Cómo superar a tu peor enemigo: Tú.

0:09 Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for a better life. I am Eugenio Valla, ruiz, reader, hard- working and lover of personal development. Today I want to talk about how we can become our worst enemy in certain situations, especially and how we can overcome that situation and those moments. But before you start, as always, remind yourself that you have at your disposal a compilation of the most relevant ideas and tips on personal development. In my four books you know them free, healthy and happy. Thirty- one days to improve your life, minimalism for normal people and seven steps to a purposeful life.

0:54 I' ll leave you his link in the episode notes. A little lower than the play button and also, as many of you are asking me how and where to train personal development. I tell you what has worked for me, which is the personal development master' s degree online, from IPP ' s Institute of Positive Thinking. You know that I think it is the best training that exists in this field, because it covers depth the six main areas of life, self- knowledge, body and health, emotions, relationships, transcendence and money and professional career. So, if you want to take a look at your completely free and uncompromising master clash, I' ll leave your link in the episode notes a little bit lower than the play button next to my books, and now we' ll talk about how we can overcome our worst enemy of all the people in your life, which of them you spend the most time talking to. If you said you were wrong with your partner, if you said you were wrong with your best friend? Nor is that whatsapp group that is so active always notifying you messages and memes and stuff like that. The person you talk to the most is yourself. We all have about 50, 000 thoughts a day. We are constantly having an inner

2:30 dialogue with ourselves and it is possible that some of those conversations, because they are positive, but for most people, or at least most of the time, those voices in the head, those inner conversations that we have with ourselves, are negative and that negativity is preventing us from living the life that we really want to live. So what I want to explain is that changing the way you talk to yourself can change everything and that' s why we' re going to see five things that can help you make that change and keep it. The first is that you have to understand that you are living the life you have chosen for yourself. If you' re honest with yourself, you' ll find that there are parts of your life you don' t like. Maybe you have a job that doesn' t go anywhere, maybe you have problems with your family or your partner. If you' re willing to take that, then you' re choosing to live with it. So the big question you have to ask yourself is I' m willing to change what I don' t like and you might be tempted to answer things as clear as I' m willing, but it' s that the market is really complicated to fly right now. Or of course I' m willing, but I will when I' m two more years old, or I will when I have more time for it because that' s excuses. The truth

4:02 is that you' re not really willing to make that change, or at least you' re not willing to do it yet as soon as the word appears. But what you' re doing is justifying your conscious decision not to improve your life. But it' s okay. This is normal. It is much easier to feel comfortable with the negative things of life than to do the work to put the effort needed to change them. This was already said by Machiavelli in a very famous phrase. Yours said. Where the will is great, the difficulties cannot be? Where the will is great, the difficulties cannot be? So ask yourself what you want to change in your life but you haven' t been able to. For whatever it is, maybe you ' re too busy or maybe you' re too tired or maybe you' re just not ready yet. You can make all the excuses you want, but in reality, there' s only one reason you haven' t made that change, and that reason is you haven' t been willing to answer to do the job to improve your reality. And this seems like bad news and in part it is, but we must also see it as a source of hope. Logically, if you have been able to create and if you have been able to maintain a life that you do not want the normal or with more reason. What' s going to happen is that you' re going to be able to create and maintain a life that you do want,

5:38 but first you have to accept that you have enormous power over your own life and you just need to use it to make the necessary changes. It' s about asserting and believing you' re willing to make them. You' re willing to change jobs, I' m willing. You' re willing to improve your relationship. I' m willing, I' m willing to go to the gym, I' m willing to move you into a new city. I' m willing if it' s easier if you don' t come up with being willing to do things you really want. Do. Turn this sentence around. Focus on the things you' re no longer willing to endure. For example, you' re willing to spend your life doing a job that doesn' t fill you for people who don' t appreciate your effort. I' m not willing. Many times it is easier to know what we are not willing to do than to know what we are willing to do. But in any case, being willing or unwilling is not a magic wand either. That motivation, that attitude, is not going to bring about change on its own. The change you' re going to produce with work and you' re going to produce with persistence. You' re going to produce it by turning what you have to do into a habit, but it' s being willing. It is what will prepare the ground for change to happen. Another thing you have to do to stop being your enemy piar.

7:12 It' s changing your beliefs. You know we all have beliefs that slow us down. I' m not handsome or I' m not very smart or I' m bad at math. Whatever it is, you can ' t let those beliefs define your life. You can' t agree with them. You have to get rid of them. And you' ll ask me how I get rid of those negative beliefs, because the first thing is to identify them, because many times we' re not even aware of what beliefs are affecting us, because they' re buried deep in our subconscious, so think of those areas of your life where you have more problems where you ' re tripping over and over again with the same stone. And it' s at that point according to where there' s a belief you have to eliminate and the best way to eliminate a belief is to show yourself that that belief is false. Let' s just say you think you' re a lazy person. So, every time you jump on the couch to surf social media, instead of going to work or, instead of taking the backpack, going to the gym, you' re showing yourself that that belief is true.

8:26 And the key is to show you that you' re wrong, that you' re not a person, a lazy person. And for that you ' re going to have to change, you' re going to have to organize, you' re going to have to control your time, you' re going to have to cultivate discipline. And for that you need a plan, you need to put in writing the things you will do when you feel that urge to waste your time, that is, whenever you want to throw yourself on the couch to waste your time navigating by instagram or whatever it is put on your sneakers and go for a run. Even if it' s five minutes. That' s enough, all you need to do is put an end to that impulse and be able to prove to yourself that belief is false. Imagine how well you' re going to feel when you finish those five minutes and the more times, the more times you repeat this cycle, the less space you leave for that belief in your brain you' re showing yourself. The third thing I recommend to make you stop being your worst enemy is to take perspective, because obviously, however positive your mentality is, however empowering your beliefs are. Life is going to hold things very hard for you all. Relationships will break, people will die around you, you' re going to have to face trauma, health problems, you' re going to have economic problems and much more. And actually, positive thinking isn' t

10:01 gonna protect you from any of that. Those things are gonna keep happening to you. Have positive thinking or negative thinking. But when the bad things of life happen, a positive mentality, a strong mentality, will be able to respond to them, will be able to hold the pull without falling. If you, on the other hand, have a negative mentality, a problem, it may be enough to destroy your life. So the next time you face any problems in life, you have to tell yourself that you understand that you assume it and understand it. Assume it doesn' t mean you' re not gonna feel bad. About what he' s been through. It' s not to minimize the pain you' re feeling. It is a reminder to yourself that you are strong enough to face the challenges that life poses.

10:58 A graphic example or a metaphor. Imagine yourself standing in the middle of a train track behind and in front of you you see that the tracks extend until they get lost on the horizon. Well, those roads are your life, you have your past behind your back and your future ahead of you. And now remember the five best ten things that have happened to you in life up to this moment and the five or ten worst and write them on a role. And when you have it, look to the future. Look at those tracks ahead of you and understand one thing is going to be exactly the same. Those tracks ahead of you in that future. There' ll be horrible things like the ones you just wrote, and there' ll be great things like the ones you just wrote too. And the magic is you' re gonna be able to beat them all, because it' s exactly the same thing you' ve been doing so far. Realize that you have always managed to overcome everything, even if there were things that seemed insurmountable to you at the time, even if it seemed to you that the world was going to end at that very moment. And this is an exercise to put things into perspective. You can do this exercise any other, but the important thing is that you understand that the things that happen, both the good and the bad, are simply events that are often inevitable and that we have to put into perspective. We have to see the whole route of the road, not just

12:31 that stretch of the road where good things or bad things happen. The fourth thing you should do to stop being your enemy prior is start feeling comfortable or comfortable in uncertainty. And it' s just that in today' s day we' re all a little bit addicted to certainty. There are people who compulsively look at time, others who compulsively look at traffic, or others who don' t look at it through election polls. The human being wants to know what' s going to happen. We like to know what' s going to happen. If it were for us, we would all have a crystal ball in front of us, because there is nothing we like more than to have the knowledge of what is going to happen in the future, because that gives us advantage is normal from an evolutionary point of view. The problem is that nothing worthwhile is going to happen or happen without a certain degree of uncertainty. Think about making new friends, accepting a new job, setting up a business, introducing yourself to a literary prize, all those things that are worth it. It' s all uncertainty. And for many people that fear of uncertainty is greater than their desire to change their lives. And when that happens, when the desire or fear of uncertainty is greater than the desire to change, then it is when a life stagnates, A life without a little uncertainty, is a standing life, is a stagnant life, is a life

14:05 on the dead end. So, if you want to have a better life, you must learn to live together and you must learn to accept uncertainty. Forget the fear, the fear of being judged, the fear of what others think, the fear of poverty, life with capitals. It' s uncertainty. But it is also that absolute certainty does not exist. We live in a universe that is absolutely chaotic, so you can do everything in your power to avoid uncertainty. And no one tells you that one day you won' t go out the door of your house. You drop a pot on top and bye. Certainty is an illusion, it does not exist. On the contrary, it is uncertainty, not certainty that is guaranteed. So we better get used to it, to that uncertainty and the fifth thing you can do to stop being your worst enemy, is stop thinking and take action. You know, because we have repeated it many times in this podcast, that the normal cycle of life is that we perceive information through the senses we filter it based on our beliefs. This generates a series of emotions. These emotions result in thoughts. Those thoughts become words you say or things you do or stop doing and based on all that we get results. That' s the reality.

15:39 Now, if it is impossible for you to change your negative thoughts for positive thoughts, change the final part of the cycle, that is, change your actions, it is no madness. After all, you have more than 50, 000 thoughts every day and you can' t control everything by n so tone. Sometimes it' s gonna be hard for you to think positive and it' s okay. Sometimes you don' t have to think positive. You just have to act like you think positive, ignore your negative thoughts, and act anyway. Imagine being asked to speak in public at an important conference. Imagine it' s a great opportunity for you, but you start to have negative thoughts because you hate to speak in public, because you don ' t have time to prepare yourself well, because you don' t think, that you don' t have enough knowledge to be in the grandstand where other people will be who do, or you think you don' t have enough experience. There are times when you can' t change those thoughts and you have to give a shit. You have to go to that conference and you have to speak in public. You also have to act in spite of negative thoughts, and doing this is magical. It' s magic does magic in our brain, on the one hand, because the simple fact of doing what you don' t think you want to do can distract you from thinking

17:11 that you don' t want to do it, so that' s already a first win. But, on the other hand, it' s quite possible that, once you start doing what you were avoiding, the result isn ' t as bad as you feared, and that sends a positive message to your brain, that is, if you make that presentation at the Conference, it' s not just a victory you get that day, it' s also a victory for the future, because the next time you' re asked to speak in public your brain is going to remember that, actually, the last time you did it wasn' t that bad either. So you know if someone' s keeping you from living the life you want. That someone, unfortunately, is you convince yourself that you are willing to change, modify your limiting beliefs, by empowering beliefs. Observe the good and bad things that can happen to you with the perspective of a lifetime, not the perspective of that moment, in particular, feel comfortable with uncertainty because there is nothing else.

18:12 And finally, stop thinking, stop talking and go into action. If you liked this episode, please give it to me. Share on social networks or visit it raises points ideas to live better as there you can subscribe and download completely for free a copy of my latest book, Seven steps for a life with purpose and if you want to learn much more and train in personal development with the best experts, check out the free master' s degree in personal development online from ipp Te. I leave your link in the episode notes.

18:52 Down there in the box, next to my books, and I' m just saying goodbye. Thank you very much, as always and until the next