March 10, 2024
Ser más asertivos

Si queremos ser felices necesitamos aprender a ser más asertivos.
Si queremos ser felices necesitamos aprender a ser más asertivos.
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:08.119
Bombax, why the affective relationships I
have are not stable. I like assertiveness,
2
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:13.519
why it invites us to prudence that
what should motivate our word is always
3
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:20.679
love is You and that is already
the basis to go out to conquer many
4
00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:26.559
goals, to fight, to give
a better version and enjoy life fully.
5
00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:42.560
You know, if we want to
be happy, we need to learn to
6
00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:53.039
be assertive, that is, we
need to develop that ability to communicate our
7
00:00:53.079 --> 00:01:00.000
needs, our opinions, our emotions
in a clear, direct and respectful way,
8
00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:08.799
without being passive or unaggressive, that
is, to be able to set
9
00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:15.920
limits to defend our rights and be
able to express our point of view without
10
00:01:15.959 --> 00:01:25.959
invading others, without harming others many
times we stop communicating our needs, our
11
00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:30.439
opinions and our emotions, for fear
of being rude, for fear that other
12
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:38.359
people will distance themselves from us,
for fear that others will break the link
13
00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:44.000
we have with them. Today I
want to tell you that to be happy,
14
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:51.120
that to have good relations with others, assertiveness is required, firmness is
15
00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:56.799
required, no shame is required for
what I feel, for what I am,
16
00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.680
for what I live. Yeah,
it' s that clear and simple
17
00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:12.159
from psychology, how can we be
more puzzled. I' d like to
18
00:02:12.479 --> 00:02:16.800
offer you five keys to that.
The first is self- awareness. We
19
00:02:17.240 --> 00:02:27.159
need to know ourselves, what we
have been told since the time of Socrates
20
00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:36.479
Know yourself or from dolphins. It
is essential that each of us understand who
21
00:02:36.599 --> 00:02:42.199
he is. Be aware of the
moment in which you are, be aware
22
00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:49.199
of the purpose that holds you,
but also know what are the values,
23
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:55.120
that is, those inner forces that
constantly drive you to know, what are
24
00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:00.719
the needs, what is needed in
the heart, what is needed in the
25
00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:08.520
ode life that we do not have
and, obviously also know our emotional patterns,
26
00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:14.680
how are our reactions to the different
stimuli that we receive. When you
27
00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:21.560
don' t know who you are, you don' t know how to
28
00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:23.400
defend yourself When you don' t
know who you are, you don'
29
00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:25.400
t know how to set limits.
When you don' t know who you
30
00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:32.000
are, you' re even afraid
that others will leave you, that others
31
00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:35.960
will break that relationship with yourself,
then the first thing is self- consciousness.
32
00:03:36.719 --> 00:03:43.439
You know yourself, you accept yourself, you love yourself, you are
33
00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:47.319
clear about your values, your strength, your abilities, and you are also
34
00:03:47.319 --> 00:03:53.800
clear about your needs. That'
s fundamental to being assertive. Secondly,
35
00:03:53.120 --> 00:04:03.800
I think we need to learn to
communicate effectively clearly. We need to do
36
00:04:03.879 --> 00:04:09.520
exercises to know, to say what
we' re feeling, what we'
37
00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:15.360
re thinking. Yes, we need
to be people who clearly communicate their ideas,
38
00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:23.199
their emotions, and we do so
when we are clear, concrete,
39
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:28.759
concise. I like those three six
to talk about. We have to be
40
00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:35.879
clear, we have to be concrete, we have to be concise, always
41
00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:43.519
using a positive language, a constructive
language, a language that shows that we
42
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:48.040
are going forward and that we are
confident and believe in what we are and
43
00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:55.839
what we can do. And look, you have to communicate avoiding those unnecessary
44
00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:01.240
apologies. Sometimes we are justifying ourselves
again and again without need. Sometimes we
45
00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:09.240
give power to others over our life
when we begin to justify ourselves, when
46
00:05:09.399 --> 00:05:15.160
we begin to apologize for something that
has nothing wrong, that simply characterizes us,
47
00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:20.199
that simply shows us who we are. Then, please, we must
48
00:05:20.199 --> 00:05:25.800
work on clear communication, looking into
the eyes, with dignity, with firmness,
49
00:05:26.839 --> 00:05:32.240
without assault, without respect, but
making it clear that we believe that
50
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:41.959
our truth is valid and necessary.
The third key is to have a firm
51
00:05:41.959 --> 00:05:48.279
stance. One cannot be a vane
that moves under the pressure of the blowing
52
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:55.879
breeze. We don' t have
to be pleasing others to be happy.
53
00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:00.600
We don' t have to make
other people' s expectations our life map.
54
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:08.000
We don' t need character.
We need to be firm, listen
55
00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:15.240
to others with attention, with openness, with welcome, but without letting ourselves
56
00:06:15.639 --> 00:06:20.360
be intimidated, without letting ourselves be
cornered by their opinions or their demands.
57
00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:29.920
We need to be convinced that the
truth in our heart is valid and drives
58
00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:32.680
us, and then we don'
t have it. Why walk with a
59
00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:40.360
physical posture of someone self- absorbed, someone afraid, someone who does not
60
00:06:40.439 --> 00:06:45.839
want to communicate, someone who does
not look at the eyes, let alone
61
00:06:45.879 --> 00:06:54.439
enter into those expositions of our insecure
ideas where we can' t cancel and
62
00:06:55.120 --> 00:07:00.360
where we are not able to spin
clear and concrete answers or phrases. Here
63
00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:05.439
one more key, you need to
learn to say no. I think this
64
00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:11.040
has to do with our training.
We were made to believe as children that
65
00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:16.439
we had to please adults and that
we had to accept the requests of adults
66
00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:24.040
and please them. I remember one
day one of my sisters would say to
67
00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:28.800
my nephew," hey, but
give this aunt a kiss and he didn
68
00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:31.000
' t want to. And I
told her that he knows, that he
69
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:38.199
can say no, that he knows
can say no. Don' t be
70
00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:42.439
afraid to refuse a petition. If
you feel that it is not right,
71
00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:49.360
if you feel that it is an
abuse, if you feel uncomfortable, hear
72
00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:56.199
or simply do not have how to
realize it, but firmly, clearly,
73
00:07:56.680 --> 00:08:03.240
with respect, but you are not
obliged to please others. That' s
74
00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:07.079
right, not that one. You
can communicate it properly. And when I
75
00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:13.839
say right, I say politely,
without giving excessive explanations with the firmness of
76
00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:20.600
those who love themselves, of those
who value themselves. Now all this in
77
00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:26.639
a spiritual experience that empowers you.
I insist a lot on the spiritual experience
78
00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:30.480
that makes you feel valuable, that
makes you feel capable, that makes you
79
00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:35.639
feel like a person with so many
possibilities. I don' t like religious
80
00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:43.519
experiences that lead to deconstructing your image, destroying your self- esteem. Not
81
00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:52.039
that it is a spiritual experience in
which you know that your life makes sense
82
00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:58.240
and that you can flow and that
you can be happy and that you can
83
00:08:58.279 --> 00:09:03.799
find many wonderful experiences. Check these
keys, calmly, with serenity, because
84
00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:07.879
you have to be assertive in your
relationship as a couple, in your working
85
00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:13.600
relationship with your friends. You have
to be assertive. You' re not
86
00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:18.759
a wimp. You' re not
a wimp. You have a project to
87
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:24.320
realize, a dream to realize and
many skills that drive you to it.
88
00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:31.320
Hey check it out I ask you
one or one of these keys that are
89
00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:37.679
taken from experience, from psychology and
from spirituality. Cheer up you can.
90
00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:43.200
Thank you for being with us,
Thank you for sharing this podcast, which
91
00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:50.279
is a simple reflection that we put
on our channel, in Spotify, Dizer,
92
00:09:50.840 --> 00:10:05.080
on Apple, on Amazon, on
all platforms you know Boom Buck
1
00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:08.119
Bombax, why the affective relationships I
have are not stable. I like assertiveness,
2
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:13.519
why it invites us to prudence that
what should motivate our word is always
3
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:20.679
love is You and that is already
the basis to go out to conquer many
4
00:00:20.719 --> 00:00:26.559
goals, to fight, to give
a better version and enjoy life fully.
5
00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:42.560
You know, if we want to
be happy, we need to learn to
6
00:00:42.600 --> 00:00:53.039
be assertive, that is, we
need to develop that ability to communicate our
7
00:00:53.079 --> 00:01:00.000
needs, our opinions, our emotions
in a clear, direct and respectful way,
8
00:01:02.399 --> 00:01:08.799
without being passive or unaggressive, that
is, to be able to set
9
00:01:08.920 --> 00:01:15.920
limits to defend our rights and be
able to express our point of view without
10
00:01:15.959 --> 00:01:25.959
invading others, without harming others many
times we stop communicating our needs, our
11
00:01:25.959 --> 00:01:30.439
opinions and our emotions, for fear
of being rude, for fear that other
12
00:01:30.480 --> 00:01:38.359
people will distance themselves from us,
for fear that others will break the link
13
00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:44.000
we have with them. Today I
want to tell you that to be happy,
14
00:01:44.400 --> 00:01:51.120
that to have good relations with others, assertiveness is required, firmness is
15
00:01:51.120 --> 00:01:56.799
required, no shame is required for
what I feel, for what I am,
16
00:01:57.200 --> 00:02:00.680
for what I live. Yeah,
it' s that clear and simple
17
00:02:00.760 --> 00:02:12.159
from psychology, how can we be
more puzzled. I' d like to
18
00:02:12.479 --> 00:02:16.800
offer you five keys to that.
The first is self- awareness. We
19
00:02:17.240 --> 00:02:27.159
need to know ourselves, what we
have been told since the time of Socrates
20
00:02:28.840 --> 00:02:36.479
Know yourself or from dolphins. It
is essential that each of us understand who
21
00:02:36.599 --> 00:02:42.199
he is. Be aware of the
moment in which you are, be aware
22
00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:49.199
of the purpose that holds you,
but also know what are the values,
23
00:02:49.520 --> 00:02:55.120
that is, those inner forces that
constantly drive you to know, what are
24
00:02:57.240 --> 00:03:00.719
the needs, what is needed in
the heart, what is needed in the
25
00:03:00.879 --> 00:03:08.520
ode life that we do not have
and, obviously also know our emotional patterns,
26
00:03:09.039 --> 00:03:14.680
how are our reactions to the different
stimuli that we receive. When you
27
00:03:15.120 --> 00:03:21.560
don' t know who you are, you don' t know how to
28
00:03:21.680 --> 00:03:23.400
defend yourself When you don' t
know who you are, you don'
29
00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:25.400
t know how to set limits.
When you don' t know who you
30
00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:32.000
are, you' re even afraid
that others will leave you, that others
31
00:03:32.120 --> 00:03:35.960
will break that relationship with yourself,
then the first thing is self- consciousness.
32
00:03:36.719 --> 00:03:43.439
You know yourself, you accept yourself, you love yourself, you are
33
00:03:43.479 --> 00:03:47.319
clear about your values, your strength, your abilities, and you are also
34
00:03:47.319 --> 00:03:53.800
clear about your needs. That'
s fundamental to being assertive. Secondly,
35
00:03:53.120 --> 00:04:03.800
I think we need to learn to
communicate effectively clearly. We need to do
36
00:04:03.879 --> 00:04:09.520
exercises to know, to say what
we' re feeling, what we'
37
00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:15.360
re thinking. Yes, we need
to be people who clearly communicate their ideas,
38
00:04:16.079 --> 00:04:23.199
their emotions, and we do so
when we are clear, concrete,
39
00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:28.759
concise. I like those three six
to talk about. We have to be
40
00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:35.879
clear, we have to be concrete, we have to be concise, always
41
00:04:35.879 --> 00:04:43.519
using a positive language, a constructive
language, a language that shows that we
42
00:04:43.600 --> 00:04:48.040
are going forward and that we are
confident and believe in what we are and
43
00:04:48.040 --> 00:04:55.839
what we can do. And look, you have to communicate avoiding those unnecessary
44
00:04:55.839 --> 00:05:01.240
apologies. Sometimes we are justifying ourselves
again and again without need. Sometimes we
45
00:05:01.360 --> 00:05:09.240
give power to others over our life
when we begin to justify ourselves, when
46
00:05:09.399 --> 00:05:15.160
we begin to apologize for something that
has nothing wrong, that simply characterizes us,
47
00:05:15.839 --> 00:05:20.199
that simply shows us who we are. Then, please, we must
48
00:05:20.199 --> 00:05:25.800
work on clear communication, looking into
the eyes, with dignity, with firmness,
49
00:05:26.839 --> 00:05:32.240
without assault, without respect, but
making it clear that we believe that
50
00:05:32.560 --> 00:05:41.959
our truth is valid and necessary.
The third key is to have a firm
51
00:05:41.959 --> 00:05:48.279
stance. One cannot be a vane
that moves under the pressure of the blowing
52
00:05:48.319 --> 00:05:55.879
breeze. We don' t have
to be pleasing others to be happy.
53
00:05:55.920 --> 00:06:00.600
We don' t have to make
other people' s expectations our life map.
54
00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:08.000
We don' t need character.
We need to be firm, listen
55
00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:15.240
to others with attention, with openness, with welcome, but without letting ourselves
56
00:06:15.639 --> 00:06:20.360
be intimidated, without letting ourselves be
cornered by their opinions or their demands.
57
00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:29.920
We need to be convinced that the
truth in our heart is valid and drives
58
00:06:30.040 --> 00:06:32.680
us, and then we don'
t have it. Why walk with a
59
00:06:32.800 --> 00:06:40.360
physical posture of someone self- absorbed, someone afraid, someone who does not
60
00:06:40.439 --> 00:06:45.839
want to communicate, someone who does
not look at the eyes, let alone
61
00:06:45.879 --> 00:06:54.439
enter into those expositions of our insecure
ideas where we can' t cancel and
62
00:06:55.120 --> 00:07:00.360
where we are not able to spin
clear and concrete answers or phrases. Here
63
00:07:00.279 --> 00:07:05.439
one more key, you need to
learn to say no. I think this
64
00:07:05.439 --> 00:07:11.040
has to do with our training.
We were made to believe as children that
65
00:07:11.160 --> 00:07:16.439
we had to please adults and that
we had to accept the requests of adults
66
00:07:16.519 --> 00:07:24.040
and please them. I remember one
day one of my sisters would say to
67
00:07:24.079 --> 00:07:28.800
my nephew," hey, but
give this aunt a kiss and he didn
68
00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:31.000
' t want to. And I
told her that he knows, that he
69
00:07:31.040 --> 00:07:38.199
can say no, that he knows
can say no. Don' t be
70
00:07:38.319 --> 00:07:42.439
afraid to refuse a petition. If
you feel that it is not right,
71
00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:49.360
if you feel that it is an
abuse, if you feel uncomfortable, hear
72
00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:56.199
or simply do not have how to
realize it, but firmly, clearly,
73
00:07:56.680 --> 00:08:03.240
with respect, but you are not
obliged to please others. That' s
74
00:08:03.959 --> 00:08:07.079
right, not that one. You
can communicate it properly. And when I
75
00:08:07.120 --> 00:08:13.839
say right, I say politely,
without giving excessive explanations with the firmness of
76
00:08:13.959 --> 00:08:20.600
those who love themselves, of those
who value themselves. Now all this in
77
00:08:20.680 --> 00:08:26.639
a spiritual experience that empowers you.
I insist a lot on the spiritual experience
78
00:08:26.680 --> 00:08:30.480
that makes you feel valuable, that
makes you feel capable, that makes you
79
00:08:30.639 --> 00:08:35.639
feel like a person with so many
possibilities. I don' t like religious
80
00:08:35.360 --> 00:08:43.519
experiences that lead to deconstructing your image, destroying your self- esteem. Not
81
00:08:45.279 --> 00:08:52.039
that it is a spiritual experience in
which you know that your life makes sense
82
00:08:52.600 --> 00:08:58.240
and that you can flow and that
you can be happy and that you can
83
00:08:58.279 --> 00:09:03.799
find many wonderful experiences. Check these
keys, calmly, with serenity, because
84
00:09:03.240 --> 00:09:07.879
you have to be assertive in your
relationship as a couple, in your working
85
00:09:09.240 --> 00:09:13.600
relationship with your friends. You have
to be assertive. You' re not
86
00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:18.759
a wimp. You' re not
a wimp. You have a project to
87
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:24.320
realize, a dream to realize and
many skills that drive you to it.
88
00:09:24.279 --> 00:09:31.320
Hey check it out I ask you
one or one of these keys that are
89
00:09:31.360 --> 00:09:37.679
taken from experience, from psychology and
from spirituality. Cheer up you can.
90
00:09:39.320 --> 00:09:43.200
Thank you for being with us,
Thank you for sharing this podcast, which
91
00:09:43.240 --> 00:09:50.279
is a simple reflection that we put
on our channel, in Spotify, Dizer,
92
00:09:50.840 --> 00:10:05.080
on Apple, on Amazon, on
all platforms you know Boom Buck







