May 15, 2024
Saber poner Límites

Cuando no hay límites saludables terminamos invadiendo o irrespetando la intimidad de las personas.
Cuando no hay límites saludables terminamos invadiendo o irrespetando la intimidad de las personas.
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:08.119
Or why the affective relationships I have
are not stable. I like assertiveness,
2
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:13.960
why it invites us to prudence that
what should motivate our word is always love.
3
00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:23.079
I am and that is already the
basis for going out to conquer many
4
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:28.960
goals, to fight, to give
a better version and to enjoy life fully.
5
00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:43.840
You know in interpersonal relationships it is
necessary to establish healthy limits. We
6
00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:51.479
all need to understand how far we
can go. Definitely, when there are
7
00:00:51.640 --> 00:01:00.000
no healthy limits, we end up
respecting, we end up invading people'
8
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:06.400
s privacy. What I understand by
healthy boundaries. They are those guidelines that
9
00:01:06.439 --> 00:01:11.439
we define to protect our well-
being. It is these guidelines that help
10
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:21.319
us communicate our needs, our desires
and our preferences, and of course we
11
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:27.920
do so in an assertive way,
in a clear way, respecting ourselves and
12
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:37.920
respecting others. Without healthy limits,
relationships tend to become a source of respect,
13
00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:45.840
suffering, and harm to others.
Why healthy boundaries are important. I
14
00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:53.319
' d like to ask you three
benefits of establishing those lines. First,
15
00:01:53.040 --> 00:02:00.599
they improve emotional and mental well-
being, because when you set those limits,
16
00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:06.799
you reduce stress, anxiety, and
resentment. I mean, you feel
17
00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:13.199
empowered by yourself and in control of
your life, because you' re able
18
00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:16.759
to tell each other. You can' t invade, you can' t
19
00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:22.039
generate a pressure that I don'
t want. You can' t try
20
00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:23.759
to force me to do what I
don' t want to do then.
21
00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:30.759
The first benefit is that improvement,
emotional and mental well- being. The
22
00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:38.199
second benefit strengthens the relationships between clearer
are the limits, more confidence, more
23
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:47.000
mutual respect in relationships, said a
father, friend clear accounts, friends forever
24
00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:53.159
and I believe that. To the
extent that you know how far you can
25
00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:58.280
go, to the extent that you
know how you can behave you will surely
26
00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:04.280
generate greater confidence in your course and
the other person' s response. The
27
00:03:04.360 --> 00:03:09.560
third benefit is that they help us
achieve our goals, because we are protecting
28
00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:16.400
our time, we are protecting our
resources and that way we focus on what
29
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:24.159
is really important and brings us closer
to our goals, preventing any attempt at
30
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:32.680
manipulation or abuse. When we set
limits, we are identifying and avoiding those
31
00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:38.680
situations that harm us, those situations
that put us at risk. Now there
32
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:46.680
is one more question and how these
healthy limits are set. I propose four
33
00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:54.199
keys for you to try to build
those boundaries. The first thing really identifies
34
00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:59.919
what bothers you, what you need
to feel respected, respected and you can
35
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:08.680
specify them through a limit. The
first thing is to identify what really bothers
36
00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:14.280
you, what really puts you at
risk. By being clear that you identify
37
00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:19.800
a limit, you write it the
precise. The second key must be clearly
38
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:26.160
communicated. Hey, you can'
t expect the other guy to know what
39
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:28.680
your limit is. If you haven' t told him, if you haven
40
00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:31.160
' t looked him in the eye
and told him, this bothers me,
41
00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:33.480
this puts me at risk, this
I don' t want to live.
42
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:41.839
Then you have to explain them,
you have to expose them with total clarity,
43
00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:45.000
you have to say hear. I
feel uncomfortable when you do this.
44
00:04:46.120 --> 00:04:50.160
Please don' t manifest yourself this
way, because this makes me feel this
45
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.480
and it' s party. Do
not blame the other, do not criticize
46
00:04:55.560 --> 00:05:02.160
others manifest their situation tell what really
happens to you third method or third way
47
00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:10.480
or third key to build those limits. Be firm and steady. It'
48
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:15.600
s important that you keep your limits. Watch out that they' re not
49
00:05:15.639 --> 00:05:18.319
so flexible, don' t move
constantly, because then the other person doesn
50
00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:20.519
' t know what to stick to. Sometimes what happens to us is that
51
00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:26.439
we change the boundaries so much that
other people enter a region of mistrust.
52
00:05:27.959 --> 00:05:30.519
They don' t really know what
to say, they don' t really
53
00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:34.439
know how to act. Then please
be a firm person, even with those
54
00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:42.480
people who are trying to push you
to change your limit. Don' t
55
00:05:42.519 --> 00:05:45.839
be afraid to say I don'
t need time to think about it.
56
00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:49.839
I disagree. I don' t
like your behavior. That' s fundamental.
57
00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:57.360
Now it is also necessary for you
to respect the limits of others that
58
00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:02.120
you are someone who gives what he
wants, to give him that he is
59
00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:06.120
responsible to others. If you respect
the limits of others, you have the
60
00:06:06.199 --> 00:06:14.639
right to set your eye for it, listen carefully to their needs and respect
61
00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:20.759
their space. And the last key
is that you take care of yourself physically
62
00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:26.920
and emotionally in order to establish and
maintain your limits. To do this,
63
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:33.040
do experiences of relaxation, breathing,
experiences that help you to learn and be
64
00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:39.519
more calm and to be surrounded by
people who love you, people who value
65
00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:45.120
you, people who are willing to
help you and give it better. I
66
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:49.639
insist on establishing healthy limits. It' s not being selfish, because that
67
00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:51.480
' s another one of the reviews
they' re gonna make you hey.
68
00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:56.519
That' s selfishness. No,
it' s not an act of self
69
00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:00.680
- love, because you have to
take care of your well- being,
70
00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:03.040
you have to give your peace,
you have to take care of your life,
71
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:09.279
your dignity. Now don' t
be afraid to change your mind,
72
00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:15.839
you can do it, to reset
the limits as needed and according to the
73
00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:18.959
experience you' re living, you
do it clearly, intelligently, firmly.
74
00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:25.959
Now, if you have trouble reestablishing
or maintaining healthy boundaries, I think you
75
00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:30.800
should seek help, because you may
be having that which we call emotional dependence.
76
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:36.319
Many people for low self- esteem
do not want to set limits because
77
00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:40.560
they are afraid to lose these people. They are afraid that this person will
78
00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:45.480
abandon them, or are afraid to
enter into a collision of interests and then
79
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:49.639
allow them to step on them,
allow them to carry them down, allow
80
00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:54.959
everything as long as this person does
not leave life. It' s essential
81
00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:59.560
that you have a clarity about what' s hurting you, what' s
82
00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:03.279
putting you at risk, and you
know how to communicate and you know how
83
00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:05.560
to say it. I think it' s the rules of the game.
84
00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:09.560
I believe that in relationships they must
be very clear in all relationships. I
85
00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:13.759
particularly tell you I don' t
like hand- playing. For example,
86
00:08:15.959 --> 00:08:18.439
on the Caribbean coast, where I
come from, it is very normal for
87
00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:22.040
there to be a hand. No. I don' t, I don
88
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.360
' t give those games, I
don' t get it two. I
89
00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:30.319
don' t like the aesthetic opinions
of others. I don' t give
90
00:08:30.360 --> 00:08:31.199
them and I' d rather they
don' t give them to me.
91
00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:33.240
When someone tells me Alberto, you' re fat, you' re skinny,
92
00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:37.879
you' re pretty, you'
re ugly, I always look at
93
00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:41.720
him, and if he insists,
I' m going to be clear about
94
00:08:41.799 --> 00:08:43.879
telling him I' m not interested
and I don' t let you,
95
00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:43.879
I mean, you' re not
the one to make those comments to me.
96
00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:48.080
Limits have to be set. For
example, I don' t deal
97
00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:54.039
with my dignity, I don'
t allow anyone to play with my dignity
98
00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:56.360
and sometimes I' m assertive.
There are people who say, but Alberto,
99
00:08:56.519 --> 00:08:58.799
don' t exaggerate. No,
it' s not that I'
100
00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:03.320
m exaggerating, it' s just
that for me that' s a limit
101
00:09:03.320 --> 00:09:05.519
that no one can exceed. To
the extent that those limits are clear,
102
00:09:05.879 --> 00:09:11.440
one may be happier. My spiritual
experience has helped me to set those limits.
103
00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:16.039
My spiritual experience has helped me to
know how much I am worth,
104
00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.799
to know who I am and to
be clear about my purpose for life.
105
00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:24.000
So, therefore, I' m
not willing to negotiate that. I'
106
00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:28.039
m not willing to get into it, it' s worth it or not.
107
00:09:28.039 --> 00:09:31.840
No. There I am firm and
I have an unnegotiable. I'
108
00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:35.799
m telling you clearly. Set your
limits and make them healthy limits. Hey,
109
00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:41.039
thanks for being there. I hope
you will share with us the texts
110
00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:43.799
we have been writing. The man
is alive and is with you which is
111
00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:48.639
a text that I recommend to you. We are in Say, we are
112
00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:52.720
in Apple, we are in Amazon, we are in Spotify and also in
113
00:09:52.799 --> 00:10:07.840
Google Play and on all platforms.
You know Boom Bux.
1
00:00:00.320 --> 00:00:08.119
Or why the affective relationships I have
are not stable. I like assertiveness,
2
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:13.960
why it invites us to prudence that
what should motivate our word is always love.
3
00:00:16.480 --> 00:00:23.079
I am and that is already the
basis for going out to conquer many
4
00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:28.960
goals, to fight, to give
a better version and to enjoy life fully.
5
00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:43.840
You know in interpersonal relationships it is
necessary to establish healthy limits. We
6
00:00:44.039 --> 00:00:51.479
all need to understand how far we
can go. Definitely, when there are
7
00:00:51.640 --> 00:01:00.000
no healthy limits, we end up
respecting, we end up invading people'
8
00:01:00.000 --> 00:01:06.400
s privacy. What I understand by
healthy boundaries. They are those guidelines that
9
00:01:06.439 --> 00:01:11.439
we define to protect our well-
being. It is these guidelines that help
10
00:01:11.840 --> 00:01:21.319
us communicate our needs, our desires
and our preferences, and of course we
11
00:01:21.680 --> 00:01:27.920
do so in an assertive way,
in a clear way, respecting ourselves and
12
00:01:29.000 --> 00:01:37.920
respecting others. Without healthy limits,
relationships tend to become a source of respect,
13
00:01:38.439 --> 00:01:45.840
suffering, and harm to others.
Why healthy boundaries are important. I
14
00:01:46.040 --> 00:01:53.319
' d like to ask you three
benefits of establishing those lines. First,
15
00:01:53.040 --> 00:02:00.599
they improve emotional and mental well-
being, because when you set those limits,
16
00:02:00.519 --> 00:02:06.799
you reduce stress, anxiety, and
resentment. I mean, you feel
17
00:02:07.280 --> 00:02:13.199
empowered by yourself and in control of
your life, because you' re able
18
00:02:13.199 --> 00:02:16.759
to tell each other. You can' t invade, you can' t
19
00:02:17.000 --> 00:02:22.039
generate a pressure that I don'
t want. You can' t try
20
00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:23.759
to force me to do what I
don' t want to do then.
21
00:02:23.800 --> 00:02:30.759
The first benefit is that improvement,
emotional and mental well- being. The
22
00:02:30.759 --> 00:02:38.199
second benefit strengthens the relationships between clearer
are the limits, more confidence, more
23
00:02:38.479 --> 00:02:47.000
mutual respect in relationships, said a
father, friend clear accounts, friends forever
24
00:02:47.000 --> 00:02:53.159
and I believe that. To the
extent that you know how far you can
25
00:02:53.199 --> 00:02:58.280
go, to the extent that you
know how you can behave you will surely
26
00:02:58.680 --> 00:03:04.280
generate greater confidence in your course and
the other person' s response. The
27
00:03:04.360 --> 00:03:09.560
third benefit is that they help us
achieve our goals, because we are protecting
28
00:03:09.719 --> 00:03:16.400
our time, we are protecting our
resources and that way we focus on what
29
00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:24.159
is really important and brings us closer
to our goals, preventing any attempt at
30
00:03:24.560 --> 00:03:32.680
manipulation or abuse. When we set
limits, we are identifying and avoiding those
31
00:03:32.759 --> 00:03:38.680
situations that harm us, those situations
that put us at risk. Now there
32
00:03:38.719 --> 00:03:46.680
is one more question and how these
healthy limits are set. I propose four
33
00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:54.199
keys for you to try to build
those boundaries. The first thing really identifies
34
00:03:54.240 --> 00:03:59.919
what bothers you, what you need
to feel respected, respected and you can
35
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:08.680
specify them through a limit. The
first thing is to identify what really bothers
36
00:04:08.759 --> 00:04:14.280
you, what really puts you at
risk. By being clear that you identify
37
00:04:14.360 --> 00:04:19.800
a limit, you write it the
precise. The second key must be clearly
38
00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:26.160
communicated. Hey, you can'
t expect the other guy to know what
39
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:28.680
your limit is. If you haven' t told him, if you haven
40
00:04:28.759 --> 00:04:31.160
' t looked him in the eye
and told him, this bothers me,
41
00:04:31.319 --> 00:04:33.480
this puts me at risk, this
I don' t want to live.
42
00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:41.839
Then you have to explain them,
you have to expose them with total clarity,
43
00:04:42.160 --> 00:04:45.000
you have to say hear. I
feel uncomfortable when you do this.
44
00:04:46.120 --> 00:04:50.160
Please don' t manifest yourself this
way, because this makes me feel this
45
00:04:50.480 --> 00:04:55.480
and it' s party. Do
not blame the other, do not criticize
46
00:04:55.560 --> 00:05:02.160
others manifest their situation tell what really
happens to you third method or third way
47
00:05:02.240 --> 00:05:10.480
or third key to build those limits. Be firm and steady. It'
48
00:05:10.959 --> 00:05:15.600
s important that you keep your limits. Watch out that they' re not
49
00:05:15.639 --> 00:05:18.319
so flexible, don' t move
constantly, because then the other person doesn
50
00:05:18.360 --> 00:05:20.519
' t know what to stick to. Sometimes what happens to us is that
51
00:05:20.560 --> 00:05:26.439
we change the boundaries so much that
other people enter a region of mistrust.
52
00:05:27.959 --> 00:05:30.519
They don' t really know what
to say, they don' t really
53
00:05:30.519 --> 00:05:34.439
know how to act. Then please
be a firm person, even with those
54
00:05:34.439 --> 00:05:42.480
people who are trying to push you
to change your limit. Don' t
55
00:05:42.519 --> 00:05:45.839
be afraid to say I don'
t need time to think about it.
56
00:05:46.199 --> 00:05:49.839
I disagree. I don' t
like your behavior. That' s fundamental.
57
00:05:50.480 --> 00:05:57.360
Now it is also necessary for you
to respect the limits of others that
58
00:05:57.959 --> 00:06:02.120
you are someone who gives what he
wants, to give him that he is
59
00:06:02.160 --> 00:06:06.120
responsible to others. If you respect
the limits of others, you have the
60
00:06:06.199 --> 00:06:14.639
right to set your eye for it, listen carefully to their needs and respect
61
00:06:15.000 --> 00:06:20.759
their space. And the last key
is that you take care of yourself physically
62
00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:26.920
and emotionally in order to establish and
maintain your limits. To do this,
63
00:06:28.079 --> 00:06:33.040
do experiences of relaxation, breathing,
experiences that help you to learn and be
64
00:06:33.120 --> 00:06:39.519
more calm and to be surrounded by
people who love you, people who value
65
00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:45.120
you, people who are willing to
help you and give it better. I
66
00:06:45.759 --> 00:06:49.639
insist on establishing healthy limits. It' s not being selfish, because that
67
00:06:49.680 --> 00:06:51.480
' s another one of the reviews
they' re gonna make you hey.
68
00:06:51.480 --> 00:06:56.519
That' s selfishness. No,
it' s not an act of self
69
00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:00.680
- love, because you have to
take care of your well- being,
70
00:07:00.959 --> 00:07:03.040
you have to give your peace,
you have to take care of your life,
71
00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:09.279
your dignity. Now don' t
be afraid to change your mind,
72
00:07:09.680 --> 00:07:15.839
you can do it, to reset
the limits as needed and according to the
73
00:07:15.920 --> 00:07:18.959
experience you' re living, you
do it clearly, intelligently, firmly.
74
00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:25.959
Now, if you have trouble reestablishing
or maintaining healthy boundaries, I think you
75
00:07:26.040 --> 00:07:30.800
should seek help, because you may
be having that which we call emotional dependence.
76
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:36.319
Many people for low self- esteem
do not want to set limits because
77
00:07:36.600 --> 00:07:40.560
they are afraid to lose these people. They are afraid that this person will
78
00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:45.480
abandon them, or are afraid to
enter into a collision of interests and then
79
00:07:45.759 --> 00:07:49.639
allow them to step on them,
allow them to carry them down, allow
80
00:07:49.800 --> 00:07:54.959
everything as long as this person does
not leave life. It' s essential
81
00:07:55.360 --> 00:07:59.560
that you have a clarity about what' s hurting you, what' s
82
00:07:59.680 --> 00:08:03.279
putting you at risk, and you
know how to communicate and you know how
83
00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:05.560
to say it. I think it' s the rules of the game.
84
00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:09.560
I believe that in relationships they must
be very clear in all relationships. I
85
00:08:09.639 --> 00:08:13.759
particularly tell you I don' t
like hand- playing. For example,
86
00:08:15.959 --> 00:08:18.439
on the Caribbean coast, where I
come from, it is very normal for
87
00:08:18.519 --> 00:08:22.040
there to be a hand. No. I don' t, I don
88
00:08:22.040 --> 00:08:24.360
' t give those games, I
don' t get it two. I
89
00:08:24.439 --> 00:08:30.319
don' t like the aesthetic opinions
of others. I don' t give
90
00:08:30.360 --> 00:08:31.199
them and I' d rather they
don' t give them to me.
91
00:08:31.480 --> 00:08:33.240
When someone tells me Alberto, you' re fat, you' re skinny,
92
00:08:33.559 --> 00:08:37.879
you' re pretty, you'
re ugly, I always look at
93
00:08:37.879 --> 00:08:41.720
him, and if he insists,
I' m going to be clear about
94
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telling him I' m not interested
and I don' t let you,
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00:08:43.879 --> 00:08:43.879
I mean, you' re not
the one to make those comments to me.
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00:08:45.200 --> 00:08:48.080
Limits have to be set. For
example, I don' t deal
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00:08:48.440 --> 00:08:54.039
with my dignity, I don'
t allow anyone to play with my dignity
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00:08:54.120 --> 00:08:56.360
and sometimes I' m assertive.
There are people who say, but Alberto,
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00:08:56.519 --> 00:08:58.799
don' t exaggerate. No,
it' s not that I'
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00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:03.320
m exaggerating, it' s just
that for me that' s a limit
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00:09:03.320 --> 00:09:05.519
that no one can exceed. To
the extent that those limits are clear,
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00:09:05.879 --> 00:09:11.440
one may be happier. My spiritual
experience has helped me to set those limits.
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00:09:11.759 --> 00:09:16.039
My spiritual experience has helped me to
know how much I am worth,
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00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:18.799
to know who I am and to
be clear about my purpose for life.
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00:09:20.080 --> 00:09:24.000
So, therefore, I' m
not willing to negotiate that. I'
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00:09:24.039 --> 00:09:28.039
m not willing to get into it, it' s worth it or not.
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No. There I am firm and
I have an unnegotiable. I'
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00:09:31.879 --> 00:09:35.799
m telling you clearly. Set your
limits and make them healthy limits. Hey,
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00:09:35.879 --> 00:09:41.039
thanks for being there. I hope
you will share with us the texts
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00:09:41.120 --> 00:09:43.799
we have been writing. The man
is alive and is with you which is
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00:09:43.879 --> 00:09:48.639
a text that I recommend to you. We are in Say, we are
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00:09:48.639 --> 00:09:52.720
in Apple, we are in Amazon, we are in Spotify and also in
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00:09:52.799 --> 00:10:07.840
Google Play and on all platforms.
You know Boom Bux.







