June 27, 2024
Denny Horror - Amor
WEBVTT
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:16.079
Comedy Central podcast. Hahahaha? What? Tal? What? Tal? What?
2
00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:19.559
Tal? What? Tal? Good
night, good Slavic joy. I
3
00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:22.079
' m Danny, that' s
what he calls me here in Madrid,
4
00:00:22.199 --> 00:00:26.039
but when I was little they called
me The Prince. It' s not
5
00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:31.199
because I was very handsome, because
my parents were cousins and right now my
6
00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:33.719
second monologue for paramon comit is my
second Monolatego, the first one got in
7
00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:36.119
a few months ago. It was
called death and it was as a journey
8
00:00:36.200 --> 00:00:38.920
for darker and depressing riconies of human
existence, not as death and suicide the
9
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:44.079
forties Latino. I do believe,
I think this monologue has created me as
10
00:00:44.119 --> 00:00:46.960
a rare fame, you know as
a macabre and dark person and really nothing
11
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:51.159
further from reality. I' m
a very vitalistic guy. I gave it
12
00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:54.759
to my mother. When we were
little, my mother always told us every
13
00:00:54.840 --> 00:00:59.479
new day of life is a reason
for celebration. Then we found out he
14
00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:08.439
was an alcoholic. But well,
hahahahaha, j is hard to figure out
15
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:11.680
these things. Custa realizes. For
example, my father is a lugopath and
16
00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:14.680
I have taken him in secret and
we realized because he always eats the fruit
17
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:19.560
of three in three. It'
s like nothing. They' re good
18
00:01:19.560 --> 00:01:22.799
people and my old people are good
people. In fact, we have a
19
00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:25.879
tradition of our family that there is
always Christmas Eve. We always sit a
20
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:30.040
poor man at our table, then
the man has a terrible time there watching
21
00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:40.120
us stamp and so on. But
now to that detail is detail. The
22
00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:41.920
thing is, I want to change
the image, I want to change the
23
00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:46.159
image. So I' ve decided
that this new monologue is going to be
24
00:01:46.200 --> 00:01:53.000
entirely about love. Oh, how
beautiful is love? Right, what is
25
00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:57.879
love? They say love is never
saying I' m never sorry, which
26
00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:02.239
is a bitch. If it'
s already colander, of course precocious,
27
00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:07.199
because then what do you say.
YEAAA. Well, I think if we
28
00:02:07.199 --> 00:02:09.599
' re going to start doing a
little experiment, okay, the girls in
29
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:12.840
the living room, let' s
just imagine that tonight we have a little
30
00:02:12.840 --> 00:02:15.520
bit of a skank. I,
who know sometimes happens or have been told,
31
00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:19.840
I like to imagine that if you
know you do not break my dream
32
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:21.960
and come here they are the one
with a few drinks brother then you finish
33
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.639
the night, because I do not
know how this handsome gentleman in the second
34
00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:27.280
row, for example, what you
call yourself the boy of Rojo Sergio.
35
00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:30.360
This wasn' t casual. Sergio. I have told you Sergio, because
36
00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:34.439
I know that he is a regular
spectator of true comedy and has fame throughout
37
00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:38.319
the Spanish circuit of being an exceptional
lover. It' s like a Greek
38
00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:43.080
sex god out there in sport as
in fact, as in fact many of
39
00:02:43.159 --> 00:02:46.159
the girls who come here to Joyslava
and Bun come out that another young man
40
00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:49.879
to Vigo is Sergio. But let' s imagine girl, let' s
41
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:53.240
imagine that tonight you' re going
to marry Sergio and incredibly because of these
42
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:54.120
coincidences that you' re one in
a million, we' re not going
43
00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:55.240
to apologize, Sergio. But tonight
you don' t have the day.
44
00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.159
Tonight, Sergio doesn' t have
the day. But isn' t it
45
00:02:59.159 --> 00:03:00.840
that I throw the worst at you
or what I' ve thrown into your
46
00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:02.879
life is that tonight, Sergio throws
the worst at you? Dust that no
47
00:03:02.919 --> 00:03:06.919
human being cast to another. Never
in history. Tonight, that' s
48
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:08.039
how he does everything wrong, all
wrong. Basically, he rides on top,
49
00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:20.560
farts, calls you Mom and cries. We' ve all been there,
50
00:03:20.599 --> 00:03:25.159
Sergio, we' re you,
we' re with you, and
51
00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:30.599
there you are, you' ve
really been naked next to Sergio' s
52
00:03:30.639 --> 00:03:34.319
heavy body, uh, and sweaty, spending the most alien shame of your
53
00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:37.680
life, waiting at that moment so
hard for us guys to tell you that,
54
00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:38.199
because I don' t know what
happened to me this time that never
55
00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:45.680
happened to me. But Sergio doesn' t do that. He looks at
56
00:03:45.719 --> 00:03:53.560
your eyes and tells you how you
stay. And now the next one says
57
00:03:53.639 --> 00:03:54.080
rock me to, friend and I' m out of here tonight with Sergio,
58
00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:57.319
you tell him, you say without
words, without square, that is,
59
00:03:57.560 --> 00:03:58.680
the town was horrible. But I' ll tell you one thing.
60
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:01.680
That bastard' s got style.
Yeah, folks, let' s just
61
00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:03.000
say when we get married when we
want to. It' s much better
62
00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:04.280
for me to say. He'
s here. I don' t know,
63
00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:08.879
imagine Zapatero, not the last Congress, when they told him about but
64
00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:11.240
this sea that said there was no
crisis. Imagine answering with two balls.
65
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:16.279
Yeaa. It would be like ah
good, because don' t you forgive
66
00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:18.639
or let' s say yea you
know when you lend or know you have
67
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:19.519
no idea, but you' re
going to try luck and nourish blank.
68
00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:21.759
And but that takes it. He
looks at you and says it' s
69
00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:26.920
done. We apologize, not what
we have to say and look at you
70
00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:30.319
talk about it. Look, I
put a zero on the test, but
71
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:33.279
a ten on molar. Say come
on, you know, when you go
72
00:04:33.319 --> 00:04:34.000
listening to music, not down the
street too much to you. Te.
73
00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:36.519
Looks like everyone listens to the music
at the same volume as you and you
74
00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:40.240
' re farting a little bit.
You don' t think anyone' s
75
00:04:40.279 --> 00:04:41.600
mad, but an old lady is
looking at you, an old woman I
76
00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.920
haven' t heard. We apologize
to that old bitch. What do we
77
00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:48.759
have to say. Hey, and
people will say that guy stinks of success.
78
00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:53.240
Oh, imagine you' re with
tomato coming home to your partner.
79
00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:54.839
We get caught in bed. Here
we' re going to say this isn
80
00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:58.600
' t what it looks like,
not what we have to say. I
81
00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:03.959
confess I wouldn' t have balls, but uf ah look, look,
82
00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:12.399
look at this delivery, that one
or that you' ve come as a
83
00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:14.879
couple, my God. So it' s ye ha ha the burden,
84
00:05:15.879 --> 00:05:18.079
nothing' s gonna be cool.
It' s just not how love works.
85
00:05:18.120 --> 00:05:19.720
Not that it' s how it
works. For example, my girlfriend
86
00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:24.079
when I met her attracted me a
lot. You know right away because it
87
00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:27.759
looks like a teenager. You know
what teenagers are like, not always like
88
00:05:27.839 --> 00:05:30.879
a snot of disdain that is this
no- go- go- go-
89
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
90
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
91
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
92
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
93
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
94
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
95
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
96
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
97
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
98
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
99
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
100
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:32.759
- go- go- go-
go- go- go. I asked
101
00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:38.839
her about life. Hey, he
told me no, I didn' t
102
00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:42.279
talk I could and it didn'
t make it easy for me. It
103
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:43.920
didn' t make it easy for
me. In fact, Dani told me
104
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:46.439
she wouldn' t go out with
you or die. But I have a
105
00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:53.720
lot of perseverance and you take out
a shovel kisses and you know how I
106
00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:56.519
conquered it friend, you know how
I conquered it with love letters. If
107
00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:59.759
you want to conquer a woman,
nothing better than to write a love letter
108
00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:04.839
carefully, this can be counterproductive.
If you have many spelling faults, because
109
00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:08.839
for a true girl to receive a
love letter with faults is like a detail
110
00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:12.639
that is tender but at the same
time gruesome. It' s not like
111
00:06:12.680 --> 00:06:14.680
I' m singing your birthday.
He' s happy, a bunch of
112
00:06:14.680 --> 00:06:25.319
gangy kids, like it' s
okay, but you can shut up freaks
113
00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:26.639
pussy and before there was love trises. You know this. Before in every
114
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:29.480
culture I had a God of love. God is that a man like Eros
115
00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:32.399
or Eastar Aphrodite is easily recognized,
right, because everyone has the name of
116
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:36.519
Puti Club. Now we don'
t have love hyons anymore. We haven
117
00:06:36.519 --> 00:06:39.560
' t had since love. We
have love movies that are also magical.
118
00:06:39.639 --> 00:06:41.920
Not because the tumor movies are these
that if you watch it one day on
119
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:44.720
TV every week it disgusts you,
but if you catch it on a Sunday
120
00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:47.360
of hangovers you cry like a bitch, you know it' s like I
121
00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:49.120
don' t know perty Woman.
We' ve all seen plati Woman.
122
00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:54.759
True, this entrepreneur does not tell
you a prostitute and in the end he
123
00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:58.720
ends up asking for marriage, which
is not clear if he does, because
124
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:10.600
it is very romantic or a cheap
one. You know it' s like
125
00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:15.560
uf because we almost made it official. Then it' s Titanic, not
126
00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:16.920
Titanic. A lot of people find
it sad titanic because in the end you
127
00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:20.160
know that the boy dies and is
left alone. But if you imagine it
128
00:07:20.199 --> 00:07:24.720
' s the story of a boat
that falls in love with an Iceberg,
129
00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:29.279
ends well, they don' t
end up together, I just love happy
130
00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:31.279
endings. I adore happy endings.
That' s why I give it to
131
00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:43.959
American movies or Chinese hairdressers. Depends, depends on the day. Then there
132
00:07:44.040 --> 00:07:46.399
is another kind of love, which
is love for animals. Not recently I
133
00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:48.240
wanted to have a pet. She
was a protector here who' s been
134
00:07:48.279 --> 00:07:53.920
proming a protector once. Yeah,
it' s something that' s really
135
00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:56.360
nice to do around here, no, but it' s also hard,
136
00:07:56.920 --> 00:08:01.079
right, because of course you have
to see all those abandoned faces together,
137
00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:03.319
not those eyes that beg for love. It' s like going into vitic
138
00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:09.439
com you know, it' s
like or why here you saw a hug,
139
00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:13.519
a buzz. I don' t
know goodbye I' m more of
140
00:08:13.519 --> 00:08:16.319
a dog or a cat. How
are more dogs or cats, but here,
141
00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:24.319
on this side and cats. You
always had a cat, but I
142
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:26.519
recognize you' re a shit mascot. I mean, especially when you'
143
00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:28.759
re in love, not because you
know, when you' re in love,
144
00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:33.639
it' s meet someone you know
and you walk out of the shower
145
00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:35.200
naked and dancing sexy you' re
like and suddenly you realize that you'
146
00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:37.720
re not alone at home. If
you have a dog, it doesn'
147
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:39.879
t matter, because the pro is
like he doesn' t understand anything,
148
00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:43.159
but he participates. You know how
he hears. I don' t know
149
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:52.320
what' s going on, but
it doesn' t look cool. But
150
00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:58.919
if you have a cat, it' s a roll cut, because you
151
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:05.200
stand there and move two looking at
you. It' s like how strong
152
00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:07.879
he looks at you, you don' t think that if cats talked,
153
00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:09.960
they' d all have a voice
like a bad faggot and fuck you up.
154
00:09:09.960 --> 00:09:11.440
If I never fuck up your car, dude. That' s why
155
00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:15.240
you' ve noticed that dictators,
all dictators have dogs. None of them
156
00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:16.399
have cats. In fact, there
is a custom in the United States that
157
00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:18.440
the President of the United States,
with your love, wanders to the White
158
00:09:18.440 --> 00:09:22.279
House. This tradition that carries a
dog. These people could never bring abduction.
159
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:24.960
You know why it is? Because
it has to be very frustrating to
160
00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:28.360
know that you' re the most
powerful person in the world and you don
161
00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:28.840
' t have the balls to force
your vote to do anything. If he
162
00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:31.159
doesn' t want to, you
know, I can be the worst dictator.
163
00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.039
Hilder gets him with a cat would
have missed it. It would be
164
00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:41.360
like already for the pacucha key not
pachucha forgives. It' s very strong.
165
00:09:48.279 --> 00:09:50.240
But we' re talking about love, friends, we' re talking
166
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:54.120
about love. They say beauty is
inside. That' s why people kill
167
00:09:54.240 --> 00:10:01.360
for extreme planning. No. You
don' t have to make appearances,
168
00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:03.200
Friends, you don' t have
to trust the apparent ones, especially at
169
00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.639
night. If it hasn' t
happened that you sleep with a princess and
170
00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:11.320
wake up like an infant, you
don' t have to trust that price
171
00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:13.639
either girls, because, for example, you look at me that you see
172
00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:16.600
a white boy, but all my
lovers say that in bed I am transformed
173
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:30.159
by a black, specifically that step
furkel Ja. We already filmed a little
174
00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:31.919
with sex. Not that the whole
world has the fantasy of lying down every
175
00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:35.120
night as an unknown person, but
that can only be done by rock stars
176
00:10:35.240 --> 00:10:43.240
with the sick. Such a good
hemer. If there is any gassed person
177
00:10:43.320 --> 00:10:45.440
who has the family and has found
it wrong, please not just to the
178
00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:50.559
chest, tomorrow will have been alive
and then there are people with fetishes.
179
00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:52.919
If I don' t confetify you
and I have a colleague who' s
180
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:54.639
your biggest fetish is screwing a virgin
always there. I want to throw away
181
00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:56.159
a virgin? I want to throw
away a virgin? I want to throw
182
00:10:56.159 --> 00:10:58.279
away a virgin? And I don' t understand it, because I tried
183
00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:01.440
it once and I didn' t
like it as a mom and then I
184
00:11:01.480 --> 00:11:05.000
almost got killed by the brothers in
the fraternity. You don' t have
185
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:07.159
to forgive. You don' t
have to forgive me. I' m
186
00:11:07.159 --> 00:11:09.399
a boy, very romantic. I' m very romantic. I like to
187
00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:13.799
think that all the girls I'
ve been with have taken a little bit
188
00:11:13.840 --> 00:11:26.480
of me is what has the oriasis. Don' t pull this system.
189
00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:28.919
I like it because it always stays
like floating in the environment. Not everyone
190
00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:35.840
is living their experience and it is
nice that it is so. Now I
191
00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:37.720
' m cold, you' ve
fucked her lately. Not because she wants
192
00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:39.200
us to have children and I don' t want to, and it'
193
00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:41.480
s a very tough situation in a
couple. Not because she, to feel
194
00:11:41.480 --> 00:11:43.759
realized as a woman, needs a
baby, but I don' t want
195
00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:46.919
anything. So how do you figure
it out? Not good, the fairest
196
00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:52.279
thing if I' ve always given
a monkey to the middle way truth and
197
00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:54.879
the same to you this remote tells
me Danni what you' re going a
198
00:11:54.919 --> 00:12:01.200
monkey is not a child that I
tell you good wait for millions of years,
199
00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:03.120
that if we want it all now
it' s very easy. And
200
00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:05.399
he didn' t take it well, that is, he takes it well,
201
00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:09.559
that is, he' s angry
and he' s gone home and
202
00:12:09.559 --> 00:12:13.159
he' s left me with the
monkey. But I' m good at
203
00:12:13.159 --> 00:12:15.759
it. I' m doing well
because when you' re in a very
204
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:18.960
long relationship, you don' t
realize that living with a monkey looks pretty
205
00:12:18.039 --> 00:12:22.600
much like living with your girlfriend.
Not because we' re going to talk
206
00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:24.840
to you, and after a minute
in your head, you can only hear
207
00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:31.799
uuaaaaaaaaaaaa. But, Brother, you
have an advantage. The monkey has an
208
00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:37.600
advantage, and at the same time
makes pirouettes, you hahahahaja. So,
209
00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:43.120
girls, girls, girls, girls, girls who are looking at me now
210
00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:46.600
I have an eyebrow up and cross
a tip. I have a roll and
211
00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:48.639
a roll if you complained that we
didn' t see you. Listen,
212
00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:52.120
when you talk to him, put
something else on your side, but he
213
00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:56.320
' s gonna give you a couple
of flips. Hey, it' s
214
00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:56.720
not the same thing. It'
s not the same thing your nine is
215
00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:58.360
talking to you. I don'
t know about the last mari of the
216
00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:03.440
fifteen m There' s the go
of the door that' s boring,
217
00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:07.399
but imagine he does it hanging from
the lamp face down. It' s
218
00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:09.559
how I' m interested. Well, I know you' ve learned a
219
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.039
little bit in this part. We
all know that man comes from the monkey.
220
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:16.360
In the case of the Jonkies,
continuously that like this of the Johnkys,
221
00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:18.279
I have always had a doubt not, because to see we all know
222
00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.759
that a Yonking cannot have a coherent
conversation, but either the first division forces
223
00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:26.679
or forces. So I say to
see they haven' t been fooling themselves
224
00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:31.159
and it turns out that what fucks
your brain is not really drugs and it
225
00:13:31.159 --> 00:13:43.360
' s chandal. My girl says
I changed her life. It' s
226
00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:46.440
nice for a girl to tell you
that, not the roles she always says
227
00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.000
crying and breaking things. It'
s not hard being it' s not
228
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.519
hard on me boyfriend, because you
don' t just have to be a
229
00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:54.679
lover and friend, right, sometimes
you also have to be a psychologist.
230
00:13:54.399 --> 00:13:56.399
The other day I didn' t
get very sad home. Tenny told me.
231
00:13:58.279 --> 00:14:00.440
I think I hate my father,
or I' m a more person.
232
00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:05.200
Of course not, honey. Everyone
hates your father. He' s
233
00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:13.240
a drunk. Sometimes I do not
think about finding out children. I like
234
00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:16.879
ninchos, I like kids you know
no, not as much as Michael Jackson,
235
00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:20.039
but you have a son. Okay. I don' t want to
236
00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:22.120
make a joke about this. In
fact, I' m going to explain.
237
00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:24.080
I' m a big fan of
Michael Jackson. No, and I
238
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.559
had a really bad time when people
joke that with this subject because we didn
239
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:28.600
' t remember how things went.
Not really to see. For starters,
240
00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.120
Michel Jackson wasn' t convicted of
this case He was innocent. Second,
241
00:14:31.159 --> 00:14:33.679
he wasn' t accused of raping
children either. They were good, some
242
00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:37.279
touching, talking bad, some straws
that won' t leave either. And
243
00:14:37.399 --> 00:14:39.879
finally, the child who accused him
was a child of a very poor family
244
00:14:39.919 --> 00:14:43.279
who had to canher and Mekal Jackson
paid for the treatment, I knew the
245
00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:48.679
life of that child and man called
my hypochondriac, but I sincerely believe that
246
00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:52.399
if I had cancer and any of
you saved my life, I have no
247
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:56.840
problem. Don' t take a
straw. It' s just that I
248
00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:07.080
make you the straw of your life. Come on, look, I put
249
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:09.639
you on incense, a record worse
than Ana Rosa' s show, the
250
00:15:09.639 --> 00:15:13.679
total straw. And this has not
made me think that there are many problems
251
00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:16.759
in the world, in many problems. Not because right now people are dying
252
00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:20.480
of diseases that have been eradicated.
It' s the middle age and that
253
00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:24.519
' s happening not only makes the
world, it' s happening much closer
254
00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:28.080
in Murcia, b in lugo.
And on the other hand, luckily,
255
00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:31.399
by desiring you, we also have
many perverts with money. I don'
256
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:35.679
t know if you see where I' m going, but it wouldn'
257
00:15:35.720 --> 00:15:39.320
t be cool if the government didn' t take out a law that basically
258
00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:41.960
says if you knew someone' s
life you could throw it away once it
259
00:15:41.960 --> 00:15:45.080
would be so bad. It'
s immoral. Yeah, it' s
260
00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:56.200
responsive, yeah, we' d
save lives. So, you want to
261
00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:02.720
want me to take this idea to
the children' s days and call me
262
00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:12.200
upset. Maybe there are more things
you shouldn' t joke about. Never.
263
00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:15.000
No, for example, sexual abuse, right, sexual abuse is never
264
00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:22.279
fun. Never unless you get raped, it' s a little road boy.
265
00:16:22.759 --> 00:16:27.840
But that' s very difficult.
Let' s think about this.
266
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:34.000
Someone in this room I islanda,
can assure eye ensure that if you were
267
00:16:34.039 --> 00:16:37.440
shot by little boy from the driveway
at no time would you miss the laugh.
268
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.000
Well, I don' t say
at the time of the rape,
269
00:16:42.039 --> 00:16:48.320
that it' s obviously very hard
and very dramatic, but then I would
270
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:52.159
commit myself to rebuilding the facts.
I have a suspect then. He'
271
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:57.799
s a white male of about sixty, bald in a shirt of many colors
272
00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:02.679
and how it was that he attacked
me walking so calmly. So today who
273
00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:10.319
does copode now and can' t
tell us anything else. I don'
274
00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:22.440
t just remember his twin blades and
the attack took place in an open field.
275
00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:26.920
Right, yeah, how do you
know? He is the sinner of
276
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:37.640
the prairie. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, nothing,
but we are, we are talking about
277
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.799
love and we have strayed in addition
to one aspect perhaps not at the end.
278
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:45.680
Yes, it' s true that
my girl ended up leaving me,
279
00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:48.240
saying she needed to be with a
man who would surprise you every day.
280
00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:53.720
I guess he' s happy because
he left like a schizophrenic, but not
281
00:17:53.799 --> 00:17:56.880
according to Rico, he wasn'
t fat nicol baton that while we were
282
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:00.160
together, he gave me everything a
woman can give a man. But not
283
00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:10.440
that venereal thing. And that'
s because we complicated a lot. Love
284
00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:11.480
isn' t that hard. Love
isn' t that complicated. I,
285
00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:15.480
to be really happy, the only
thing I would need is you know what
286
00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:18.200
the love of a normal girl is, and nothing more, just the love
287
00:18:18.279 --> 00:18:23.839
of a normal girl, good for
two dwarfs. But it is and now
288
00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:26.640
I am learning what the taste of
lovelessness is, not the taste of lovelessness.
289
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:30.400
And it' s funny because many
great poets have asked what the taste
290
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:33.799
of love is, many great poets. No Williams is invisible spirit, but
291
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:37.680
no one has ever wondered what he
knows. The lovebreaker was thinking about it.
292
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:41.160
He can' t know, obviously, anything rich. It has to
293
00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:42.920
know sadness, loneliness, depression and
what we eat when we' re sad,
294
00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:45.559
overwhelmed, depressed, when we give
a shit, then I realized that
295
00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:52.880
lovelessness, at least my lovelessness,
has to know Chinese pizza. You know
296
00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:56.079
what the fuck I' m talking
about. It is not these pizzas that
297
00:18:56.119 --> 00:18:57.680
they sell in Chinese shops cost between
two euros, two and a half euros.
298
00:18:57.960 --> 00:19:02.079
There' s like eight lins varieties. I didn' t know anything
299
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.920
that already when you' re taking
your whole bread from failure. The whole
300
00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:06.559
bread of failure, the one that
doesn' t know consists of Chinese pizza,
301
00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:10.480
bag of potatoes and liter of beer
that the dependent sells to you as
302
00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:15.480
if you really want to do this
to the lucky cat they look at you
303
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:19.680
it' s like I can'
t see this and I understand that it
304
00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:22.039
' s a necessary product, protente, but it should be more sincere with
305
00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.799
the shit that they' re selling
to us than that thing of putting names
306
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:27.200
close, those pizzas. You know
primame pizza. Here I am treading spring,
307
00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:32.920
not pizza spring. It should be
called raw winter pizza. The four
308
00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.440
seasons, four disappointments, the margarita, the tear and the coal, the
309
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:51.839
ortega, the lara or the yea
more with people. And one last thing
310
00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:55.160
because since I' ve been out
on Palmon Comedy, sometimes people recognize me
311
00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:56.559
on the street. It' s
not funny, because you know when people
312
00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:59.440
go near everybody they have the same
thing. Another world asks him the same
313
00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:06.359
thing. It' s how Dani
recommends golden rain. Boy, I know
314
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:11.559
and I always ask all the same
questions. Of course, you should all
315
00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:14.920
put the juvedoruda with your partner at
least once and you have not like it
316
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:19.000
no matter what, because second of
your partner leaves you for another person and
317
00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:23.519
you cross them down the street.
You' ll be grateful to have that
318
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:30.599
mental image. You know Tessatros a
lot more sincere sopssa. It' ll
319
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.279
be like yea and since you'
ve been a wonderful audience tonight and I
320
00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:45.759
' m going to do one thing
I don' t usually do, which
321
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:48.559
is, I' d like you
to read a poem written about love and
322
00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:48.960
see I' m not a poet, I already say it in advance.
323
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.920
Maybe a little low. After so
much, Joker won' t end up
324
00:20:51.920 --> 00:21:03.720
with a little poetry, but I
hope this time you' ll let me
325
00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:07.039
say so you ask me what love
is. While you eat a Rockefort cheese,
326
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:14.119
which guy has to arrive, you
know what we are poetry critics in
327
00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:21.279
Yoislav Now you don' t better
ask me what love is. It is
328
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:26.119
beauty and imperfection are two mouths that
bind with leporine lips. Love is a
329
00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:33.279
seven- messine chimpanzee baby. It' s a shared mental retardation. It
330
00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:44.079
' s a lurrid song versioned by
pitingo. It' s beautiful for the
331
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:45.920
one who lives it and the one
who sees it. Disgusting like a turtle
332
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:52.400
' s orgasge or the singing of
a gango boy. It' s a
333
00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:53.319
traumatic experience I' ll do when
I' m reminded of. Love is
334
00:21:53.400 --> 00:22:06.640
to be raped by a small man
on the road. It' s eating
335
00:22:06.680 --> 00:22:12.720
Chinese floor chewing melancholy while your cat
watches you thinking how he knew. But
336
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:15.920
even if you' re fucked.
If he knocks on your door again,
337
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.200
don' t say outside, don' t go away or run away.
338
00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:25.680
Let' s all say stronger to
the rest now. Thank you very much,
339
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:26.799
Jos. If a cop laughs
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:16.079
Comedy Central podcast. Hahahaha? What? Tal? What? Tal? What?
2
00:00:16.120 --> 00:00:19.559
Tal? What? Tal? Good
night, good Slavic joy. I
3
00:00:19.640 --> 00:00:22.079
' m Danny, that' s
what he calls me here in Madrid,
4
00:00:22.199 --> 00:00:26.039
but when I was little they called
me The Prince. It' s not
5
00:00:26.039 --> 00:00:31.199
because I was very handsome, because
my parents were cousins and right now my
6
00:00:31.239 --> 00:00:33.719
second monologue for paramon comit is my
second Monolatego, the first one got in
7
00:00:33.719 --> 00:00:36.119
a few months ago. It was
called death and it was as a journey
8
00:00:36.200 --> 00:00:38.920
for darker and depressing riconies of human
existence, not as death and suicide the
9
00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:44.079
forties Latino. I do believe,
I think this monologue has created me as
10
00:00:44.119 --> 00:00:46.960
a rare fame, you know as
a macabre and dark person and really nothing
11
00:00:46.960 --> 00:00:51.159
further from reality. I' m
a very vitalistic guy. I gave it
12
00:00:51.200 --> 00:00:54.759
to my mother. When we were
little, my mother always told us every
13
00:00:54.840 --> 00:00:59.479
new day of life is a reason
for celebration. Then we found out he
14
00:00:59.479 --> 00:01:08.439
was an alcoholic. But well,
hahahahaha, j is hard to figure out
15
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:11.680
these things. Custa realizes. For
example, my father is a lugopath and
16
00:01:11.760 --> 00:01:14.680
I have taken him in secret and
we realized because he always eats the fruit
17
00:01:14.719 --> 00:01:19.560
of three in three. It'
s like nothing. They' re good
18
00:01:19.560 --> 00:01:22.799
people and my old people are good
people. In fact, we have a
19
00:01:22.799 --> 00:01:25.879
tradition of our family that there is
always Christmas Eve. We always sit a
20
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:30.040
poor man at our table, then
the man has a terrible time there watching
21
00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:40.120
us stamp and so on. But
now to that detail is detail. The
22
00:01:40.120 --> 00:01:41.920
thing is, I want to change
the image, I want to change the
23
00:01:41.920 --> 00:01:46.159
image. So I' ve decided
that this new monologue is going to be
24
00:01:46.200 --> 00:01:53.000
entirely about love. Oh, how
beautiful is love? Right, what is
25
00:01:53.040 --> 00:01:57.879
love? They say love is never
saying I' m never sorry, which
26
00:01:57.920 --> 00:02:02.239
is a bitch. If it'
s already colander, of course precocious,
27
00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:07.199
because then what do you say.
YEAAA. Well, I think if we
28
00:02:07.199 --> 00:02:09.599
' re going to start doing a
little experiment, okay, the girls in
29
00:02:09.599 --> 00:02:12.840
the living room, let' s
just imagine that tonight we have a little
30
00:02:12.840 --> 00:02:15.520
bit of a skank. I,
who know sometimes happens or have been told,
31
00:02:15.680 --> 00:02:19.840
I like to imagine that if you
know you do not break my dream
32
00:02:19.840 --> 00:02:21.960
and come here they are the one
with a few drinks brother then you finish
33
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.639
the night, because I do not
know how this handsome gentleman in the second
34
00:02:23.639 --> 00:02:27.280
row, for example, what you
call yourself the boy of Rojo Sergio.
35
00:02:27.960 --> 00:02:30.360
This wasn' t casual. Sergio. I have told you Sergio, because
36
00:02:30.360 --> 00:02:34.439
I know that he is a regular
spectator of true comedy and has fame throughout
37
00:02:34.439 --> 00:02:38.319
the Spanish circuit of being an exceptional
lover. It' s like a Greek
38
00:02:38.400 --> 00:02:43.080
sex god out there in sport as
in fact, as in fact many of
39
00:02:43.159 --> 00:02:46.159
the girls who come here to Joyslava
and Bun come out that another young man
40
00:02:46.240 --> 00:02:49.879
to Vigo is Sergio. But let' s imagine girl, let' s
41
00:02:49.919 --> 00:02:53.240
imagine that tonight you' re going
to marry Sergio and incredibly because of these
42
00:02:53.360 --> 00:02:54.120
coincidences that you' re one in
a million, we' re not going
43
00:02:54.120 --> 00:02:55.240
to apologize, Sergio. But tonight
you don' t have the day.
44
00:02:57.280 --> 00:02:59.159
Tonight, Sergio doesn' t have
the day. But isn' t it
45
00:02:59.159 --> 00:03:00.840
that I throw the worst at you
or what I' ve thrown into your
46
00:03:00.840 --> 00:03:02.879
life is that tonight, Sergio throws
the worst at you? Dust that no
47
00:03:02.919 --> 00:03:06.919
human being cast to another. Never
in history. Tonight, that' s
48
00:03:07.039 --> 00:03:08.039
how he does everything wrong, all
wrong. Basically, he rides on top,
49
00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:20.560
farts, calls you Mom and cries. We' ve all been there,
50
00:03:20.599 --> 00:03:25.159
Sergio, we' re you,
we' re with you, and
51
00:03:25.199 --> 00:03:30.599
there you are, you' ve
really been naked next to Sergio' s
52
00:03:30.639 --> 00:03:34.319
heavy body, uh, and sweaty, spending the most alien shame of your
53
00:03:34.400 --> 00:03:37.680
life, waiting at that moment so
hard for us guys to tell you that,
54
00:03:37.960 --> 00:03:38.199
because I don' t know what
happened to me this time that never
55
00:03:38.199 --> 00:03:45.680
happened to me. But Sergio doesn' t do that. He looks at
56
00:03:45.719 --> 00:03:53.560
your eyes and tells you how you
stay. And now the next one says
57
00:03:53.639 --> 00:03:54.080
rock me to, friend and I' m out of here tonight with Sergio,
58
00:03:54.280 --> 00:03:57.319
you tell him, you say without
words, without square, that is,
59
00:03:57.560 --> 00:03:58.680
the town was horrible. But I' ll tell you one thing.
60
00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:01.680
That bastard' s got style.
Yeah, folks, let' s just
61
00:04:01.680 --> 00:04:03.000
say when we get married when we
want to. It' s much better
62
00:04:03.000 --> 00:04:04.280
for me to say. He'
s here. I don' t know,
63
00:04:04.400 --> 00:04:08.879
imagine Zapatero, not the last Congress, when they told him about but
64
00:04:08.919 --> 00:04:11.240
this sea that said there was no
crisis. Imagine answering with two balls.
65
00:04:11.680 --> 00:04:16.279
Yeaa. It would be like ah
good, because don' t you forgive
66
00:04:16.480 --> 00:04:18.639
or let' s say yea you
know when you lend or know you have
67
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:19.519
no idea, but you' re
going to try luck and nourish blank.
68
00:04:19.560 --> 00:04:21.759
And but that takes it. He
looks at you and says it' s
69
00:04:21.759 --> 00:04:26.920
done. We apologize, not what
we have to say and look at you
70
00:04:27.000 --> 00:04:30.319
talk about it. Look, I
put a zero on the test, but
71
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:33.279
a ten on molar. Say come
on, you know, when you go
72
00:04:33.319 --> 00:04:34.000
listening to music, not down the
street too much to you. Te.
73
00:04:34.120 --> 00:04:36.519
Looks like everyone listens to the music
at the same volume as you and you
74
00:04:36.560 --> 00:04:40.240
' re farting a little bit.
You don' t think anyone' s
75
00:04:40.279 --> 00:04:41.600
mad, but an old lady is
looking at you, an old woman I
76
00:04:41.600 --> 00:04:44.920
haven' t heard. We apologize
to that old bitch. What do we
77
00:04:45.000 --> 00:04:48.759
have to say. Hey, and
people will say that guy stinks of success.
78
00:04:50.360 --> 00:04:53.240
Oh, imagine you' re with
tomato coming home to your partner.
79
00:04:53.279 --> 00:04:54.839
We get caught in bed. Here
we' re going to say this isn
80
00:04:54.839 --> 00:04:58.600
' t what it looks like,
not what we have to say. I
81
00:04:58.680 --> 00:05:03.959
confess I wouldn' t have balls, but uf ah look, look,
82
00:05:04.399 --> 00:05:12.399
look at this delivery, that one
or that you' ve come as a
83
00:05:12.399 --> 00:05:14.879
couple, my God. So it' s ye ha ha the burden,
84
00:05:15.879 --> 00:05:18.079
nothing' s gonna be cool.
It' s just not how love works.
85
00:05:18.120 --> 00:05:19.720
Not that it' s how it
works. For example, my girlfriend
86
00:05:19.720 --> 00:05:24.079
when I met her attracted me a
lot. You know right away because it
87
00:05:24.120 --> 00:05:27.759
looks like a teenager. You know
what teenagers are like, not always like
88
00:05:27.839 --> 00:05:30.879
a snot of disdain that is this
no- go- go- go-
89
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
90
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
91
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
92
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
93
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
94
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
95
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
96
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
97
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
98
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
- go- go- go-
go- go- go- go-
99
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:31.040
go- go- go- go- go- go- go- go
100
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:32.759
- go- go- go-
go- go- go. I asked
101
00:05:32.920 --> 00:05:38.839
her about life. Hey, he
told me no, I didn' t
102
00:05:41.399 --> 00:05:42.279
talk I could and it didn'
t make it easy for me. It
103
00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:43.920
didn' t make it easy for
me. In fact, Dani told me
104
00:05:44.639 --> 00:05:46.439
she wouldn' t go out with
you or die. But I have a
105
00:05:46.519 --> 00:05:53.720
lot of perseverance and you take out
a shovel kisses and you know how I
106
00:05:53.759 --> 00:05:56.519
conquered it friend, you know how
I conquered it with love letters. If
107
00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:59.759
you want to conquer a woman,
nothing better than to write a love letter
108
00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:04.839
carefully, this can be counterproductive.
If you have many spelling faults, because
109
00:06:04.920 --> 00:06:08.839
for a true girl to receive a
love letter with faults is like a detail
110
00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:12.639
that is tender but at the same
time gruesome. It' s not like
111
00:06:12.680 --> 00:06:14.680
I' m singing your birthday.
He' s happy, a bunch of
112
00:06:14.680 --> 00:06:25.319
gangy kids, like it' s
okay, but you can shut up freaks
113
00:06:25.360 --> 00:06:26.639
pussy and before there was love trises. You know this. Before in every
114
00:06:26.720 --> 00:06:29.480
culture I had a God of love. God is that a man like Eros
115
00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:32.399
or Eastar Aphrodite is easily recognized,
right, because everyone has the name of
116
00:06:32.439 --> 00:06:36.519
Puti Club. Now we don'
t have love hyons anymore. We haven
117
00:06:36.519 --> 00:06:39.560
' t had since love. We
have love movies that are also magical.
118
00:06:39.639 --> 00:06:41.920
Not because the tumor movies are these
that if you watch it one day on
119
00:06:42.000 --> 00:06:44.720
TV every week it disgusts you,
but if you catch it on a Sunday
120
00:06:44.839 --> 00:06:47.360
of hangovers you cry like a bitch, you know it' s like I
121
00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:49.120
don' t know perty Woman.
We' ve all seen plati Woman.
122
00:06:49.160 --> 00:06:54.759
True, this entrepreneur does not tell
you a prostitute and in the end he
123
00:06:54.800 --> 00:06:58.720
ends up asking for marriage, which
is not clear if he does, because
124
00:06:58.800 --> 00:07:10.600
it is very romantic or a cheap
one. You know it' s like
125
00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:15.560
uf because we almost made it official. Then it' s Titanic, not
126
00:07:15.560 --> 00:07:16.920
Titanic. A lot of people find
it sad titanic because in the end you
127
00:07:17.000 --> 00:07:20.160
know that the boy dies and is
left alone. But if you imagine it
128
00:07:20.199 --> 00:07:24.720
' s the story of a boat
that falls in love with an Iceberg,
129
00:07:25.000 --> 00:07:29.279
ends well, they don' t
end up together, I just love happy
130
00:07:29.279 --> 00:07:31.279
endings. I adore happy endings.
That' s why I give it to
131
00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:43.959
American movies or Chinese hairdressers. Depends, depends on the day. Then there
132
00:07:44.040 --> 00:07:46.399
is another kind of love, which
is love for animals. Not recently I
133
00:07:46.480 --> 00:07:48.240
wanted to have a pet. She
was a protector here who' s been
134
00:07:48.279 --> 00:07:53.920
proming a protector once. Yeah,
it' s something that' s really
135
00:07:53.959 --> 00:07:56.360
nice to do around here, no, but it' s also hard,
136
00:07:56.920 --> 00:08:01.079
right, because of course you have
to see all those abandoned faces together,
137
00:08:01.360 --> 00:08:03.319
not those eyes that beg for love. It' s like going into vitic
138
00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:09.439
com you know, it' s
like or why here you saw a hug,
139
00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:13.519
a buzz. I don' t
know goodbye I' m more of
140
00:08:13.519 --> 00:08:16.319
a dog or a cat. How
are more dogs or cats, but here,
141
00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:24.319
on this side and cats. You
always had a cat, but I
142
00:08:24.319 --> 00:08:26.519
recognize you' re a shit mascot. I mean, especially when you'
143
00:08:26.519 --> 00:08:28.759
re in love, not because you
know, when you' re in love,
144
00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:33.639
it' s meet someone you know
and you walk out of the shower
145
00:08:33.720 --> 00:08:35.200
naked and dancing sexy you' re
like and suddenly you realize that you'
146
00:08:35.200 --> 00:08:37.720
re not alone at home. If
you have a dog, it doesn'
147
00:08:37.759 --> 00:08:39.879
t matter, because the pro is
like he doesn' t understand anything,
148
00:08:39.879 --> 00:08:43.159
but he participates. You know how
he hears. I don' t know
149
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:52.320
what' s going on, but
it doesn' t look cool. But
150
00:08:54.279 --> 00:08:58.919
if you have a cat, it' s a roll cut, because you
151
00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:05.200
stand there and move two looking at
you. It' s like how strong
152
00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:07.879
he looks at you, you don' t think that if cats talked,
153
00:09:07.240 --> 00:09:09.960
they' d all have a voice
like a bad faggot and fuck you up.
154
00:09:09.960 --> 00:09:11.440
If I never fuck up your car, dude. That' s why
155
00:09:11.440 --> 00:09:15.240
you' ve noticed that dictators,
all dictators have dogs. None of them
156
00:09:15.240 --> 00:09:16.399
have cats. In fact, there
is a custom in the United States that
157
00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:18.440
the President of the United States,
with your love, wanders to the White
158
00:09:18.440 --> 00:09:22.279
House. This tradition that carries a
dog. These people could never bring abduction.
159
00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:24.960
You know why it is? Because
it has to be very frustrating to
160
00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:28.360
know that you' re the most
powerful person in the world and you don
161
00:09:28.399 --> 00:09:28.840
' t have the balls to force
your vote to do anything. If he
162
00:09:28.960 --> 00:09:31.159
doesn' t want to, you
know, I can be the worst dictator.
163
00:09:31.240 --> 00:09:33.039
Hilder gets him with a cat would
have missed it. It would be
164
00:09:33.120 --> 00:09:41.360
like already for the pacucha key not
pachucha forgives. It' s very strong.
165
00:09:48.279 --> 00:09:50.240
But we' re talking about love, friends, we' re talking
166
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:54.120
about love. They say beauty is
inside. That' s why people kill
167
00:09:54.240 --> 00:10:01.360
for extreme planning. No. You
don' t have to make appearances,
168
00:10:01.399 --> 00:10:03.200
Friends, you don' t have
to trust the apparent ones, especially at
169
00:10:03.200 --> 00:10:05.639
night. If it hasn' t
happened that you sleep with a princess and
170
00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:11.320
wake up like an infant, you
don' t have to trust that price
171
00:10:11.399 --> 00:10:13.639
either girls, because, for example, you look at me that you see
172
00:10:13.639 --> 00:10:16.600
a white boy, but all my
lovers say that in bed I am transformed
173
00:10:16.720 --> 00:10:30.159
by a black, specifically that step
furkel Ja. We already filmed a little
174
00:10:30.200 --> 00:10:31.919
with sex. Not that the whole
world has the fantasy of lying down every
175
00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:35.120
night as an unknown person, but
that can only be done by rock stars
176
00:10:35.240 --> 00:10:43.240
with the sick. Such a good
hemer. If there is any gassed person
177
00:10:43.320 --> 00:10:45.440
who has the family and has found
it wrong, please not just to the
178
00:10:45.480 --> 00:10:50.559
chest, tomorrow will have been alive
and then there are people with fetishes.
179
00:10:50.600 --> 00:10:52.919
If I don' t confetify you
and I have a colleague who' s
180
00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:54.639
your biggest fetish is screwing a virgin
always there. I want to throw away
181
00:10:54.639 --> 00:10:56.159
a virgin? I want to throw
away a virgin? I want to throw
182
00:10:56.159 --> 00:10:58.279
away a virgin? And I don' t understand it, because I tried
183
00:10:58.320 --> 00:11:01.440
it once and I didn' t
like it as a mom and then I
184
00:11:01.480 --> 00:11:05.000
almost got killed by the brothers in
the fraternity. You don' t have
185
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:07.159
to forgive. You don' t
have to forgive me. I' m
186
00:11:07.159 --> 00:11:09.399
a boy, very romantic. I' m very romantic. I like to
187
00:11:09.440 --> 00:11:13.799
think that all the girls I'
ve been with have taken a little bit
188
00:11:13.840 --> 00:11:26.480
of me is what has the oriasis. Don' t pull this system.
189
00:11:26.480 --> 00:11:28.919
I like it because it always stays
like floating in the environment. Not everyone
190
00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:35.840
is living their experience and it is
nice that it is so. Now I
191
00:11:35.879 --> 00:11:37.720
' m cold, you' ve
fucked her lately. Not because she wants
192
00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:39.200
us to have children and I don' t want to, and it'
193
00:11:39.279 --> 00:11:41.480
s a very tough situation in a
couple. Not because she, to feel
194
00:11:41.480 --> 00:11:43.759
realized as a woman, needs a
baby, but I don' t want
195
00:11:43.759 --> 00:11:46.919
anything. So how do you figure
it out? Not good, the fairest
196
00:11:46.960 --> 00:11:52.279
thing if I' ve always given
a monkey to the middle way truth and
197
00:11:52.360 --> 00:11:54.879
the same to you this remote tells
me Danni what you' re going a
198
00:11:54.919 --> 00:12:01.200
monkey is not a child that I
tell you good wait for millions of years,
199
00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:03.120
that if we want it all now
it' s very easy. And
200
00:12:03.039 --> 00:12:05.399
he didn' t take it well, that is, he takes it well,
201
00:12:05.559 --> 00:12:09.559
that is, he' s angry
and he' s gone home and
202
00:12:09.559 --> 00:12:13.159
he' s left me with the
monkey. But I' m good at
203
00:12:13.159 --> 00:12:15.759
it. I' m doing well
because when you' re in a very
204
00:12:15.840 --> 00:12:18.960
long relationship, you don' t
realize that living with a monkey looks pretty
205
00:12:18.039 --> 00:12:22.600
much like living with your girlfriend.
Not because we' re going to talk
206
00:12:22.679 --> 00:12:24.840
to you, and after a minute
in your head, you can only hear
207
00:12:24.919 --> 00:12:31.799
uuaaaaaaaaaaaa. But, Brother, you
have an advantage. The monkey has an
208
00:12:31.840 --> 00:12:37.600
advantage, and at the same time
makes pirouettes, you hahahahaja. So,
209
00:12:37.679 --> 00:12:43.120
girls, girls, girls, girls, girls who are looking at me now
210
00:12:43.159 --> 00:12:46.600
I have an eyebrow up and cross
a tip. I have a roll and
211
00:12:46.679 --> 00:12:48.639
a roll if you complained that we
didn' t see you. Listen,
212
00:12:48.879 --> 00:12:52.120
when you talk to him, put
something else on your side, but he
213
00:12:52.200 --> 00:12:56.320
' s gonna give you a couple
of flips. Hey, it' s
214
00:12:56.360 --> 00:12:56.720
not the same thing. It'
s not the same thing your nine is
215
00:12:56.720 --> 00:12:58.360
talking to you. I don'
t know about the last mari of the
216
00:12:58.399 --> 00:13:03.440
fifteen m There' s the go
of the door that' s boring,
217
00:13:03.639 --> 00:13:07.399
but imagine he does it hanging from
the lamp face down. It' s
218
00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:09.559
how I' m interested. Well, I know you' ve learned a
219
00:13:09.600 --> 00:13:13.039
little bit in this part. We
all know that man comes from the monkey.
220
00:13:13.279 --> 00:13:16.360
In the case of the Jonkies,
continuously that like this of the Johnkys,
221
00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:18.279
I have always had a doubt not, because to see we all know
222
00:13:18.320 --> 00:13:22.759
that a Yonking cannot have a coherent
conversation, but either the first division forces
223
00:13:22.879 --> 00:13:26.679
or forces. So I say to
see they haven' t been fooling themselves
224
00:13:26.759 --> 00:13:31.159
and it turns out that what fucks
your brain is not really drugs and it
225
00:13:31.159 --> 00:13:43.360
' s chandal. My girl says
I changed her life. It' s
226
00:13:43.399 --> 00:13:46.440
nice for a girl to tell you
that, not the roles she always says
227
00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.000
crying and breaking things. It'
s not hard being it' s not
228
00:13:50.000 --> 00:13:52.519
hard on me boyfriend, because you
don' t just have to be a
229
00:13:52.600 --> 00:13:54.679
lover and friend, right, sometimes
you also have to be a psychologist.
230
00:13:54.399 --> 00:13:56.399
The other day I didn' t
get very sad home. Tenny told me.
231
00:13:58.279 --> 00:14:00.440
I think I hate my father,
or I' m a more person.
232
00:14:01.480 --> 00:14:05.200
Of course not, honey. Everyone
hates your father. He' s
233
00:14:05.200 --> 00:14:13.240
a drunk. Sometimes I do not
think about finding out children. I like
234
00:14:13.240 --> 00:14:16.879
ninchos, I like kids you know
no, not as much as Michael Jackson,
235
00:14:16.000 --> 00:14:20.039
but you have a son. Okay. I don' t want to
236
00:14:20.159 --> 00:14:22.120
make a joke about this. In
fact, I' m going to explain.
237
00:14:22.120 --> 00:14:24.080
I' m a big fan of
Michael Jackson. No, and I
238
00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:26.559
had a really bad time when people
joke that with this subject because we didn
239
00:14:26.559 --> 00:14:28.600
' t remember how things went.
Not really to see. For starters,
240
00:14:28.759 --> 00:14:31.120
Michel Jackson wasn' t convicted of
this case He was innocent. Second,
241
00:14:31.159 --> 00:14:33.679
he wasn' t accused of raping
children either. They were good, some
242
00:14:33.679 --> 00:14:37.279
touching, talking bad, some straws
that won' t leave either. And
243
00:14:37.399 --> 00:14:39.879
finally, the child who accused him
was a child of a very poor family
244
00:14:39.919 --> 00:14:43.279
who had to canher and Mekal Jackson
paid for the treatment, I knew the
245
00:14:43.320 --> 00:14:48.679
life of that child and man called
my hypochondriac, but I sincerely believe that
246
00:14:48.720 --> 00:14:52.399
if I had cancer and any of
you saved my life, I have no
247
00:14:52.120 --> 00:14:56.840
problem. Don' t take a
straw. It' s just that I
248
00:14:56.960 --> 00:15:07.080
make you the straw of your life. Come on, look, I put
249
00:15:07.120 --> 00:15:09.639
you on incense, a record worse
than Ana Rosa' s show, the
250
00:15:09.639 --> 00:15:13.679
total straw. And this has not
made me think that there are many problems
251
00:15:13.720 --> 00:15:16.759
in the world, in many problems. Not because right now people are dying
252
00:15:16.840 --> 00:15:20.480
of diseases that have been eradicated.
It' s the middle age and that
253
00:15:20.639 --> 00:15:24.519
' s happening not only makes the
world, it' s happening much closer
254
00:15:24.600 --> 00:15:28.080
in Murcia, b in lugo.
And on the other hand, luckily,
255
00:15:28.360 --> 00:15:31.399
by desiring you, we also have
many perverts with money. I don'
256
00:15:31.440 --> 00:15:35.679
t know if you see where I' m going, but it wouldn'
257
00:15:35.720 --> 00:15:39.320
t be cool if the government didn' t take out a law that basically
258
00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:41.960
says if you knew someone' s
life you could throw it away once it
259
00:15:41.960 --> 00:15:45.080
would be so bad. It'
s immoral. Yeah, it' s
260
00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:56.200
responsive, yeah, we' d
save lives. So, you want to
261
00:15:56.240 --> 00:16:02.720
want me to take this idea to
the children' s days and call me
262
00:16:02.720 --> 00:16:12.200
upset. Maybe there are more things
you shouldn' t joke about. Never.
263
00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:15.000
No, for example, sexual abuse, right, sexual abuse is never
264
00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:22.279
fun. Never unless you get raped, it' s a little road boy.
265
00:16:22.759 --> 00:16:27.840
But that' s very difficult.
Let' s think about this.
266
00:16:30.480 --> 00:16:34.000
Someone in this room I islanda,
can assure eye ensure that if you were
267
00:16:34.039 --> 00:16:37.440
shot by little boy from the driveway
at no time would you miss the laugh.
268
00:16:40.000 --> 00:16:42.000
Well, I don' t say
at the time of the rape,
269
00:16:42.039 --> 00:16:48.320
that it' s obviously very hard
and very dramatic, but then I would
270
00:16:48.320 --> 00:16:52.159
commit myself to rebuilding the facts.
I have a suspect then. He'
271
00:16:52.240 --> 00:16:57.799
s a white male of about sixty, bald in a shirt of many colors
272
00:16:57.879 --> 00:17:02.679
and how it was that he attacked
me walking so calmly. So today who
273
00:17:02.879 --> 00:17:10.319
does copode now and can' t
tell us anything else. I don'
274
00:17:10.440 --> 00:17:22.440
t just remember his twin blades and
the attack took place in an open field.
275
00:17:22.519 --> 00:17:26.920
Right, yeah, how do you
know? He is the sinner of
276
00:17:26.000 --> 00:17:37.640
the prairie. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, nothing,
but we are, we are talking about
277
00:17:37.680 --> 00:17:41.799
love and we have strayed in addition
to one aspect perhaps not at the end.
278
00:17:42.160 --> 00:17:45.680
Yes, it' s true that
my girl ended up leaving me,
279
00:17:45.880 --> 00:17:48.240
saying she needed to be with a
man who would surprise you every day.
280
00:17:48.640 --> 00:17:53.720
I guess he' s happy because
he left like a schizophrenic, but not
281
00:17:53.799 --> 00:17:56.880
according to Rico, he wasn'
t fat nicol baton that while we were
282
00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:00.160
together, he gave me everything a
woman can give a man. But not
283
00:18:00.160 --> 00:18:10.440
that venereal thing. And that'
s because we complicated a lot. Love
284
00:18:10.480 --> 00:18:11.480
isn' t that hard. Love
isn' t that complicated. I,
285
00:18:11.559 --> 00:18:15.480
to be really happy, the only
thing I would need is you know what
286
00:18:15.480 --> 00:18:18.200
the love of a normal girl is, and nothing more, just the love
287
00:18:18.279 --> 00:18:23.839
of a normal girl, good for
two dwarfs. But it is and now
288
00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:26.640
I am learning what the taste of
lovelessness is, not the taste of lovelessness.
289
00:18:26.720 --> 00:18:30.400
And it' s funny because many
great poets have asked what the taste
290
00:18:30.440 --> 00:18:33.799
of love is, many great poets. No Williams is invisible spirit, but
291
00:18:34.880 --> 00:18:37.680
no one has ever wondered what he
knows. The lovebreaker was thinking about it.
292
00:18:38.319 --> 00:18:41.160
He can' t know, obviously, anything rich. It has to
293
00:18:41.200 --> 00:18:42.920
know sadness, loneliness, depression and
what we eat when we' re sad,
294
00:18:44.200 --> 00:18:45.559
overwhelmed, depressed, when we give
a shit, then I realized that
295
00:18:45.640 --> 00:18:52.880
lovelessness, at least my lovelessness,
has to know Chinese pizza. You know
296
00:18:52.920 --> 00:18:56.079
what the fuck I' m talking
about. It is not these pizzas that
297
00:18:56.119 --> 00:18:57.680
they sell in Chinese shops cost between
two euros, two and a half euros.
298
00:18:57.960 --> 00:19:02.079
There' s like eight lins varieties. I didn' t know anything
299
00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:03.920
that already when you' re taking
your whole bread from failure. The whole
300
00:19:03.920 --> 00:19:06.559
bread of failure, the one that
doesn' t know consists of Chinese pizza,
301
00:19:07.039 --> 00:19:10.480
bag of potatoes and liter of beer
that the dependent sells to you as
302
00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:15.480
if you really want to do this
to the lucky cat they look at you
303
00:19:15.519 --> 00:19:19.680
it' s like I can'
t see this and I understand that it
304
00:19:19.680 --> 00:19:22.039
' s a necessary product, protente, but it should be more sincere with
305
00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.799
the shit that they' re selling
to us than that thing of putting names
306
00:19:25.799 --> 00:19:27.200
close, those pizzas. You know
primame pizza. Here I am treading spring,
307
00:19:27.640 --> 00:19:32.920
not pizza spring. It should be
called raw winter pizza. The four
308
00:19:33.000 --> 00:19:37.440
seasons, four disappointments, the margarita, the tear and the coal, the
309
00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:51.839
ortega, the lara or the yea
more with people. And one last thing
310
00:19:51.880 --> 00:19:55.160
because since I' ve been out
on Palmon Comedy, sometimes people recognize me
311
00:19:55.200 --> 00:19:56.559
on the street. It' s
not funny, because you know when people
312
00:19:56.559 --> 00:19:59.440
go near everybody they have the same
thing. Another world asks him the same
313
00:19:59.440 --> 00:20:06.359
thing. It' s how Dani
recommends golden rain. Boy, I know
314
00:20:06.480 --> 00:20:11.559
and I always ask all the same
questions. Of course, you should all
315
00:20:11.559 --> 00:20:14.920
put the juvedoruda with your partner at
least once and you have not like it
316
00:20:15.039 --> 00:20:19.000
no matter what, because second of
your partner leaves you for another person and
317
00:20:19.079 --> 00:20:23.519
you cross them down the street.
You' ll be grateful to have that
318
00:20:23.519 --> 00:20:30.599
mental image. You know Tessatros a
lot more sincere sopssa. It' ll
319
00:20:38.240 --> 00:20:41.279
be like yea and since you'
ve been a wonderful audience tonight and I
320
00:20:41.319 --> 00:20:45.759
' m going to do one thing
I don' t usually do, which
321
00:20:45.839 --> 00:20:48.559
is, I' d like you
to read a poem written about love and
322
00:20:48.599 --> 00:20:48.960
see I' m not a poet, I already say it in advance.
323
00:20:48.039 --> 00:20:51.920
Maybe a little low. After so
much, Joker won' t end up
324
00:20:51.920 --> 00:21:03.720
with a little poetry, but I
hope this time you' ll let me
325
00:21:03.799 --> 00:21:07.039
say so you ask me what love
is. While you eat a Rockefort cheese,
326
00:21:10.200 --> 00:21:14.119
which guy has to arrive, you
know what we are poetry critics in
327
00:21:14.160 --> 00:21:21.279
Yoislav Now you don' t better
ask me what love is. It is
328
00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:26.119
beauty and imperfection are two mouths that
bind with leporine lips. Love is a
329
00:21:26.200 --> 00:21:33.279
seven- messine chimpanzee baby. It' s a shared mental retardation. It
330
00:21:33.400 --> 00:21:44.079
' s a lurrid song versioned by
pitingo. It' s beautiful for the
331
00:21:44.160 --> 00:21:45.920
one who lives it and the one
who sees it. Disgusting like a turtle
332
00:21:47.000 --> 00:21:52.400
' s orgasge or the singing of
a gango boy. It' s a
333
00:21:52.480 --> 00:21:53.319
traumatic experience I' ll do when
I' m reminded of. Love is
334
00:21:53.400 --> 00:22:06.640
to be raped by a small man
on the road. It' s eating
335
00:22:06.680 --> 00:22:12.720
Chinese floor chewing melancholy while your cat
watches you thinking how he knew. But
336
00:22:12.720 --> 00:22:15.920
even if you' re fucked.
If he knocks on your door again,
337
00:22:15.279 --> 00:22:18.200
don' t say outside, don' t go away or run away.
338
00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:25.680
Let' s all say stronger to
the rest now. Thank you very much,
339
00:22:25.680 --> 00:22:26.799
Jos. If a cop laughs
