said that 15 meters
is full. It' s full.

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It is full of dangerous groups,
such as teachers, students, doctors,

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people very harmful to society, not
who are usually repressed by riot control.

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Eh I don' t know if
you know that the budget in riot

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control has multiplied only one thousand seven
hundred eighty percent, because, as we

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are in a time of austerity,
we don' t want to pass either.

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And yes, because let' s
really say they' re investing in

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a new education system because teachers open
minds, but riot control opens heads directly.

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Thought goes faster in the new fiber
optics. You know what it looks

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like. Yes, they are investing
in a new system of education, which

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is the one that says that the
letter with blood comes from all life.

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But it seems that all the jobs
promised by the People' s Party are

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going to be bad luck. Not
in that sense, because we have been

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luckier. We know that these collectives
are generally used to maintain public order.

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But since public order has been privatized
and they no longer know what they are

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defending, they are giving the right
and sinister shit and they don' t

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know anything about it. And it
makes me angry that they beat teachers to

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doctors, students, people related to
conscience, to humanity, to knowledge and,

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for example, to the coast that
is crying out for a host and

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that no one remembers it. You
know, it tastes bad, it tastes

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bad. Thank you, thank you. In any case, I mean good.

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I belong to the fifteenth, because
I am a rebel. I'

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m a rebel. I am a
rebel because the world has done this to

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me, not because no one has
treated me with love and because it gets

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out of my mind, no,
among many other things. I didn'

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t imagine if I heard rebel I
was born dead, uh, and look

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at me now what' s tampa, uh, I' m about to

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move in. Not really. I' ve overcome fivesides, the last one

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with pimple and twenty- five crustipates
that don' t kill, but bother.

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Hey, things are the way they
are and you' re gonna say

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pussy with everything that' s happened
to him, he hasn' t dropped

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his hair or anything. He'
s got great hair why. Because I

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' m a strong constitution, not
like this country. Hey, the Constitution

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is like my cousin, she doesn' t respect anyone. Thank you.

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They' ll still fucking tell you. If this guy hasn' t died

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with everything that' s happened,
he' s agreed with the devil pussy.

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The socialists or the populars don'
t agree and nothing happens. The

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other day I was reading the press
because I' m a snop. I

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will not deny it and in the
contact section I see Socialist Party. Look

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for voters. It doesn' t
matter ideology. We haven' t had

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one in a while. But,
yes, I am Satan' s son.

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I am Satan' s son,
but not because I love the person.

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I' m a charming being who
can take me wherever you want to

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see I' m a very nice
guy. The thing is, I'

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ve had bad luck. Not that
I have infinite evil within me. I

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' ve had bad luck why.
Because my mother is called Luz and my

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father Fernando and I, because I
am the son of Luz Ifer, but

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it has been bad luck. Don' t condemn me so quickly. Besides,

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I don' t believe in hell. I don' t think there

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' s any hell after this no
improvement. I don' t believe it.

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I don' t believe in paradise, as Luis Bárcenas would say.

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You know, Luis Bárcena you'
ve known in the People' s Party

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as Luis the bastard I give him. Luis, I don' t get

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it, not really, but,
well, thank you. Then there is

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the Muslim paradise or the people of
the Cuscus clan who say that in paradise

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you expect forty- seven virgins for
your marine dick you know forty- seven

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virgins. I say what a fucking
paradise you know you' re making it

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up, curate it forty- seven
sexually experienced women. That' s what

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I' m buying from you Between
you coming and not coming, they'

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re riding between them. That'
s cool. Yes, sir, it

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' s true. It' s
true, we don' t really find

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ourselves in this situation. I don' t believe in anything. I don

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' t believe in the existence of
anything. I don' t think anything

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exists. There is no God,
no God exists. Let' s see

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they say that God created the world
in seven days and the last day off

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go fucking faggot. I have turned
the seven days of the week into rest

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Who lives like God? Now,
uh, I ask, I ask,

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uh, seriously. Besides, if
God were Spanish, he would have created

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the world at the last minute and
bad he would have told him and this

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shit calatravajaaaa. And the arranged calatrava
wing is the same man who designed Holy

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Week. Because that' s very
unpleasant. I' m so sorry,

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guys with caps, others whipping each
other, and then we satanics are the

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ones who do a relaxing Santa week, people enjoy you, people look good,

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not pussy, which is that people
who have faith have to carry some

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saints who weigh 70, 000 tons. Man make some span saints because those

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people will have faith, but they
will have a back. You don'

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t know I say I' m
true some light saints that you can bring

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us in and out of the Church
several times, do procession races fucking Santadeo

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against San Nicanor with overtakings. You
know you see there' s excitement,

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they' re looking for the show. Not Easter football teams. For example,

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Real Madrid would be the official team
for Easter. They play Ramos Cristiano

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Dimoria Casillas, who is a martyr
and Florentino Pérez, who is a superior

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and good and pepe being that is
determinative. No, I wouldn' t

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miss anyone there, it wouldn'
t be okay. No, but there

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are those who look like changes in
the Church. The Church has to adapt

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to society. This new pope seems
to be changing it. Everything is very

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revolutionary. Well, maybe he'
s branding a rooster and then it'

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s all lies. But, well, looks like the guy' s got

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good intentions. Thank you. Not
really. You know the old Pope abandoned

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us, the German pastor left us. I said something about not being true.

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Now we have an Argentine Pope,
the first Argentine to claim to be

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only the Pope. No, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This

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has never been seen before. I
really would have preferred the black pope.

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I was very of the black pope. I would have liked a black pope,

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Dominican, Puerto Rican, Cuban,
a daddy not seriously, someone who

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goes out and tells people like Jesucrista, told the people of Judea, the

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people of Judea, dog, dog
and background I like gasoline or Jesus Christ

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move hips, if you are the
king of Christians with panties. Well,

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this fantasy. I' ve already
gotten carried away. Excuse me, uh,

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excuse me In any case, a
good- looking dad. That'

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s good. Not those preachers who
go to the subway. I don'

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t know if you' ve seen
them first thing in the morning and they

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start the messiah will come down from
the sky to sow the apocalypse. You

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' ll die, preachers, one
day I approached one and you tell him

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shut up that it' s me
how to end up with a madman being

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crazier than him. You know that
works. No, but I didn'

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t come here to talk to you
about the difference between good and evil,

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because I am all adults and you
know that the difference between good and evil

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is wider with a good lawyer involved, that is to say tell Kams.

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He can explain it perfectly. Not
in that sense. No, but come

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on. I didn' t come
here to make that kind of explanation.

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I am not the son of God, I am not the son of Satan.

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I' m the crisis, I' m Cris and Chris for friends

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you thought you were going to sell
flats all your life and sons of Puta.

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You didn' t take into account
the power of Chris and I had

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to get everyone scared with how good
I was at home. But, well,

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you have to pay the mortgage,
you have to make a living.

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It' s very wrong, uh, my mother, there' s the

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depleted uranium, almost uranium mania,
yeah, really, uh that' s

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like a name of village uranium seriously. Before, they used to tell you

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a little nuclear power. It was
going well as if I were talking to

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you, I was taking you out
of the coffee. You know, but

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now, after Fukushima, no one
believes in nuclear power. Imagine that the

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next Gotzila movie is going to come
out rebuilding Japan as to where it was

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freaking out. No. It'
s a bad thing. Markets don'

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t believe in us. The other
day I went down to my fruit maker

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and told him why you didn'
t do it. This true and good

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did not answer me, but I
took a couple of beautiful onions that doesn

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' t take it away from you. Nobody. It' s a bad

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thing. It' s a very
bad thing, but don' t worry

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because in Europe, in Europe,
they' re going to rescue us.

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Europe used to bring big intellectuals like
discards and now brings others like cuts.

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Eh, yes Europe, the old
continent now known as Karrefur. They have

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decided, thank you, that the
solution to our problems is cuts. I

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have to cut my pussy, change
their handcraft, passionately paint and coloring a

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more cheerful thing. And we have
to cut back on education that' s

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gotten out of hand. And this
is the country overeducated. No, seriously,

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it' s an excess, this
is a gaffapasta logy. You know,

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no, no, really. You
don' t know. You don

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' t know how serious that is. And you put tea of five And

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it' s all about scholarship and
knowledge. Had the ninis fight like hear

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it' s called the bantista,
who' s a spiritist. Hey,

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no, fuck me. We cannot
afford all this from now on in schools.

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We' re not going to teach
kids how to write with commas points

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accents parenthesis, because that' s
a printing money you' re throwing at

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00:14:00.000 --> 00:14:01.919
the end of the year. It' s a money you throw away because

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then they end up in whatsappc come
see, come eh ben and conjugating in

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moticonos that that' s the dicks, eh what a man and that people

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00:14:11.600 --> 00:14:15.639
before were of numbers or letters,
but these generations of signs, that'

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00:14:15.639 --> 00:14:20.399
s very rare. Not then,
if our children have to grow up to

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be idiots, our children grow up
to be idiots. But the square budget,

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that' s the important thing,
to square the budget, uh that

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' s and by the way,
another whim that you' ve taken the

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working class to live, that can' t be this health thing, that

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you' re all in a health
that gives you cover. From now on

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are we going to make cuts in
sanitation on October 12th? It will only

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open on the 12th of October.
Yeah, I' m sorry. If

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you go to someone else' s
hospital, then you cure a frog'

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00:15:05.120 --> 00:15:07.480
s ass. If it doesn'
t heal today, we' ll see,

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we' ll see. Eh and
of course, if you have to

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die, you die. And if
you have to die, you die.

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But the square budget, that'
s what' s important. Cuadrate the

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budget. And you have to balance
the budget, because you have to compete

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and you have to produce. Prauthir
and competition compete and produce. It sounds

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00:15:31.879 --> 00:15:41.960
like a fucking song from here in
Africa, sung by Hitler EP Competition and

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00:15:41.120 --> 00:15:46.919
you produce And you have to compete
with chilos. How the fuck do you

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compete with a Chinese man a machine
programmed to smoke, spit and work?

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00:15:52.639 --> 00:15:56.440
How do you compete with a chaino
if a cheo retires walking into the light.

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00:15:56.919 --> 00:16:11.120
How you compete with a non-
che, how we' re going

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00:16:11.200 --> 00:16:17.799
to compete with the Chinese, with
the child unemployment in this country, children

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00:16:17.960 --> 00:16:22.240
who don' t work, and
the Chinese over the years are already sewing

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00:16:22.240 --> 00:16:26.679
balls. For us. We can' t afford children either if children have

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00:16:26.799 --> 00:16:33.600
to work. The children work,
but the square budget very well. How

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00:16:33.679 --> 00:16:42.360
quickly you understood, uh, because
this is trying to explain crack and nobody

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understands it. I' ve got
half a frightful legislature left over. I

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can' t allow the children,
but neither can the elderly and the retired.

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I don' t know if there
are people here who are going to

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retire from this game or pretend to. I' m so sorry. Our

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elders are a luxury we cannot afford. I' m sorry, I'

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m sorry, we' re gonna
have to talk to these people. It

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' s just that I have a
lot of experience showing work. Hey what

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' s that about charging and not
working like that, you can' t

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compete. Spanish retired, please leave
the world in an orderly fashion. I

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' m sorry, I' m
sorry, we' re gonna get the

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windows off the Segovia bridge and get
them going. Hey, hey, hey,

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hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

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hey, hey, hey. Nice, don' t let them see suffering,

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eh that they do. Like the
synchronized notation to the crazy little mermaid,

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hey, yeah, yeah, and
if there' s one alive,

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let' s ask for it with
the petanque. You know, but budget

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moves great friends. Anyway. Another
of the great novelties of the neoliberal era

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is the liberal labor forgiveness reform I
am always wrong. A liberal labor pardon

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reform must be made in order to
make the labour market more flexible The labour

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market must be made more flexible to
a point where unfair dismissal of a worker

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will be considered a tribute to the
worker, and so the worker will compensate

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his boss for the other whim you
have taken, so that an employee can

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be dismissed and hired several times a
day according to productivity and economic results,

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creating new methods of revolutionary layoffs,
such as comparative dismissal. You get to

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work, you get fired, and
at the exit you get hired in half

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and you go home that doesn'
t know very well what happened. It

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' s a feeling, a mez
co lance not that you liked, uh,

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you got a fired face that you
shit ca. You know that young

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people are firing meat. EH.
In any case, enough with the regrets,

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enough with the complaints. I have
the solution I could only have it.

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I' m clear. We have
to make a Spanish revolution. But

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the revolution will be sexual, or
it will be hispanish sexual revolution. Yes,

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gentlemen, we cannot compete with the
Chinese because they are professional slaves.

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We can' t compete with the
Germans because they' re real sons of

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the Great Whore. Then we have
to compete with Dominicans, who are poorer,

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but fuck more. Until when we' re gonna let my citizens go

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to bed every night without fucking.
The movement is shown by fucking, friends,

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because a well- fucked Spaniard goes
better everywhere in his fucking life.

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That' s why I' m
going to found the first political party worried

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that you' re left- wing
or right- wing, you' re

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working or you' re getting fucked
well. Partido Popular bla Partido Popular nor

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a Spaniard without fucking a commitment of
everyone. I don' t want women,

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I don' t want husbands,
I don' t want lovers,

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I want militants. People who fail
for Spain, fuckers, natos who sleep

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with people more and more unpleasant than
them. These people will receive money from

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the state for personal damage and will
be considered the hero of the homeland.

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What a fucking Popular Party, not
a Spaniard without fucking everyone' s engagement.

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In the People' s Party we
are going to call general elections.

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Yes, sir We' re here. We are fully in favour of global

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warming. A Partido Popular, not
a Spaniard without fucking a commitment of everything.

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I' m worried about young people
seriously, these people who won'

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t be able to access decent housing
and they' re going to have to

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make love in a shithole or in
a room next to their parents for you

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I' m going to build follódromos. Yes, Mr Big, what buildings

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where you can fuck in the company
of all your fucking Facebook. Yes,

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friends, Popular Party, not a
Spaniard without fucking a commitment of all,

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because to fuck us between four,
let' s fuck each other man.

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Yes, Mr Popular Party, not
a Spaniard without fucking everyone' s engagement.

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You will be my excitation minister,
yes, and you will be my

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minister of making it Popular Party or
a Spaniard without fucking a commitment from everyone.

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I' m gonna fuck you all. You want to fuck me.

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That' s how I like it. Friends, there are some who believe

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that the solution to this crisis is
to give everyone a pick and a shovel

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and come and bite. I say
pussy and what miners protest. And besides,

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if we all get itchy, we' re gonna get the world to

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dismy in the middle of the universe
like an effervescent aspirin. It' s

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nothing more. And others say the
solution is to put a guillotine in the

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village squares and cut the politicians and
bankers' heads off. I can'

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t be in favor of something as
wild as the beak and the stop.

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But, my friends, don'
t lose faith. Things are fucked up

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but don' t lose faith.
The human being is wonderful. What happens

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is that you don' t notice, you notice and you' re here

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conservative, you' ve been offended. I have to tell you that I

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have things of conservative mentality that I
deeply respect. I also like to fuck

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without a condom many times