April 9, 2024
Danny boy rivera- 3
WEBVTT
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Comedy Central Podcast. How we are. I' m Danico and Rivera,
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00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:25.000
I' m Galician. It'
s no weather luck. You have here
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00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:29.800
impressive uncle. In Galicia we do
not conceive temperatures above thirty- five degrees,
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00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:31.760
that is, the other day a
colleague from Cordoba calls me. They
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00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:33.119
call me no other. You'
re gonna believe it. Dani, we
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' re at 45 degrees. I
didn' t even think I could be
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talking about temperature degrees. I thought
they' d be very inclined Hostia.
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Yes, that' s how this
art is to ask me why Galicia has
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00:00:45.399 --> 00:00:47.560
so much drug trafficking. It'
s the last time I say it,
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00:00:47.719 --> 00:00:52.280
because there' s nothing like Galician
character to survive an interrogation by the Civil
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00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:56.560
Guard. Take your information out to
a man who takes a different one out
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of every question. You know what
I mean. You know this man,
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you know, you know what you
mean by knowing and you don' t
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get any more uncle. That'
s how we Galicians are. Forbidding drugs
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is forbidding the poor to go on
vacation. It doesn' t say drugs
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are bad. It' s also
bad smoke when your cars go from Madrid
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to Valencia, uh, it'
s all a fucking caravan. It'
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s bad, it' s smoke, because there are people who want to
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go on vacation, they don'
t have a car and they make a
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different smoke, because less harmful,
more fun and I can assure you that
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more people die traveling by car than
traveling in their living room. This fact
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is true. There' s no
documented case of someone dying of marijuana overdose.
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I guess because you' re fucking
asleep first. You know, you
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' d have to smoke a lot
of joints and put a lot of alarms
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on the alarm clock. Yeah,
man, the other day I was reading
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about a girl, an English girl, man, Jemman Mos, keep this
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name. Jemmams thirty- one years, the first candidate to die of marijuana
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overdose. Jemman Mos' acquaintances said
she smoked half a joint a day.
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I didn' t understand anything ur
until I saw the images. You have
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to see that half porroti there were
whole eggs and just crapped inside that half
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joint. You know so it'
s not worth it I feel isolated case.
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Marijuana remains the safest means of transportation
in the world. It' s
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worth ironically. They don' t
let you smoke, they don' t
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let you drive. I don'
t know if I knew this fact.
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You go to a drug control and
you can give positive marijuana 24 hours after
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you' ve smoked. I mean, marijuana THC stays longer in the body
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than heroin. That means you could
give this case. Hey, Juan Juan
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Wake up, man that the one
who just remembered that I smoked half a
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joint in the morning that you'
re going to have to drive, don
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' t worry about this one not
a coconut. I pricked myself three hours
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ago bad was balls how you smoke
half a hairy joint you' re crazy.
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You haven' t seen what happened
to the English girl. Impressive.
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Man, no one cares about the
poor, not those who care about them
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00:03:28.439 --> 00:03:32.840
worry badly. An example Antonio Abad, creator of the technology platform Mega Fun
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00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:39.960
Net aimed at people at risk of
social exclusion sharing video image files. That
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00:03:40.759 --> 00:03:44.039
' s a very good idea,
Antonio. If it wasn' t for
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00:03:44.039 --> 00:03:47.520
people who are at risk of social
exclusion don' t have the Internet,
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what' s your next project,
Antonio, you' re going to organize
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a coup tournament in Damascus for Syrian
refugees to improve their swings. Those are
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your plans. Juan doesn' t
like sports, but now I have a
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kid. When you have a kid, you have a new superpower to pretend
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00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:11.319
interest suy a dro. For example, another day I was in my room
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jerking off suddenly calls me the kid
Dad, Dad Frené, Frené who can
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give you a stroke Salgo running with
the blue eggs I enter in the living
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room and see my son playing the
UI look Dad I am champion of the
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Cup Caparazon with great trupa cup.
Diego, I' m going to my
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room to get the champions' flag. It' s been 15 minutes and
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he doesn' t want another child
anymore. Carloca uncle not another. Now
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it' s no longer worth it. They' re for life, man,
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it' s not independence anymore.
I' ve seen cradles in Ika
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that set zero forty years. They' re fucking making you a marriage crib.
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There' s no bun oven.
Not the bird is the fastest train
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in the world and point, there' s no magnet train in China that
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' s faster, but it doesn' t touch the ground. If you
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don' t touch the ground,
it' s not a fucking train.
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It' s a semantic issue.
It is as if now we build a
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highway from here Barcelona to Madrid,
we put a plane flying low and say
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that we have the fastest bus in
the world, but that it does not
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touch the ground, not the alsan
magneto missile not that lame. The truth
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is, I' m an atheist, not because I chose him. My
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parents washed my head when I was
little. I' d like to be
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a believer, dude I miss having
faith Dude Any religion would have been worth
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less Jewish Don' t get me
wrong. It' s nothing racial,
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but I don' t trust people
who have very bad luck. Both Russians
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have very bad luck. Not always
surrounded by tragedies. They didn' t
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do anything. They don' t
remind me a little bit like Mariana Rajoy
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and Esperanza Guirde, not always surrounded
by corrupt people. The good people they
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00:06:01.839 --> 00:06:05.800
are. Not me, because they
saved themselves from the helicopter, not,
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but I' d say they'
re Jews Look at the bad luck of
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those people. I found a website
where they recount all the corruption cases that
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have occurred in the history of democracy. Evidently, since I don' t
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have DSL, I couldn' t
see it and went to another website where
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they put a recount of corruption cases
that have occurred in this legislature. There
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goes the data PP one hundred and
seventy- seven cases of corruption, weighed
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the one hundred and twenty- eight
converged Junion, fourteen PNV, thirteen United
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Left, eight fuck, if it
is the seats that are giving them the
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polls of the FIS. You know
what I mean. It' s the
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demonstration that people like to vote for
those who steal is not how that'
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s why the United Left is getting
their hands on Auntie Hostia with eight cases
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of corruption. We' re not
gonna rule in our fucking life. It
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00:07:03.480 --> 00:07:09.920
makes the ego of the human being
respect and rome. It' s like
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00:07:09.920 --> 00:07:14.319
every time we make a movie,
think about this about aliens, whenever they
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come down they talk to us,
that' s to say they really believe
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a being who' s able to
cross the whole universe. It' s
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good to come here what an intellectual
quotient has nine thousand ninety zero. You
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think you' re going to see
a difference between the intelligence of a human
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and any other animal. I'
ll put it on another phone. Imagine
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what it' s worth to you. Imagine that it takes you a planet
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where there are only ilubin salmon who
you' d talk to first and fucking
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idea truth you still talk to a
salmon and you' re disrespecting the bass,
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but you have the fucking idea,
because why it blows you. And
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that' s what I think would
happen if they come and blow it to
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us, the trees blow it to
us, they' re not living beings
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like us and we rip them off
to make Christmas ornaments, what they'
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re going to suffer, they'
re not trees. That' s what
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we deserve, that aliens come with
a single mission, use us as Christmas
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ornaments, and that' s the
end of the human being. In balls,
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00:08:01.240 --> 00:08:05.480
in the corner of the living room, of a Vulcanian with two colored
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00:08:05.480 --> 00:08:07.360
balls, hanging from the eggs and
in front a guy saying what they will
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00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:11.480
suffer. Fuck, they' re
just human,' cause I got a
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00:08:11.480 --> 00:08:22.519
plastic one. Pacma' s Martian
plays balls. Even the word alien is
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00:08:22.519 --> 00:08:26.439
already offensive. Perse extra uncle to
you. I' d like you guys
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to call you extra- Vulcanians.
For example. No one imagines this is
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00:08:31.560 --> 00:08:35.960
another side. No one imagines believing
aliens. True, we assume that they
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00:08:35.960 --> 00:08:37.399
are atheists, that is, there
was never a news in the fourth millennium
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00:08:37.440 --> 00:08:43.600
of a guy saying that I am
abtujero to me they made me the first
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00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:48.440
Communion. That never happens. No, yeah, they' re always like
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00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:52.559
scientific experiments that have to do with
the ass It' s okay, and
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00:08:52.559 --> 00:08:54.440
I didn' t do the first
Communion. But that' s not the
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00:08:54.440 --> 00:09:03.200
first Communion. Dude, that'
s before in pop parish or. But
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00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:05.799
we do need to. We don' t need to believe in things.
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00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:09.519
We don' t always need like
a demigod not to tell us more or
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00:09:09.519 --> 00:09:15.600
less. How to behave, no, how to behave, how to do
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00:09:15.639 --> 00:09:16.519
Jesus Christ was not even the first, it will not be the last,
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00:09:18.360 --> 00:09:22.080
that no one will miss if in
two thousand years we see a man saying
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00:09:22.120 --> 00:09:26.600
then I do not like that my
wife wear those measures, because Superman would
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00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:31.919
not see it well, not and
hold that at Christmas the gifts bring them
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00:09:31.919 --> 00:09:33.399
the fantastic four unless you behave badly. Then Magneto comes in and they give
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00:09:33.480 --> 00:09:37.399
you some bracquets and fuck off.
No, because that' s what it
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00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:39.960
' s all about, not making
up moves. Before I leave here,
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00:09:39.279 --> 00:09:43.240
I want to send a message to
a lot of people here right now who
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00:09:43.639 --> 00:09:46.639
are having a hard time and don' t have to have a hard time.
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00:09:48.759 --> 00:09:54.080
I' m talking about all those
who have been unfaithful to your partner
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00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:58.240
and feel like your ass, because
you haven' t told each other you
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00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:05.240
can raise your hand. No,
we won' t, like there'
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00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:09.840
s no one here in that situation
and hating me I' m not gonna
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00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:11.399
tell you the truth. It'
s okay for you to stay calm,
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00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:13.080
so tonight you' ll sleep with
each other and say it' s okay.
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00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:18.440
I' ll tell you the truth. Faithfulness is bullshit. Jesus Christ
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00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:26.039
said it how you stay put it
in the fucking Bible. Uncle killed five
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00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:33.919
twenty- seven Bar twenty- eight
and I say literally you heard what they
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00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:41.559
said. You will not commit adultery. I, however, love jc however,
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00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.960
I, however, tell you that
everyone who looks at a woman greedy
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00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:58.080
for her has already committed adultery in
his heart with her, for look male.
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00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:01.799
If I' ve already screwed up
thinking about it, I' ll
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00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:11.759
fuck her up. I want to
go if you think about it, if
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00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:13.519
the sins of thought are worth the
same as the sins of action? The
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00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:18.879
sins of action are not going to
make a difference in global computation, so
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00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:22.799
since we' ve screwed up so
much throughout our lives. Well, cór
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00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:24.480
is now having a good time and
fucking wo.
1
00:00:02.120 --> 00:00:22.199
Comedy Central Podcast. How we are. I' m Danico and Rivera,
2
00:00:22.559 --> 00:00:25.000
I' m Galician. It'
s no weather luck. You have here
3
00:00:26.000 --> 00:00:29.800
impressive uncle. In Galicia we do
not conceive temperatures above thirty- five degrees,
4
00:00:30.239 --> 00:00:31.760
that is, the other day a
colleague from Cordoba calls me. They
5
00:00:31.800 --> 00:00:33.119
call me no other. You'
re gonna believe it. Dani, we
6
00:00:33.119 --> 00:00:36.000
' re at 45 degrees. I
didn' t even think I could be
7
00:00:36.039 --> 00:00:41.200
talking about temperature degrees. I thought
they' d be very inclined Hostia.
8
00:00:41.560 --> 00:00:45.320
Yes, that' s how this
art is to ask me why Galicia has
9
00:00:45.399 --> 00:00:47.560
so much drug trafficking. It'
s the last time I say it,
10
00:00:47.719 --> 00:00:52.280
because there' s nothing like Galician
character to survive an interrogation by the Civil
11
00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:56.560
Guard. Take your information out to
a man who takes a different one out
12
00:00:56.640 --> 00:01:04.959
of every question. You know what
I mean. You know this man,
13
00:01:06.359 --> 00:01:11.400
you know, you know what you
mean by knowing and you don' t
14
00:01:11.400 --> 00:01:15.439
get any more uncle. That'
s how we Galicians are. Forbidding drugs
15
00:01:15.519 --> 00:01:23.879
is forbidding the poor to go on
vacation. It doesn' t say drugs
16
00:01:23.879 --> 00:01:26.359
are bad. It' s also
bad smoke when your cars go from Madrid
17
00:01:26.359 --> 00:01:29.159
to Valencia, uh, it'
s all a fucking caravan. It'
18
00:01:29.159 --> 00:01:30.640
s bad, it' s smoke, because there are people who want to
19
00:01:30.719 --> 00:01:37.079
go on vacation, they don'
t have a car and they make a
20
00:01:37.200 --> 00:01:41.319
different smoke, because less harmful,
more fun and I can assure you that
21
00:01:41.319 --> 00:01:42.519
more people die traveling by car than
traveling in their living room. This fact
22
00:01:42.599 --> 00:01:48.159
is true. There' s no
documented case of someone dying of marijuana overdose.
23
00:01:49.799 --> 00:01:53.680
I guess because you' re fucking
asleep first. You know, you
24
00:01:53.760 --> 00:02:01.719
' d have to smoke a lot
of joints and put a lot of alarms
25
00:02:01.719 --> 00:02:06.200
on the alarm clock. Yeah,
man, the other day I was reading
26
00:02:06.239 --> 00:02:07.879
about a girl, an English girl, man, Jemman Mos, keep this
27
00:02:07.879 --> 00:02:13.840
name. Jemmams thirty- one years, the first candidate to die of marijuana
28
00:02:13.919 --> 00:02:20.039
overdose. Jemman Mos' acquaintances said
she smoked half a joint a day.
29
00:02:22.000 --> 00:02:23.520
I didn' t understand anything ur
until I saw the images. You have
30
00:02:23.560 --> 00:02:29.639
to see that half porroti there were
whole eggs and just crapped inside that half
31
00:02:29.639 --> 00:02:31.719
joint. You know so it'
s not worth it I feel isolated case.
32
00:02:31.879 --> 00:02:38.520
Marijuana remains the safest means of transportation
in the world. It' s
33
00:02:38.520 --> 00:02:39.719
worth ironically. They don' t
let you smoke, they don' t
34
00:02:39.719 --> 00:02:42.280
let you drive. I don'
t know if I knew this fact.
35
00:02:42.560 --> 00:02:46.520
You go to a drug control and
you can give positive marijuana 24 hours after
36
00:02:46.560 --> 00:02:50.919
you' ve smoked. I mean, marijuana THC stays longer in the body
37
00:02:50.960 --> 00:02:58.800
than heroin. That means you could
give this case. Hey, Juan Juan
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00:02:58.840 --> 00:03:01.080
Wake up, man that the one
who just remembered that I smoked half a
39
00:03:01.120 --> 00:03:06.319
joint in the morning that you'
re going to have to drive, don
40
00:03:06.360 --> 00:03:08.080
' t worry about this one not
a coconut. I pricked myself three hours
41
00:03:08.199 --> 00:03:13.479
ago bad was balls how you smoke
half a hairy joint you' re crazy.
42
00:03:20.000 --> 00:03:25.000
You haven' t seen what happened
to the English girl. Impressive.
43
00:03:25.080 --> 00:03:28.360
Man, no one cares about the
poor, not those who care about them
44
00:03:28.439 --> 00:03:32.840
worry badly. An example Antonio Abad, creator of the technology platform Mega Fun
45
00:03:34.000 --> 00:03:39.960
Net aimed at people at risk of
social exclusion sharing video image files. That
46
00:03:40.759 --> 00:03:44.039
' s a very good idea,
Antonio. If it wasn' t for
47
00:03:44.039 --> 00:03:47.520
people who are at risk of social
exclusion don' t have the Internet,
48
00:03:47.960 --> 00:03:53.039
what' s your next project,
Antonio, you' re going to organize
49
00:03:53.080 --> 00:03:58.080
a coup tournament in Damascus for Syrian
refugees to improve their swings. Those are
50
00:03:58.120 --> 00:04:03.360
your plans. Juan doesn' t
like sports, but now I have a
51
00:04:03.439 --> 00:04:09.240
kid. When you have a kid, you have a new superpower to pretend
52
00:04:09.280 --> 00:04:11.319
interest suy a dro. For example, another day I was in my room
53
00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:17.000
jerking off suddenly calls me the kid
Dad, Dad Frené, Frené who can
54
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:24.319
give you a stroke Salgo running with
the blue eggs I enter in the living
55
00:04:24.439 --> 00:04:27.720
room and see my son playing the
UI look Dad I am champion of the
56
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Cup Caparazon with great trupa cup.
Diego, I' m going to my
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room to get the champions' flag. It' s been 15 minutes and
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he doesn' t want another child
anymore. Carloca uncle not another. Now
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it' s no longer worth it. They' re for life, man,
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it' s not independence anymore.
I' ve seen cradles in Ika
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that set zero forty years. They' re fucking making you a marriage crib.
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There' s no bun oven.
Not the bird is the fastest train
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in the world and point, there' s no magnet train in China that
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' s faster, but it doesn' t touch the ground. If you
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don' t touch the ground,
it' s not a fucking train.
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It' s a semantic issue.
It is as if now we build a
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highway from here Barcelona to Madrid,
we put a plane flying low and say
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that we have the fastest bus in
the world, but that it does not
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touch the ground, not the alsan
magneto missile not that lame. The truth
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is, I' m an atheist, not because I chose him. My
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parents washed my head when I was
little. I' d like to be
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a believer, dude I miss having
faith Dude Any religion would have been worth
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less Jewish Don' t get me
wrong. It' s nothing racial,
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but I don' t trust people
who have very bad luck. Both Russians
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have very bad luck. Not always
surrounded by tragedies. They didn' t
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do anything. They don' t
remind me a little bit like Mariana Rajoy
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and Esperanza Guirde, not always surrounded
by corrupt people. The good people they
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are. Not me, because they
saved themselves from the helicopter, not,
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but I' d say they'
re Jews Look at the bad luck of
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those people. I found a website
where they recount all the corruption cases that
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have occurred in the history of democracy. Evidently, since I don' t
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have DSL, I couldn' t
see it and went to another website where
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they put a recount of corruption cases
that have occurred in this legislature. There
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goes the data PP one hundred and
seventy- seven cases of corruption, weighed
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the one hundred and twenty- eight
converged Junion, fourteen PNV, thirteen United
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Left, eight fuck, if it
is the seats that are giving them the
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polls of the FIS. You know
what I mean. It' s the
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demonstration that people like to vote for
those who steal is not how that'
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s why the United Left is getting
their hands on Auntie Hostia with eight cases
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of corruption. We' re not
gonna rule in our fucking life. It
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makes the ego of the human being
respect and rome. It' s like
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every time we make a movie,
think about this about aliens, whenever they
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come down they talk to us,
that' s to say they really believe
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a being who' s able to
cross the whole universe. It' s
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good to come here what an intellectual
quotient has nine thousand ninety zero. You
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think you' re going to see
a difference between the intelligence of a human
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and any other animal. I'
ll put it on another phone. Imagine
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what it' s worth to you. Imagine that it takes you a planet
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where there are only ilubin salmon who
you' d talk to first and fucking
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idea truth you still talk to a
salmon and you' re disrespecting the bass,
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but you have the fucking idea,
because why it blows you. And
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that' s what I think would
happen if they come and blow it to
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us, the trees blow it to
us, they' re not living beings
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like us and we rip them off
to make Christmas ornaments, what they'
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re going to suffer, they'
re not trees. That' s what
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we deserve, that aliens come with
a single mission, use us as Christmas
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ornaments, and that' s the
end of the human being. In balls,
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in the corner of the living room, of a Vulcanian with two colored
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balls, hanging from the eggs and
in front a guy saying what they will
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suffer. Fuck, they' re
just human,' cause I got a
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plastic one. Pacma' s Martian
plays balls. Even the word alien is
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already offensive. Perse extra uncle to
you. I' d like you guys
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to call you extra- Vulcanians.
For example. No one imagines this is
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another side. No one imagines believing
aliens. True, we assume that they
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are atheists, that is, there
was never a news in the fourth millennium
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of a guy saying that I am
abtujero to me they made me the first
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00:08:43.600 --> 00:08:48.440
Communion. That never happens. No, yeah, they' re always like
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scientific experiments that have to do with
the ass It' s okay, and
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I didn' t do the first
Communion. But that' s not the
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first Communion. Dude, that'
s before in pop parish or. But
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00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:05.799
we do need to. We don' t need to believe in things.
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00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:09.519
We don' t always need like
a demigod not to tell us more or
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less. How to behave, no, how to behave, how to do
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Jesus Christ was not even the first, it will not be the last,
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that no one will miss if in
two thousand years we see a man saying
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then I do not like that my
wife wear those measures, because Superman would
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00:09:26.600 --> 00:09:31.919
not see it well, not and
hold that at Christmas the gifts bring them
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the fantastic four unless you behave badly. Then Magneto comes in and they give
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00:09:33.480 --> 00:09:37.399
you some bracquets and fuck off.
No, because that' s what it
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00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:39.960
' s all about, not making
up moves. Before I leave here,
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I want to send a message to
a lot of people here right now who
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are having a hard time and don' t have to have a hard time.
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I' m talking about all those
who have been unfaithful to your partner
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and feel like your ass, because
you haven' t told each other you
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00:09:58.240 --> 00:10:05.240
can raise your hand. No,
we won' t, like there'
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00:10:05.279 --> 00:10:09.840
s no one here in that situation
and hating me I' m not gonna
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00:10:09.840 --> 00:10:11.399
tell you the truth. It'
s okay for you to stay calm,
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00:10:11.639 --> 00:10:13.080
so tonight you' ll sleep with
each other and say it' s okay.
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00:10:13.440 --> 00:10:18.440
I' ll tell you the truth. Faithfulness is bullshit. Jesus Christ
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00:10:18.799 --> 00:10:26.039
said it how you stay put it
in the fucking Bible. Uncle killed five
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00:10:26.600 --> 00:10:33.919
twenty- seven Bar twenty- eight
and I say literally you heard what they
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00:10:33.919 --> 00:10:41.559
said. You will not commit adultery. I, however, love jc however,
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00:10:43.240 --> 00:10:46.960
I, however, tell you that
everyone who looks at a woman greedy
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00:10:48.039 --> 00:10:58.080
for her has already committed adultery in
his heart with her, for look male.
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00:10:58.240 --> 00:11:01.799
If I' ve already screwed up
thinking about it, I' ll
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00:11:01.799 --> 00:11:11.759
fuck her up. I want to
go if you think about it, if
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00:11:11.879 --> 00:11:13.519
the sins of thought are worth the
same as the sins of action? The
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00:11:13.559 --> 00:11:18.879
sins of action are not going to
make a difference in global computation, so
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00:11:18.879 --> 00:11:22.799
since we' ve screwed up so
much throughout our lives. Well, cór
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00:11:22.879 --> 00:11:24.480
is now having a good time and
fucking wo.
