Alvaro Velasco - Moderno de mostoles

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Comedy Central Podcast fucking Mother. Thank
you, thank you, thank you,

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I amÁlvaro Verasco demostols. I
don' t presume it either. Twenty

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of my colleagues, comedians fuck a
lot and I say the good ones.

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Yeah, I eat shit. I
have a condom in my wallet that knows

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three Midna renovations and a royal anedot. Royal anedot. Strolling through Madrid appreciated

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street of an aunt I like mogojo, super pretty you cups, awesome.

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It was a hippie, it had
a sign that put a free hug.

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I went to talk to her and
she told me she wasn' t out

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of school. Very humiliating. I
wanted to have been a musician. The

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life of cool musicians, sex,
drugs and Latin electro that roll cool.

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How would it be normal for a
musician to wake up in the morning for

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a beer breakfast. Then cubatas,
then jager master, which is the best

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there is, because if you forget
the day before, you can fuck a

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conger, you raise your dick,
you don' t care, then cocaine,

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whores, then you take the drunk
car, you start to run over

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people. This in the People'
s Party is called company dinner. Now

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you can only succeed in music,
just like on TV. If they have

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giant tits put on TV. Who
wins now. Simon Pilar, Rubio,

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Carlos Gin what the fuck. Carlos
Gins is black, fat, Galician law.

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It' s like a lot of
minorities, in a single person it

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' s worth. If Carlos Jin
were a lesbian, the state would pay

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him directly to me. I like
American musicians high, well malnourished. You

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' ve seen what Jane Montana'
s name is Malisiirus all Disney girls eat

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dicks. Then, but I'
m cool because I see her and I

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say this cool aunt is flesh overdose
Carlos Gines. On the contrary, it

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' s an overdose of holy meat
and there' s shitty pitting names.

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That' s a disease. I' ve got a sling, stay home.

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You' re well- fucked second- hand car, that' s

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piting tools. I' m peeing
to fix the melendis. Sometimes I mess

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with people who have as much more
success than I do, and it'

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s because I' m a miserable
man I' m going to tell you

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the day I realized that the miserable
is in my house watching series online.

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This is cool, it' s
not free and it' s Barcelona.

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So you' re cool to see
if on the Internet you' re watching

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the typical cult series I was always
watching fellow kimvy with the always uncompromising valley

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bike. Nothing was too cold in
Madrid in August. I want it to

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come to you. The typical is
that you don' t see walking dead

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zombies that eat your head or a
Wolking can' t eat anyone' s

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head metaphorically. You know literally yes, I mean, the ones that get

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you shits are whores, these ars
ngs in the folders that I tell you

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is so they eat your head.
Some of these whores that come to you

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and tell you have a myth for
the environment, that is, they can

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also very good strips. If you
say a run- in I don'

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t have twenty pas parta to you
every month flute dog. You know recently

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I answered super bad some comes and
says you have a myth for me of

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atmosphere. I say you have a
minute to fuck my dick. Am I

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not educated? I' m not
educated. I felt super bad. I

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felt and that aunt told me the
nicest thing they' ve told me in

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a long time. He told me
a beautiful thing. He told me you

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' re a fucking son of a
bitch. There' s a miserable one

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and you' re gonna leave your
kids a shitty world. That aunt talked

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about my children. That chick assumed
I' d be late from here.

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I' m going to fuck at
least twice Hahahaha, I sign it,

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I sign it twice. Cachis the
good sea. I was watching series and

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I was eating fries and the fries
sounded a lot in my mouth. Okay,

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and I couldn' t watch TV
well because it sounded a lot like

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French fries in my mouth. He
has a sense of pleasure and guilt.

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At the same time, it'
s like when you get a stripe of

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gym jamming. Very similar to people. Who knows I' m on drugs

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because I talk a lot about drugs. I' m a monologue. I

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didn' t get high in my
life. You know why. I like

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it and it hooks me up.
It' s the same reason I'

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ve never eaten a dick. I
really like it. I' ve had

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them in my face and I'
ve never been hit. You know,

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daughter, I was watching the show. He' s eating fries and so

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and I felt like shit. I
feel bad and I have food. And

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there are people in Africa who don' t have food, who read up

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their asses and say fuck I'
m gonna be and not if racist it

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' s okay I' m racist. I' m from muskets, mustards.

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There are a lot of blacks in
kings and must we paint two blacks

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in low white. The fashion that
pisses me off the most is that of

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the ranners. Some of me'
s a ranner. There are ranners Runners.

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People who go out on the street
to run and that' s it.

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They put on a pair of two
hundred- dollar sneakers and they'

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re gonna run. It' s
just that I' ll run hooks,

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hooks the cocaine to run, tires
with maya. You can only go well

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if you' re a fucking superhero, what you look like is a bullfighter

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in a hurry. I' m
going to runner. If you say I

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' m going to run, I' m not going to make Ranner.

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They say I' m going to
run, I' m going to make

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Ranner, because I' m going
to make Ranner. In the face of

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your idiot girlfriend. These people are
the ones who tell you that if you

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take a cubata, it takes seven
minutes of your life, that if you

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leave a cigarette, it takes ten
minutes in life, that if you take

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fat. I should have died in
the 18th century. Directly, I don

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' t want to be the typical
monologuer everyone says is an idiot. I

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' m super cool because I'
m the king of idiots. It happens

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to me with the specks. I' m super- fashionable. I see

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a guy with a stick in his
head, I say asshole. I see

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four and I say the biggest,
most expensive. For me, Pogon is

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a one- to- one sticker
bitten and I say a thousand bucks.

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I' ll pay you. Example, Brain and Halloween. It' s

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not Halloween. I really like Halloween. There are people who say it'

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s not that I don' t
celebrate Halloween because it' s an American

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party and you celebrate Christmas because Jesus
Christ does. Or clearly getaphe that yes,

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do you believe in God, do
you believe in God? No,

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yeah, no balls. I respect
a lot of the people in God is

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worth because I respect a lot of
people with imaginary friends. I' m

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a non- agnostic atheist. Agnostic
isn' t that I don' t

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even think I stop believing you are. Bullshit is what you are in life.

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It is necessary to define beach or
mountain beings, of sound or of

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Selena. You have to choose the
guys we are, ass or tits.

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It' s not me that I' m expensive, you' re bouquets.

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Haha, I don' t understand. There are no believers or Catholics

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who believe in a fat God with
a valva, a father not of the

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flute dog and two who I least
understand are Muslims. I don' t

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know if there' s any Moors
and here or Muslim, I don'

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t understand Muslims. They want in
wing that is a merciful god, which

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is supposed to be of good roll. And now he' s a God

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who forbids pork and alcohol, a
God who forbids ham and cubatas. He

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' s not a God, he' s a dietitian. God, it

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' s not divine, it'
s an endo crino, the rabadán a

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month that you throw during the day
without drinking, smoking and fucking and at

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night you get up your ass.
I just call ibiza vacation of all God

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' s life and hurbible take away
that you' re on that God'

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s will be hell. I'
m thirty- one, and I'

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m fat- nofol myself. I
don' t have any money. He

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saw my parents. I can'
t go any further down. You know,

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I can say whatever comes out of
my dick. One r says you

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don' t think there' s
an energy and a force in every house

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that you can' t live on. It' s called WiFi. I

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' m gonna finish the monologue by
talking about love. The same, no,

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because I don' t usually talk
much about love, But in this

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monologue, if I have decided to
speak a little bit of love and I

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wasn' t very lucky and love
I' ve had girlfriends, but he

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' s not very lucky and now
I' ve been in love. I

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put in a website called Darlin.
I saw the TV and I said I

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' m worth the ad orc.
I make myself forward, but at first

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I scratched because it was for demanding
singles. I' m not picky,

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and the point is, I'
ve met a chick. I fall in

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love with her and she' s
so cool. She' s an aunt,

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she' s hot and she feels
like funny and cool people because we

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' ve gotten fucked friends, she
fucks. I' m his friend.

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Hahahahaha. I' m paying fantasies
to set up a factory in Nigeria.

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This factory I pay for is that
I have Christ one thing. I don

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' t know if I suppose you' ve come a lot of couples.

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I' ve written a few verses
about love and we rhyme either, but

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it' s like some intimate written
things are called love nine years late in

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finishing journalism, nor am I like
very shocked and written what I think a

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man has to do for guys in
the room understand this well, which has

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to make a name to make his
wife happy and that six happy and all

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these fucking shits. People who say
come and see, monologues are like love

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suckers, comedians, we make them
laugh you put them in, dick is

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our roll. It' s called
love. Let' s see if it

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' s cool with you, to
see to shame that you are many and

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this is like very intimate. I
believe that in order to be a neo

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- idea to which the joy of
the child has, at the strength of

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the man and the knowledge of the
elder, to be a friend, a

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companion, a brother, a lover
and a father, to be careful and

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ordered that you like the party,
but without passing by, not to forget

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the important dates, but to surprise
them, to import the date, to

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make her laugh but that I do
not know how to laugh at you to

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do all kinds of crazy and sufferings
like accompany her to a medieval market.

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There are more medieval markets now than
in the Middle Ages that charge you twenty

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arms for one who goes, it
is not medieval to be affectionate and hug

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her at night and you fall asleep
your arm and you can not take advantage

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to jerk off with the other because
of course she is and this very comfortable

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and you buy with her, but
enjoying the if agonizing that you go to

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buy you cross with another uncle.
Look at those eyes. We' re

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in the same shit. You and
I know ballad, you come in the

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afternoon to buy them a guy with
bags one day and you say it'

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s my fucking future. You know
how to be determined, reliable, respectful.

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Leal do it, compliment the messing, not look at other women being

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for it, but without passing by
and meeting them. You have to do

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all this, take into account your
family, pro without giving more importance than

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her being very man. Above all, don' t protest when the grains

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in your back are hot, because
it hurts, that is, it hurts

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and comes out pus and doesn'
t disgust you, that is? I

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mean, it comes out if I
don' t gas him and then,

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for whatever it is, you run
into his face and disgust him, because

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I get zero to be clean.
He' s set up handymen all this

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and what to do jor is a
good cook' s collazo. He did

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the bathroom in fontan hero and artist, hiker, driver, friend of his

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friends, but not of his friends
and less of her friend. The whore

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who just gets off every single one, she' s out there eating dicks

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like crazy. You know that one, that one, that one that you

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' re talking to her and looking
at you, since you' re not

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here. We' re just talking, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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00:10:41.200 --> 00:10:41.200
know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you

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know, That then psychologist, you
harapeta compression, that have educated her,

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make her feel special twenty- four
hours a day, three hundred sixty-

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five days a year, that this
doesn' t even open the English fucking

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court. Be kind to have initiatives
know, listen to good advice, solve

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problems, you score namely, recognize, mistakes, make decisions. That good

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host in having a sense of humor, generous, to be a worker of

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intelligent, to be attentive, to
be a fighter and when you get all

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this, you know what happens,
because she is burdened by a world of

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perfection and is hooked up with a
woman and a balcolic. Good evening,

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Mr Lo Rasco. Thank you very
much, Pamy Centra. Thank you,

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keep it.