Danny Boy - Gallegos

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Comedy Central Podcast. How we are. I' m Daniboy Rivera, I

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' m Galician. It' s
no weather luck. You' ve got

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this awesome guy here. In Galicia
we do not conceive temperatures above thirty-

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five degrees, that is, the
other day a colleague from Cordoba calls me.

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They tell me no other you'
ll believe, Dani we' re

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forty- five degrees away. I
didn' t even think I could be

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talking about temperature degrees. I thought
they' d be very inclined Hostia.

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Yes, that' s how this
art is to ask me why in Galicia

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and so much drug trafficking. It' s the last time I say it,

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because there' s nothing like Galician
character to survive an interrogation by the

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Civil Guard. You know what I
mean. You know this man, you

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know what you mean by knowing and
you don' t get any more uncle.

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That' s how we Galicians are. Forbidding drugs is forbidding the poor

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to go on vacation. It doesn' t say drugs are bad. It

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' s also bad smoke when your
cars go from Madrid to Valencia, uh,

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they' re all a fucking caravan. It' s bad, it

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' s smoke, because there are
people who want to go on vacation,

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they don' t have a car
and they make a different smoke, because

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less harmful, more fun and I
can assure you that more people die traveling

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by car than traveling in their living
room. This fact is true. There

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' s no documented case of someone
dying of marijuana overdose. I guess because

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you' re fucking asleep first.
You know, you' d have to

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smoke a lot of joints and put
a lot of alarms on the alarm clock.

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Yeah, man, the other day
I was reading about a girl,

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an English girl, man, Jemman
Mos, we got this name. Jemma

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Ms thirty- one years, the
first candidate to die of marijuana overdose.

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Jemman Mos' acquaintances said she smoked
half a joint a day. I didn

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' t understand anything until I saw
the pictures. You have to see that

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half joint. Dude, there were
whole eggs just shitting inside that joint.

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You know so it' s not
worth it I feel isolated case. Marijuana

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remains the safest means of transportation in
the world. It' s worth ironically.

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They don' t let you smoke, they don' t let you

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drive. I don' t know
if I know this fact You go to

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a drug control and you can give
positive marijuana 24 hours after you' ve

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smoked, that is, the THC
of marijuana, but it stays in the

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body longer than heroin. That means
you could give this case. Hey Juan,

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Juan wakes up, man that I
just remembered that I smoked half a

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joint in the morning that you'
re gonna have to drive. Don'

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t worry about it. This isn' t a coconut. I pricked myself

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three hours ago It was fucking how
you smoke half a joint. Teño,

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you' re crazy. You haven' t seen what happened to the English

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girl. Impressive. Man, no
one cares about the poor, not those

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who care about them worry badly.
An example Antonio Abad, creator of the

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MEGA technology platform was a net intended
for people at risk of social exclusion to

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share video image files. That'
s a very good idea, Antonio.

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If it wasn' t for people
who are at risk of social exclusion don

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' t have the Internet, what' s your next project, Antonio,

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you' re going to organize a
coup tournament in Damascus for Syrian refugees to

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improve their swings. Those are his
Arpono plans. I don' t like

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sports, but now I have a
kid. When you have a child,

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you have a new superpower pretending interest
suy a dro an example. Another day

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I was in my room jerking off
all of a sudden dad' s kid

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calls me Dad, dad braked Frené
who can give you a stroke I run

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out with blue eggs into the living
room and I see my son playing it

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Ui look dad I' m champion
of the Copa Caparazon with great trupa cup.

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Diego, I' m going to
my room to get the champions'

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flag. It took me 15 minutes
and she doesn' t want to have

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another child. Carloca uncle not another. Now it' s no longer worth

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it. They' re for life, man It' s not independence anymore.

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I' ve seen cradles in Ika
that set zero forty years. They

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' re making you cribs of marriage. Fuck. There' s no bun

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oven. Not the bird is the
fastest train in the world and point,

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there' s no magno totren in
China that' s faster, but it

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doesn' t touch the ground.
If you don' t touch the ground,

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it' s not a fucking train. It' s a semantic issue.

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It is as if now we build
a highway from here Barcelona to Madrid,

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we put a plane flying low and
say that we have the fastest bus

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in the world, but that it
does not touch the ground, not the

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alsan magneto missile that takes. The
truth is, I' m an atheist,

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not because I choose him. My
parents washed my head when I was

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little. I' d like to
be a believer, Uncle eight miss is

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to have faith uncle, any religion
would have been worth less Jewish don'

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t get me wrong. It'
s nothing racial, but I don'

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t trust people who have very bad
luck. Both jujos are very unlucky.

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Not always surrounded by tragedies. They
didn' t do anything, they don

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' t remind me a little,
like Mariana Rajoy and Esperanza Aguirre. Not

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always surrounded by corrupts with how good
people they are, not because they were

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saved from the helicopter, but if
I didn' t want them to be

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Jews look at the bad luck of
those people. I found a website where

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they recount all the corruption cases that
have occurred in the history of democracy.

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Evidently, since I don' t
have DSL, I couldn' t see

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it and went to another website where
they put a recount of corruption cases that

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have occurred in this legislature. There
goes PP data one hundred and seventy-

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seven corruption cases. It weighed one
hundred and twenty- eight converges and unites,

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fourteen GNP, thirteen united Left,
eight fuck, if it is the

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seats that are giving them the FIS
polls. You know what I mean.

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It' s the demonstration that people
like to vote for those who steal isn

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' t like that' s why
on the united left they' re putting

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up chicks wow say Hostia with eight
corruption cases. We' re not gonna

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rule in our fucking life. It
makes you respect. I go with the

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ego of the human being. It' s like every time we make a

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movie, think about this about aliens, whenever they come down they talk to

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us, that' s to say
they really believe a being who' s

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able to cross the whole universe.
It' s good to come here what

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an intellectual quotient has nine thousand ninety
zero. You think he' ll see

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the difference between the intelligence of a
human and any other animal. I'

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ll put it on another phone.
Imagine it' s worth it. Imagine

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that it takes you a planet where
there are only ilubin salmon who you'

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d talk to first and fucking idea
truth you still talk to a salmon and

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you' re disrespecting sea bass,
but you don' t have the fucking

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idea, because why it blows you. And that' s what I think

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would happen if they come and blow
it to us, the trees blow it

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to us, they' re not
living beings like us and we rip them

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off to make Christmas ornaments, what
they' re going to suffer, they

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' re not trees. That'
s what we deserve, that aliens come

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with a single mission, use us
as Christmas ornaments and that' s the

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end of the human being in balls, in the corner of the living room

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of a Vulcanian with two colored balls, hanging from the eggs and in front

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of a guy saying they' re
going to suffer. Fuck, they'

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re just human,' cause I
got a plastic one. Pacma' s

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Martian plays balls. Even the word
extraterrestrial is already offensive but I know,

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uncle, I' d like you
to call yourselves extra- Vulcanians. For

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example, no one imagines this is
another side. No one imagines believing aliens.

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True, we assume that they are
atheists, that, that is,

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there was never a news in the
fourth millennium of a guy saying they cut

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me off and made me the first
Communion. That never happens. No,

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yeah, they' re always like
scientific experiments that have to do with the

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ass It' s okay, and
I didn' t do the first Communion.

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But that' s not the first
Communion. Man, that' s

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before in the pop parish Oh.
But we do need to, we don

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' t need to believe in things. We don' t always need like

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a demigod not to tell us more
or less. How to behave, no,

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how to behave like Jesus Christ was
not even the first, it will

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not be the last. Let no
one be surprised if in two thousand years

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we see a gentleman saying then I
don' t like that my wife wears

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those measures, because Superman wouldn'
t see it well, no and hold

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on to the fact that at Christmas
the gifts bring them the fantastic four unless

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you behave badly. Then Magneto comes
in and they give you some bracquets and

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fuck off. No, because that' s what it' s all about,

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not making up moves. Before I
leave here, I want to send

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a message to a lot of people
here right now who are having a hard

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time and don' t have to
have a hard time. I' m

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talking about all those who have been
unfaithful to your partner and feel like your

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ass, because you haven' t
told each other, you can raise your

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hand. No, we' re
not gonna pretend there' s nothing here

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in that situation. And hating me, I' m not gonna tell you

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the truth. It' s okay
for you to stay calm, so tonight

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you' ll sleep with each other
and say it' s okay. I

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' ll tell you the truth.
Faithfulness is bullshit. Jesus Christ said it

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how you stay put it in the
fucking Bible. Uncle killed five twenty-

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seven Bar twenty- eight and I
say literally you heard what they said.

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You will not commit adultery. I, however, love jc however, I,

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however, tell you that everyone who
looks at a woman greedy for her

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has already committed adultery in his heart
with her, for look male. If

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I' ve already screwed up thinking
about it, I' ll fuck her

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up. I mean, if you
think about it, if the sins of

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thought are worth the same as the
sins of action. The sins of action

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are not going to make a difference
in global computation, so since we'

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ve screwed up so much throughout our
lives, how it is now to have

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fun and fuck wo