Turisticidio

0:04 The tremendous borderline of the tremendous Court, at a public hearing, the tremendous judge of the tremendous Court is going to solve a tremendous case of eight to three years. Good evening, sir, and before we move on, there ' s a complaint signed by Dr Luis López Venero, a dentist, accusing an artist who took a bite out of him and wouldn' t pay for it. I know a mess here I' m aware of that. No, we don' t do anything, give her a hundred pesos of fines because that artist, he didn' t pull any tooth. No, well, sure, well, and how you guys do health, well, regular I feel very weak and very spoiled and that you are taking nothing for that, because you do very bad. Look, I' m going to put it on a plan that' s going to give it a wonderful result.

1:04 You will see yes in the morning, when you wake up if you fear twenty and drops of old age yes at noon, at lunch, three tablets of old phenol, you do not yes. And at night, before bedtime, four pictoresitas of boccan bull and it' s good, all magnificent. You will see that within three days of taking all that you feel as strong and as healthy as when you were fifty. I' m starting to make fifty pesos of a fine right now. Well, that' s right, stop giving me a prescription and tell me what case we have. The case is what you have to do. It' s okay, Mr Joe. What we have today is a guy who' s been accused of cheating on tourists. Then call the complicated in that tourist and quote immediately Mr Joe Luz, Maria Na Nanina here every day, Rudecinga, Caldeiro and Escoviña, José Candelario, three Papines, Ala, let' s see who the accused is without shame that of three skates, sir who has come here to the tourists to deceive him and take the money. That' s not true. To the baby, I do nothing but teach the rites. The nice thing we have in Cuba. That' s not pretty stuff, really. Yes, Mr Poque Ne, you know he' s the retractor. Where the renanguero is. A tranquero, viva Chico, retractor, the part outside of Cobacha, alien of tranque ah yes, yes, yes, foreigner abroad will see

2:38 very nice thing to see. But inside Cuba we also have very nice things, such as, for example, man boys, the street of vinelesch as street of villages, the street of Vineyard Le that is there is street vineyard that you will see down the valley of Viñales Chico. Indeed, very well answered. Well, although, of course, in Cuba there are not only beautiful things, not delicacy and although it does not hurt to say it, we have to have if we see and confess that in Cuba we also have very ugly things, such as, for example, rudeness from your god, Doctor, put a fine on him for that disrespect, saying there is no lack of respect. The fact that the three parties put it, as an example, should be of pride to you, because that shows that you are a citizen. Oh, come on. I' m an exemplary citizen.

3:30 Yes, sir, and that is why you set a clear example to me : yes, thank you very much. Then three skates, but the next time you talk about the ugly things in Cuba, put me, for example, to the Judge. Not reciting from sonata what we' re left with, man. You say that' s a pride. I hope I' m not proud. I' m very democrat. Ah well, so am I and with you that Nanamina is right and that what three skates do is swindle the São Paulo. I repeat done nine of Roshinto, which is not true. Listen, sir, you know what three skates did. The other day he made sir charged fifty pesos to a tourist because to carry him in machines from Havana to Santiago is not a girl, but that was the tisimo let that it gave you clearly that yes, because from the band to Santiago de Cuba and nine hundred seventy kilometers, so not. No. No.

4:19 No. No. If the thing wasn' t Santiago de Cuba, no, where it was then Santiago de las Vegas. You charged that tourist fifty pesos for taking him to Santiago de las Vegas. Three fatines, well, he laughed. It' s not that I stocito if I have Chico look, I charged him the fifty- sixty, nothing more than fifty sitting. Yeah, because he asked me how motch how the how boy Moe told me, howmorge aha. You say it no, no, but it is so, Howmage, then I told him fisti ift i mean that fifty was aha, then it seems astounded by how cheap I charged him. Fipsti told me. I told him and Fiti aha. Then I you, why I' m going to wait, I' m going to talk what you' re going to see. Well, you' re kids. Tell you, gentlemen, you didn' t give a fifty- dollar bill to yourself. Ah yes, aha and why you stayed with them. Well, because I thought in the other forty- nine fifty he tipped me. Well, thirty oil.

5:23 You oiled who oiled the too close. I accepted it. You' ve done the same thing, too, no, sir That' s what being says, well, three skates, but you just told him Fifty, right. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no more fi. And why didn' t you clarify it was pennies and not dollars? Guys, man, I couldn' t guys. Why I couldn' t because I couldn' t, I can' t say fift and schen in American and how I say it now, three parties, what you, what things they fifty cents and what you mean you fisist hundred fifty cents. Sure, sure. Or nine. Now that I' m here to find out Media Shap Secretary, give him fifty pesos of fine, because of everything, finally three skateboards. The point was that you put in fifty dollars for a little trip to Santiago de la Vega. It' s not that, no, no, no, there was no, no twenty- five, nothing more, for the other twenty- five were for the house. Why the lalo cousin mine which owns cousins no, not mine has heard my man, whose son is the hello boy, I have read it from Lola, Lola sister whose Lili is Lily' s. Yeah, Lily' s the older brother of cinema and Lulu' s, uh, and cinematium than what if fool' s been pre for you I' ll fix it for you.

6:38 Then I don' t know how silence comes in. That' s where he doesn' t know how sinecio comes in, because because of that movie band in the dramata, then it turns out. I know Lalo owns the machine or the guide business. Tourists have him halfway between my cousin Lalo and eight. So and where they take the tourists they take him to the cathedral, yes of course. It' s a boy' s weapon mass Adone to the Weapon Square. She also calls it in the square. No, sir, I say to the square that is in front of the Ajuntamién, so do we, boys, and the data. There' s all the trade that' s going on The ex acts all the menuments there are. He' s taught the world or not. Not everything. Yeah, yeah, the tattoo, no, tattoo not monument to everything. That' s the chin lesson That' s how he shows it all. No. Well, this is something else. Doctor No, on behalf of the Tourist Guides Union, to which I have the honour of belonging, I ask that three skates should not be allowed to continue exercising this profession because it says one of nonsense that truly constitutes an attack on culture and an obvious danger to the good organization that must exist in seo or activity. So, of course, Doctor, you think the other day I took some tourists there to the cathedral square and told them this is the Cathedral of Havana. The time of Spain then led him to the gathering and told them to see to the gathering of Havana

8:11 also the time of Spain? That' s not true, but did he then take it to the light pier, teach them the Bay and tell them the Havana Bay of Spain' s weather? Also or that' s true. Enclosure the Bay wasn' t there. It has in bre Spain and your God, the Bay is there long before the Spanish compadres arrived. You won' t see. He' s going to tell me now that they gave the lotions how the figs of them were going to do it three games. Of course not the Spaniards, who still have the slabs and wood in Fonwich. The men, the bays were made by nature. Hey, listen to the other one. That' s the one thing about the other, but of course it is, nature comes here with nature, it did the boat, no, sir, the ships were made by the men from long after and then why nature made the bay. Yeah, yeah, if I didn' t have banc shawls skates. That' s one thing that' s shutting it off. Bathing. The truth is that I believe that you are in no way able to continue to guide the people. Of course not, sir, that you think a man like that is capable of taking a tourist trip. Suppose the valley of Viñales. No. No, no, no, wait a minute, ma' am, a minute careful with that Viñales Valley. Listen to me in the valley of Viñales. My cousin and I have taken it. Yeah. You don' t know how much excursion that cha was and I even took a little verse out into the valley and I told it all to myself. I' m sure that little brat took

9:41 it from his cousin. Cuckoo cuckoo then like he says good, because I registered him for me to resurrect him. What he enrolled for me to resurrect. He died. You didn' t tell Mary what Mary looks like, but you registered her. He' s that for me to rewrite. Where the record of the girl fucked up a pencil there on a carama wrote, he wrote of belief. He wrote it for you to recite. They recited it. See how he says look at him like he says vineyards, I can never forget you as long as I live. To see you you have to climb a hill uphill. Do me a favor. You' ve ever seen a hill that' s not uphill, have you? Madam that same hill, after you have arrived the copito up there, because it becomes downhill, yes? And to maraderos you have also gone as true as not boy to true I take out another verse that says so. See the beach in Baradero has a sand so thin that instead of calling it sand, they should call it Harina. They have your God, but how they' re going to call Harina compadre so they can start picking up the chamfers to make tamales.

10:52 And what heroes being of the tamales the other is evident and what other things he has done to you verses. Ah the bayer kills, tells him another that says so. The bay of slaughter is a beautiful one. The only bad thing is the water that has a lot of moisture, so that the water in the slaughter bay has a lot of moisture and has a little Meda already to the cave of le beyamar I also made another versito. As he says so, notice, the caves must call have a great beauty and they have droplets of water that shut you in the head. Don' t tell me, and those booties of anus were the ones that called your attention in such a propitious place, to contemplation and romanticism, to ketch to romanticism.

11:33 You don' t like romanticism. I don' t know, I ' ve never eaten it. It' s root and that' s not it, sir. Who does not, Lord, you have some more charge to make to three skates How not, sir, for the gravest of all the accusations is missing. Yeah, which, then, this three- legged bandit has been a pile of tourists. You' ve scammed him selling him a ballot for a chibi chala he' s got telling him they' re tickets for the national tria draw. No. Not a moment. I' ve sold it in the chivallina, but it' s chala, yes, picha la chichana, yes, but I never said anything about national. What do you mean, not both of us. Ma' am, I said that ticket was for the lottery draw. Nothing' s good for the case.

12:15 Anyway, it' s not rude, it' s not the same, because what I tell you is the truth. And like there' s no cheating, there' s no cheating because there' s no three- bit scam. You tell us those tickets are for the lottery draw. Yeah, kiddo,' cause they' re for a bachelor who makes my cousin lalo every month. You know, uh- huh They' re for a draw that his cousin lalos makes. Yeah, and you know, how I asked my cousin to give it up like he did. That' s why I tell you they' re for the lottery draw. Moment three your cousins are surnamed theory, word that xi che and that last name exists, well, guys, yes, here among us exists no. He asked me not to exist, because the truth is that my cousin was called la lo Fernández. Come on, his name was Fernández. Yeah, but that changed his last name. And why did you change your last name, man, what a small question to be able to put on it turritos ticket. That' s not how he commits deli. Write there, Secretary, come sit down for the lottery, doing my duty, I have you to put fourteen months and one day and if I see you getting close to foreign tourists, you can prepare now because I will put you ten years. Ay puede Fernández, Aníbal de Barro Mexical, Adolfo Pedro and MiguelÁngel Herrera writes Castor Bispo, Production and Direction. Miguel yao Lobo Iglesias, who speaks to them, tells them very good luck. Friends Audio Centra