April 16, 2024
¿Cómo enfrentar los malentendidos?

Todos vivimos momentos conflictivos con los personas que están alrededor, con los que amamos y con los que no amamos.
Todos vivimos momentos conflictivos con los personas que están alrededor, con los que amamos y con los que no amamos.
WEBVTT
1
00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:09.080
Why the affective relationships I have are
not stable. I like assertiveness because it
2
00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:14.839
invites us to prudence that what should
motivate our word is always love is You,
3
00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:21.239
and that is already the basis to
go out to conquer many goals,
4
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:30.239
to fight, to give a better
version and enjoy life fully. You know
5
00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:42.759
the question we ask ourselves is how
we should face the conflicts that arise in
6
00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:51.960
our lives with the people around us. We know that we all live conflicted
7
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:56.280
moments with those we love and those
we do not love, with those who
8
00:00:56.359 --> 00:01:02.600
are part of our most intimate bond, and also have helped them with whom
9
00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:07.719
we are sharing some experiences in life. No one can say no. I
10
00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:11.719
don' t have conflicts with anyone. That would be a lie. That
11
00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:15.239
is why I believe that the appeal
we make to life is not that there
12
00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:23.359
are no misunderstandings of interests with those
around us, but that we know how
13
00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:27.000
to deal with them and that we
know how to solve them. For effective
14
00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:34.719
conflict resolution, it is essential that
we have attitudes that foster dialogue, understanding
15
00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:42.840
and the search for joint solutions.
Whoever they are, that is, from
16
00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:52.200
the nearest to the farthest. We
need attitudes in our daily lives that generate
17
00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:57.200
dialogues, that are propensity for understanding
and that we can find joint solutions.
18
00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:07.360
Today I would like to plan art
four attitudes to deal with the conflicts you
19
00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:12.280
have or what we have with the
people we share with. The first is
20
00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:19.000
to focus on the solution. Listen, many times we give too much thought
21
00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:23.639
to the problem, to the conflict, and what we do is delve into
22
00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:30.960
the wound, emphasize in the difficulty, generating emotions that will not lead us
23
00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:36.159
to a solution. Rather, focus
on the solution, how you' re
24
00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:40.479
going to get ahead, how you' re going to untie that knot and,
25
00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:47.360
above all, have clear consequences for
the benefits that that solution brings you
26
00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:53.520
in life. The second attitude is
to keep an open mind. Hey,
27
00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:58.159
you don' t know all of
them. Your truth is not absolute,
28
00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:05.599
you are not the owner of the
truth. That must be made clear.
29
00:03:06.199 --> 00:03:12.240
One has a determination, but opens
his mind and opens his mind to be
30
00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:19.520
willing to listen to different perspectives,
to consider different points of view to which
31
00:03:19.639 --> 00:03:25.080
one has understood that the important thing
is to learn, that the important thing
32
00:03:25.159 --> 00:03:29.520
is to grow, the important thing
is not to win or lose. Many
33
00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:36.240
times conflicts are not solved because we
are focused on winning or losing, and
34
00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:40.639
what it does is get into the
mud of meaningless argumentation, in the mud
35
00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:49.280
of discussion that takes us nowhere.
No, please open your mind to any
36
00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:54.280
perspective, without losing your values,
without losing your position, but trying to
37
00:03:54.360 --> 00:04:01.000
understand what others have. That comes
together to trust the process, that is,
38
00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:08.159
we solve the problem step by step. Sometimes we get the anxiety for
39
00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:13.520
a solution. Sometimes we get the
anxiety to solve the problem, and that
40
00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:18.199
only leads to blocking us. The
only thing that leads to is to generate
41
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:26.560
reckless, aggressive and even violent foolish
attitudes that contribute nothing to the solution of
42
00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:31.560
the problem. We must communicate assertively
and respectfully. If one point is to
43
00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:38.879
focus on the solution, if the
second is definitely to keep an open mind,
44
00:04:40.079 --> 00:04:45.560
the third is to have accurate and
respectful communication, this means. This
45
00:04:45.639 --> 00:04:50.600
means that we need to express our
needs, our feelings clearly, honestly,
46
00:04:51.399 --> 00:05:00.319
using respectful language, a language that
does not show our intention to blame or
47
00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:05.519
attack the other person, but to
solve the difficulty and to express the interests
48
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:14.399
and what we have within the heart. To speak of a certain communication,
49
00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:20.639
of a respectful communication, implies listening
attentively to what the other person has to
50
00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:27.560
say, without interrupting them, without
demonstrating that we despise the position of the
51
00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:32.360
other person, but on the contrary, generating a genuine interest in understanding what
52
00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:38.199
he is saying, in understanding his
point of view. Here, too,
53
00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:42.079
the emotions of the other person must
be validated. What does that mean,
54
00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:46.240
what does it mean to recognize them, to accept them, even if one
55
00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:50.519
does not agree. Man, you
felt humiliated, you felt humiliated. I
56
00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:56.959
didn' t mean to, but
I recognize your valid emotion, your emotion
57
00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:00.000
I disagree. It' s not
what I wanted to make true, but
58
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.319
I accept it and I understand it. And a fourth element that is fundamental
59
00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:11.199
and that I point out many times
in our daily pursuits, is empathy,
60
00:06:11.800 --> 00:06:15.680
understanding. My grandmother defined it easily. My grandmother said we should put ourselves
61
00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:21.839
in the other' s place,
try to understand the motivations, needs and
62
00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:29.319
perspectives that the other person has,
recognizing the common points, looking for the
63
00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:32.680
interests that bring us together, not
only what divides us, not only in
64
00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:36.519
what distances us, but trying to
find what unites us and what allows us
65
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:44.839
to get ahead. Here. It
is essential to avoid those judgments, to
66
00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:48.680
avoid those destructive, aggressive assertions,
because if you are criticizing, you are
67
00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:54.519
prosecuting, surely you are not going
to attend to a bridge of solution.
68
00:06:55.120 --> 00:07:00.360
That is why we must focus on
the present. Many people, not just
69
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:04.399
us in the problem, do not
solve the conflict, because they pass the
70
00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:09.439
line and begin to collect everything that
they have lived in the past, which
71
00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:13.879
must have been stepped on, because
past step, it must have been solved.
72
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:16.160
And this is not the time to
say. It is that forty years
73
00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:20.560
ago, it is that ten years
ago, it is that fifteen years ago,
74
00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:26.920
we do not need to be willing
to focus on today, on the
75
00:07:26.920 --> 00:07:31.120
present. There you have four keys
to reflect, to put them into practice.
76
00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:34.720
I repeat them to you, because
I think they are fundamental. One
77
00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:42.160
must focus on the solution, two, we must keep the mind open,
78
00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:49.480
three we must communicate assertively and respectfully
and four, we must be empathetic and
79
00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:56.519
seek to understand this I say at
all levels, in all relationships, in
80
00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:00.319
the relationship of a couple, in
the relationship with the family, in the
81
00:08:00.360 --> 00:08:05.079
employment relationship, in the relationship with
friends, in all these relationships conflicts occur
82
00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:09.079
because we are unique and unrepeatable beings, because we are beings, we have
83
00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:15.720
different interests, and it is normal
for those interests to be intertwined, that
84
00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:22.639
there is disagreement, or that they
simply collide with situations and we have to
85
00:08:22.639 --> 00:08:24.279
face them always looking for a solution. I' m not afraid of difficulty.
86
00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:31.279
I have believed that conflicts are inevitable, but they are necessary. The
87
00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:41.679
important thing is that after the conflict
there is a solution and an improvement in
88
00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:48.759
the relationship, that the reality of
our relationship is now clearer, more diaphanous,
89
00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:54.360
more functional, more definitive. We
need this so we can get through,
90
00:08:54.559 --> 00:09:01.759
otherwise things don' t work out
and we end up suffering and I
91
00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:07.440
end up suffering. I' m
going to invite you to humbly review these
92
00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:11.960
attitudes and wonder if you' re
having them because we' re good at
93
00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:15.480
serving clearings. No. It'
s not that Cristian doesn' t,
94
00:09:15.720 --> 00:09:18.320
isn' t that Mary doesn'
t, isn' t that Joan doesn
95
00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:20.679
' t? No, no,
no, no. You check yourself in
96
00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:26.840
a moment of silence. Review it
because spiritual experience always leads us to interiority,
97
00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:35.000
always leads us to connect with ourselves. Hey, I know that you
98
00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:39.039
' re valuable, that you'
re valuable, and that you have a
99
00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:41.720
lot to contribute. Thank you for
being there, thank you for talking to
100
00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:46.639
us, thank you for bringing these
episodes to so many people who need it.
101
00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:52.159
I' m still with you in
Spotify, in Amozon, in Apple.
102
00:09:52.320 --> 00:10:03.279
Who says you know boom Bux
1
00:00:00.040 --> 00:00:09.080
Why the affective relationships I have are
not stable. I like assertiveness because it
2
00:00:09.599 --> 00:00:14.839
invites us to prudence that what should
motivate our word is always love is You,
3
00:00:16.320 --> 00:00:21.239
and that is already the basis to
go out to conquer many goals,
4
00:00:22.000 --> 00:00:30.239
to fight, to give a better
version and enjoy life fully. You know
5
00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:42.759
the question we ask ourselves is how
we should face the conflicts that arise in
6
00:00:42.880 --> 00:00:51.960
our lives with the people around us. We know that we all live conflicted
7
00:00:52.000 --> 00:00:56.280
moments with those we love and those
we do not love, with those who
8
00:00:56.359 --> 00:01:02.600
are part of our most intimate bond, and also have helped them with whom
9
00:01:02.640 --> 00:01:07.719
we are sharing some experiences in life. No one can say no. I
10
00:01:07.799 --> 00:01:11.719
don' t have conflicts with anyone. That would be a lie. That
11
00:01:11.799 --> 00:01:15.239
is why I believe that the appeal
we make to life is not that there
12
00:01:15.359 --> 00:01:23.359
are no misunderstandings of interests with those
around us, but that we know how
13
00:01:23.480 --> 00:01:27.000
to deal with them and that we
know how to solve them. For effective
14
00:01:27.079 --> 00:01:34.719
conflict resolution, it is essential that
we have attitudes that foster dialogue, understanding
15
00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:42.840
and the search for joint solutions.
Whoever they are, that is, from
16
00:01:42.920 --> 00:01:52.200
the nearest to the farthest. We
need attitudes in our daily lives that generate
17
00:01:52.200 --> 00:01:57.200
dialogues, that are propensity for understanding
and that we can find joint solutions.
18
00:01:59.000 --> 00:02:07.360
Today I would like to plan art
four attitudes to deal with the conflicts you
19
00:02:07.719 --> 00:02:12.280
have or what we have with the
people we share with. The first is
20
00:02:12.360 --> 00:02:19.000
to focus on the solution. Listen, many times we give too much thought
21
00:02:19.159 --> 00:02:23.639
to the problem, to the conflict, and what we do is delve into
22
00:02:23.240 --> 00:02:30.960
the wound, emphasize in the difficulty, generating emotions that will not lead us
23
00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:36.159
to a solution. Rather, focus
on the solution, how you' re
24
00:02:36.240 --> 00:02:40.479
going to get ahead, how you' re going to untie that knot and,
25
00:02:40.919 --> 00:02:47.360
above all, have clear consequences for
the benefits that that solution brings you
26
00:02:47.360 --> 00:02:53.520
in life. The second attitude is
to keep an open mind. Hey,
27
00:02:53.680 --> 00:02:58.159
you don' t know all of
them. Your truth is not absolute,
28
00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:05.599
you are not the owner of the
truth. That must be made clear.
29
00:03:06.199 --> 00:03:12.240
One has a determination, but opens
his mind and opens his mind to be
30
00:03:12.280 --> 00:03:19.520
willing to listen to different perspectives,
to consider different points of view to which
31
00:03:19.639 --> 00:03:25.080
one has understood that the important thing
is to learn, that the important thing
32
00:03:25.159 --> 00:03:29.520
is to grow, the important thing
is not to win or lose. Many
33
00:03:29.520 --> 00:03:36.240
times conflicts are not solved because we
are focused on winning or losing, and
34
00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:40.639
what it does is get into the
mud of meaningless argumentation, in the mud
35
00:03:40.639 --> 00:03:49.280
of discussion that takes us nowhere.
No, please open your mind to any
36
00:03:49.919 --> 00:03:54.280
perspective, without losing your values,
without losing your position, but trying to
37
00:03:54.360 --> 00:04:01.000
understand what others have. That comes
together to trust the process, that is,
38
00:04:01.319 --> 00:04:08.159
we solve the problem step by step. Sometimes we get the anxiety for
39
00:04:08.280 --> 00:04:13.520
a solution. Sometimes we get the
anxiety to solve the problem, and that
40
00:04:13.560 --> 00:04:18.199
only leads to blocking us. The
only thing that leads to is to generate
41
00:04:18.639 --> 00:04:26.560
reckless, aggressive and even violent foolish
attitudes that contribute nothing to the solution of
42
00:04:26.680 --> 00:04:31.560
the problem. We must communicate assertively
and respectfully. If one point is to
43
00:04:31.600 --> 00:04:38.879
focus on the solution, if the
second is definitely to keep an open mind,
44
00:04:40.079 --> 00:04:45.560
the third is to have accurate and
respectful communication, this means. This
45
00:04:45.639 --> 00:04:50.600
means that we need to express our
needs, our feelings clearly, honestly,
46
00:04:51.399 --> 00:05:00.319
using respectful language, a language that
does not show our intention to blame or
47
00:05:00.399 --> 00:05:05.519
attack the other person, but to
solve the difficulty and to express the interests
48
00:05:05.519 --> 00:05:14.399
and what we have within the heart. To speak of a certain communication,
49
00:05:15.000 --> 00:05:20.639
of a respectful communication, implies listening
attentively to what the other person has to
50
00:05:20.639 --> 00:05:27.560
say, without interrupting them, without
demonstrating that we despise the position of the
51
00:05:28.000 --> 00:05:32.360
other person, but on the contrary, generating a genuine interest in understanding what
52
00:05:32.839 --> 00:05:38.199
he is saying, in understanding his
point of view. Here, too,
53
00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:42.079
the emotions of the other person must
be validated. What does that mean,
54
00:05:42.439 --> 00:05:46.240
what does it mean to recognize them, to accept them, even if one
55
00:05:46.240 --> 00:05:50.519
does not agree. Man, you
felt humiliated, you felt humiliated. I
56
00:05:50.519 --> 00:05:56.959
didn' t mean to, but
I recognize your valid emotion, your emotion
57
00:05:56.959 --> 00:06:00.000
I disagree. It' s not
what I wanted to make true, but
58
00:06:00.399 --> 00:06:04.319
I accept it and I understand it. And a fourth element that is fundamental
59
00:06:04.800 --> 00:06:11.199
and that I point out many times
in our daily pursuits, is empathy,
60
00:06:11.800 --> 00:06:15.680
understanding. My grandmother defined it easily. My grandmother said we should put ourselves
61
00:06:15.680 --> 00:06:21.839
in the other' s place,
try to understand the motivations, needs and
62
00:06:23.199 --> 00:06:29.319
perspectives that the other person has,
recognizing the common points, looking for the
63
00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:32.680
interests that bring us together, not
only what divides us, not only in
64
00:06:32.680 --> 00:06:36.519
what distances us, but trying to
find what unites us and what allows us
65
00:06:36.560 --> 00:06:44.839
to get ahead. Here. It
is essential to avoid those judgments, to
66
00:06:44.920 --> 00:06:48.680
avoid those destructive, aggressive assertions,
because if you are criticizing, you are
67
00:06:48.680 --> 00:06:54.519
prosecuting, surely you are not going
to attend to a bridge of solution.
68
00:06:55.120 --> 00:07:00.360
That is why we must focus on
the present. Many people, not just
69
00:07:00.360 --> 00:07:04.399
us in the problem, do not
solve the conflict, because they pass the
70
00:07:04.560 --> 00:07:09.439
line and begin to collect everything that
they have lived in the past, which
71
00:07:09.839 --> 00:07:13.879
must have been stepped on, because
past step, it must have been solved.
72
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:16.160
And this is not the time to
say. It is that forty years
73
00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:20.560
ago, it is that ten years
ago, it is that fifteen years ago,
74
00:07:21.279 --> 00:07:26.920
we do not need to be willing
to focus on today, on the
75
00:07:26.920 --> 00:07:31.120
present. There you have four keys
to reflect, to put them into practice.
76
00:07:31.639 --> 00:07:34.720
I repeat them to you, because
I think they are fundamental. One
77
00:07:35.480 --> 00:07:42.160
must focus on the solution, two, we must keep the mind open,
78
00:07:43.079 --> 00:07:49.480
three we must communicate assertively and respectfully
and four, we must be empathetic and
79
00:07:49.600 --> 00:07:56.519
seek to understand this I say at
all levels, in all relationships, in
80
00:07:56.839 --> 00:08:00.319
the relationship of a couple, in
the relationship with the family, in the
81
00:08:00.360 --> 00:08:05.079
employment relationship, in the relationship with
friends, in all these relationships conflicts occur
82
00:08:05.160 --> 00:08:09.079
because we are unique and unrepeatable beings, because we are beings, we have
83
00:08:09.120 --> 00:08:15.720
different interests, and it is normal
for those interests to be intertwined, that
84
00:08:16.120 --> 00:08:22.639
there is disagreement, or that they
simply collide with situations and we have to
85
00:08:22.639 --> 00:08:24.279
face them always looking for a solution. I' m not afraid of difficulty.
86
00:08:26.199 --> 00:08:31.279
I have believed that conflicts are inevitable, but they are necessary. The
87
00:08:31.439 --> 00:08:41.679
important thing is that after the conflict
there is a solution and an improvement in
88
00:08:41.720 --> 00:08:48.759
the relationship, that the reality of
our relationship is now clearer, more diaphanous,
89
00:08:48.039 --> 00:08:54.360
more functional, more definitive. We
need this so we can get through,
90
00:08:54.559 --> 00:09:01.759
otherwise things don' t work out
and we end up suffering and I
91
00:09:01.759 --> 00:09:07.440
end up suffering. I' m
going to invite you to humbly review these
92
00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:11.960
attitudes and wonder if you' re
having them because we' re good at
93
00:09:11.960 --> 00:09:15.480
serving clearings. No. It'
s not that Cristian doesn' t,
94
00:09:15.720 --> 00:09:18.320
isn' t that Mary doesn'
t, isn' t that Joan doesn
95
00:09:18.320 --> 00:09:20.679
' t? No, no,
no, no. You check yourself in
96
00:09:20.759 --> 00:09:26.840
a moment of silence. Review it
because spiritual experience always leads us to interiority,
97
00:09:26.639 --> 00:09:35.000
always leads us to connect with ourselves. Hey, I know that you
98
00:09:35.080 --> 00:09:39.039
' re valuable, that you'
re valuable, and that you have a
99
00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:41.720
lot to contribute. Thank you for
being there, thank you for talking to
100
00:09:43.200 --> 00:09:46.639
us, thank you for bringing these
episodes to so many people who need it.
101
00:09:48.200 --> 00:09:52.159
I' m still with you in
Spotify, in Amozon, in Apple.
102
00:09:52.320 --> 00:10:03.279
Who says you know boom Bux







