June 30, 2024
Parejas felices 3

Diariamente, recibo muchas preguntas sobre cómo solucionar problemas de parejas. Muchos sienten la necesidad de separarse, otros aún mantienen la esperanza de salvar la relación. Hoy responderé algunas, desde la experiencia y la espiritualidad.
Diariamente, recibo muchas preguntas sobre cómo solucionar problemas de parejas. Muchos sienten la necesidad de separarse, otros aún mantienen la esperanza de salvar la relación. Hoy responderé algunas, desde la experiencia y la espiritualidad.
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:08.119
Bombax, why the affective relationships I
have are not stable. I like assertiveness,
2
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:13.519
why it invites us to prudence that
what should motivate our word is always
3
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:20.800
the love soy and that is already
the basis to go out to conquer many
4
00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:27.239
goals, to fight, to give
a better version and to enjoy life fully.
5
00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:42.320
You know the keys to being happy
in partner life. How to communicate
6
00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:52.159
effectively with my partner. I have
a long time without genitality with my husband,
7
00:00:53.119 --> 00:01:02.960
how I manage to put up with
my mother- in- law who
8
00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.840
is involved, how I solve the
conflicts that grow and grow in my partner.
9
00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:14.400
These are some of the questions you
ask me through the messages I receive
10
00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:23.519
in my email. Many people feel
that their life as a couple. It
11
00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:26.319
' s not what they dreamed,
it' s not what they were looking
12
00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:36.079
for. Many feel the need to
separate, but they do not find the
13
00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:42.480
strength to do so and also have
some dependencies that do not allow them to
14
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:47.719
do so. That' s why
I want to talk about life as a
15
00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:57.239
couple today. I always emphasize that
for twenty- five years I accompanied couples
16
00:01:57.319 --> 00:02:02.680
from the spiritual experience. They are
not later I celebrated with them the sacrament
17
00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:08.840
of marriage, but I was in
crisis, in reconciliations, I was sharing,
18
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.680
through the encounter of boyfriends or,
through the marriage or family pastoral encounter,
19
00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:23.560
experiences of life as a couple and
now I live for five years a
20
00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:28.360
couple relationship. In addition to everything
I' ve read and everything I'
21
00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:35.639
ve written about it, look how
clear every couple relationship is unique, it
22
00:02:35.639 --> 00:02:42.400
' s unrepeatable, because human beings
are the only and unrepeatable. So every
23
00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:51.159
couple relationship is built from that oneness. Couples don' t look like each
24
00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:58.240
other. I also have to say
that there is no perfect couple. All
25
00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:06.680
couples have difficulties, have problems,
fight is normal. That' s why
26
00:03:06.840 --> 00:03:14.439
I can' t come up with
magic formulas. I cannot tell you to
27
00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:19.960
do this, this and this and
you will certainly be happy, because somehow
28
00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:27.719
relationships have their own challenges, their
own joys, their own obstacles and even
29
00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:36.439
their own methods of conflict resolution.
What I can do and I do it
30
00:03:37.080 --> 00:03:45.120
honestly, firmly, is to share
with you some elements some reflections that can
31
00:03:45.159 --> 00:03:53.280
help make the relationship work. Today
I want to raise five. The first
32
00:03:53.319 --> 00:04:00.840
element of mutual respect. There'
s no relationship that works if there'
33
00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:09.360
s no mutual respect. This is
to treat the couple with kindness, with
34
00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:15.400
consideration, even in the most difficult
moments, even in the most complex moments.
35
00:04:15.079 --> 00:04:19.839
The first thing is that. Respect
is expressed in kindness and expressed in
36
00:04:19.879 --> 00:04:30.639
consideration. There, too, the
opinions, feelings and needs of the couple
37
00:04:30.680 --> 00:04:34.839
must be valued. Without that openness, the relationship doesn' t work.
38
00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:43.519
Mutual respect also means avoiding criticism,
insults, mockery that sometimes becomes everyday.
39
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:50.720
There are couples who only live to
criticize each other, to insult each other
40
00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:58.519
and to mock each other. Mutual
respect means taking responsibility for one' s
41
00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:04.800
own acts, for one' s
own words, being consistent and mutual respect
42
00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:13.720
means living in a continuous process of
forgiveness, because there are always wounds even
43
00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:19.279
with silence. Then first element respected
a mutual. The second trust and loyalty
44
00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:29.480
hears. There must be sincerity and
honesty in the relationship. If you check,
45
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:35.600
one of the biggest causes statistically and
of separation is lack of sincerity and
46
00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:44.040
lack of honesty. Which translates into
infidelity, betrayal. Then be honest,
47
00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:54.480
be honest. That means keeping promises
and commitments. That requires avoiding flirting with
48
00:05:54.600 --> 00:06:01.399
other people or having sex outside the
couple in a hidden way and cheating on
49
00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:05.879
that person who is with you.
You also have to know how to respect
50
00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:10.560
privacy. I don' t think
you have to be digging into the couple
51
00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:15.360
' s things, because sure,
you end up finding what you don'
52
00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:19.160
t want and you end up suffering
and you end up suffering. Eye trust
53
00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:27.199
and loyalty means supporting that couple in
their personal pursuit, in their dreams,
54
00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:36.040
in their meths. Third element,
acceptance and tolerance. No one is like
55
00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:42.439
you want me to be. I
know that when they were in love she
56
00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:48.759
or he seemed perfect ideals, those
prescribed by medicine. For you and not
57
00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:57.279
humans we have mistakes, we have
tendencies, and that is why it is
58
00:06:57.279 --> 00:07:01.120
essential to accept the person, as
he is with defects, with virtues,
59
00:07:01.720 --> 00:07:05.279
with limitations, with potentialities. Don' t try to change your partner.
60
00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:12.199
I think it' s better to
change the relationship, but you can'
61
00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:15.079
t change the couple. One cannot
get the couple to act in a different
62
00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:20.240
way than it is. And here
we have to be tolerant. Sometimes you
63
00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:25.800
have to make silences, sometimes you
have to take distance, sometimes you have
64
00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:33.680
to endure. But please be tolerant. And tolerance is to celebrate the individuality
65
00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:41.480
of that person, it is to
help him grow personally and that integrally.
66
00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:48.279
Please, the third element is acceptance
and tolerance. The room to share together.
67
00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:53.519
Quality time must be devoted to partner
life and it must be done on
68
00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:59.160
a regular basis. It is necessary
to know, to plan activities that both
69
00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:03.360
enjoy, to concentrate on the couple
when they are together, not to have
70
00:08:03.399 --> 00:08:07.560
the cell phone in hand while talking
to her, not to be aware of
71
00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:11.120
the computer or the series while sharing
a moment, no, no, no,
72
00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:18.160
the tension is for her or for
him, knowing to have an independent
73
00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:22.240
life, also that is combined in
those moments of sharing. You have to
74
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:28.160
enjoy each other' s company by
creating new and better memories together, because
75
00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:33.120
those are the ones that will strengthen
the relationship. Make it clear whether the
76
00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:37.600
first is respect or mutual, the
second is trust and loyalty, the third
77
00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:43.399
is acceptance and tolerance, the fourth
is sharing time together and the fifth is
78
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:52.159
essential to resolve conflicts in a constructive
manner. It' s normal for me
79
00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:52.960
to fight a couple, not fight
a couple, not love each other.
80
00:08:54.919 --> 00:09:01.000
It' s normal for you to
get angry sometimes, but you have to
81
00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:05.000
be able to express that anger in
a healthy, respectful way. The other
82
00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:11.240
must be actively listened to. We
need to find solutions that work for both
83
00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:15.799
of them. Here we must apply
the Ganagana, the win Wien and,
84
00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:20.919
above all, we must know how
to give in, we must know how
85
00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:24.759
to make commitments and fight to make
them. Without good conflict resolution, the
86
00:09:24.759 --> 00:09:33.919
relationship doesn' t work. He
ends up drowning or ends up generating the
87
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:37.919
worst moments. Hey check out these
five elements, which are attitudes, which
88
00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:43.679
are tasks. Evaluate how these attitudes
are, these elements in your partner life
89
00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:48.799
and try to put very concrete tasks
into your life. Thank you for being
90
00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:56.480
there and thank you for sharing with
me this moment, this episode, and
91
00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.360
nothing I will continue to share with
you through the messages, through the networks,
92
00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:03.480
through all the spaces in which it
is missing. My email is p
93
00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:09.559
Alberto José Arroba hockemail you know
1
00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:08.119
Bombax, why the affective relationships I
have are not stable. I like assertiveness,
2
00:00:08.720 --> 00:00:13.519
why it invites us to prudence that
what should motivate our word is always
3
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:20.800
the love soy and that is already
the basis to go out to conquer many
4
00:00:20.839 --> 00:00:27.239
goals, to fight, to give
a better version and to enjoy life fully.
5
00:00:29.879 --> 00:00:42.320
You know the keys to being happy
in partner life. How to communicate
6
00:00:42.640 --> 00:00:52.159
effectively with my partner. I have
a long time without genitality with my husband,
7
00:00:53.119 --> 00:01:02.960
how I manage to put up with
my mother- in- law who
8
00:01:03.000 --> 00:01:04.840
is involved, how I solve the
conflicts that grow and grow in my partner.
9
00:01:07.439 --> 00:01:14.400
These are some of the questions you
ask me through the messages I receive
10
00:01:14.480 --> 00:01:23.519
in my email. Many people feel
that their life as a couple. It
11
00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:26.319
' s not what they dreamed,
it' s not what they were looking
12
00:01:26.319 --> 00:01:36.079
for. Many feel the need to
separate, but they do not find the
13
00:01:37.000 --> 00:01:42.480
strength to do so and also have
some dependencies that do not allow them to
14
00:01:42.480 --> 00:01:47.719
do so. That' s why
I want to talk about life as a
15
00:01:47.719 --> 00:01:57.239
couple today. I always emphasize that
for twenty- five years I accompanied couples
16
00:01:57.319 --> 00:02:02.680
from the spiritual experience. They are
not later I celebrated with them the sacrament
17
00:02:02.680 --> 00:02:08.840
of marriage, but I was in
crisis, in reconciliations, I was sharing,
18
00:02:09.520 --> 00:02:15.680
through the encounter of boyfriends or,
through the marriage or family pastoral encounter,
19
00:02:16.960 --> 00:02:23.560
experiences of life as a couple and
now I live for five years a
20
00:02:23.599 --> 00:02:28.360
couple relationship. In addition to everything
I' ve read and everything I'
21
00:02:28.439 --> 00:02:35.639
ve written about it, look how
clear every couple relationship is unique, it
22
00:02:35.639 --> 00:02:42.400
' s unrepeatable, because human beings
are the only and unrepeatable. So every
23
00:02:42.479 --> 00:02:51.159
couple relationship is built from that oneness. Couples don' t look like each
24
00:02:51.159 --> 00:02:58.240
other. I also have to say
that there is no perfect couple. All
25
00:02:58.319 --> 00:03:06.680
couples have difficulties, have problems,
fight is normal. That' s why
26
00:03:06.840 --> 00:03:14.439
I can' t come up with
magic formulas. I cannot tell you to
27
00:03:14.439 --> 00:03:19.960
do this, this and this and
you will certainly be happy, because somehow
28
00:03:20.039 --> 00:03:27.719
relationships have their own challenges, their
own joys, their own obstacles and even
29
00:03:28.120 --> 00:03:36.439
their own methods of conflict resolution.
What I can do and I do it
30
00:03:37.080 --> 00:03:45.120
honestly, firmly, is to share
with you some elements some reflections that can
31
00:03:45.159 --> 00:03:53.280
help make the relationship work. Today
I want to raise five. The first
32
00:03:53.319 --> 00:04:00.840
element of mutual respect. There'
s no relationship that works if there'
33
00:04:01.400 --> 00:04:09.360
s no mutual respect. This is
to treat the couple with kindness, with
34
00:04:09.360 --> 00:04:15.400
consideration, even in the most difficult
moments, even in the most complex moments.
35
00:04:15.079 --> 00:04:19.839
The first thing is that. Respect
is expressed in kindness and expressed in
36
00:04:19.879 --> 00:04:30.639
consideration. There, too, the
opinions, feelings and needs of the couple
37
00:04:30.680 --> 00:04:34.839
must be valued. Without that openness, the relationship doesn' t work.
38
00:04:36.439 --> 00:04:43.519
Mutual respect also means avoiding criticism,
insults, mockery that sometimes becomes everyday.
39
00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:50.720
There are couples who only live to
criticize each other, to insult each other
40
00:04:50.959 --> 00:04:58.519
and to mock each other. Mutual
respect means taking responsibility for one' s
41
00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:04.800
own acts, for one' s
own words, being consistent and mutual respect
42
00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:13.720
means living in a continuous process of
forgiveness, because there are always wounds even
43
00:05:13.720 --> 00:05:19.279
with silence. Then first element respected
a mutual. The second trust and loyalty
44
00:05:20.040 --> 00:05:29.480
hears. There must be sincerity and
honesty in the relationship. If you check,
45
00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:35.600
one of the biggest causes statistically and
of separation is lack of sincerity and
46
00:05:35.639 --> 00:05:44.040
lack of honesty. Which translates into
infidelity, betrayal. Then be honest,
47
00:05:44.879 --> 00:05:54.480
be honest. That means keeping promises
and commitments. That requires avoiding flirting with
48
00:05:54.600 --> 00:06:01.399
other people or having sex outside the
couple in a hidden way and cheating on
49
00:06:01.399 --> 00:06:05.879
that person who is with you.
You also have to know how to respect
50
00:06:05.879 --> 00:06:10.560
privacy. I don' t think
you have to be digging into the couple
51
00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:15.360
' s things, because sure,
you end up finding what you don'
52
00:06:15.439 --> 00:06:19.160
t want and you end up suffering
and you end up suffering. Eye trust
53
00:06:19.199 --> 00:06:27.199
and loyalty means supporting that couple in
their personal pursuit, in their dreams,
54
00:06:27.600 --> 00:06:36.040
in their meths. Third element,
acceptance and tolerance. No one is like
55
00:06:36.120 --> 00:06:42.439
you want me to be. I
know that when they were in love she
56
00:06:42.839 --> 00:06:48.759
or he seemed perfect ideals, those
prescribed by medicine. For you and not
57
00:06:50.199 --> 00:06:57.279
humans we have mistakes, we have
tendencies, and that is why it is
58
00:06:57.279 --> 00:07:01.120
essential to accept the person, as
he is with defects, with virtues,
59
00:07:01.720 --> 00:07:05.279
with limitations, with potentialities. Don' t try to change your partner.
60
00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:12.199
I think it' s better to
change the relationship, but you can'
61
00:07:12.199 --> 00:07:15.079
t change the couple. One cannot
get the couple to act in a different
62
00:07:15.120 --> 00:07:20.240
way than it is. And here
we have to be tolerant. Sometimes you
63
00:07:20.279 --> 00:07:25.800
have to make silences, sometimes you
have to take distance, sometimes you have
64
00:07:25.800 --> 00:07:33.680
to endure. But please be tolerant. And tolerance is to celebrate the individuality
65
00:07:33.720 --> 00:07:41.480
of that person, it is to
help him grow personally and that integrally.
66
00:07:42.639 --> 00:07:48.279
Please, the third element is acceptance
and tolerance. The room to share together.
67
00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:53.519
Quality time must be devoted to partner
life and it must be done on
68
00:07:53.560 --> 00:07:59.160
a regular basis. It is necessary
to know, to plan activities that both
69
00:07:59.160 --> 00:08:03.360
enjoy, to concentrate on the couple
when they are together, not to have
70
00:08:03.399 --> 00:08:07.560
the cell phone in hand while talking
to her, not to be aware of
71
00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:11.120
the computer or the series while sharing
a moment, no, no, no,
72
00:08:11.519 --> 00:08:18.160
the tension is for her or for
him, knowing to have an independent
73
00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:22.240
life, also that is combined in
those moments of sharing. You have to
74
00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:28.160
enjoy each other' s company by
creating new and better memories together, because
75
00:08:28.199 --> 00:08:33.120
those are the ones that will strengthen
the relationship. Make it clear whether the
76
00:08:33.159 --> 00:08:37.600
first is respect or mutual, the
second is trust and loyalty, the third
77
00:08:37.039 --> 00:08:43.399
is acceptance and tolerance, the fourth
is sharing time together and the fifth is
78
00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:52.159
essential to resolve conflicts in a constructive
manner. It' s normal for me
79
00:08:52.200 --> 00:08:52.960
to fight a couple, not fight
a couple, not love each other.
80
00:08:54.919 --> 00:09:01.000
It' s normal for you to
get angry sometimes, but you have to
81
00:09:01.080 --> 00:09:05.000
be able to express that anger in
a healthy, respectful way. The other
82
00:09:05.039 --> 00:09:11.240
must be actively listened to. We
need to find solutions that work for both
83
00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:15.799
of them. Here we must apply
the Ganagana, the win Wien and,
84
00:09:15.879 --> 00:09:20.919
above all, we must know how
to give in, we must know how
85
00:09:22.159 --> 00:09:24.759
to make commitments and fight to make
them. Without good conflict resolution, the
86
00:09:24.759 --> 00:09:33.919
relationship doesn' t work. He
ends up drowning or ends up generating the
87
00:09:33.919 --> 00:09:37.919
worst moments. Hey check out these
five elements, which are attitudes, which
88
00:09:39.000 --> 00:09:43.679
are tasks. Evaluate how these attitudes
are, these elements in your partner life
89
00:09:43.720 --> 00:09:48.799
and try to put very concrete tasks
into your life. Thank you for being
90
00:09:50.200 --> 00:09:56.480
there and thank you for sharing with
me this moment, this episode, and
91
00:09:56.840 --> 00:10:00.360
nothing I will continue to share with
you through the messages, through the networks,
92
00:10:00.720 --> 00:10:03.480
through all the spaces in which it
is missing. My email is p
93
00:10:03.639 --> 00:10:09.559
Alberto José Arroba hockemail you know







