David Navarro - No soy yo eres tu

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Comedy Central podcast ja new nights.
How are you? You stretch me out?

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You' re stretching me, aren' t you? Aren' t

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you all right? Aren' t
you all right? To lie that I

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catch you, to fuck you that
people lie to you all day nining me,

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people walk man already. What I
did couples is that you' re

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not you I' m not me
now you' re you I was fucking

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chola, mother, bitch I'
m an article, ya, uh,

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people' s article. Meanwhile,
how long it takes, how long it

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' s gonna take for her to
step thirty minutes. Tons, I'

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ve got a head on my head. Thirty minutes and why it' s

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given forty- five are dumb the
shit, uh, I took forty-

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five chairs, took forty- fifty
Yeah, the secret isn' t in

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the dough. There' s another
15 minutes. It' s not going

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to be tied up or it'
s not going to take 30 minutes for

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pizza or the offer is valid,
because it' s over last month and

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the two for one are Wednesdays and
they pick up the place and with only

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one hand, but with the other
one put sing your mother or sabla or

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not quenal mia is not entertaining that
I catch you pouting with a friend the

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square of the city council of your
city and it doesn' t arrive and

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doesn' t call the mobile phone. Hey, Antonio, what time did

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we meet nine pussy, nine twenty. Where you' re already, you

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' re coming, you' re
coming, where you' re going,

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uh, where you' re going
next door. I' m sure tell

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me what to see You' re
looking at the miserable sign up there.

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Yeah, I can' t be
there for three years. You know that

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Nietá does not veniente the veniente pisero
friends, Veniente my girlfriend. Why,

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when we' re getting ready at
home to go out, why, when

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we ask ourselves if you' re
ready already, you say yes, that

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' s it, that you'
re not there anymore, yes or let

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' s come back. Wait till
you' re not jerking off, if

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you just told me it was done. It' s like that last action

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doesn' t count. I'
m gonna get, like, cry,

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shit half an hour that' s
not gonna tell. Hey, eat the

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last action and, well, I' m gonna get to watch football.

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Check out the Getafe football. Shoot
the virgin to die and we leave a

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chance there a shot out of the
first part the shit. I put you

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like this, everything goes to the
first part and the whole first part.

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I' m lying for a minute
and she' s coming Not that I

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' m here Wait till you get
a minute for the rest. Now that

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you put out the fire, shut
up, shut up, and go to

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love pot, don' t tell
him not to lie to me. We

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all lie all that, I mean, every day I' m glad when

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you' re not happy with that
about what' s going on in the

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street and all day. Oh,
I' m glad. I' m

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glad you noticed the black one in
the office. It' s turned me

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on, I' m glad you' re not glad you' re not

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so happy you didn' t touch
me I' m glad you didn'

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t. One Spaniard never rejoices that
he plays the other lauter and the scream.

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For all poor people, except for
me. If one Spaniard is happy

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when the other one' s doing
wrong, how are you doing? It

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' s twisting me into a tubillo. He' s left me He doesn

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' t see my job. Oh, I' m glad to hear that.

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There with a couple of huavos.
Not there, there, he shits

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you, there he tells you to
get your yaw eyes. By the way,

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if you rub the photoshop twice by
the tits, you' re retouching,

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not photoshop to go the same.
That has to be explained. They

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don' t lie, they burden
us and watch us from above. The

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state keeps an eye on each other
every day. That' s why there

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are inspectors of healing wealth to people
of the hour because they don' t

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think you' re going to do
it well and they' re right,

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because otherwise, this would be a
gurigay that I don' t look back

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on. I' m not talking
about an English tourist faggot approaching the coasts.

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No, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

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no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

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This was a dickhead. The state
doesn' t trust me. Okay,

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I take it, but why do
I have to trust him? Why don

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' t I get it. I
swear to God, look. I was

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just going to take the Madrid metro. I live Madrid, I was going

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to take the subway and just as
the races went down from Paris to the

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subway, I realized that I had
forgotten the East Metro voucher that there are

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ten trips, that you get more
profitable that you buy one by one and

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I say well, I will buy
another one that we are going to do

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Come, nothing happens. I arrive
at the box office and tell the taquiller

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a ten- travel bonus. Please, that was the only sentence in the

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conversation, because in fact it is
and did not speak very well there in

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Madrid. It costs twelve and twenty. I gave him fifty euros and two

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with twenty loose for what, so
that he would return the change here tied

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up that he would not escape I
know what I do with twenty nor looked

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at him. He made a huge
scorn of the box. Now he took

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the diet fifty euros and started like
this. Let' s see mm Let

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' s see this. Okay,
don' t trust me. Check loa

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is your job. Okay, don' t trust me. He doesn'

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t know if he' s a
jain boy He' s a barbender'

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s sobino. I don' t
know, you don' t know I

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understand. Let' s see.
The problem is, he' s gone

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through the deadline. We all know
there' s no time limit, but

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there' s a time limit already
when you start touching a little to the

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best. That and I looked at
the ticket and then I got blown up

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what I was doing. Just like
thinking about seeing if he' s gonna

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be the thief we' re looking
for in the neighborhood. In the end

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he decided that the ticket was true. I don' t know I don

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' t understand that. I don' t know if it was the waterboats.

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I got it. Diptedez decided it
was true. So you saw my

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travel day bonus. He put it
here and my return my forty euros in

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two twenty notes. He put it
here and I say well, it'

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s mine. Let' s see
this sales ticket. Why I can do

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that, why, of course I
should. Well, well, well,

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well, well. He laughed the
guy' s face was and told him

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what to fuck up. We should
do it. Everybody do it. Please

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put it into practice. Uncle had
a bad time and I was glad he

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had a bad time, because I' m so fucking sick of having a

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hard time. I often go around, drive around for a performance in Spain,

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and I swear to you, and
I saw myself thinking about me.

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Sometimes you seem point you don'
t have to suffer needlessly and it'

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s true this is over. Hey, that' s from suffering and need

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to fuck up. From now on, when he looks at him with a

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bisque, he looks at him with
an eye and a fucking not that I

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look at him and he looks at
an eye and my eye I say pussy,

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I know you, but pussy,
I say love, I look at

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him an eye, I say shit
peselo will be the other thing and I

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look at the other I say fucking
goodbye that he' s gonna realize that

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I' m there with a belly
shot that fucks what the problem is I

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hear you look at an eye and
it' s done and if you don

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' t go by swearing tengolo here
that you suffer that you do not?

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What' s not? What'
s not? What' s not?

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What' s not? You'
re done, aren' t you?

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What' s not? And I' m not giving him two kisses.

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Even gay that I don' t
know him at all, it' s

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that he sweats my dick. I
know him that racist, but what a

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bunch, that bunch, that asks
not even gay or friendly. There'

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s always Christmas, you have to
give it a lot of satin my uncle

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come on man, come on that, come on that come on that'

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s because I' m family,
because it was. But you and who

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' s your chair in Madrid,
my village cousin. Oh, I'

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m gonna guide you because you'
ve been wanting to fuck with me for

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the weekend. It' s just
that I haven' t seen in Madrid,

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nor have I, Philippine, to
fuck it up Ah, I have

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a responsibility to my aunt. There
you see how his daughter is, which

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I haven' t asked for at
any time. You go alone to see

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the meadow, you see the bear
and the madroño and if they rape you

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to see you, I create the
town, the boves you put is that

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I' m sick of you I
don' t know. I' ll

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do it you didn' t say
it like that and I' ve told

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you usually how it' s going
to be. You' ve come pretty

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ho You' ve got a good
look today You' ve retouched yourself before

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you came. He' s come
to what he' s come with a

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pomba. I' m happy very
well, and the cuckoo you know is

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really happy, really. I'
m not lying, by the way,

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about Epistorius, that it has neither
feet nor head. You don' t

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know that one, listen carefully,
but you don' t know that it

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' s Pistorium who it is.
But I say she, she doesn'

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t know. There' s nothing
wrong with asking the Pistorio, the athlete

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who has no feet, who runs
with prosthetics and who has been prosecuted for

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allegedly killing his wife and has been
sealed as reckless homicide. It' s

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a plot that killed her for that
she has neither a foot nor a head

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for killing her good. There goes
oviar zero. If you don' t

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know something, you wonder no.
There' s not such a house here.

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They lie to us here, they
burden us, they don' t

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watch and they don' t manipulate
you every day. That' s what

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' s most upsetting me to be
manipulated by information manipulation. But pussy,

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freedom of information is very important in
our country, it is very important.

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But if you have your opinion,
don' t let yourself be manipulated.

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From what a newspaper says or a
talker, you have your opinion. Whatever

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it is, I don' t
care, but don' t let this

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be manipulated There' s a lot
of young people who don' t know.

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But for years, in the eighties
and nineties, they used to do

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the same survey as they do now. Or that they do, and at

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that time, as the main problem
for citizens. He always went out to

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ETA and that was a lie.
It never was. It was a serious

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problem, yes, but it wasn' t the first or the second.

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Before that, you were worried about
having the job, having access to health,

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your vacations, your extraordinarys, hooking
up with Marta, touching Marta'

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s zets and fucking Marta. I
don' t know what position this one

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was in, but I can guarantee
it was behind Marta. What' s

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more, if you couldn' t
fuck Marta. Your main concern was that

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someone else didn' t fuck Marta. Well, this, thanks to the

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crisis, doesn' t happen anymore. Now he knows the truth, because

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if we were not in crisis,
what would be the main problem for the

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citizens the independence of Catalonia, when
neither will I be but thanks to the

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crisis, that is the truth,
something good, Jones, he had to

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have in the crisis, because to
this face. It' s not a

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thing to take away my dream of
independence, either. I' m telling

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you the truth is, if I
tell you, I' m honest,

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I' m a little up to
my balls. The truth. Or you

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think my girlfriend' s coming and
she tells me David, I think they

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' re gonna make me one you' re the company. I say you

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keep quiet I' m watching Catalonia, Cójones, we give the beer.

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Come on, no, no,
no, no, and I' m

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against independence. I can say,
of course, I will. Not for,

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against why, because I just wouldn' t like it that simple.

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Uh, no, there' s
more, no, there' s more,

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there' s more, but I, I don' t like forcing

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people to be where they don'
t want to be. I don'

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t think that would be good and
everything would be worse and they wouldn'

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t put the gun in someone'
s head. But me, but I

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' m against it. I am
against it already, David, is that

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many people ayá in Catalonia, who
hates Spain and hates You look, as

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he said of the Gilipollas forest,
there are everywhere, but there are in

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Catalonia, in Madrid and in Jain
but hate is the problem in which you

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do not have to fall. I
know it' s not easy. It

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' s not easy because they manipulate
you every day on one side and on

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the other to hate you. But
you can handle it and we will be

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proud of You you can do it, because those who hate Spain look a

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lot like my colleague José Ignacio Jogignacio
is very Spanish, eh my school Jolin

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is born to ne que diputa mother, but it doesn' t look much

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like the other, but what defends
to hatred if it seems enough. He

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gets home and he was always with
the PSP there playing around moving the TV

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dio josé, what are you doing
here watching the shit they' ll shit

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all that was always the fucking flag
of shit, yo, josé, easy

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fuck what' s wrong with you
sticking the flag in. I mean good,

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like the Asturians who start with the
flag everywhere, it' s okay,

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not to be a fucking squeaky whore. I don' t think there

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' s any more nasty hydra,
but at least you' ve seen yourself.

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You' ve seen the boat'
s second gear. Yes, if

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I' ve seen her, yes, no, like the one in Valencia

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that has been ringing her for more
years, she even has it. Yeah,

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it looks like shit to me,
to get a petted by the pole,

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but at least you don' t
have it. I don' t

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know what independence is, like the
Catalans. Well, in the pay under

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Tenmé there are people who love her, but such is shit. But,

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José, José, this step isn' t going to be alone, man,

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I' m not going to be
alone, because I' m going

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to Fosa Marta, too, who
knows better. But Joseph, oh listen

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to me today you don' t
have to say here. Now comes Marta,

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Jose, because it' s my
obvious. Jose, she' s

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00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:53.120
not your girlfriend, but she will
be. You didn' t spy on

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00:16:53.159 --> 00:16:56.960
him again with the binoculars. He
put her on top of it. That

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00:16:56.000 --> 00:17:00.840
' s what I do I'
m Catholic and Spanish I' m very

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00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:03.680
proud of you. I' m
not, because I' m with two

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balls, but like them, the
Catalans aren' t from their land,

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they haven' t been Spanish.
Ah, well, I know I didn

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' t know what you' d
get like, man It was a question

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00:17:18.680 --> 00:17:25.000
of the vineyards in your cellar,
whose family they belong to. They thought

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00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:27.880
they were from the Spanish state.
Those aren' t my parents' and

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00:17:27.920 --> 00:17:30.640
they' re already mine. So
your thing, it' s yours,

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but the Catalans are state- owned
That' s okay I knew it,

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I know Keep living with your parents. You' ve already begged your independent

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as well as what he said.
You know that other fucking beach you know

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of course, bro was bron I
don' t swear to you, but

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it wasn' t time for a
joke. It was a joke, José

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Po, you' re fucking with
me, man, because I don'

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t care here. I' m
just going to ask you a question about

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00:17:56.960 --> 00:18:06.319
the Huilla which you prefer that Catalonia
never be independent or fuck marta. I

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00:18:06.440 --> 00:18:10.599
don' t like that question to
see. I believe, I sincerely believe,

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that Jo Gignacio also cares more about
marta. I think and I'

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m not a comedian. I know
it' s very much in Spain,

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very well known. I don'
t help Jomi or any good source.

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00:18:23.599 --> 00:18:26.680
I' d like to, but
I' m telling you one less thing

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00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:34.720
that I' m no less bad
because if I were tomorrow, the headline

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00:18:36.359 --> 00:18:38.680
of the reason would be David Navarro
in favor of Catalonia' s dependence.

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When I didn' t say that
information manipulation. That' s what I

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00:18:44.400 --> 00:18:47.279
mean, you give your opinion whatever
it is, but you don' t

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00:18:47.279 --> 00:18:49.160
let yourself be manipulated. In fact, he wouldn' t keep the paper

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00:18:49.160 --> 00:18:52.000
there. The next day, the
Vinda mud A fa voice of ETA,

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00:18:52.559 --> 00:18:56.400
from what I say, I think
you also say Navarro is of eta fuck,

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00:18:56.920 --> 00:18:59.960
watch Vina varro attentive with a coast
for everything. Makes virgin awning leave,

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00:19:00.160 --> 00:19:03.160
motherfucking daughter. I would, there
would, you' d done it

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00:19:03.160 --> 00:19:07.559
for what. Because manipulating is very
easy, as it has two fingers in

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00:19:07.799 --> 00:19:12.240
front of it and that holder of
reason, would generate a hatred against me,

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00:19:12.640 --> 00:19:17.079
against my person, of people that
I hit above, look at morfor

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of dependence, it will strike to
manipulate. It' s very easy,

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00:19:22.319 --> 00:19:26.920
very easy. In fact, if
we were to make a summary, if

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I were to come here in my
information and make a summary of what I

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00:19:33.640 --> 00:19:41.759
saw here tonight, then I could
say perfectly good night. We greet her

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00:19:41.799 --> 00:19:45.400
from the Astoria Club of the Condal
City, where we have attended exclusively the

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00:19:45.440 --> 00:19:49.039
last monologue of David Navarro, before
some fifteen people of public, according to

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00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:55.720
the delegation of the Government, five
according to us, showing his unconditional support

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00:19:55.759 --> 00:20:00.160
to the independence of Catalonia, the
ginese artist has uttered racist insults a disc

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00:20:00.400 --> 00:20:06.160
that has refused to give him two
kisses and has enlisted all the Madriders to

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00:20:06.200 --> 00:20:17.920
whom violin to his cousin that of
the people in the field, in the

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00:20:17.920 --> 00:20:21.000
personal sphere. His most alleged people
define him as a person who burdened his

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00:20:21.000 --> 00:20:25.440
girlfriend as much as possible to make
up as quickly as possible in the face

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00:20:25.559 --> 00:20:30.519
of death threats, since he is
related to the terrorist bada ETA and certain

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00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:33.720
rumors point to who at any time
you to attack with a molotov car you

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00:20:33.799 --> 00:20:38.319
become still extra virgin of jaén jaén, so I would send you with eye,

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Miss Marta, the Astoria Club of
Barcelona for comedy Central. Good night

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00:20:45.039 --> 00:20:52.960
and a nid to your tom te